My Yellow NotePad

A legitimate reason for my recent silence..

2011-09-05T15:21:00.000-04:00

Ummm, yeah. I guess you could say real life started back up for me. About three weeks ago a friend called out of the blue and after catching up for a bit told me that she was leaving her position as a graduate assistant track coach at Tufts to pursue other endeavors, primarily returning to school full time. Knowing that I had been bouncing around without a real level of seriousness since I returned to Maine she suggested that, if I was interested, I should contact the women's coach and see if she had anyone in mind to fill the position.

After mulling over the idea for a couple of days I decided it wouldn't hurt to show a little bit of interest, get a bit more information about the position, and at least get my name out a bit more within the coaching ranks so if other positions were to become available my name may get a mention. As it turned out none of those future contingency outlooks were necessary because after a couple hours of good conversation I became the new graduate assistant coach with the women's cross country and track and field teams. This means, more or less, that I'll be a full time assistant coach for the next couple of years and getting paid a minute stipend while taking master's courses that are paid for by Tufts. In the span of two weeks I've developed a (potentially..) pretty serious two-three year plan that's gotten me extremely excited, while also bumming me out to an equal extent because clearly this means I won't be returning to the 808 any time soon.

While having my share of freak-out, overwhelmed moments I spent August 24-26 in the Greater Medford/Somerville attempting to get the proper administrative paperwork in order to begin work on the 31st, classes on Sept 6, and also, well, find a place to live and resolve all that other nonsense that relocation entails. As is often the case with my life this all went rather smoothly. And by rather smoothly I mean I was able to find a crusty room to rent on the cheap close to campus and have about half of my academic information in place for classes to begin tomorrow. But coaching started up a week ago and I have to say I'm loving things. After being away from sports in general for a couple of years I think I've gotten into the proper frame of mind mentally that allows me to enjoy coming to work every day. Granted, it's only been a week; however, I'm extremely excited about the opportunity to work with some talented athletes and learn from the quality coaches I'll be working under. As I process how things have progressed over the past couple of weeks I just find myself having an all-encompassing desire to learn which I never had while an undergraduate at Bates. I needed some of this shit to be on my own terms and now that it's my decision to get back involved and be busy and broke I'd better be as positive mentally as I can and just make the best of it.

I feel extremely lucky for how things have worked out, and to some extent I feel a little bit guilty how easily things have worked out for me, dating as far back as high school. At the same time I've worked my ass off to certain extents, and this work ethic has opened quite a few doors for me. So if you want me to apologize for getting lucky and landing interesting opportunities by my "flexible" schedules in life, well, that's just not going to happen. K, I'll stop defending myself...now.

Anyways, I'm planning to begin taking courses in pursuit of an MA in Urban and Environmental Policy and Planning, with my focus being on the Environmental Policy side of things. My crunchy, granola-eating side is going to finally show itself more than just letting my face and hair grow long. Actually, I did trim my beard growth considerably prior to kids returning to campus. However, the hair, banana clips and all, is here to stay for the foreseeable future. That's just where my comfort level lies. So I'll be taking two courses in that field beginning tomorrow, taking the GRE's soon as well and then applying to the program in January for acceptance to begin in the fall of 2012. If accepted then I'll be residing in the Greater Boston area for another year or two as I complete the necessary coursework, internships, and thesis. Yikes, right?

Strange thing? This (probably..) three year commitment doesn't feel daunting at all. Taking classes right now without being officially enrolled in a program isn't all that scary to me. At worst, if I'm not accepted then I'll have spent a year taking courses of my choosing that I was interested in and gained another year of coaching experience at an institution well respected for both its academic rigor and athletic prowess. And, my acceptance into a program will more or less take care if itself so long as I do well in the two classes I'm taking this fall, providing even more motivation for me to get my head out of my ass and actually do my best to learn.

Alright, I've talked plenty about myself for today. This definitely feels like the lamest post I've ever written and I apologize for not telling more folks about this before I skipped town. I'm sneaky, what can I say. But now that I've moved in and settled into a place with more opportunity for interweb I hope I'll be able to resume goofy topics concerning me experiencing a new place. I certainly don't enjoy people that much and, while not NYC, there are certainly quite a few more people around here than in the 207 or 808. Let's see how this goes...Cheers.

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PS - Dammit. I had some goofy-ass videos I had been meaning to post for a little while but I just realized these links are all bookmarked on my desktop at home. Sorry folks. Nothing in particular is coming to mind right now so stay tuned until I'm able to remember or I'm able to unearth new gems. That is all, and, as always, thanks for your continued readership of the 'Pad..

Comedic Gold..

2011-08-15T05:23:00.000-04:00

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And Silver (Hell, maybe platinum...hilarious..)..

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No work for this guy today. Though I do have some business I'll be tending to over the course of the day I'd like to think I can get actual commentary on here by days end. Then again it's almost 5:30 and my lights are still on. So flip a coin and we'll see which side comes up...Cheers.

Put it on the big screen. Crank it to eleven, too..

2011-08-12T03:52:00.000-04:00

Cheers.

There and back again..

2011-08-11T01:41:00.005-04:00

Speaking to my lack of posting..

...I'm not sure if my activities have picked up (doubt it..), my brain has picked up, or the degree to which I'd like to discuss things has decreased but but at the same time the number of times I say to myself "this would be an appropriate blog topic.." has increased, perhaps tenfold so. However, once I sit down I find myself to only have one or two sentences to say that I find interesting and of merit and I'm left staring dumbfounded at the screen for quite a few moments before my mouse scurries away to change the song I'm listening to or to bring solitaire back to the forefront (See what I did there...I used mouse, followed by scurry. That's funny, right..?).

The topics which come to my mind or the folks I encounter, while extremely interesting to me and my own mind, I struggle to find ways to phrase in more mellow and humorous tones without naming names and delving too deeply into my psyche. I've never discussed with anyone potential topics. Ever. A few folks have suggested interactions or doings or goings-on of mine which they believe to be blogworthy and I do take these suggestions into account and one or two of these topics have found their way onto the blue letters on the forefront of this yellow backdrop. But, shit, I don't know what it is but I've been struggling since about March to find topics that I want to actually RAMBLE on.

My digressions have come to a standstill. My tangents feel tangented out. Call it a rut. Call it a funk. Call it whatever you'd like to but, more or less the fact remains that since the new year began my attention to detail (and by "detail" I mean: regular blogging, and also proofreading the few posts I am able to conjure up..) has decreased significantly. No doubt this decrease has been impacted by a multitude of factors. Surprisingly, I believe this decrease was most likely caused by a decision to return east that ultimately occurred just a few [Editor's note: Now, shit, twelve?] short weeks ago. As I reflect, slightly drunkenly, I'm more or less certain I can nail down three cornerstone philosophies which my posts have always touched on. Mostly I shoot to entertain myself. Secondly I hope I entertain other close to me who choose to read every now and again. Thirdly, which, I'm sure others have kind of realized already, is that I enjoy escaping from what most would call "reality."

It is this third factor that has been causing the most confusion to my typing recently. Once I had it set in my mind my plan was to return to the Northeast, it was easy to separate myself from new, soon-to-be reality by, well, actually relaxing and enjoying the time spent on one of the most beautiful islands on this here planet Earth. Somehow, I'm not sure how exactly, I changed my motivations of maximizing those future-ish goals/ambitions/plans/whatever I'd written down which required, well, money, to finally (I guess?) actually, following through on some of those "future-ish whatevers," this being making it to the city of San Francisco, hopping a flight from Burlington to JFK because I had planned to go to NYC before I ended up in VT on a whim to party like a college student again, buying three 30packs at the corner store fifteen minutes before they close to keep a party going until dawn...nothing related to actual professionalism, all related to searching for (or some nights attempting to create) that next good time. Just live.

This was all (well, most. Revisions and additions happened slightly. It needed a bit of polishing. Hell, it still could use a bit more polishing..) I got through before I quit that particular evening. The date was May 26. I don't recall any particular spark of inspiration.

This next blurb was written prior to the "short story" I posted just a quick minute ago:

I've become mildly infatuated with pandora and I don't particularly care that it seems to have fallen out of style with a lot of people. Newer, hipper sites have more options which allow users to create playlists and not have commercials and probably some other stuff that I don't even know is possible on a free music-playing website (special streaming stations, cars that have wings to activate so they can fly away, the options may very well be endless..) but pandora is simple. I can type in an artist that I enjoy and hear some of their music along with some artists I've heard before and associate with my artist of choice. What's more interesting to me is hearing artists I've never heard before, or songs by some artists that I generally wouldn't associate with my artist of choice. NEW MUSIC, WHAT FUN!

This shouldn't be as interesting as I'm making it out to be. Actually, I haven't made it out to be interesting at all. This could explain the many moons I've allowed to pass since I've last posted. I'm not doing nothing. I am doing things. Generally, drinking. Less so, drinking. I don't particularly enjoy discussing my less fine points over and over and over again because there are only so many ways you can paint drunken nights as youthful indiscretions. Especially when you're not exactly a youth anymore and the days you “casually drink until five in the morning” are much more common than days where, well, the “casual drinking” ends slightly before five in the morning. I'd actually enjoy being able to say that I've been burning the candle at both ends, but if the candle has been lit during the day I didn't light it. I suppose you could say I've done a fine job of saving on wick and wax in the mornings because my ass struggles to get out of bed before noon at best on days when I don't have to make it to the office.
Aside: I've just found out the “delete” key on my laptop sticks. I was eating a sangwich a few months ago and some jelly slid out onto my keyboard and it was then I figured out why you’re not supposed to eat around and over semi-high priced electronics. Sue me…So now when I press it to delete a letter it might delete one...or thirty or fifty letters that may have made up some part of a potentially clever phrase or statement.

I may actually be one of the only people who uses the “delete” key with quite a bit of frequency. I found it to be quite handy back in the day when I used to actually edit some of my writing. I guess you could say recently I'd fit in well with the Grantland crowd. ZING. Bill Simmons has become everything he used to claim to hate about sports reporting. You had a good run, Sportsguy. Now you're Dan Shaughnessy in "blog" form. For shame. Tidbit: they both went to Holy Cross. I wonder if Danny knows he has a wiki page. You can learn a lot on the interweb..

Anyways the “delete” key removes text in the opposite direction of the “backspace” key. "Delete" is especially helpful when creating paragraphs from the large blocks of text I sometimes think in. So I can click somewhere after the period of a sentence, hit return, and if I happened to have some spaces to start my new paragraph I can just hit "delete" once or twice and not have to use my arrows or cursor. Also helpful with capital corrections as I have the uncanny ability to place my cursor immediately before a word starts but I can never quite be accurate enough to get it placed just after the first letter of a word. Quirky efficiency trumps the need to refine already learned behavior.

Let me now continue. I drink. I smoke dope. I don't like talking about dope smoking because I have a disconnect with some of my readers. Older readers. Motherly readers. Same goes for the every-night boozing. I don't enjoy celebrating it, even though I could probably write a book on the days-in-the-life of myself and the people I've encountered this fine summer. It's been brutally fun.

But enough on that...I also have irrational fears. I have never been afraid of snakes before very recently, even though I never particularly cared for them. Now I can't even look at pictures without my shit, let alone see them. Ask Shawn about what I do when I see a snake. Holy smokes. I pulled into Florian's Market in the early afternoon to buy some sips for an afternoon by the pool circa-June-ish when I noticed near the entrance a sick motherfucker that had two (FUCKING TWO) snakes around his neck. One was one of those yellow and white sonsofbitches that was at least as thick as a pint glass in the middle and probably six feet long. FUCK THAT. WINDOWS UP DOORS LOCKED and I sped through the parking lot to get the hell out of dodge. I was stupid and waited to turn left and the whole time I was getting more and more flustered. This was my only experience with something that could be termed a panic attack and, let me tell you: it was excruciatingly miserable and if I never see another snake for the rest of my life it'll still be too soon. When I watch Planet Earth I try to figure out in my head based on the title if it'll be snake-free or not. Let's just say I've never see the "Jungles" one or any of that horseshit. Lions mauling an elephant, however, are good, old fashioned family fun for all ages.

And murky water. Murky sea water especially but I don't particularly care for murky lake water, either. A couple of weeks ago I spent a couple of nights in Harpswell, tucked up the coast on the New Meadows River north of Cundy's Harbor but still very much on the ocean and I couldn't get this irrational fear of jumping in from the dock and getting pummeled by a shark. These fears came out of nowhere and are more or less unfounded. Hell, this happened well before Shark Week on Animal Planet. I took a dip but I was in and out before you could count to three. F my paranoia.

I wanted to continue this that particular evening but at the same time I really wanted to write about killing a seal so I stopped the former and concentrated on the latter. One of these days I'm going to write an interesting, well-developed and complete short story. That wasn't it.

Let's resume...somewhere. Last night I wanted to go to bed early. I had nothing to do and wasn't sold on watching game two of the Sox-Twins series. So around 8:15pm I brushed my teeth and filled my water bottle. I always try to fill my water bottle before bed so if I wake up in the middle of the night thirsty I don't have to walk to the kitchen. This doesn't happen a lot but it certainly helps me sleep easier knowing its there. Anyways I filled my water bottle then decided I could also make a BM before bed and that that would probably help me sleep a little better, too. I took a seat and picked up a Sporting News and started reading about some linebacker from ASU who supposedly had some pretty serious collisions floating around on youtube. I took the bait and checked them out. These clips led to other football hits in general. Which led to some home plate collisions in baseball. Which led to baseball trick plays. Which led to a couple of Dustin Pedroia interviews. Which led back to baseball plays. Which led to warranted and unwarranted baseball ejections. Which somehow transitioned to hockey goals and fights. Which then led to Sportscenter Top 10 plays and other random clips and interviews from the sporting world. This led to me sitting in my computer chair in my room with the lights off from roughly 8:30pm Tuesday evening until 2:45am Wednesday morning. Early evening, indeed. Remarkably, none of the highlights involved Bo Jackson. Guess that leaves me something to search for tonight..

Another aside: somehow last night in my sports-related travels I came upon this:
I had an inkling to post it somewhere, ideally here but it probably would have ended up on thefacebook because I'm lazy and I didn't have any desire to write last night. It reminded me of my whole seal-killing story. That's a TON of blood. If I had to choose between a bear attack and a shark attack I've always said I'd choose two bears over a single shark...but this might make me seriously rethink my position. Mildly frightening, but not downright scary. My own trauma occurred when the video ended and one of the four "similar videos" that pop up when a video ends was titled "Burmese python strikes and constricts" or something deplorable like that. I came as close to throwing up looking at a computer screen as I ever have before and that was as I was X'ing out my whole window, other tabs-be-damned. I'm pretty sure I have a serious snake phobia. I made it back to it tonight but I didn't finish the video and didn't look at the righthand margin. I really don't like snakes these days [Editor's note: I got a chill when I proofread this paragraph. I'm 100% fucked.].

To continue...instead of getting up and being productive starting at 8:30am this morning the alarm sounded on cue then finally stopped after a couple of minutes and I stayed in bed until after eleven. Yes, you read that correctly: I'm now too lazy to reach over and shut my phone alarm off manually. Once I made it out of bed I had a cup of coffee and sat myself down on the couch around 11:30am where I took a nap until 2:30pm to wake up and flip between shows on the Cooking Channel and the Food Network. That's been a pretty standard day in the life.

Maybe I should lie to people and tell them I actually do more than sleep late and waste most days away. But, I don't. I've been in Maine for three months and I've worked fourteen days total since I've been back. I've been paid for three but that's besides the point. Money is and should be tight but I always seem to find a way to buy beer, wine, spirits, smoke, whatever is needed. I don't own a car but I can mooch off of my parents enough that I can always make it to the bar or the show or the beach. I've yet to do more than converse about what most would term serious, legitimate employment. I'm fairly certain I've drank more nights in the last three months than I haven't, and drank to excess more evenings than your run-of-the-mill 27 year old should drink period. This leads to varying degrees of uncomfortability (yes, I just made that up..) around the general public who haven't ventured down these particular roads since it was socially acceptable many moons ago in their college years. That and I'm still more than able to disregard "tolerance" and get myself far more sloppy than these people who hardly ever party.

What people find to be refreshing at first glace when I tell them I have no immediate future plans soon become head shakes when their questions have been repeated a couple of times over and I'm still, more or less, in the same place. I should say my drinking habits aren't true all the time. When I don't leave the house I tend to not drink. I just don't do anything that could be viewed as productive, either, unless someone is really looking for a delicious orzo-stuffed peppers recipe (Giada came through in the clutch for anyone who is interested..).

Newsflash: my answers don't just seem to wear on you. Your questions wear on me. I've grown tired of defending myself because I know, at some point soon, something interesting is going to shake out for me. An unforeseen job opportunity. A new place to travel. Hell, if I've got nothing going on by Labor Day then I'm setting off to meander up the Long Trail in Vermont, then probably head back to the 808 to get my job back and keep my tan for the winter. Are those aspirations lofty enough for me?

Remarkably these questions aren't even really coming from parental influences. (Some, not close) Friends and (much more frequently) acquaintances: I don't want your life. I don't want to be a cubicle monkey. I NEVER want to be a cubicle monkey. There are more things to life than being able to say, "I have a job in an office, I have a car, I have my own apartment." Those things validate your steps (in your view..) forward in life, but at the end of the day they're just things. Generally, things that tie you down. Yeah, your 401k is in better shape than mine. I guess you win. But shit, for the most part I'm happy. Not all the time. I've yet to meet someone who's happy all the time. The fact I'm writing about being happy obviously means I'm not totally happy but that shit happens so whatever. Everyone has ambitions and goals and hidden secrets that they'd love to work out and come through but that's just not life. I mean, fuck, I'm 27 and I live at home with my parents and I drink too much so obviously I'm not GREAT...but things could be a lot worse.

I'm sure on some level this is directed at no one other than myself to pep me up and refocus my efforts and shake the end-of-summer doldrums. To help me transition into fall with new-found motivation and vigor. I don't want to get snowed in again. That happened two years ago and was miserable until I escaped. Then again maybe I should just stop listening to angst-ridden 90's rock and reading Tolstoy's Confession and Fitzgerald's The Crack-Up and believing their valleys somehow speak to the up-and-down nature of my perceived existence. That being said, Francis Scott might have been onto something when he wrote, "...in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day."

Who's glad I started writing again?

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Dinosaurs, unlike snakes, do not scare me:

Dinosaurs AND t&a? That'll leave me with a smile. Thanks, Frank. Cheers.

Untitled..

2011-08-02T02:34:00.000-04:00

I killed a seal today. I wasn't my intention but it was either him or me. I woke up and walked into the living room and, sure enough, he was already awake. He was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea and an english muffin biscuit. The god dam seal was eating a breakfast I didn't particularly care for, but still: he was eating my breakfast. How could this be? This was the last tea bag. There will be none for breakfast tomorrow if you don't purchase more. Decaffeinated green. This cannot be.

I blinked the crusted sleep from my eyes and I walked to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I took the washcloth and soaked it in cold water from the faucet and placed it on my eyes to remove the remnants of the night and then placed the washcloth on the back of my neck while I splashed water from the still-running faucet on my face.

He held out a razor. He didn't say a word. He said it's time to start your day.

Day? What day? I had been out of work for three months. Budget cuts. I became expendable. Too many of me at too much salary. We're going digital, they said. Severance was more profitable for business than, well, me. It's not like I didn't see it coming, just as I knew the seal would come to his senses in a moment or two, too. I took the washcloth off of my neck and wrung most of the cold water out and wiped my face moist with the still damp washcloth. When I sat the washcloth down on the edge of the sink he had already put the toothpaste on the brush and had wetted it under the faucet. I shut off the faucet and brushed and then turned the faucet back on to rinse the toothpaste out of my mouth and then shut off the faucet once more. I stared into the mirror over the sink and examined myself. I realized that I was naked.

I returned to the bedroom to dress. The seal had laid my cleanest shirt and slacks on the bed but was nowhere to be found. I dressed and walked out and, again, he was seated on the couch. I picked up the newspaper off of the coffee table. The elastic had been removed; it had already been opened. Yesterday's news. I took a sweater from the coat rack and put it on and then walked outside into the crisp fall air. It had come early this year. I lit a cigarette and began walking down the driveway and then continued down the street into the morning sunshine. I had forgotten to turn off the television. I hoped he would remember.

When I returned from my walk with a shopping bag in my hand he was outside, raking leaves. I decided this would be as good of a time as any. I clubbed him over the head with the same shovel I used to bury him. He didn't make a sound. He knew it wouldn't have made a difference even if he had. Seals are remarkably intuitive creatures. He had asked me after breakfast if I would buy more tea for tomorrow. I didn't answer him and it was then that he knew.

At first I considered eating him but I didn't know nearly enough about seals to know what to throw away and what to eat. "Tender seal fillets” sounds much better in your head than in internet searches. And besides, it wasn't even eleven by the time I put the shovel down the first time.

After tamping the remaining squares of sod into place I put the shovel down for the last time and then looked at my hands. Calloused and earthen, they looked like the hands of a blue collar, hard working man. I picked up the shopping bag and walked inside and sat down at the kitchen table. I removed the box from the bag and stood up and turned on the kettle. I returned to the table until the kettle whistled.

I hear it's your birthday..

2011-06-23T02:49:00.001-04:00

It's my birthday, too. Yeah.

Big things going on tonight. Gipper's Sports Grill is hooking it up tonight and after 9pm all draft beers will be half price in honor of yours truly. I'm kind of a big deal in this town.

And since I'm old as dirt here's a little throw back to my youth for you all..

A timeless classic, really. Man, it was good to be in kindergarten. There's no better time in a man's life than when you're young enough for it to still be socially acceptable to pull your pants all the way to your ankles at a urinal. I may try that move one or twice during the course of the evening because, well, dammit it's MY DAY. Cheers (and see you all tonight at Gip's..).

O, a PS for you:

I had the pleasure of hearing Eric Carle speak at my college graduation a few years back. Tell me this guy isn't the man:

A spitting image of Burl Ives, isn't he?

Addition by subtraction..

2011-06-20T03:01:00.003-04:00

"The time has come," the blogger said, "to type from memory,
"Of New York City, Auburn nights, and Manchester, Tennessee.."

The hardest thing I've found about not blogging for so long is my struggle to incorporate old business that really deserves discussion while I try not to fall behind on current events. This past week alone I've been up well after 4am four out of seven nights (latest documented clock was 6:19am Friday evening/Saturday morning, jumped in a pool after 3am, drank 1000 beers (give or take a twelve pack..), hit up the Bruins' Stanley Cup Parade in Boston, bachelor partied for Jeffrey Sloat's upcoming nuptials , spotted Tim Thomas at Foxwoods and told him he was "the man" while forgetting to shake his hand (Yep, I didn't shake his hand. Liam shook his hand. I spotted him from afar and got all girly and wanted to take a picture while Liam threw out a handshake. Liam got the handshake. I got shot down by midget PR man. Still, I'd rather shoot for the moon. And my stand up to say "Tim Thomas!" put a nice, shit-eating grin on his face. Shaking a guy's hand sounded better on thefacebook than making a guy smile. So I lied. Sue me.), got back to the gym on two CONSECUTIVE days, and many many more goofy shit. AND THAT'S JUST ONE, rather average, WEEK.

I'd love love love to talk more about this past week and many weeks that have encompassed my leaving the 808 (doubtful this will ever happen..), my parents visiting the 808 (slightly more likely but still don't hold your breath..), my travels to San Fran (the post I wrote while in SF will likely have to do unless a tangent brings me back..) Burlington, New York, Boston (twice..), as well as more recent happenings in Greater L/A but first I must do my best to discuss the elephant that's been in the room since June 13, and likely well before since I had no preparatory lead-in...and that would be the Bonnaroo in Tennessee.

Main entrance early Friday afternoon, with the What stage in the background. Pretty crafty shot, eh?

Yes, The Bonnaroo. THE Bonnaroo. And it will always be "The Bonnaroo," because The Boss Bruce Springsteen wouldn't stop calling it "The Bonnaroo" during his epic (to me..) three hour set two years ago at my first Bonnaroo. Besides the Boss and his E Street Band, I've never heard anyone else throw "the" in front of Bonnaroo. It's just "Bonnaroo." Plus, it reminds me of Adam Sandler's Goat skit off of What The Hell Happened To Me when the goat wants to head down to the ragu festival to do some mosh pitting. We encountered quite a few people down at the Bonnaroo who were not familiar with the Goat and his verbage. I thought everyone was familiar with Adam Sandler's early-ish works but I guess that's not the case. This actually proved mildly entertaining as J.Mac and I can crack ourselves up for hours with the same few jokes we tell every day and, for the people we hung out with at our tent, our material was entirely new and fresh and unlike anything they had ever heard before.

Not to get too distracted and off topic but a lot of nonsense gets talked when J.Mac and I roll together. He's turned me on to some of his old college clan's catchphrases and buzzwords, and I have done the same with the goofy shit we used to talk about back in the day in A-Town. AT THE SAME TIME, our more-or-less everyday debauchery in the 808 provided us with ample opportunity of goof-talk material. It's tough to describe in no other way than to say we've succeeded in setting Webster's English language back a couple few hundred years. It's a tight rope across a fine line and the line gets crossed many, many times a day but only in the name of fun and humor. A couple few years back, I think around the summer of 2009 I was told my life is, more or less, a walking "that's what she said.." joke. Most every sentence spoken, and oftentimes just a single word, can elicit a follow up goofy song lyric, movie quote, joke, story, you name it. And for me one of the better parts of my day is, well, just free flowing all of this shit that I think in my head. So, Noah, while you say you want to kick it this summer I must prepare you for things being decidedly worse than a couple of years ago. I hope you understand that I do it to entertain myself and others, not to bother you.

So, on to Bonnaroo. First time around was, for the most part, orchestrated to a T. Either Mr. Lawler or myself had quite a few bands we were passionate about and wanted to see and we made every effort to see as many acts as we could. And the music was awesome. Just, flat out, awesome. Even being completely worn out for the last two days due to a weeklong bender that traveled down the east coast, we never missed a show we had set our minds on seeing. And it was a blast. But the focus was on the music and the music alone.

Not that Mr. Lawler had planned a lot in advance, but things were certainly more haphazard in preparations for round two. Obviously some of this was simply due to the fact I had been before and knew, for the most part, what to expect, but at the same time this was much more of an impulse purchase than last time. There were many acts that caught my interest this time around but I had very little familiarity with most of them. Not having a car for my time in Hawaii didn't let me prepare in the same manner I did before, buying used CD's at Bull Moose to investigate newer acts. I had no car so I had no motivation to buy CD's. Pandora or any internet radio was never an option because we pirated wireless and our ground floor apartment had a swollen prostate or something so we could only produce a weak stream of "internet" with varying consistency. My iPod ALSO finally shit out on me sometime around March or so after close to six good years of service and, well, I just decided not to buy another one as it's not too bad to listen to the sounds of your surroundings. It seems my internal monologue entertains me now more than ever, and I'm ok with that.

But, damn it, again I'm stretching slightly off topic. What I'm trying to say is there were very few acts I went into feeling like I HAD to see. This time around was a much more take-things-as-they-come. And it worked out equally as well, though very, very different from the first go-round. Temperatures were HOT HOT HOT this time. Upper 90's every day with no cloud cover whatsoever. By the end of the week Centeroo (Bonnaroo proper, where the stages and tents and other goofy shit were located) was a virtual old west dust bowl. Last time is was middle 80's at most, clouds rolled through on the regular, and serious (SERIOUS. The hardest rain I've ever seen in my life was on I-24 headed east from Nashville to Manchester. Tornado warnings were all over the radio. I was going 25 on the highway with my wipers flailing and I couldn't see beyond the hood. And this is another aside...Can someone explain to me "past" and "passed" usage again. I can't figure it out for the life of me. Time passed, half past. I get that. But I'm almost never confident I use the correct one. Really grinds my gears. That's why I just used "beyond." I think I could use "past," but I'm just not sure...HELP!) rain fell Thursday morning and Thursday night, creating some mud pockets but eliminating dust. Dust had never crossed my mind as green grass was everywhere last time around. To put it mildly, the dust was miserable. My throat is still burning after being back home from a week (Some may say my body's got some sickness from the seven week bender I've been on that has continued well, let me get back to you tomorrow as chances are good I'll have a couple of pops somewhere...but I still blame the dust.

My Jesus Feets on Sunday afternoon. It's not mud. It's...crud..

Cold War Kids set on Sunday. But you could tell that through the...dust.............

This may also be a good time to say I took no pictures last time. Everything I mention about 2009's Bonnaroo is just my [sometimes mis-]remembrances. I hope to stay accurate, but I'm really not sure. Memories come and go and twist and return sometimes. Should have taken better notes last time.

Sorry. It's nearing 3am and I must go to bed. What I plan to elaborate on further (and re-read this to correct grammatical mistakes.....) tomorrow...nah forget it I won't ruin it. Pretend your a single-digit kid and it's the night before your birthday and you didn't snoop for presents...nervous anticipation! Just listen to The Goat and laugh your ass off.

Cheers (and plenty more to come...and go back and re-read my Lewis Carroll twist. It's genius. A fine example of the reason YOU WANT ME ON THIS PAGE. YOU NEED ME ON THIS PAGE. And...scene.

Also just realized I had still been posting as of Hawaiian Standard Time. It was, in fact, the lug nut. And, yes. I fixed it.).

O BABAY

2011-06-16T11:54:00.000-04:00

Productive day? LOOKING THAT WAY.

Made it to bed before 2am? CHECK.

Up before 8am? CHECK.

Heading to the gym? CHECK.

Heading into the sunshine post-swolesession? CHECK.

Sippits in the sunshine? Yeah, most likely.

Thursday evening at Gipper's? I'D BE A FOOL NOT TO.

Boston for the weekend? SOUNDS LIKE FUN, EVEN FOR A small kine HOCKEY FAN.

So much for backing off of the bender...this is rapidly approaching two months. I'd say I'm getting too old for this but, hell, it's [Thursday], I ain't got no job, and I ain't got shit to do. Cheers.

Sweet T[N].

2011-06-16T00:41:00.000-04:00

To begin:

Never toast bread for a sangwich, then not immediately eat the sangwich. It just tastes like you're eating stale, day old bread. I don't like stale, day old bread. If you like stale, day old bread I may have just handed you the secret to a happy life. Thank me later.

I set out with some delicious chicken salad to make a tasty dinner and it certainly was prepared by yours truly with love, the real key to making delicious meals. And, c'mon, toasted bread, ESPECIALLY marble rye toasted, is a perfect vessel for chicken salad consumption. Unfortunately, post-sangwich-making I got distracted and my chicken salad sangwich sat on its plate for quite some time and, upon my return, the bread was no longer warm and crispy but room temperature, rather dry, and somewhat chewy. To sum: my dinner was average at best this evening. Ho hum.

ANYWAYS I've been on quite a vacation these past three or so weeks. Today, as I sit in my home office I feel a weary, east coast traveler. I can say east coast because this past week I made it within a stone's throw of Atlanta and thus well below the line that bears Mason Dixon's name. In fact, I was behind the wheel when we passed into Maryland and I saw the "Mason Dixon Line" sign on whatever interstate we were on at the time and I felt pretty special. I don't remember ever seeing one of those signs before. Unfortunately it caught me by surprise and I was the only one awake at the time so no picture was able to be taken.

Let's call this foreshadowing. I need to get to sleep. I'm attempting to force myself back into a normal sleep schedule. I didn't realize it was 5am until Papa Skip called when he got up to make sure I'd be home with his car so he could go to work. Nothing says shenanigans like getting home after 5am on a Wednesday morning and saying, "Hi, parents." while they're readying for work. Good thing I'm on vacation for the rest of the week...Cheers (And more, much more to come. This I promise you, written in pen. Not pencil..).

Haters gonna...hate?

2011-05-22T05:38:00.000-04:00

Yes. It's true. All I've done for the past couple of months is apologize for my lack of posting. But, hell. It is what it is. And that cliche phrase means that sometimes other business takes precedence. And for the last 10 weeks that's meant: Marie & Skip coming to Maui for some days. My last days of work. My last days (for now...?) on Maui. San Fransisco for a few days. Maine for ten or so days, which was surprisingly new and decidedly different than any other Maine experiences to date. A couple of Portland trips, the latter leading to an evening in Burlington and a suddenly-booked flight to NYC, where i currently sit on a couch at 5:30am and my innerworkings are forcing me to blog right now because I do, actually, enjoy this goofiness.

And...yes. As far as the internet goes, I've still got it. Don't believe me? Scope this!!!!!!!

It looks as though moose is a dog A dog that looks like a piece of run over shit, but apparently it's a dog all the same. This person takes pictures of his moose in precarious situations, then posts them to an online photo site. Moose seems like a pretty cool dude. Click on "moose on stuff" on the page to see his two page and twelve or so pictures of perfect art. Well played, sir or madam. And read the bio. Moose is a god-damned rock star.

--

I have the hiccups. Hiccups are fucking lame. Carry on.

Square one, my slate is clear..

2011-05-06T06:51:00.000-04:00

Aloha. In case you forgot, my name is Matt and I used to be a pretty serious blogger up until a couple of months ago. Then, it appears, I quit cold turkey. Let me see if I can get back into things over the next couple of weeks and months; Lord knows I don't think I'll have anything better to do.

This post finds me in San Francisco staying in Big Black Eric's apartment while Eric is in New Orleans. Pretty silly, I know. I like San Francisco. I've been here since midday on Tuesday and I'd love to spend a few more days here but with Mother's Day on Sunday I've decided to keep my red eye flight Friday evening. I love you, Ma. Something tells me I'll be looking to make it back out this way later on in the summertime, though. There's a three day music festival in Golden Gate Park around the middle of August which has caught my eye. Attendance will be determined based on how motivated I am following Bonnaroo. I have a hunch I'll be pretty fired up to continue touring and the lineups are different enough that it should prove more than entertaining if I can make things work.

I spent most of Wednesday wandering the northern half of the city on foot, and for a city of a million people it seemed surprisingly clean and well, relatively safe. The weather has been tremendous, too. I had no idea what to expect as the city is located in Northern California but it's been close to 80 the three days I've been here and tomorrow sounds no different. The sun isn't quite as strong as on the Valley Isle but it still felt nice wandering around in shorts and sandals for half a day. I made it to the corner of Haight and Asbury as part of a little hippy self-exploration but was pretty bummed to find a Ben & Jerry's scoop shop there. Normally New England-based companies popping up far away put a smile on my face, but this seemed a little to contrived. O well, that's capitalism for you.

Don't Hate. Haight...get it? Didn't think so..

I spent awhile walking into all of the goofy head shops looking for a replacement for my old Grateful Dead shirt from back in '96 but had no luck. Seems to be a trend, I've never seen another shirt like it. I don't have a picture of it but there's not much left of it anymore. Many, many holes. It has to be my favorite shirt, though I don't wear it often because it's destroyed and most everyone finds it inappropriate to wear in most public settings. Some day I'll find a new one and hopefully take better care of it - dryers are the enemy.

From here? Back to Maine. Hopefully getting some hiking in right off the bat. Put some air in my bike tries and get rolling around town. I'm quite certain I won't be buying a car in the near future; fuck gas prices. Truth be told I'm a little nervous about heading back to town. I haven't been away for very long but at the same I feel like I'm going to grow tired quite quickly of discussing my motivations for moving back. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID. Heh, heh. Felt right at the time, so going to make sure it's right.

One of the first things I'm going to do when I get home is wash my hair. Without the ocean to freshen up the mop the last couple days I'm already feeling unhappy with its present state and I can only foresee things getting worse. That, and I've got some natty dreads forming in the back and I feel like those are an all or nothing kind of a hairstyle until I end up a homeless vagrant. Which I hope doesn't occur anytime soon. I hope Cindy at Taboo can still work her magic because I'm not sure I've got a home remedy up my sleeve to completely solve this problem. That and I feel like the first time you wash your hair in a given year should be a special event, especially considering we're five months into the year. Oops, guess I just kept forgetting.

On that lovely thought I must be going to bed. I'm wheels up in less than 24 hours and I've still got the Golden Gate Bridge to try to check out. I did make it to the pretty Queen Anne Victoria's across from Alamo Square. And it now appears there were a couple of babes in bikini tops so that wasn't bad, either and provided me an opportunity to take a good, albeit sketchy to some, picture from the top of the greenspace. Heeeeeeeeeey, aqualung..

And as I'm a sucker for a sunset..

...I took this while I was attending my first ever Bates alumni event. It was at a yacht club down close to Marina Green, clearly right on the water. Eric made me wear shoes and a collared shirt; I was unimpressed and upon arrival deemed it completely unnecessary though moot because I brought neither tshirt nor sandals to the event. I stepped outside with a glass of wine and a snack for 20 or so minutes to take it all in. It was a nice middle to my Wednesday. Every now and again Bates proves its worth, and I found this to be one of those times. Free wine and sunsets: That's what this guy does.

--

I watched music videos for the first time tonight in forever. I happened to flip to either Fuse or Palladia (can't remember which..) And Grace and the Nocturnals' video for their song Paris came on. Pretty quality video; Grace and Catherine look sexy and they brought in some Moulin Rouge-style dancers in braziers and panties and feathers and shit. Oo la la, indeed. But I found this new Beastie Boys video to be even more impressive:

Pay attention to the cast of characters, it's pretty silly.

Catch you back on the east coast. Cheers (And I think I've finally figured out how to upload pictures from my old-school cellular telephone onto thefacebook. So, stay tuned for that tomorrow or the next day or the next day or the next day. Exciting shit, I know..).

It's April, fools..

2011-04-01T05:55:00.001-04:00

..and apparently New England is getting hammered with snow today...and there's nothing very funny about that. It's April; it's time to cut that snow shit. If I can't hit the links at Fairlawn immediately when I get back to the 207 then I'm going to be pretty bummed out. Well, not really, but shit, it's April. I've heard enough about snow until next year.

I had the last two days off from work and that was tremendous. I can't make up my mind as to whether or not I enjoy non-traditional weekends. It's weird for me to have my workweek start on a Friday and end on a Tuesday, as it has for the last couple of months. Weeks still start on Monday so I tend to get confused as to what day it is quite a bit. But at the same time it's pretty nice having a business day off to go to the bank or the post office when the need arises and not feel like I need to scramble around to fit it in on a normal workday. I've been meaning to make a dentist appointment for about nine months now and I still haven't quite squeezed that into my schedule so hopefully I'll be able to get on that on of these days, too. My pearly whites could use a little scrub from a friendly dental hygienist. It's been, well, a little while.

As Thursday happened to be my “Sunday,” I watched some Celtics on the television and the start of the baseball season while I cleaned the house. A cleaning was long overdue and the young gentleman who had been sleeping on an air mattress behind the living room couch for the last four months headed back east Thursday, so I figured the timing was right. Washed dishes. Laundered. Picked up the trash and returnables and recycling that had been slowly accumulating for quite some time in various places around our home. Then took out the trash and returnables and recycling and placed them in their appropriate receptacles. Vacuumed (And, as our vacuum is a piece of shit and gets clogged every 30 or 45 seconds, this required me to fix the vacuum three times before our carpets were returned to pristine condition..). Heavy duty wipe-downs of the kitchen table, coffee table, sink, stove, and kitchen counters. Ya, there was a lot to be done. So while it was a struggle to get myself out of the house before six this evening to get myself down to the local farmer's market in time to score a half-priced tofu and avocado sangwich, it felt like a fairly productive day for not really leaving the house. Score one for me, as this will be the last time I do anything to clean up until it's time for us to move out at the end of the month. I think I've done my part for a good while.

I drank close to nine liters of water today. I think I've peed more than twenty times. I guess you could say it was a good day. Here's to April getting off to a good start. Cheers.

Intruding thoughts..

2011-03-16T15:38:00.000-04:00

I walked into my room last night from the kitchen with all of the lights in the house off and stumbled around for a short while as I tried to find the lamp on my nightstand to turn on that would provide my room with some illumination in the wee hours of the morn. Since December we've had a guy sleeping in our living room on an air mattress so I try to be quasi-considerate when I'm awake and he's asleep. I mean, clearly I'm still kind of an asshole because I'll stay up surfing the wave that is the “internet” in the kitchen while he's trying to sleep, but at least I do it with the lights off. But, shit, when I get home from work gmail and facebook status updates can't wait. And we can only pirate "internet" in our kitchen so being an asshole is kind of my only option, or I'd have a frowny face on while I try to go to bed, and I try to never go to sleep with a frown on my face.

Wow, anyways I went to flip the button that turns the light on my nightstand on and I think, “What the hell would I do if, when this light turns on and fills the room, there's someone else besides me in there?” Wouldn't that be a pretty fucked up situation? It would blow my mind. Like, wouldn't that just ruin the rest of your life?There are few things that leave people scarred for life and I think that would be one of them (Another would be rape but rape's fucked up and I don't want to talk about it and all rapists should die so let's just move on..). I mean, even if the person in my room that wasn't me wasn't doing anything. Or if they were asleep. It doesn't matter – my schema of safety and security within my house would be irreparably shattered. Yeah, SHATTERED.

Sometimes I wonder what I'd do if something happened to me like what happened to Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men when he gets into his car, starts driving, looks into his rearview mirror and homeboy's chilling in his back seat. WHAT THE SHIT?! I go through this scenario a lot late at night when I'm getting to my car. I make sure to check the back seat before I get in – I ain't no fool.

It's kind of like whatshername, Helen Hunt, maybe? in Pay It Forward, when she comes home and homeless people are kicking it in her kitchen having sangwiches because the kid who sees dead people decided it would be appropriate to invite them home for sangwiches, because, well, because the kid believes sangwiches taste better under a roof than by a trashcan fire. But, holy shit.

This would be a good teaching moment for a parent, however. “Listen, son (or daughter, but we'll stick to son because the kid who saw dead people was framed as having a penis and self-identifying as a stereotypical “male,” as defined by western culture..). Have you ever heard the saying, 'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime?' You have? Great. So, next time you think to yourself, 'I'd like to feed the homeless,' DON'T FUCKING BRING THEM HOME.”

Yeah, it would go something like that.

In other news Coach Roach commented on an old photo album I had thrown up long ago from early college summers in the A-Town and it brought me back to what thefacebook used to be like before it became facebook and half of the planet became a member. Back in the good old days when it was a network for college students to stalk people whom they were too shy or, for whatever reason, unable to actually communicate with face-to-face. And, just now, this makes me wonder why poking has become so taboo these days. Or, was it always taboo? I don't think it was taboo, and I don't think it's taboo now. I'm still a poker and I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit it. Pokes make me feel good, and they should make you feel good, too. Poke: the best conversation starter since, well, saying hello.

Thefacebook back in the day seemed so much cooler because it was kind of an exclusive club. “Oh, you're still in high school? GETTHEFUCKOUTTAHERE.” “Oh, you're old? GETHEFUCKOUTTAHERE.” Now everyone and their mother (literally) is on thefacebook. No, I take that back. Everyone's on facebook. But, for the lucky ones, we can harken back to the days when pokes, posts, and pictures could only be seen by your goofy-ass, college-enrolled friends on the[original]facebook. Or, are we actually unlucky as we long ago lost this debaucherous sanctuary? Quite the brain buster, if you ask me..

Light weight. Cheers.

Ides of March cometh and goeth..

2011-03-16T05:40:00.000-04:00

And I'm without intelligent words of wisdom. So, I'll just post a good tune for your listening pleasure and I'll try things again tomorrow. I now say, "Goodnight;" though, I expect for most of you this will greet you as a, "Good morning."

Cheers.

Beginning semi-introspective writing...now:

2011-03-14T15:47:00.000-04:00

Instead of spending time writing I've been doing my best to finish a couple of books over the last week or so. I enjoy reading immensely so I find it to be kind of a bummer when I don't find time to read. When I had a flat bike tire it was easy to find time because most mornings I'd take the bus down to work so I'd have time to read on the bus and more time to read before my shift started, but I'd lose time in the evenings because instead of only needing fifteen minutes to get home on the saddle I was at the mercy of the thumb gods. It's not easy hitchhiking after dark, especially with my goofy mustache, but more often than not something worked out before I got too far north. This, however, lead to two situations where I was without food to eat for a couple of days at a time because, by ten o'clock, I wasn't asking to get dropped off at the supermarket when I'd need to find another lift home from there. A pain in my ass, if you ask me, but no one asked me so I just made it work.

Anywhoo I've been able to read two books that I got myself for Christmastime. Just today I finished up Jon Krakauer's Where Men Win Glory, more or less a biography of Pat Tillman, a former NFL player who enlisted in the Army after 9/11 and was killed by friendly fire while on patrol in Afganistan. It was a pretty good read, well-researched and well-written. And, ironically, prior to this I took a leisurely stroll through Acid Dreams - The Complete Social History of LSD: The CIA, The Sixties, and Beyond. This contained sort of a who's who of big name people from the fifties, sixties, and seventies and their experiences turning on. Beat writers, artists, politicians, millionaires, scientists, musicians, all were dabbling in psychedelics, many of which were developed and tested by the CIA and other government organizations in an effort to develop a truth serum to be used during the Cold War. Interesting read, all the same, sprinkled with excellent quotes from many different characters. Caused me to add a few titles to my “To Read” list and also brought my attention to some music I hadn't listened to in a little bit. The 13^th Floor Elevators always put a smile on my face.

Instead of reading and writing, though, most evenings have been spent with leafy greens and the television on, which makes me feel even more lazy than usual. As I indicated a few days ago, Stop Making Sense has been on more or less repeat recently at 25 Heather Lane, Apt #115. And, really, I can think of few better ways to spend an evening than pressing play, getting in a Talking Heads trance for about 90 minutes and then coming to “Once in a Lifetime” and literally wondering “Well, how did [we] get here?” I don't have time to delve into great detail about my Stop Making Sense experiences, but, I'm a fan, and I find it remarkable how each song on the DVD is at once similar and entirely different from each of the other songs. I appreciate the band, the DVD, and their commitment to creativity more with each viewing. It continues, and probably will always, boggle my mind in one way or another.

Another evening last week found me reuniting with The Big Lebowski. This was glorious. Sometime during my shuffle of things in July (I think.It might have been October...my memory isn't that good..) my copy of Lebowski disappeared and it's yet to surface. I'm not sure if I left it somewhere at home, if I loaned it to someone (I don't think this is the case. I'd like to think I'd be better at keeping tabs on one of the THREE dvd's I have, well, had out here. Now I'm down to just Wayne's World and Stop Making Sense. That's really all I need, I guess. Also, I found it funny but when I was typing dvd's I missed the 's' key and hit the 'a' key. I don't care who you are: that's funny.) or it just got left behind one of the places I stayed in between. So it had been a good few months since The Dude and I had a chance to kick back together and it was especially nice to have that time to reconnect. So, yes, “The Dude time” is more important than “The 'Pad time.” My apologies to those affected.

This all leads me to ponder whether six weeks is an incredibly long amount of time or an incredibly short amount of time. I've got about six more weeks here and this is causing me to go in many directions about where I'm at in life. I think I'm taking my job too seriously, which is kind of silly considering I wipe down dirty tables for a living. And, for whatever reason, I'm choosing to leave this pretty good job, in a pretty nice climate, with pretty good weather, and pretty good scenery, and pretty pretty girls to...move back in with my parents, unemployed? What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't know. I'm finding myself bored out here, and I'm quite certain that working in a restaurant, especially a restaurant six thousand or so miles from my hometown, is not something I'm be interested in doing for even a minor portion of my future. But, holy shit, it's going to be tricky to extricate myself from this place.

I'm at a point now, where, more or less, I know I want to get busy living very soon, I'm just not quite certain I know what I want to do to get busy living. Living out here for well over a year has kind of put me into a holding pattern: I know I'd like to take another step in life, I'm just not sure in what direction I should be stepping. Compiling this angst is the very place I'm heading back to is where I felt stalled out and trapped before I...moved out here. I've resigned myself to the fact I may go home and be somewhat miserable and I'm okay with this, just the simple act of moving home for a summer to pursue activities I've been wanting to do for a little while now while I was working makes me wonder if, while not working, I'll actually feel in a position to spend money to goof off when I've become kind of terrible at spending money.

How, for example, am I going to be able to go on hikes and travel places unless I buy a car? Guess I have to buy a car. F. My problem with savings is, well, I see it as savings. Not spendings. So, once money enters my savings account it has a tendency to stay there. I'm pretty sure I'd surprise quite a few people with the total, considering the goof-off things I've done for the past couple of years, but am I saving to the point where it is negatively impacting my everyday life? I don't know...or should I, instead of using a savings account, be looking to deposit some funds in a tax shelthered IRA or some other kind of retirement account? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SOMEONE WHO'S A FINANCIAL PLANNER PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO ASAP.

Savings is good, I suppose, but shit, I've saved this money so I can take time off and have fun, didn't I?! Or do I just save it to save it? The world may never know...until I get home and I get started.

I'd really like to buy a road bike this summer but I'm already hesitant to because Ma-dukes is no longer working for Leon Leonwood's sporting goods and outdoor gear company. I'm not sure if I'll be able to pony up full price for something like that. I'd love a kayak, too. And I'm not sure yet but I might be in the market for a new hike stove and I'm considering trading in my tent for a slightly larger model. But, F, full price for all of this hoopla? And maybe new boots, too?! And then I'd need racks for the kayak and potentially the bike, too. This is a sticky situation. Hell, maybe I should just try to get a job there working a couple of days a week for a couple of months. That's actually not a terrible idea, come to think of it.............

Returning to car talk for a minute, right now I'm torn between getting an old Volvo 240 wagon when I get home or getting a little bit newer, little bit nicer pickup truck, for the purpose of capping the bed and having it act, more or less, like a wagon. I could sleep in the back of either, not that I'm planning anything like that......

But what are some thoughts on this? I've already done the Volvo thing once to mixed reviews from myself. While I had it the Blue Bird was a dream to drive and cost very little to keep on the road, but at the same time she started to fall apart not long after we became partners. So, the whole age-factor could unnerve me a little bit, and I'm not sure how many Volvo wagons were made with manual transmissions. The last thing I want in a new-to-me car is an automatic. That's just amateur hour. But, see? More questions that I'm asking myself. And I won't be doing anything with these thoughts for close to two months? Why the shit am I fixated on them now? Maybe I'm a worrier. Fretting over things gives me something to do to pass the time and this fretting allows me to actually feel like life is somewhat difficult, when most things out here are skewed more towards the easy living, joke kind of lifestyle. In a sense, the easy living lifestyle I enjoy so much out here is motivating me to search for a career more up my alley, as I know I can easily not think, blink, and have been out here for another few years and wonder, “Well, how did I get here?” And, no, Ma, while I find Pat Tillman inspiring for the choices he made, a four or five year commitment is something that doesn't really do it for me.

All this is probably just fluff to cover the fact that by this time next year I'll be a farmer on a quiet spread, tending to my crops like they did in the old days. Or, maybe not.

Cheers.

NEWSFLASH:

2011-03-11T18:18:00.000-05:00

Nothing crazy happened. Had to stop watching the video from Japan, that was some sad stuff.

More to come later. Carry on.

Cheers.

For about the past week non-work hours have been occupied mostly by:

2011-03-01T15:26:00.000-05:00

To schedule a screening: you know my name. Look up the number. Cheers.

Broken, Broken..

2011-02-22T15:06:00.001-05:00

As luck would have it the day after I posted a love fest about the tandem bicycle the front tire went flat while I was at work and I had to walk it home. I still haven't got it fixed yet because I'm lazy. Most all of last week I took the bus, finagled rides , and at times threw a thumb out to get from point A to B and it seems like it's going to be the same kind of week this time around because I don't see myself finding much time to make it to the bike shop in Lahaina until the weekend. Full disclosure: The front tire has a couple of broken spokes on it so I don't want to ride it again until the spokes are fixed and the rim is trued. I'm more than capable of patching a bicycle tube and have all of the necessary tools to perform that particular task...but I have no reason to fix the tube until after the rim is fixed and I don't see myself having time to get the rim down to Lahaina until Saturday because I work during the day all week. Fooey. I walked home from work today. That was a pretty nice time. The sun was setting as I was walking so it wasn't too hot and the view is always nice. Even today, when it was quite voggy and hazy.

When the winds are out of the south/east the volcanic emissions from the Big Island volcanoes blow up and the air gets pretty shitty. It's not fun to breathe and the air is heavy. It was like that all of last week and it's supposed to keep up until Wednesday or Thursday. This makes me unhappy. My forehead leaks a lot when the days are like this. It's also pretty shitty to sleep because there are no cool, north/west trade winds blowing. It's not all fun and games.

I might jog down to work tomorrow. You know: keep the body guessing. F, I need to get that rim fixed......

My iPod has decided not to work anymore, too. The clickwheel will no longer function. So, I can charge it. But I cannot use it. Steve Jobs can go choke on a pretzel. I treated that thing like royalty and it's only four years old or so...yet now I have to buy a shitty new nano that's got some stupid ass touchscreen that I'll probably break within six months. Fuck apple. They need to know when they have good things, like simple, metal-encased iPod nanos, they should KEEP MAKING THOSE. F technology, maaaaaaan.

A new iPod isn't high on my priority list right now, however, because student loans were paid just a minute ago and I just scooped some BONNAROO tickets on Saturday and rent is due next week so my discretionary spending account isn't quite as large as it usually is. When the rent comes due each month I just cut a check...but my roommates are usually a bunch of delinquents there's at least one or more each month who won't pay without threats of broken legs. Suck on eggs, fellas. It all works itself out in the end; I'm just much more comfortable KNOWING I can pay rent than hoping they'll each actually come through on the first of the month, like, you know, normal, decent people do. I live with rapscallions, I tell ya..

Besides, what better way to kick off March than by buying a new iPod. yipee.................fudge.

Cheers.

Something to get you giggly prior to your weekends..

2011-02-17T15:01:00.000-05:00

Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius. I run into a lot of people who don't know Adam Sandler comedy. A couple of people recently, when we started playing this, were like, "wait...where's the video? It's just guys talking?" Yes. Have some god damn imagination. Not everything has to be shitty and overdone like Bedtime Stories. If there was a video I hope it would have a shitty mascot costume like the penguin in Billy Madison or Chubb's shitty fake wooden hand in Happy Gilmore. You know, real comedy.

On a somewhat tangented course, but trust me, I'll bring it back around, this goes out to loyal reader M.Closson: If Bonnaroo isn't in the cards we'll just have to find some more music to hit up this summer. Mountain Jam, maybe? Or just another show. Hell, we could just head out to the ragoo festival on Peaks. See what I did there? It's funny, you know, because it's bigger than a normal sized hat. It's an oversized hat. Cheers.

Bicycle Deux..

2011-02-16T14:46:00.000-05:00

My old cruiser broke down a couple few weeks ago. That's happened since I fell off the blogging wagon, sorry for bringing you folks late to the party. I broke a spoke on my back rim and the tire started to rub on the frame. I didn't take much notice of this because the thing was a piece of shit anyway so I figured a little rub wouldn't make it much harder to ride that it already was. This small rub, however, continued to get worse over the next couple of days and the next thing I knew I was riding to work one afternoon and I kept hearing ::PING:: ::PING:: ::PING:: with my headphones blasting and my back tire got all shaky shaky and I stopped to find that had snapped almost all of the spokes off of one side of my rim. Shucks. I still managed to get to work without incident but there was absolutely no way I was riding it home. I started leather tramping home pushing my baby blue (never leave a fallen soldier behind, I say..) when, luckily, a friend with an SUV saw me walking and looped around and brought me home. YAY!

I still haven't got a new rim yet. This isn't to say I've been walking and hitchhiking and taking the bus everywhere. Actually, I've never stopped two-wheeling. First I hopped on J.Mac's bicycle for a couple few days (probably more like two weeks but days run together and I haven't really been paying attention..) until another one of my roommates finally got around to finding a job and he needed it to get to work. So, now I ride this gem:

Badass, right? One of the bartenders at Hula mentioned he had a tandem bike that he used to ride with his wife and J.Mac and I decided it would make for a hell of a goof off day to cruise that thing around all banged up on a day off. And it was a hell of a good day when we got around to it about a month ago outside of the fact I got a little squirrely on the handlebars and almost led us into a head on wreck on the highway when we were going about 20mph, but that's neither here nor there because we're still alive and kicking..........

We've had it ever since and the guy said when we borrowed it I could keep it for as long as I wanted, so when I gave up Jon's bike I just hopped on that thing and haven't looked back. The looks I get are priceless. You don't see a lot of tandems out here, and you certainly don't see a lot of people riding a tandem solo. Loner, you may say? Tell me something I don't know.

This just adds to my mystique. Now not only am I known by some as “the guy who's always riding his bike,” I've become “that idiot alone on the tandem bicycle.” Fitting, I'd say. The things a hell of a lot nicer to ride than the old cruiser I have. The guy had the frame sent from the mainland and then more or less tricked it out once he got it here a few years ago. It's got a climbing gear on it so hills are a breeze and it's a heavy ass road bike so once I drop her into the high gear I absolutely crank. He even had clipless pedals for it; that's some serious shit. Hell, it's even lighter than that blue piece of shit, if you can believe it. I'd say upgrade, both mechanically and goofily.

Chances are good the blue bird is headed for a dumpster and the Trek Double Track T-100 will be my mode of transportation for the next couple of months. I make due with what I have...............Cheers.

Happy Valentine's Day..

2011-02-14T15:00:00.002-05:00

Haha. Cheers.

Deja 'Roo?!

2011-02-12T04:11:00.000-05:00

Deja 'Roo?

Bonnaroo's lineup gets announced Tuesday, the 15^th. I'm excited. Yep, I'm thinking of heading down again. Just after the first of the year there was some pretty serious talk of heading to Coachella this year. J.Mac was down and a few other folks we know out here, so it definitely would have been a blast going with a big old Maui posse. It's the same sort of festival as Bonnaroo just it's three days in California in April instead of four days in Tennessee in June. Lot of bands, lot of hoopla, lot of silliness, little bit of ballyhoo. Plenty of goodness all around.

I was gathering up steam to go until I saw the dates and realized that it's the same weekend my folks are flying to visit me. So needless to say I removed myself from the Coachella plans pretty quickly but all the festival talk brought Bonnaroo back into my thoughts. This is Bonnaroo's 10^th Anniversary so I'm hopeful the lineup will be stacked with artists from years past. If that's the case here's your first announcement that I'm recruiting people to make the pilgrimage. I believe any true music lover should go at least once in their life. So, if you love music, start thinking about the trip. You don't have to live in Maine. Last time around stops were made in MA, NY, VA, and TN. I'd love to add DC and other random northeast cities to the wake of destruction if this comes to fruition. There are a couple of routes to go. Firstly is, obviously, I don't have a car. So if I'm still carless in June my ability to travel would be based on whether I had a ride down. Hence preliminary planning beginning...now.

I would like to find two companions, or four-five. Not so keen on three because three more people, four total, would be tricky for a long drive freighted with gear in a sedan. Five or six (more ideal than five..) total people would provide two three person vehicles. As well as plenty of people to mix and match when not everyone wants to go to the same show. There's a lot of different shit going on all day and all night so the more the merrier. But, yeah, I'm just throwing it out there. It doesn't need to be a ten day trip this time around, either. I know I've (probably..) got places to stay in Boston, NY, DC, and NC so breaking up the drive shouldn't be a problem. But after a one year layoff and no music to speak of out here I'm fired up to get my Jesus-feet hippy dancing again.

Dates are June 9-12. Check Bonnaroo.com Tuesday for the lineup announcement. But if this sounds of any interest to you then let's get some dialogue going. You know my name. Look up the number.

–

Lost a couple of pretty cool points in the middle of that post.

Number one is the fact my folks are coming out to visit. They're finally taking a vacation for their April vacation and I couldn't be happier for them. And, to make it better, they're coming to visit ME. Little, old ME. I'm excited to drink beer with them on the beach and sit at various bars on the westside of Maui. I think they'll enjoy themselves just fine out here. Love ya, Ma and Pa.

Letter B is the fact that, more or less, I plan to be back in Maine this summer. Yes, my time on the Valley Isle is coming to a close, at least for this time around. I want to spend a summer in Maine.

I know what some of you are thinking, and, yes, I've already spent 25 summers in Maine. But for about the last ten I've been an idiot and worked all summer. Work...isn't that fun. So, I want to use Maine as my home base for hiking and traveling and other happy horseshit that I should have been doing more of since I became a teenager, then an adult. I sprung this idea on my folks on Skip's birthday. “Happy Birthday, Dad. I want to move home! Surprise!!” Haha, I'm a terrible son.

No one out here really knows I'm pretty set on leaving. So if you live out here and work at Hula Grill...shhhhhhhhh. Management will know of my intentions next week during my one-year review. So you only need to be quiet for a few days. I know this is risky and all because I work at Hula High School but I can't talk about Bonnaroo seriously without it being mentioned...Bonnaroo isn't just a pipe dream: it can actually happen quite easily. So, get pumped and let's get an eclectic group together and let's make friends. If you have a car going down with an extra seat then let me know. I'd love to roll with. I'm just pretty sure I want to get there this year. If the lineup is worth it, that is.

–

Full disclosure: I wasn't planning on writing tonight. I went to bed before 7pm. Literally called it quits and went to bed at 6:42pm HST. I turned off the lights, put on some tunes, and closed my eyes. But I couldn't...quite...fall asleep. I got into a pretty serious text conversation and then Samm-O called and we hadn't talked in a couple of weeks so we chewed the fat for a bunch of minutes and next thing I knew I was wide awake and it was eight o'clock. Out of my room I came and on the TV went and Adam Sandler's Bedtime Stories was on. And I can honestly say I've never seen a worse movie than Bedtime Stories. I really feel like Adam Sandler signed on before the script was even written and then the writer said,” Fuck it. I can write whatever I want and people will still go see this.” I leave more plot on my toilet paper in the morning than this movie had. But, I did watch the whole thing. And the closing credits ran with Journey's “Don't Stop Believing.” And that was silly to me. Very very silly, but in a way fitting for the day.

Then, of course, I wasn't tired. But now it's eleven o'clock and I'm tired and I've written and I can still get to bed at a reasonable hour. It's amazing what I can get accomplished when I only work for two hours and forty five minutes. You can't find that many places on the mainland............Cheers.

..long, strange trip..

2011-02-11T04:19:00.000-05:00

I'm fairly certain it's been close to a month since I last posted and much longer than that since I posted anything of actual consequence. I don't count youtube videos as consequential posts, no matter how good the songs are. O well. I'm back today, at least for the day. Lack of posting hasn't been because I haven't been doing anything, nor has it been because I was doing too much. Posting wasn't delayed because I was sick, nor was it delayed because my computer malfunctioned. More or less, I didn't post because I was lazy and/or I haven't felt a strong desire to post in quite some time. There are still plenty of times throughout almost every day when something silly occurs or a silly thought rolls through my head that causes me to think “O, I should remember that and write about it later..” only to never bother getting back to it. I have entire sheets of paper covered with scribbled notes from the new year with nothing to show from it other than sheets of paper covered with scribbled notes.

But today is not a day for thoughts derived from notes. At least not yet.

Well, okay, let me start with the notes. While no posts came from the note-taking as of yet many of these notes helped me in other areas. One area in particular: sleep. I keep a little notepad by my bed because before I fall asleep a lot of random thoughts from the previous days and thoughts for upcoming days roll through my head. I don't know if this happens to other people but it happens to me every night, well, with the exception of nights I get obscenely drunk and just pass out. Anyways, I get these thoughts that I don't want to forget. Something as simple as an item for a grocery list or a phone call to make or an email to write or a song to listen to the following day. But if I don't write this tidbit down I'll become a nervous wreck and worry about forgetting it, like it would be the end of the world if I forgot oatmeal at the store and had to go back. But I can't stop doing this. I've been like this for awhile. It's annoying.

But, yeah, so let me get you up to speed. I've been working a lot lately. I started food running, which means instead of wiping down dirty tables all day I take food from the areas where the cooks create Hula Grill's delicious menu items and then drop it off to hungry tables all day. I've been doing this for about six weeks now, I guess. Generally I'm a busser by day and a food runner by night. But I don't think anyone reads this for day-by-day updates on my life. F work. I go to the beach a lot. I'm tan. That's all fine and well and the same it's been for over a year.

Oh, that's new. I've lived on Maui for over a year. I jumped ship from the 207 in early February, sometime between the 3^rd and the 5^th...but I forget the exact day I left. That's pretty impressive, right? It's been a hell of an extended vacation, I'll tell you that much.

Next week for my one year anniversary at Hula I get a free dinner for two. I'd like to find someone who doesn't drink to go with so I could get a free bottle of wine to drink to my face. “Yes, I'll have the Whipping Post pinot noir.” “Excellent choice, Matt. Two glasses?” “Nah. It's just for me. I can just sip on it from the bottle.” I love the way my mind works, the no glass thought just popped in my head right now after I typed “wine...to my face.” I HAVE TO DO THAT NOW.

Whoever's left reads this for the goofy stuff that pops up (LIKE DRINKING WINE FROM A BOTTLE AT A MODERATELY-CLASSY RESTAURANT, but let me continue..) in my life and in my head..

Like, for instance, I'm now more or less obsessed with the Animal Planet. It used to be the Food Network back in college (Giada still holds a place in my heart, though if I had it my way I'd let her hold something else. BAM.), then both the History and Discovery channels could keep me entertained for hours on end. But this was mainly because I didn't get the Animal Planet back in Maine. But let me tell you: find a time when Animal Planet is airing three or four consecutive episodes of Planet Earth, the BBC documentary. That show might be the coolest thing ever on television. It just makes you realize how easy we have it and how trivial our daily lives really are. Penguins live in -100 temps and don't eat for four months straight. Food in general for that matter. If most animals don't kill...KILL...their own food...WITH THEIR TEETH...they die. And people get pissed off when their steak isn't cooked to their desired temperature. WHAT THE FUCK. We're a silly species. Actually, let me find a different example, overcooked steak is the pits. People get mad when, well, shit, I can't think of anything. But people are damn finiky about their food and so many of us, at least in “civilized” cultures, don't lift a god damn finger to grow or raise or prepare their own food. I can't talk, either. I like my chili from a can, just like everyone should. But I sure as shit don't bitch about it. I KNOW everything I bitch and moan about is just nonsense. YET I STILL DO IT. I'M NO BETTER. I'M SORRY.

But yeah, watch Planet Earth. It's unreal. Animal Planet has shitty reality shows, too. Don't watch those. I never have.

K. I guess I'm not obsessed with Animal Planet. Just Planet Earth.

Alright, this is getting dumb. How about this:

So when white folks came over to colonize the islands the first to arrive were missionaries, who were, more or less, successful in converting a lot of locals to Christianity. So nowadays there's a lot of God-talk out here. There's even a New Testament written in Hawaiian pigdin that tells the story of “da spesho Jesus told by Jesus' guys (apostles..). I have a copy. I'm pretty glad I was able to acquire one. But that's not the point of this story. The point is one of the musicians who plays at Hula and I get along pretty well so we'll always make small talk either before or after his set, but when he's going to leave he always says, “God Bless” to me. This has been happening for well over six months and it still throws me for a curve every day. I NEVER know how to respond, because I'm not religious (I realize I'm going to hell for saying this. Whatever.). I appreciate his thought, but I can't say, “You too,” because I don't believe so my act could, in turn, hex him because I'm sending him lies. I'd never want to do this to anyone, so I just tell him, “Thanks, man.” But EVERY time he says “God Bless” to me this goes through my head. And once he leaves, I giggle to myself because I tend to giggle when I'm uncomfortable. This has no reason to cause me discomfort, but it does. Woe is me.

I really need to write more. I wouldn't sound anywhere near as ridiculous if these were spaced out with fillers in between over a couple week span. You're getting only meat and potatoes right now. Hope you're still bearing with me........

For Christmas I bought myself some books. I already had too many books out here, many that I haven't even read yet, but I wanted more books so I bought myself some more books. I'm greedy with books. I hope down the road when I have a house I can have a room for all of my books that I've read which I can send people into to show just how smaht I am, as everyone with a room just for their books must be pretty smucking faht.

Anyways, I bought a book called Creating Short Fiction because I wanted to get my feet wet in short story writing. You know, beginning, middle, end. Protagonist. Rising Action. Climax. Conclusion. All of that happy horseshit. Writing a good short story is one of the many things I'd like to do before I die. Things like creating a claymation stop motion movie, hike the AT, drive across country with no time table, go all Thoureau-on-steroids and grow my own food and kill chickens and rabbits and build a greenhouse and have a root cellar and make my own compost...k, that one's pretty elaborate but you get the idea. I have a lot of hair-brained ideas that I become infatuated with for a day or a week or a month and then go dormant for many months or years only to come back sporadically when I get bored and think, “Alright, what's next?!” But now I've added “write a good short story” to the list and to start I bought the book. This came in the mail a couple of days before Christmas. I didn't wait to open it. I read the introduction while I was on the toilet that evening. Know what page I'm on now” Three. Guess I've got a lot more work to do.

But this is what I mean when I haven't really been doing ANYTHING while I've not been blogging. I haven't been reading a lot. I haven't even been watching a lot of TV. I guess I've just kind of been working a lot, and at the end of most work days I haven't felt like writing. And there's always tomorrow. And like my Grandpa always said: Anything that can be put off until tomorrow can be put off until the day after tomorrow. Love you & miss you, Grandpa.

This came full circle, I think? I'll close on that. I miss Maine, too, and everyone who should be cared about there. Cheers (hopefully I'm back on track now...Shit, this was a pretty weird post..).

Give me my money back, maaaaaaan..

2011-01-22T17:00:00.000-05:00

I did my taxes yesterday. Well, my federal taxes. The ones that matter. I wasn't really sure how much I was going to get back this year, or if I was going to get any back at all for that matter so it became a good day when I got far enough into things to see I was going to get a little bit of coin back. Yay for me. It's exciting, you know, because it's my money I'm getting back.

I also discovered I did my taxes one day earlier last year than this year. I always do my taxes fairly early. It's pretty easy with turbotax. And free. If I actually had to buy turbotax I'd suck it up and do them by hand. But it's free so I don't, and I get handy little .pdf's for record keeping. YIPPEEEEEEEE.

Last year I did them early because I needed a little extra dough to line my pockets when I came out here. My tax return was, more or less, what got me started out here with first month's rent, security deposit, and incidentals like filling my belly with overpriced food and grog (I had other money, but why spend that right away.......). This was well back, when I was out here strictly to have a good time with no plan of staying for the long term (Long term being more than a couple of months..). Once the job started it took a couple more months for me to realize I was burning through money like you read about and that I needed to do a little bit of budgeting to allow myself to save a bit. Yes, I enjoy saving money. I'm a delayed gratification kind of a guy.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this savings account but it helps me sleep at night knowing I have it. Actually, recently until I actually completed my taxes this savings account didn't help me sleep; it kept me awake. A lot of my “budgets” get crafted while I'm unable to fall asleep at night. This results in me coming up with silly ideas and then rough figures to go along with the silly ideas and then these rough figures get plugged into the calculator in my phone so I can determine how things add up. Last night I had some concrete numbers so I didn't have to fudge numbers a few times to get a ballpark estimate.

Yes, I am, in fact, an anal retentive loser. But I enjoy knowing where my monies end up so I'll take the good with the bad. One in the hand is worth two in the bush and all that nonsense. Don't tell me otherwise.

I've been trying to update my resume so I can be ready to send it out if a job that interests me catches my eye but I've hit a bit of a snag. I'm finding it quite difficult to explain what I actually do for work in ways besides “I clean up dirty tables for a living.” Some one give me some advice, please.

Cheers.

More to come asap..

2011-01-22T03:34:00.000-05:00

........hopefully..................

Cheers.

Winter doldrums..

2011-01-17T14:50:00.000-05:00

Aloha. It's been quite some time. I don't even know how long. I know I've written once this month. I included quite a few words but I don't think I really said very much. That's kind of how I've been feeling lately. I've got quite a bit running running running through my head but there seems to be some broken connections between my brain and my fingers/mouth/whatever because I yet to be able to express how, exactly, I feel. Discombobulated. So, instead of writing I haven't been doing very much. I read Fight Club last week. Excellent read. I don't think that helped to clear my head as the entire storyline is about a pretty mixed up guy. I haven't had insomnia recently so I don't think I have to worry about developing a split personality just yet, which is a good thing. I recommend reading it if you're looking for a new read. It's much better than the movie, though I did enjoy the movie, too. Had I been better informed and more into reading ten years ago I would have liked to have read the book first, but that's neither here nor there now as the past cannot be changed. Down the road I'm sure I'll read more books by the author, Chuck Palahniuk, though right now I have many books in my possession I haven't yet read so I'd rather tackle those than buy more books. Eventually I'd like to read enough books I already have so I can send some back to my folks' place, but I've been saying that since I got here and it hasn't happened yet. I've traded some books when I've been back but I know there's absolutely no way all of the books I have now will fit into the bags I'll be carrying whenever I depart from here. But I'm confident things will shake out just fine whenever things actually have to shake out.

I think the new year has a way of messing with me in such a way that I get thrown into a bit of a funk. I've never really considered this before. When I was coaching the new year was daunting because it meant many, many consecutive six day work weeks as the new year brought the start of indoor meets which rolled immediately into outdoor meets. Last year I was fairly miserable around the new year because I didn't really have much of a plan for what was “next” in my life. I was living at home. It was cold and snowy. I wasn't working as the roofing season had come to a conclusion shortly after snowfall in the middle of December. Let's just say I had plenty of time to be miserable and not leave the house. I'm fairly certain this year's new year funk was a carry-over from not being home for the holidays, coupled with a little bit of an itch for a change. I'm quite happy here, but at the same time I'm getting that restless feeling and this time I'm feeling a desire to find a career path that could be for the long term. I have no idea what this could be, exactly, though I do have some potential avenues I've already discussed and others I plan to explore sometime in the not so distant future. This is by no means a rush to change, but I do feel a need to take a small step forward in the stages of change I learned so much about in my undergrad psychology classes.

This concerns the few of you still reading because I'd appreciate any input you may have for me. What, if anything, should I do next? Am I a fool for considering departing this beautiful island after barely a year? Do you know of a job that may interest me that you could help me obtain (Heh, heh..)? I'm all ears. This could be a very fleeting thought and by the end of this week I could be very well calling myself a fool for thinking this way, but at the same time I'm finding motivation right now so it certainly can't hurt to look around a bit. And, hell, I could have purchased one hundred and seventy thousand junior bacon cheeseburgers for the price of my undergraduate degree, so the least they can do is help me out in my job search, right?

Have a great start to your weeks, folks. My goal is to not lose all ambition by this afternoon. I'm out of salad so that should help things. Cheers.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2011-01-09T20:10:00.000-05:00

Oh, that was last week? Some start to the new year writing wise, huh...............

I've locked myself in my room and now I'll write. I've got no internet access in here; I can only get a signal when I'm sitting at our table in the kitchen and I don't really enjoy sitting there. The chairs aren't that comfortable. Rigid, firm. Not squishy. I don't feel like the chairs contribute to detailed writing because the whole time I'm sitting there writing all I'm thinking about is getting out of the chair and getting to sit some place more comfortable. So, generally, I open up my computer, turn it on, enter my password (yes, I password protect my computer. Old college habit, though I don't know why I did it there, either. I don't possess any classified information.), connect to the internet and then open up a new window so I can open up Blogger and then a new post. Well, this isn't entirely true. Once I open a new window I always check my mail first. Always. Then I stay logged in and check my work schedule. Always. Then I log into the facebook. Always. Then I go to ESPN and check the headlines. Most of the time. THEN I open up Blogger and click on “New Post.” I am a creature of habit. It may seem annoying but I find comfort in repetition. I always use tabs, too. Never multiple windows. Multiple windows are so 1999. Whoever came up with the code that allows for multiple tabs in the same internet browser window deserves a pat on the back and a firm handshake. Preferably at about the same time. Handshake, then pat on the back. No, firm handshake, THEN the elbow grab while the shake is going on, for emphasis, you know. Then, post-shake, an appropriate pat on the back. Not a gentle and caressing pat. Not a pre-stage Heimlich-manuver pat. Just an appropriate pat. A “You deserve a pat on the back so I'm going to give you a pat on the back, and thus the regognition you so deserve” pat. Yeah, that sounds nice.

So, yeah. I've been struggling with motivation to write. Not ideas. There's always plenty of topics, however trivial they may seem or turn out to be. I mean, shit, I haven't even written about New Years yet. It wasn't that spectacular. Worked until about ten thirty. Met J.Mac and out 4^th roommate, Curtis from Cape Cod, a little after that and drank beer on the side of the road while we attempted to hitch hike to a party. Shortly after midnight we succeeded in procuring a ride up the hill “(Well, two rides, but they were pretty close together so it counts as one ride, I think. Went to a pretty silly party that was going strong when we got in. Lot of house music. Kind of a weird scene. Curtis described it as a “weird, like silly, like gay ecstasy party.” Homophobic slurs aside, it was a pretty goofy scene where, presumably, quite a few people were rolling. It was a house party with 30 or 40 guests, a DJ complete with light show, smoke machine, and video, and no sign of the owner of the house anywhere to be found. And a guy dressed like the bunny from Donnie Darko and another guy that had on a light up t-shirt with LCD lights in the shape of the MTV logo, only his shirt actually said Mr. DJ or something stupid and he had on a teletubby head. Yeah, needless to say we didn't have the right drugs to really settle into that scene so we walked back down the hill after a little bit of time passed and caught a ride home. Happy New Year, indeed.

However, the house party, when the drugs and the DJ and everything expensive was removed, did kind of remind me a little bit of some of the parties that used to develop at Camp's house. There would be a whole gaggle from many walks of life who all ended up there because, well, sometimes there's only one party in town and that party usually formulated itself at Camp's house. With Nate Dogg on the CD player. Always Nate Dogg, always Music & Me, always played at least six times over the course of the night. “Ring the Alarm” will always put a smile on my face for this particular reason, and will always remain on my iPod just for that particular reason. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SONG ALL NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

No one at the time really knew the words. Some nights it was "Bring Me Along." Other nights it was "Leave Me Alone." Then again, maybe it was just the booze talking. Ah, memories.

Speaking of iPod it's becoming more and more difficult to squeeze more music on there. Most nights I'll listen to my entire iTunes library on random, which is fairly extensive, and see where things end up. Once I find something I'm into for that particular evening I usually take it off random and just continue listening, but usually after this I remember how good something was and then want to hear more. Thus, it needs to find a way on my iPod. I've only got a 4gig nano (This last phrase sounded incredibly ridiculous to me as I wrote it because if someone told me ten years ago I'd be able to walk around with just about 1000 songs in my pocket I would have laughed in their face. But ten years later 1000 songs is tiny and I've become conditioned to MORE MORE MORE. They make players the size of fingernail clippers that hold 1000 songs. Nuttiness..) so while 1000 songs is quite a bit of music I enjoy having whole albums within an ear's reach, not just a song or two. Adding a song is easy, but finding an hour's worth of songs, or axing a whole album already on there causes me quite a bit of mental distress. I pride myself on keeping a diverse and polished iPod library and I enjoy EVERYTHING I keep on my iPod. There's a time and a place for everything so it's quite a challenge balancing my whims and interests of today with what I may be feeling tomorrow. And, really, everything that's been on my iPod for awhile started as a recently added, heavily debated item. Some albums are old, comfortable choices I've been listening to for years and will stay on because I enjoy sleeping to or running and/or riding to. Newbies need to find their niche. Yes, I do put this much thought into things. Today I wanted to add The Downward Spiral (I'm on a NIN kick, sue me..) so I removed ten (or so..) random country songs to start THEN subbed out my Beatles 1967-70 collection for Sgt. Peppers, Magical Mystery Tour, The Downward Spiral, and three random tracks (two Beatles, one NIN). I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, I really enjoy the 28 song Beatles two disc collection, but we'll see how it goes for the next couple days. And yes, this decision took me well over an hour to formulate. Good thing I have most the day off.

I suppose people could say I've been kind of selfish by taking some time for myself to start the new year. Until yesterday I didn't use my phone very much all week. Then yesterday not many folks were around when I attempted to return phone calls so I feel like I've been beaten at my own game of phone call screening and non-replied to texts. Karma is a motherfucker. If you were someone I didn't respond to and then you didn't respond to me let me be first to apologize and say we're even.

That'll have to do for today. Welcome back, me. Cheers.

Le tired..

2010-12-30T14:43:00.000-05:00

This doesn't happen a lot but last night I got home from work a little late, a little tired, and went to sleep. Just seconds later, it seemed, my alarm went off and it was morning. No dreams, no nothing. Just a groggy, morning wake up. I was none to pleased about this. I don't remember my dreams too often but I do know most nights laying down for seven hours doesn't feel like seven seconds. This could be a long day..

The year's almost over! I don't know why that seems crazy today, but it DOES! IF YOU'VE GOT ANYTHING LEFT YOU WANTED TO DO THIS YEAR, YOU SHOULD DO IT ASAP. Cheers.

It was a celebration, bitches..

2010-12-29T14:22:00.000-05:00

The Christmas holiday has come and gone. While I would have much rather been at home with family and old friends, my Christmas here was a pretty special experience. One of my roommates, Louis, decided to cook a ham for Christmas dinner so around 3pm we had a family dinner of ham, mashed taters and corn. TASTY. Following this the four of us ventured out of the house in the early evening to attend another dinner, this time at the home of a co-worker. The house was absolutely gorgeous and easily made its way into my relatively arbitrary “Top Ten Houses I've Ever Entered,” as it was a well-apportioned spread high in some pineapple fields, overlooking the beautiful West Maui coastline. I didn't take any pictures because I figured that would have looked amateur so you'll just have to take my word that this was a baller house. It's the kind of house you'd expect the VP of TS Restaurants (TS owns the restaurant that's on my paycheck..) to have, as we happened to be at the house of the VP of TS Restaurants. Small world, eh? Again, clearly, it's not what you know, but who.

How we ended up at this particular house, the Moon house, to be a bit more specific, is a somewhat long and silly story but to sum the Moon household consists of Papa Moon, Mama Moon, and Miss Moon. Miss Moon works at Hula, as well, “(As the TS Family tends to be, literally, the TS family..) and we've become somewhat social through various work-related circumstances. Also, one of our good friends from Hula is close friends with the family, and his dad actually rents a smaller house on this family's property.

At any rate we get invited to the Moon house to have the pleasure of dining with the Moons and some other of their close family friends. Jon and I bonded with one gentleman, the father of one of Miss Moon's best friends, as we talked about Maine and he shared a story of an acid trip he went on while on top of Cadillac Mountain. It sounded downright fantastic, but I digress.

The party totaled twelve and after dinner the wine continued to flow until seven twenty-somethings and the Moon parents remained. At this point we were all socializing outside so, for whatever reason, Mr. Moon tosses about twenty golf balls onto the lawn and a driver emerges. Don't threaten me with a good time, right?

It's safe to say everyone took their fair share of whacks over the next half hour or so and well over a hundred balls ended up piercing the darkness on their (mostly..) airborne rides into the pineapple fields. After a solid slice to kick things off I found my groove easily. I felt like holes 19-27 of a thirty six hole day, when I've had enough beers to finally loosen up and shake the rust off. Or like holes 8-13 of a scramble when the drink goes down at a much more rapid rate so I can find my swing sooner. But, in either case I tend to continue down a sudsy road even once I find my groove so my game steadily regresses from this optimal golfing state. God damn alcohol and it's negative effects. Luckily for me I didn't quite reach that stage Christmas night, so Mr. Moon was pretty impressed with my swing as I was the big hitter of the group. Mr. Moon has a hell of a consistent swing, so whether just the wine talking or not I've chosen to take his kind words as a compliment.

The Moon's were so warm, welcoming, and inviting that, while making me feel incredibly happy to be allowed entry into their Christmas traditions, as I took stock well into the evening of what I was a part of I became quite bummed because it reminded me so much of summer holiday gatherings on the Capone deck, chock full of good food and drink for virtually all comers. Though, in the spirit of Christmas this party didn't turn into the debaucherous train wreck that more than one of the Capone social gatherings have turned into over the years. Ah, memories..

More or less, selflessness and generosity are desirable traits whether you make $20K, $200K, or $2000K. Spread the like.

Cheers.

Intensity in ten cities..

2010-12-27T14:56:00.000-05:00

It's Monday. Get to it. Cheers.

Pretty happy about this..

2010-12-25T00:42:00.000-05:00

Earlier today when I posted the Mule clip all I had really wanted to put up was the album version of "Banks of the Deep End" but youtube did not cooperate. From there I performed a little google search to see how to embed .mp3's to Blogger but that cam up relatively unsuccessfully because all I could really find was using Windows Movie Maker to add a picture with a song and upload it as a movie. I did not have Windows Movie maker so, in the spirit of Kevin McCallister, I gave it a whirl and downloaded it because it was free and I figured it would be super simple to pop up a picture of Warren Haynes from Bonnaroo and bing bang boom I could sub out the video up now with a new simple clip. But when I popped open my 'Roo folder I saw all the good pictures I had taken and Nick had taken and KathV had taken I thought, "Well, shit. I might as use some of the good ones of us."

Outside of seeing Grace Potter on some serious PED's the 1a highlight of my trip was hearing this song live. I don't know why, I'm just into the song. So, I present to you ten days of debauchery set to probably my favorite song. Hold on to a piece of dry land..

This made me smile. Miss you, friends. I'd like to say I'm sorry for not including other good friends and family who didn't make the trip, but, if you weren't there you can't really understand, man..

Happy Christmas to all you "Christians" out there and sorry to my Jew friends I didn't give you folks a shout out for your eight crazy nights of Hanukkah. I'll do better next year.

--

I'm just seeing today that my counter has malfunctioned. I'm not stressing it but I'll look into some soluations before the new year Today I exited the information superhighway on MyYellowNotepad and found my hits under 40. Just now it was under 8000. Not to be self conscious, but I know earlier in December I was well (WELL!!!!!!!!!!) over 16,000 hits. No big deal..

I know about six of you out there tune in on the regular. You're [each] the best...Cheers.

On Christmases, and other musings..

2010-12-24T14:48:00.000-05:00

A Little Christmas in your Heart..

I've been listening to Gov't Mule and I have to say that it had been awhile since I last listened. Can't put a finger on why I stopped, probably just to diversify a little bit, but for whatever reason I cracked open a little bit of “Banks of the Deep End” about three hours ago and this Mule train hasn't slowed a bit. I've also wanted to write quite a bit but, again, for whatever reason I haven't put fingers to keys or pencil to paper for quite some time, either [Ed's Note: “Quite some time” for writing is more than a few days. “Quite some time” between Mule sessions is more than a couple of weeks. In case you were wondering..]

I think it's because I've kind of been muddling over some heavy shit for the past week or so. I finally realized Christmas is here and I wouldn't be back in town, some other stuff that comes up from time to time, just random tangented thoughts that have been somewhat tangled and clustered and far more personal than I usually delve into on here. The 'Pad is about fun, right? Not lame ass bullshit. At least that's my take. The only lame shit I bring up is goofy shit that happened to me that I can spin in a self-deprecating manner. Mopey Matt doesn't make for good 'Pad stories. So it goes; I'm somewhat over it as there's nothing I can do about it now except for deciding I'll be sleeping in close proximity to 48 Smith Street a year from now.

It's just kind of silly to me that I've found a way to not make it home for Christmas after I'd never been away from home for more than ten days or so up until this year. And I never planned to skip Christmas ; just between coming home in July and October it would have been hard to justify another vacation six weeks after my last vacation. So, shucks and we'll fix it next year. I know the gang was at Samm-o's Thursday night and whoever wasn't there was sucking'em up at Gipper's after 9pm. Thinking of both of those places did put a little frown on my face. I like me some Gipper's and I like em some Fletcher basement beer pong. Together we might have had a perfect storm of lighthearted, festive debauchery. And from the sounds of things no one was overly beligerent at Samm-o's, so my presence was clearly missed. Last year I don't remember being at Samm-o's; I misplaced time for a couple of hours and those hours still haven't turned up. That was back when I was young and foolish – I'm older now...

Small sidenote here. I just want to give a quick random shout-out and name drop that I should have done right after I left town in October. A couple of nights before I was heading back out, it was Friday, I believe, I'm at Gipper's with my old boss Mr. Haggerty and a couple other folks and One of the owners, Tom Fournier, comes in for some dinner. We each wave hello, as he knows my pops from way back when, as his son played him some fooseball under the guidance of Skip. But just a couple of minutes later he waves me over, saying he's got to talk to me about something. Let's just say I'm not always the most sober person in the crowd when I partake in Rollback Thursdays so I'm fairly certain he's about to bust my balls for getting nutty. Nothing of the sort! Tom Fournier is an avid 'Pad reader. So, Tom. In the spirit of the holidays I wish you a very Merry Christmas and I thank you for your continued support of the 'Pad. In the past I've done my best to publicize my patronage of L/A's best sportsbar, in fact I spent some of my 21^st birthday at Gipper's (I had drank close to a fifth of Jack prior to arriving so I ordered a beer, walked back outside and passed out in the parking lot...but the effort was there.........).

With that, I enjoy knowing who reads. So, say hello sometime. Let me know what you like of my material and what you think sucks. But if you think anything I post sucks you can piss up a rope. THIS IS FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT ONLY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Oh, and Gov't Mule kicks some serious tail. Don't forget that, either.

–

But in all seriousness it still doesn't really feel like Christmas. It's not the lack of cold or snow or a tree or decorations or any of those physical sorts of things, it's just my close friends and family are all 5000 miles away, for the most part. I've met plenty of cool people, I live with cool people, but, shit, it's just not the same. I can't bust my mom's chops for listening to shitty Christmas albums “just so she can say she's listened to them all this year” or my pops for opening his presents while someone else is opening one. He's selfish and greedy, really. Or getting on Krysta's nerves, well, just because it's easy and I'm a jerk. Then knowing you don't have to talk to anyone Christmas night because we're all going to end up at Gipper's anyway by six or seven and then trek to the Goose for the best Christmas party in the world. So, I know it's early, but can someone please play some Temple of the Dog on the jukebox and then sit up on top of the booths while it's playing, smiling down on the couple hundred folks packed in tight to wait a half hour in between beers because no one can move. I can't think of a better way to spend Christmas.

To those who I love: I love and miss you. To those that I miss: I miss you. To everyone else: Merry Christmas and thanks for reading.

And to all: The airport code is OGG. Just let me know the day and time you land.

–

I've been sick-ish for about a week and a half now. I say sick-ish because I'm definitely sick but I'm continually telling myself I'm not sick while trying to blame my symptoms on other contributing factors. For instance, all of this week has been super voggy. Vog is volcanic fog that I'm sure isn't exactly healthy for you. When the winds are right (or wrong, is more like it..) they blow over from the Big Island and it's super hazy and humid and it can get a little difficult to breathe. More or less, it sucks. So the vog has definitely been making me feel worse than just your standard cough due to a cold but at the same time I still don't feel that bad. My nose drips, I have a hacking cough and one of my ears has been plugged up for the last four days or so...but I'm not really sweating over it. I'll get better, right? I've been self-medicating with Wild Turkey, Steve-weiser, and plenty of salad. I can't for the life of me figure out why I'm not back to 100% yet. Wednesday night I smoked my first cigarette since July. I'm a bad person. Peer pressure is a motherfucker and those cancer sticks are just so darned tasty sometimes I need to have them. I'm not addicted...I'm not addicted..

No, I'm not addicted. They're just tasty treats sometimes.

Back to the cold. I know some of the reason I'm not super bummed about getting a cold is because it's still pretty gorgeous out every day. I'm not stuck in stale, office air all day. I sleep with my windows open. The poison has plenty of opportunity to drift away so I don't feel like I'm swimming in my own filth while I'm sick. I'd still prefer to not be snuffly, so hopefully two days off for the holiday will turn my mini-frown upside down..

–

It appears I've developed a pretty serious personality as the guy who rides his bike all the time without a shirt on. I have a rear rack ad bungee cord so I bungee my book and a t-shirt onto the back of my bike wherever I go, then if I need to wear a shirt I'll have the shirt to throw on. Then, when I head back up north I usually just ride shirtless again, even at night because it's still warm enough for me to work up a sweat so why would I wear a shirt for fifteen minutes just to take it off when I get home because I'm sweaty? I'd be left with a dirty shirt EVERY day. Talk about waste?!?! So I ride shirtless. It's pretty badass. I'm pretty badass. No big deal, ladies and gents.

It just funny that multiple people have come up and used “I know I see you riding your bike all the time, but I don't exactly know you” as an opener. It's gotta be the 'stache. Fear the 'stache. Finally, it's starting to get a little ridiculous. I think it may finally be time to locate some wax. Wax would kick the flair factor up at least another notch (From “WOOO” to “WOOOOOO..” I know eventually I'm not going to be able to go much higher. One of the bartenders thinks my look now is the spitting image of John Bonham, drummer for Led Zep. So, I've got that going for me, too. You've still got to wonder what people think when they see goofy-ass me, though, right? If I wasn't me I don't know what I'd think if I saw me. Hell, I am me and sometimes I see myself in the mirror and crack up. That's because I'm in on the joke. It's a GOOD one.

–

Thursday morning some landscapper folks came and trimmed up the palm trees right in front of our door. Now we've got a killer view of the ocean. Even more killer than we had before. One of the guys cutting down the palms was standing outside of our door and said: “Holy shit. Look at this fucking place. View of the ocean and Barbe's? That's fucking perfect.” If it's good enough for seedy landscapers then it's good enough for me. I'll leave you with this. I'm running out of steam. I don't work Friday so I wasn't concerned about staying up until all hours of the night, because if I get tired during a day off I can just take a nap. This brain dump was worth staying up until 2:30am for. And the Mule train is still going strong. In case I don't get anything else up before Saturday I hope you all have a holly, jolly Christmas. It's the best time of the year. Say hello to friends you know, and have a cup of cheer.

And in case you didn't hear:

O, by golly, have a holly, jolly Christmas this year, indeed. Cheers.

Yeah, maaaaaaaan..

2010-12-14T05:55:00.001-05:00

Cheers.

F-ing ATM's..

2010-12-13T14:28:00.000-05:00

I went to the cash machine last night to withdraw some US currency so I could by a little salad and, wouldn't you know it, I left my card in the machine. It was one of those old, bootleg machines where the card slot and receipt slots are no where near one another and the card doesn't get spit back out until AFTER the receipt. That seems pretty back-assward, if you ask me. PLUS almost all of the machines have gone to swipes so I always have my card re-elastized before I even enter my personal identification number. F me, man. I was at the cash machine attached to the bank so I hope, so long as no one took it out of the machine, that the machine ate the card and I'll be able to get it back tomorrow morning. I need to go to the bank to deposit some checks so it shouldn't be too much of an inconvenience. But, F, man. Not too impressed with myself right now.

I didn't realize I had left my card in the machine until Sunday afternoon when I was attempting to pay for a late breakfast. Bollocks. There were intentions of this post being longer yesterday but I got sidetracked and now I need to head to the bank so I can allow myself ample time to pedal to work. Sue me. Cheers.

2010-12-10T14:36:00.002-05:00

My freshman year in high school I played basketball on the freshman team and we ran train on just about every team we played. Somehow I managed to start my fair share of games and we'd run the same play to start every game and I'd always get the ball under the basket and lay it in. Well, shoot it from close range and have it go in. I could sky back then but my 5'8” wasn't getting up over the rim far enough to lay it in. But I averaged about 2.5 points per game that year. Not too shabby if you ask me.

I thought of this because I was listening to some profane songs on iTunes and I remembered back to freshman year, before internet downloading caught on, and I made our froshy warmup mix by placing a cd player next to a cassette recorder and dubbing the CD track onto the cassette while muting any time a profane word occurred. I'm pretty sure I got some “Ruff Ryder's Anthem” on there too, which is pretty impressive in hindsight considering the plethora of N- and F-words DMX throws around on that particular track. I know a couple of them I had the bunk-ass clean mix, from singles or random CD's, but for the most part the warmup tape was the result of my quick fingers. I know we had “Ain't Nothin' But A G Thang” on there. We were pretty badass for fourteen and fifteen year olds.

For my new position as a food runner I'm required to know ingredient lists for every item on the menu. Not gonna bullshit you: right now I don't even know what some of the dishes we serve look like. This could get pretty silly pretty quickly. I bought some flash cards though so I'm sure manage. Right now one of my tests is scheduled for the morning following our company Christmas Party. I've got three words for that test: NO. FUCKING. WAY. That shit's getting bumped ASAP tomorrow AM, and we'll leave it at that.

I guess out here there's no PC police because it's not called the “Holiday Party” or any of that shit. Like, “Yeah, it's a holiday party. I know Hanukkah happened two weeks ago. We only put it right before Christmas because that's when it's most convenient for everyone.” Ya.......no. But pretty excited to get hammered drunk on the company's dime. Should be A-OK.

I probably should have been studying menu items last night but all I could do was play solitaire. IT'S LIKE COLLEGE ALL OVER AGAIN. Cheers.

[Yet another..] Glimpse into my awkward life..

2010-12-05T16:44:00.000-05:00

This has been an odd week. I'm not sure as though it was necessarily a great week, yet at the same time I wouldn't go so far as to call it a bad week. Just more or less odd. I've spent a few down minutes during the days and in the evenings attempting to make sense of how things actually got to where they did and then transpired in the manners in which they did and as I pause to reflect about all I can really say is things are just silly sometimes.

I had a female visitor this week not named Jenny or KathV who came to the island for the week and we didn't sleep together. The fact I didn't get laid didn't bother me particularly; as a twenty six year old male I'll more or less take any hide the carrot opportunities that arise these days but I don't lose sleep when things don't go my way in this particular department. This wasn't anyone who I had crush-ed or sweat-ed on or was interested in encountering on a more intimate level as a potential “one” or any of that idealized, romanticized b.s. which quite a bit of my younger days [read: wait that still happens, just not in this particular instance so let's move on..] were spent hemming and hawing over.

Tuesday evening after dinner prior to sleepytime I offered space in my bed. She chose the couch. That was the end of my effort for the week. Call me a gentleman in that respect. A boyfriend was mentioned beforehand. I didn't detect seriousness but I didn't inquire deeply and that sneaky shit has never really jived with me so the lack of action has undoubtedly provided me with less discontent now than I would be feeling had I fornicated with some guy's girlfriend, no matter the circumstance. Karma's comes around in unpredictable ways and I don't need to be worrying about any of that malarkey biting me in the ass anywhere down the line.

I suppose my growing aloha spirit allowed me to be selfless and permit travels to the island with more or less nothing in return besides an opportunity to play tour guide around what is commonly referred to as one of the most beautiful places on Earth. If this doesn't prove that I'm a nice guy – a gentleman – than I don't know what does.

[From here I wrote another page and a half that was actually going to break down more of the week's events that provided me to think to myself, “This is just downright odd and unlike anything I'd do (or generally any person I more-or-less associate with, for that matter..), especially while I'm on vacation, and I'm quite certain I'm not the only one who would find this odd, too..” but I don't really think there's any way I could elaborate on even one instance and my thought process which followed without the strong likelihood of sounding like a pretty big asshole or insensitive in some way and today I don't feel much like walking down that road. I've grown tired of slippery slopes. But as I am generally in the habit of pseudonyming (yep, just conjured up this term. I think it works..) the names of random folks who may not wish to be included on the 'Pad I bid Shirley safe travels back east and good luck with whatever work comes on Monday and, presumably, every Monday thereafter. Hope you enjoyed your time here immensely.]

I clipped my fingernails today but once I left the house I realized that I should have clipped my toenails, too. This wasn't a big deal but the nails on both of my big toes had pretty legit chips in them from a hike I went on a couple of days ago. So, in actuality, I should have clipped my toenails a couple of days ago but I put it off when I got home because I don't like to clip my nails right after I get out of the shower because sometimes when they're soft from the water I trim a little too much and then I have sore toes or fingers (DIGITS!) and that doesn't leave me with a smile: it leaves me with a frown. At present I still haven't clipped my toe nails. I hiked on Thursday. It's been a busy week........

The aforementioned hike was the Bamboo Forest hike I've gone on a couple of times (and posted pictures of..) well back in the day. March, maybe April. It's on the east side of the island and it's gorgeous. On the walk up (Ya, it's a walk, not really a hike. It takes about an hour to go in and an hour to go back. This isn't really the kind of training I need for a potential AT thru-hike, but you can't beat the scenery so I just go with it..) you pass three waterfalls along a river and then you hop in the river and swim about 100 yards upstream and climb some rocks to get to about a 70 footer. This time around the top fall was just a trickle but it never ceases to strike me with awe. SAY YES TO THE NATURAL SUBLIME...IT WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE ON THURSDAY.

Prior to this hike we cruised the West Maui mountains. I enjoy this drive a little more than the drive out to Hana for a couple of reasons:

It's closer, and I don't really enjoy driving much.
I think the West Maui drive is more gnarly than the road to Hana.

Hana's longer so there are more one lane bridges and the like but I really think the West Maui drive has far more truly sketchy places. You're on cliff's edge a lot more, there's a greater chance of encountering fallen rocks in the road, it's less traveled. You're right on the oceanside, at times looking down hundreds (maybe even thousdands, the West Maui's peak over 6,000 so there are times you're way the f up there just skirting the shoreline..) of feet to the ocean below. It's just cooler. And that got the day started! BIG DAY ALREADY, WATCH OUT.

Then, AFTER the hike we drove up Haleakela, a 10,000ft “dormant” volcano. There was actually a little earthquake a couple of days before Thanksgiving that I forgot to mentioned because I didn't actually notice it but apparently shit shook at the restaurant and shit shook at the apartment. It was determined to be a 4.3. When this sucker pops again it's going to be CRAZY, but I don't anticipate being here when it does. I'll activate my car's wings and fly away. Yeah...I don't have a car. Guess it better not pop soon.

ANYWAYS we made it up to the top just a few minutes before sunset so it was absolutely nutty watching the sun set over the clouds. It felt like I was in a plane, only the plane was all glass and I wasn't cramped or angry about being on the plane. But yeah, I found the views to be breathtaking and as usual I'm quite certain my pictures did in no way, shape, or form do it justice. You could see the Big Island from up there. Yeah, it's big and all but it's also far away. That was pretty wild.

It was also cold as balls on top, as you're standing 10,000 feet above sea level and I guess that does something to bring the temperature down when the sun isn't directly overhead. We brought sweatshirts but we all had shorts on. It felt like being back in Maine in a way so I may investigate getting back to the top on Christmas Day. If I can't have a white Christmas I may just have to take an quasi-uncomfortably cold one, at least for a small portion of the day. Much like in Maine, my feet weren't cold. Maybe I have magic feet but neither one seems to mind sandals in the cold. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Now I can more or less say I've seen “everything” on the island. I wasn't in any sort of rush to drive up to the top because I had toyed a little while back with walking up a trail on the backside that starts at sea level and goes to 9000 ft, then down into the crater and meets another network of trails that gets you to the top. It would have been a pretty solid day hike but it also would have involved things like planning so I took the easy way out. In this instance I found the easy way to be worth it, to the point I can't imagine how crazy I would have felt walking up it and then seeing that view for the first time. I probably would have been more silly than the double rainbow guy. But, I didn't walk so I guess we'll never know. I'll have to settle with hiking Everest now. Cheers.

Faux-riginal..?

2010-12-02T06:04:00.000-05:00

I just had a pretty tremendous transition on my iTunes random play. I was only planning to listen to a little bit of Gin N Juice from the Snoop D O Double Gizzle but when that particular track ended I was pleasantly surprised with some Live Era Guns N Roses “Sweet Child O Mine.” Oh, baby. You know I like me some GNR most all of the time. So I got me some GNR at that particular time. THEN, the party continued to Alice in Chains' unplugged “Heaven Beside You.” I've got close to 18,000 songs in my library (within 300, not 3000, so it's close enough..) and music for days “(over fifty, actually, according to the neat little feature at the bottom of the window..) so it's nice to know that every now and again iTunes comes through and doesn't just throw out lame tracks when I'm on the random library shuffle. It hit some good, good tracks and that put a smile on my face. Nice evening, I suppose.

Today is pay day. Pay days are nice. I'm training for a new position at the restaurant next week so I won't be able to work as many shifts for the next couple weeks as I usually do while I go through the training to be a food runner. When training I do not get tipped out, eight of my shifts over the next two weeks will be for $7.25 an hour. YIKES! TIC-TACS IN STOCKINGS FOR EVERYONE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

But yeah, food running. This means that from time to time instead of wiping down dirty tables I will be delivering food to hungry patrons. This means more direct interaction with customers, which I'm not entirely thrilled about but I guess I'll deal. Right now I can go amongst my tasks in relative obscurity and on days when I don't feel like talking to people (read: most every day..) I just, well, don't. I put my sunglasses on and stare straight ahead.

To food run I'm require to pass a test on the menu. Ingredient lists, cooking methods, etc. I've got a 20 page packet I need to memorize for a 200+ question test. I feel like I'm back in college (well, middle school..) and I'm not happy about it. I went to the local office supply store and bought index cards to make flash cards for all the menu items and dressings and aoilis and other random junk we serve. If I actually go through with making flash cards this could be the most effort I've put into studying for anything in my entire life. This is not an exaggeration: I've never made flash cards before in my life. I've never done more than transcribe jumbled notes into more concise notes, often because of insider info on likely test questions. It will be cool to know what's in everything. I'll certainly be able to bug the shit out of a lot of people with this rather useless knowledge. And let me tell you: I tend to jump at any opportunity I have to add to my collection of useless knowledge.

–

Have you ever seen something and been like, “Fuck, that's such a good idea how had I never thought of that before?” Not like half the shit on the infomercials only on a smaller scale, something that probably won't make you a millionaire. I won't be saying, “Sham wow” any time soon. But a friend of mine has a facebook album (she's a real friend, though. Not just a facebook friend.) that she titled “3 6 5” and it contains a new picture every day. I just found this pretty cool and when I saw it awhile ago I found myself saying “Fuck, that's such a good idea how had I never thought of that before?”

It's not anything I'm thinking of adding to the 'Pad or stealing (facebook albums do absolutely nothing for me.) because, I don't know, I try to keep things original. But at the same time, what's really original, you know? Most everything that we do is the result of learned behavior, right? Even if we're making an independent decision very few decisions in life, if any at all, are true coin flips, right? I'm not talking about walking down the street and getting hit from behind by a car but just on a day-to-day, week-to-week, year-to-year, decade-to-decade, over the course of a lifetime can you ever actually say you had a totally original thought or action that wasn't prompted positively or negatively by something else, or a multitude of factors that occurred previous to this particular "original thought?" I don't really think of myself as having a deterministic worldview but at what point will nothing be original? Are we already there yet? Is building a faster microprocessor really anything "new and original," or is it just now a slight improvement over an already created process? Will we ever reach a time when EVERYTHING has already been written down, and thoughts must regularly be footnoted?

Where the hell am I going with this? I don't know and I only had three beers six hours ago.

I know I'm not the first to think this, so even this isn't an original thought. GASP! Think about that as you go about your Thursdays...Cheers (I was going somewhere with this but lost my steam. Then tried to revise and add and just made it worse. Premature idea evacuation. Sorry..).

Words will come soon, I promise..

2010-11-30T05:16:00.002-05:00

Cheers.

Cripes..

2010-11-23T03:31:00.000-05:00

Today I wanted to do some laundry after work. So once I finished my shift I changed and left my clothes in my locker as I usually do before I went upstairs to eat my free meal. Today I chose a delightful cheeseburger and I threw some mango barbecue sauce on it. HOOOOOO WEEEEEEE. But in the hoopla of all of that delicious dinner I forgot my clothes in my locker downstairs and just pedaled home. Sonofabitch. The kicker was I NEEDED to do laundry today: my shit stank. It was already a couple of days overdue so I really wasn't comfortable stretching any longer. I only like to do laundry on day shift days or days I have off, because I don't like to do laundry late in the evening when I generally just want to go to sleep and I always feel like a dick that the washing machine and/or dryer may be keeping someone awake, and I also don't want to put the pressure on and have to get up in the morning to wash my gear before work. So where I got home around seven I just hopped back on my two wheeler and cruised back down to Hula in back. A little extra exercise has never hurt anyone but at the same time that shit took damn near 45 minutes. Walk outside. Unlock bike. Get music situated. Ride. Get to Hula. Lock up bike. Walk to get stank ass clothes. Get stank ass clothes. Walk to bike. Unlock bike. Pedal home. Lock bike back up. Jeeze. It's a tough life I lead.

--

It's been a full moon out here which I think means it's a full moon damn near everywhere but I enjoy riding quite a bit once the moon has come up high. Saturday and Sunday nights I worked late so I was rolling home around eleven and the moon was super high and super bright and I could see the neighboring island of Molokai quite clearly. It was pretty impressive with the waves rolling in and whatnot. Was a pretty good treat. Then tonight when I rolled home the first time around seven it was dark as shit, but when I was rolling the second time, from a little after eight until about 9, it was getting brighter and brighter as the moon got higher and higher. So while the need for a second ride irritated me, the view was much better the second time around. So, lucky me?

--

NASCAR's Sprint Cup season came to a close this past Sunday with Jimmie Johnson winning his fifth consecutive title. Sam Thomas is a big #48 fan. Well, claims to be. I bet his sorry ass didn't watch more than one race all year long. And the guy is from Virginia. Note to SThomas: You're a jerk. SMOKE in '11 BABAYYYYYYYYY.

But on the NASCAR front here's a video of Daytona being repaved. It's more or less like paving a regular road except the whole track is banked so the equipment has to be hung on the correct angles by cranes and other serious machinery. It's pretty damn technical for some shit ass, redneck sport.

Excuse me while I crack open a tall, cool Budweiser to honor of this display of hillbilly ingenuity. Cheers (This surface lasted fifty years and then they tore up and repaved it in nineteen weeks. Private project vs public project, much? Fuck you, government. Take a god damn note and stop wasting my tax dollars with slow ass crews. All the government should be doing is paving roads and protecting our borders, anyway. GET YOUR GUNS READY, FOLKS. THE END IS NEAR!!!!!! K, I got carried away [Takes deep breath. "Three two one. One two three. What the heck is bothering me?" Ah, good. Let's proceed]...but I still thought the timeline compared to the scale of the project was impressive..).

Joke in the form of a question..

2010-11-22T05:46:00.000-05:00

How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? Click to continue and you will receive the answer to the question..
YOU DON'T KNOW!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!

This made me laugh tonight at work. Have great Mondays all around. Cheers.

Throwback..

2010-11-21T15:02:00.000-05:00

Well, I was going to throw it back. Then I came across this:

Enjoy your Sundays, folks. Cheers.

I guess there are some things you just don't skimp on..

2010-11-17T05:49:00.000-05:00

I eat peanut butter sangwiches a lot (We've been over this before. Open faced, one side peanut butter, one side jelly or jam or fluff. Then folded together. I call it a bullet. It tastes just like it smells: DELICIOUS..). I never skimp on peanut butter. It's always a name brand, generally with Jif being my favorite. I wait until it goes on sale and then I scoop a couple and go from there. It's especially nice when it's two for three dollars, but I'll take two for $4 in a pinch when I need that shit, maaaaaaan. Today Smucker's strawberry jam was on sale - the first time I've seen a big jar of Smucker's on sale since I've been out here. So I picked up one and finally got around to making a sangwich bullet just right now.

I may never go back. This stuff is incredible. It's so much goddam better than the generic strawberry preserves crap I've been buying since I got out here. The sale ends tomorrow so I'm headed back in the AM to get another two or three big jars. I mean, my mind is blown right now. It is SO. DAMN. GOOD. I can't believe I had been selling my peanut butter sangwiches short for this long. Yes, a lot of it had to do with price but now I'm nervous I may never go back. Today I was shooting the shit with one of our bartenders before I started to work and he had just recently gotten back from Japan and he was talking about the Kobe beef they serve and how it's kind of ruined steak for him since he's been back. Hula has a steak special once a week that's a 24oz. dry aged rib eye, a cowboy steak, if you will. I've had it and he asked my opinion as I've had it before a little while back and he was going to try it for the first time tonight and I told him it was pretty good. That immediately ruined it for him. I haven't heard his verdict but he was going into things a bit sourly. He wanted me to say GREAT. But it wasn't great; it was pretty good. It's listed at $40 or something like that so for a $40 steak I thought it was pretty good. For the $20 I paid for it I suppose it was a delicious and tasty steak. Close to great. But I'm sure it's no Kobe. I'd like to say it wasn't up to Mac's snuff, either, but that could just be me being a homer. When I was home my folks and I got some take out and we got some kind of "bullet" or "bb's" appetizer that was tip steak wrapped in bacon. Let me tell you: they were tremendous. Bacon makes everything about 1000000% better. I bet if you took some doggie poo poo and wrapped it in bacon it would at least be palatable. Sloat: try this out and let me know your thoughts.

ANYWAYS now that I've refreshed the Smucker's taste buds I'm not sure if my peanut butter sangwiches will ever match up to today's without Smucker's on the right side, playing STRONG SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to the peanut butter's LEFT SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I'm just overcooking my own grits here. Shit, who am I kidding, I'll still buy whatever's cheapest when all my jars of Smucker's are gone.

When I was smaller and younger we'd pick fruits and then make our own strawberry, blueberry and raspberry jams or jellies or whatever. I know there's a distinction between jams, jellies, and preserves but I don't recall now what the hell the differences are. I think it has to do with texture and straining or something or that nature. Marmalade, too. But we never made marmalade so that's a whole separate can of words. But I'd always try to add extra sugar to the recipes. I think all kids do that. When I'd make Kool-Aid I'd sugar the shit out of it. It was like Fun Dip at the bottom of your glass. Ah, memories. Cheers "(and time for another delicious peanut butter and jam sangwich before bed!!!!!).

Kindergarten throwback..

2010-11-16T15:35:00.000-05:00

I was logged into facebook a couple of days ago and I happened to see someone had their profile picture as David the Gnome riding on the back of his friend Fox (or whatever that particular fox was named on the show; I don't recall it..) and I was brought back to five year old me, still picking my nose and peeing my pants every now and again (I guess old habits die hard..) but ALWAYS watching David the Gnome on Nickelodeon. This was classic children's television at it's finest. And Tom Bosely as David? What the shit? That let's you know it was ahead of it's time.

Sad to say, as I was watching this video right before posting I still remembered half the words. I don't think I've seen the show in well over fifteen years and the last time I heard the theme was probably early on in high school when I was trying to appear clever by downloading the song in Sloat's basement.

After today, however, we'll all be able to remember the last time we watched an episode:

I googled "the gnome" as that's the title of the book the show is based on as I finished up Watership Down a couple of weeks ago and I thought another tale of little woodland creatures may prove interesting. No book came up immediately so I clicked on David the Gnome's wiki page and learned that this is actually a spanish show dubbed into english. I think that makes it even better though I'm not sure why.

Good to see the Spaniards were pioneers in the children's television industry in the 80's. Muy Bueno! Cheers "(On an unrelated related note for the longest time I thought kindergarten was spelled kindergarden. I mean a long time. Well into high school, at least. What, you grow kids into elementary school, right? I guess I'm not as smart as I think I am sometimes..).

HOW THE HELL DID I FORGET THIS?!?!

2010-11-15T04:34:00.001-05:00

It appears in all of my late-October concerting and wedding-attending and westward traveling and starting back to working I totally forgot that the 'Pad's two year anniversary occurred on October 30th at about 8:30pm east coast time. This was a Thursday and shortly before I headed to Gipper's for their weekly after 9pm roll-back beer prices. Some things haven't really changed that much. I guess you could say my first post was sort of a mission statement of sorts:

I really have nothing better to do these days. I lead a fairly uneventful and simple life, but let's see if I can lie cheat and steal my way into interesting. I look forward to the challenge. Let me know your thoughts. And grammatical and spelling errors. Those really grind my gears. Cheers.

Uneventful is all relative, I suppose, but I'm pretty certain I've done an OK job of sticking to my guns as far as where I started, where I've gone, and where I'll continue to go (spelling errors be damned; it became far too much work to re-read before posting...we're all friends here, right?). I appreciate that people read but at the same time this is as much for my own enjoyment as it is for you few folks there that get off at the "My Yellow NotePad" exit on the information superhighway from time to time (It'll always be Exit 12 in my eyes. Dated folks in the 207 I hope you remember those simpler times and smile. Writing that put a smile on my face and a glisten in my eye..). If it wasn't for the people I care about who read this to keep tabs on me I'd have about thirty three hits from Asia right now. I'm not always PC. I don't always hit the ball out of the park when it comes to my commentary. I probably use far too many commas. As well as providing an overabundance of "I guess" I suppose" and "but anyways."

But anyways after a spotty few months I think I'm back in the right mindset for regular posting. This is post number 95 for the year. I know there's no way I'll get anywhere close to the near-200 show I put on in the year to close the decade but I'm looking to settle back into a routine of 3-5 posts a week with a couple being short and sweet videos or links or just random shit I've stumbled upon and a couple more being of my garden variety "this happened" or "this is what I think" or "let me elaborate for the folks at home." I don't know if I still have the power to put asses in the seats like I used to; I feel some of you may still be jaded from the disinterest I showed over the last three or four or five or, hell, I don't know how long it's been since I even got ten posts up in a month. But, god dammit, this head has thoughts in it and I might as well get as many of them out there before we're taken over by China and chained up in barns for years and this happens (Don't click the link unless you want to throw up in your mouth a little. I feel ill just thinking about posting it and I apologize in advance. But, you know China will be knocking on our door one day, right? So keep buying on credit, folks...by then I'll be holed up on my homestead, good lord willin'..).

For those of you who are new to the game and want to kill some time scroll back through my "turned pages," an archive of blogs past. Somewhere around late October or early November I did a one year anniversary tribute blog that contained some fan favorites. Clicking on a year will give you the whole year on a page, clicking on a month will give you the whole month on a page, clicking on a title will give you that particular post and only that particular post. Most of the time I black out (figuratively, I don't often drink and blog. BWI can lead to improper grammar and usage as well as a high probability of spelling errors) and forget what I wrote about so this may even be good for me. I hope I haven't repeated myself a lot. That would just be shitty all the way around.

As I've said for quite some time, as long as you keep reading I'll keep writing. So thanks again for sticking with me and here's to many more postings of inconsequential instances of silly thought. Cheers.

[W]rap..

2010-11-14T06:07:00.002-05:00

Another week in the books. I have a little weekly calendar Ma gave me that I use to write my schedule down in. All the scheduling is done online and I still check it daily (pretty much every time I fire my machine up to find the on-ramp to the information superhighway which is usually more than once a day but whatever..) but I still write it down every week. I have paydays written in there, too. Because I'm an anal-retentive dork. But the calendar has a little ribbon that is sewn into the binding and acts as a bookmark so it's always nice to turn the page on weeks after my last shift. Earlier in the summertime this would sometimes happen on Thursdays, and let me tell you in case you don't know: It feels GREAT to end a week on a Thursday. UN-BE-LIEVABLE. Since I've gotten back this has happened on Saturday once, then Friday, and this week Saturday again. One day weekends are pretty lame but sometimes I've got to work to live the lifestyle I've become accustomed to.

Both times I've headed back out here Ma has stuck a little note in my effects along with a small bit of spending monies. The notes are sweet. The money certainly isn't necessary but I've yet to find the note before I've left the state so once it crosses state lines I consider un-gifting in poor taste so I find ways to spend it. This time around I was instructed to buy something nice for my new apartment. I bought tequila shots for my roommate and some friends on Halloween. That brought good karma to the place, so in turn thank you, Ma, for allowing me to purchase good karma for my new living situation.

I don't really stress about furniture and that sort of junk. The place came “mostly” furnished with beds in each room and a couple of couches and a TV and a kitchen table (with chairs!!) and enough kitchenware to more or less get by, so about the only thing I kind of could use is a reading lamp and maybe a small fan. However, I've gotten by without those for the last couple of weeks so I don't really see a point in getting them when I've been managing fine without them. For instance, I've needed a soap dish, too. But this time around when I opened a new bar of soap instead of opening it from the side-like I cut the top off. PRESTO: soap dish. You can give me shit about being cheap all you want but it's creative frugality and I'm fairly certain it'll pay off somewhere, somehow down the line. You can write that down.

I guess it's just I see people move out here and then spend A LOT of money to start out. People get here, get settled for a couple of months and everything is gravy and they decide, “Well, I'm here, I might as well ship my car out here as well as a bunch of my home-shit.” Only to see them leave six months later and ship cars and home-shits right back. When all the while they had been getting by fine beforehand without any of that hoopla. To me that's just basic, need-based economics. I don't need a car, ergo I don't buy one and sold mine back home. Some additional comforts are nice, but why not pick up a cheap-ass Maui hoopty for half the price of shipping a car one way? Maybe it's just I don't feel like I need all that much to live comfortably. Counter to what is certainly an overly consumer-rich culture we have here in the ol' U.S.of A., more is not always better. Some people poke fun at my bike but biking around is some of the most fun I have out here. It feels like freedom. And that's what America is about, right (I know Dodge says America is about cars AND freedom but fuck that noise..)?

I'm pretty sure I posted this very early on in the 'Pad's history, circa late 2008, but I believe Time's article on The 100 Challenge should be examined (or reexamined, for those of you who have been here from jump..) by us all.

"It comes down to the products vs. the promise," says organizational consultant Peter Walsh, who characterizes himself as part contractor, part therapist. "It's not necessarily about the new pots and pans but the idea of the cozy family meals that they will provide. People are finding that their homes are full of stuff, but their lives are littered with unfulfilled promises."

Maybe this is all to say that I've grown quite content with my daily and weekly routines.

This is a very nice feeling for me. My job certainly isn't perfect; a well-trained but drunken monkey could easily perform the mostly mindless, quite mundane tasks of clearing glasses, wiping tables, filling ice buckets, and emptying trash cans. But, shit, the money's alright in my book for performing said tasks. The vast majority of the people I work with thoroughly enjoy what they do. I've never been involved with any kind of true office work but I don't think this can be said of most offices. Everywhere employment is just a means to an end, but out here the end is, well, a pristine landscape and beautiful weather.

But, hell, I finish a shift at work, walk downstairs to change into boardshorts and 100 feet later I'm in the ocean. There's a lot to be said for that. My rides to and from work, while warm, are just another chance to intake some Vitamin-D or burn a few calories from the free meal I just consumed, respectively. Same goes for the weekly-ish shopping trips to Lahaina: exercise and cosmic rays. The remaining hours are filled with beaches, books, beers, and bars, to highlight four nouns that start with the letter B for a little Sesame Street shout out..

Speaking of transportation, I enjoy being in places long enough to be dialed into traffic patterns. On my bike ride to work I ride down a decent sized hill on a golf course that brings me out onto a little parkway right in front of where I work. When I'm at the top of the hill I can tell, based on where cars are at on this parkway, if I'll be able to charge across the road without stopping or actually have to slow down for the STOP sign. I always like it when I can pass three or four rented cars riding on the wrong side of the road and then scream across the street as the cars just sit there confused about which direction they are supposed to go. More or less tourists are a pain in the ass but if they didn't rent the cars I'd be out of a job so KEEP COMING TO THE WEST SIDE OF MAUI.

When I ride I generally ride how you're supposed to ride a bike. You know, with traffic, on the road not the sidewalk, simple shit like that but it still baffles me how many touristing motorists get downright PISSED when they have to slow down because of a bike. If a car pulls out across the street anywhere close to me I try to speed up in hopes one day I'll be able to ghostride my Schwinn right into the side of that asshat and RUIN his dickhead, in-a-hurry, fucking day. Yeah, I swore. These shitty drivers deserve it. If I ever get hit by some moron and I'm able to get up from it you can bet your ass shortly after I'll have a broken right hand and an aggravated assault charge pending. Bikes = cars. Get it right or pay the price. Speak into the mic. I've got a backup mic right here. If you're hungry I'll fix you a hand sangwich.

This is not to say I put myself in a high degree of danger when I ride; I'm actually quite defensive and very heads-up outside of riding with headphones in my ears jamming out and having no lights whatsoever. When I work a night shift I'll wear a light colored shirt home. That seems good enough for me..

But yeah back home I'd be able to whip around the rotary merging with no regard from the right entry lane right into traffic while a line of cars would hang out in the left entry lane stopped waiting for a break in two other lanes of traffic. I'd hit that shit on the run like a well-timed fooseball edge blitz then merge over and in. Pretty slick willy if you ask me.

Actually I just lied to you as I should have said “the rotary.” It's not actually a rotary as there's a YIELD sign on exit of turn three. So you're not able to make it around the innermost lane continuously with the right of way, which I'm pretty sure is a pretty big portion of the definition of “rotary.” And yes, I did just pull out some NASCAR-speak when referencing the exit of turn three in Auburn's “rotary.” This is my “rotary” perspective, entering “the rotary” heading towards downtown and Lewiston. Those coming from downtown and Lewiston may be biased to call the turn I referenced turn four based on where they began their trip. They, however, would be wrong, because I'm fairly certain I'm the first person out there to break down Auburn's “rotary” using auto-racing turn numbers. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

But back to daily transporting...As Mr. Kurt Cobain said back some time the early 90's: In the sun I feel as one.

I've always liked being out at night once stoplights lose their timers and sensors and green lights and switch to blinking red and blinking yellow lights. I've always liked how they alternate blinking: When one light is red or yellow the other light is out, then it switches, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, then it switches again, etc.

Sometime very early in the generic scene described above I pass through the intersection but I always like it when I'm driving and I can see the glow of yellow, then red, then yellow then red, th-(I kid. I'm not going to do that again..) in my rearview mirrors as I continue down the road. The longer and straighter and quieter the road, the better. I don't know why this is. It's one of the few things I'd like about night driving. That and back in high school after fooseball games when I'd turn my lights out and drive Perkins Ridge and Young's Corner Rd. by starlight and moonlight in the “Little Red Wagon” that was my Wrangler. Unsafe? Maybe. But the view was always well worth it, no matter the night. Cheers.

I need a DVD player ASAP..

2010-11-10T16:31:00.001-05:00

This has been out of my life for too long. I think Sunday I'm going to make it happen.

And if this doesn't help get you over the hump then I don't know what will...Cheers.

Stolen photos..

2010-11-09T20:17:00.001-05:00

If facebook's good for one thing it's that you can look at other people's photos and represent them as your own as the need arises. For instance, when you are in Hawaii with your digital camera yet the cord to connect said camera to your computer is 5000 miles away. So, here are some pictures of the new place and Halloween I "borrowed" from my new roommate, Jon's buddy (and now my buddy), Louis:

Front stoop. Gonna do me plenty of sitting here. Already have, actually. And, of course, my baby Blue..

I don't think "plastic" and "white picket fence" went together in the 50's or whenever the hell white picket fences were in style, but we've got a classy plastic one close by. Plus a towering view of the ocean and the island of Moloka'i. It's more impressive in person. It always is..

My lair. I offered the master to Louis to be a nice guy. He, in turn, offered it back to me. So, I, in turn, took it. Swell quarters and my own shitter: I really can't ask for much more.

In other news I was on Wiki last night looking up random bits of information (if you're ever bored just go to Wiki, pick something to search for, then start reading and click on links that seem interesting within whatever page you're reading. You can do this for hours. Well, at least I can..) and ended up learning more about The Black Crowes' The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion, the same album I brought up a week or so ago. Anyways, did you know this album was the first album in Billboard history to have four (4!!!!) #1 Mainstream Rock hits on it. Out of ten songs. Strong? Nah, quite strong.

And as I do a bit more research now, The Black Crowes are one of two artists to have consecutive #1 songs, and it occurred with two songs from this album. First "Sting Me," followed immediately by "Remedy." STP is the other with two songs of of the extra-tasty album Purple, "Vasoline" and "Interstate Love Song," respectively. Pretty neat, right?

But back to what I found out last night:

The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion was #1 on the Billboard 200 back in '92, and guess what album preceded AND followed it? A little group known as Kris Kross, with their album Totally Krossed Out. Yep, "Jump," "Warm It Up," "I Missed The Bus." This was the first "real" cassette I had ever gotten. By real, I mean not Raffi or Rick Charette or Disney or that sort of stuff. It was a Christmas gift from an Aunt. Auntie got skillz.

I'm pretty hard, right? Getting a Jermaine Dupri-produced gem ups my "badass quotient" to the n'th degree, if I do say so myself.

Back to the pictures, here are a couple from The [Blackout] Express that was Halloween..

The mex-stache comes in handy when you decide to be, well, Mexican for Halloween. ES ZORRO!

This could explain why I lost time for a couple of hours later on in the evening.
How sick is the Z sash to conceal my fanny pack, though?!

This was more or less the scene down town. This is inside The Wharf, a place with shops and bars. There were titties out in here. I, however, do not remember said titties nor did I get pictures. Saw my favorite costume of the night in here and it was some sweet, little thing dressed up as Leeloo from The Fifth Element, complete with orange wig and scant, stripped cloth wrapped around said sweet, little thing. There are worse places to live, I suppose..

Next year the town has decided to shut down Front St. like the old days so people can just walk up and down the street, beers out, a'la Bourbon St. If I'm still kicking it here I'm telling you it's 100% fact Lt. Dan will be revived. Watch out, Lahaina town..

Pocahontas was impressed..

I didn't pass out here, but I was close. I had a burrito about 5 minutes later from a street vendor that was UN-BE-LIEVABLE. I waited another week to sleep outside in a parking lot like a vagrant. It's pretty easy to do out here, and I figured it was safer than operating my two-wheeler under the influence. Responsibility Matters, people..

O, when I was back in Maine I happened to run into Rick Charette's son. We have a mutual friend. He seemed like a piece of shit. But I guess when your pops is this famous you grow up with a silver spoon in your mouth and don't know how to handle being out on your own:

This guy's still the man. I watched that and felt three years old again. Maybe his son acted like a piece of shit because he's grown tired of talking about his dad's twenty-plus years of creating childhood memories through music, as I waxed poetic about seeing Mr. Charette multiple times in my formative, bed-wetting years. Still, the asshole should be able to take a joke. Grow up, Peter Pan. You're not mad at me, your mad at your dad for his 350 days of touring northern New England while you were trying to learn long division on your own. Life is hard, man; get over it.

Rick needs to do something about that backing band, though. Put them in costumes or something. Big furry mascot suits or something crazy. That would be a treat for all the little kids pissing themselves in the audience. All as alligators in elevators! Write that shit down. Call me, Rick: I'll bring your career into the 2010's ASAP. Cheers.

Forgotten news & notes..

2010-11-09T04:12:00.000-05:00

I mentioned awhile back that I have, in fact, moved into a new place. El apart-e-ment-o. It's no third floor penthouse on Wood St. in the Lew but it's not too shabby, all things considered. Who am I trying to kid...it's pretty dope. In a perfect world I'd post some pictures of it but as luck would have it I left the cord that connects my camera to my laptop in Maine. OOPS! Guess I need to jet back soon, right??

I noticed I was without a cord after I took a few pictures of Reese's Pieces that I put together in the shape of flowers. Well, I thought they looked flowery. I used one brown Pieces for the center and then put three orange and three yellow Pieces around the brown Pieces so it looked like a pretty, colorful flower. I apparently have way too much time on my hands as I wasn't under the influence of any PED's and I still found this enthralling for a good twenty minutes. Once I made the flower I had to eat the flower whole, though. All seven Pieces. I didn't want to pick petals. I would have much preferred Peanut Butter M&M's but I'm not sure if Peanut Butter M&M's would match up as well as the Pieces did. It was quite remarkable, actually. It was like Mr. Reese himself chose the diameter of his Pieces to require six more Pieces to fit exactly around the circumference of one Pieces. No, wait. Chances are this is a math equation and chances are good you could do this with about any circular object, no matter the size, you'd just have more negative space in between the circles that would kind of look triangular. Triangles in between my petals would look shitty, so I'll stick with my Pieces for art and Peanut Butter M&M's for eat. I just got geometric on your asses, right there. But, math majors, help me out. If you have seven circles of equal diameter if you circle six of them around the seventh it should always fit pretty good, because of pi, right?

I just found the answer using cans of chili and soup. It's a pretty good fit. You all can thank me later as I know this has crossed all of your minds many times. You may now continue with your respective days.

--

I will try to get pictures up sometime soon, some way, somehow. This place is pretty dope; I wouldn't bullshit and it's not just because I'd been couch surfing for the two-plus months prior to move-in. We're on the ground floor with an ocean view right out of our front door. Plus I can lock my bike up right next to our door. That was the big selling point for me, really.

But, ya, now I actually have places for folks to crash so Samm-o: whenever you want to find that aloha spirit again you've got an open invitation.

Many mahalos also go out to the few folks who still read this and actually check in fairly frequently to see that I commonly go days without posting and even on the off chance I do post I write about fucking Reese's Pieces flowers. Seriously, though. They look just like cute little flowers. Colorful and daisy-like. But, anyways: YOU'RE ALL INVITED, TOO! COME JOIN THE PAHHHHTAYYYY! Cheers.

The Notepad Abides..

2010-11-05T20:42:00.001-04:00

Forgot about this one, but the original incarnation of the yellow notepad came in handy during my trip back to the islands. As I think I mentioned before I got delayed quite a bit and had to get pretty creative to make it back to Maui in just one day so each time I was on the phone with an airline representative (The first three or four times this was with United and then finally with Hawaiian to make sure I'd be able to hop the “shuttle” over...or jettle, maybe? Jet-shuttle, get it? Catchy, methinks..) I needed to remember flight times and flight numbers and various other factoids and the yellow notepad came through in the clutch. As did the houndstooth hip pouch. You haters out there can zip it about my bootleg look because as everyone in line was scrambling though their carry ons in hope of coming up with writing implements and paper I had paper, pencils and pens for miles right close by. I was even kind enough to give out two sheets and let someone borrow a pen, too. Good travel karma, right there. A couple people had the iPhones and blackberrys (that's correct pluralization, right? As it's a proper name, not the delicious fruit. I think I'm correct..) but it looked miserable having to hold the phone, say, “Yep, hold on,” take the phone away from their ears, type a couple of letters or numbers or words or whatever, then say “OK, go,” and do it again and again and again. I plopped that phone on in between my shoulder and ear and just wrote away. No delay, no pause. “Yep, yep, yep.” I kick ass. Do not hate on my travel ability. I hate airline travel but I'm skillfully adapting to it. Any travel with windows up is pretty lame, if you ask me.

Speaking of old business pertaining to my flight from east to west, while in Chicago awaiting my flight to LAX I had a chance to talk to Clay Matthews' parents for a minute. Actually, Clay Matthews III's parents, as Clay Matthews' father is Clay Matthews Jr. Clay Matthews III is a helluva player for the Packers and former USC stud, and his pops was a linebacker in the league for many, many years in the 70's, 80's, & 90's. Clay Jr.'s brother, Bruce played tackle for nineteen seasons in the league and started close to 300 games in his career. Never missed a start, either. First ballot hall of famer, you know, just your average career. As I look at Clay Jr's wiki page is tells me he played in the 16th most games all time. Bruce never missed a start in his career and, until BrettFave passes him this season, played in the most games ever by a non kicker/punter. This family has nothing to sneeze at when it comes to football. The third Matthews son is a linebacker at Oregon now and they're, oh, #2 in the country right now. Ho hum.

I knew a a lot more about Bruce than I did about Clay Jr. I knew Clay Jr. was in the league but I didn't know he had played as long as he did until today. I guess you learn something new(-ish..) every day.

Speaking of the league: the TV show The League on FX sucks big donkey balls. I watched the first season and it was kind of funny but the one episode I saw of season 2 was awful. They had commissioner issues but these issues were decided upon by 5 people. WHERE THE HELL WAS THE INPUT FROM THE OTHER THREE PEOPLE WHO SUPPOSEDLY PICKED VIA TELEPHONE IN SEASON ONE?! Trash, if you ask me. Talk about a plot hole. Clearly these writers have very little knowledge of the seriousness most long time gamers take their fantasy football. This shit pisses me off. If you've only got one good season of ideas don't come back for season 2 and just fill it with fear boners and shit like that. The fear boner storyline began pretty humorously but lost all steam when the competition for new commissioner came down to a running race watched by the three other people who live close by without any input from the remainder of the league. Poppycock. Five-team leagues don't fucking happen. See?! I'm swearing over the ridiculousness of this show. GET IT OFF THE AIR ASAP. I'd like to burn Craig right now with what he used to do in high school (Hell, may still do, I'll have to ask Nick..) but that's a league-eyes-only matter and not fit for discussion here. You're lucky I respect the sanctity of our league, Mr. Cormier, Jr. AS ANY TRUE FANTASY FOOTBALLER WOULD, UNLIKE THE SHMUCKS WHO WRITE FOR THAT BABY TURD EXCUSE FOR A TV SHOW.

But at any rate I was at O'Hare waiting for my connection to LAX having already bumped my LAX-Maui flight to LAX-Honolulu via telephone when I saw this big middle aged dude milling about. Not out of the ordinary by any stretch at a big airport, I know. He happened to be standing relatively close to where I was sitting down when the woman he was with turned around and she was wearing a "ROSE BOWL GAME" backpack with "MATTHEWS" embroidered on it. I had to go over and say hello and demonstrate my knowledge of the Matthews' family. They were super nice folks. Still pumped up after Green Bay's dismantling of the BrettFavre disaster a couple of days beforehand.

They flew economy plus, not first class. I respected that, too.

As I was boarding, long after the Matthews' had boarded as they sprung for middle class, a woman came up and asked who it was I was talking to. I told her and she was super excited because her son played D-line at U Idaho so she knew her son would love to hear about who she was on the plane with. I envisioned him saying, "Cool, mom..." in a brush off way but knowing deep down he would have liked to have been there. 20-something sons are jerks. Her son is a high school football coach, so we talked high school fooseball coaching in general for a brief minute, too. The jet bridge was long, I'm not making it up. That day was easily more than I had ever spoken in airports in my life, combined, including trips I traveled with other people. I guess I was in a good mood.

For the past couple of days it's been raining intermittently here. And by intermittently I mean 90% of the time it is showering, 5% of the time it is raining, and the other 5% the sun is out. More or less all this means is I get SOAKED on my bike rides. I need to keep a towel on my bike at all times so when I get to wherever I'm going I can towel off before proceeding inside. It's not really that bad, I suppose, as it's still 75 out when this is going on. But I didn't move away from Vacationland to live on a vacation island for it to rain all of the time. This has got to stop ASAP.

People look at me like I'm crazy, too, when I ride around in the rain. It hardly rains like this here, well, ever, so I'll take 350 days of sunny bike riding and fifteen or so lousy ones all the way to the bank. All the way to the bank in the rain today, actually, as I need to order checks today. Life doesn't stop because of showers, unless you're the Wicked Witch of the West. My clever wit doesn't stop, either. Cheers.

"What, did you go on vacation...?

2010-11-01T02:00:00.001-04:00

"...I figured. You're looking pretty pale."

So began my return to the Hula Grill Wednesday, not much more than twelve hours after my return to the 808 from the friendly, homely confines of the 207. It's a tough life I lead, really. I found the aforementioned comment pretty hysterical as most people returning from vacation stand out because they are, in fact, tan. Maui living is...different.

Back home on my way to Albany to catch the Crowes it was intermittently raining cats and dogs so I was forced to use my windshield wipers from time to time. I am tremendously OCD when it come to windshield wiper operation. I believe windshield wiper speed should be adjusted according to the precipitation and if precipitation slows then windshield wiper speed should also slow accordingly. As a passenger if this does not occur then I get annoyed, exceedingly so if the wipers make that annoying "SQUEEEEEAK" when there's not enough moisture on the windshield to properly lubricate the wipers. I'm not kidding, I freak out inside when this happens. It ruins my driving experience.

In my Jeep well back when I didn't have the slow-ish speed that you could adjust. I just had "OFF," "ON," and "SUPER FAST." "SUPER FAST" should never be used, except in hurricane- or tornado-like conditions.

The one, ONE time I used the "SUPER FAST" setting was in my Volvo cruising from Nashville to Manchester, TN to Bonnaroo when we drover through tornado reports. It was frightening. I was going 35 on the highway and we could see ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT RAINDROP SLATTER, even in "SUPER FAST" mode. Never do this; it's not much fun. Nick can attest to this. He was hating life. My driving was piss poor at best that morning. FYI: PED'S increase chances of hangover.

At any rate, this lack of options contributed to my enjoyment of driving as long as I could with raindrops accumulating on the windshield until, just prior to raindrop-out, "SWISH." This wasn't turning the windshield wipers on but rather just slipping the jab, so to speak, and sparking the single shot wiper. I'd drive for plenty long just single shotting every 30 seconds or so rather than have my wipers moving two drops a pass. That's just how I rolled. This kept me squeak-free for a good six years.

When I picked up the Volvo and because a two car family I gained not only another car but another speed of windshield wiper freedom, in the form of the "SLOWER ON" speed. It was handy in that I didn't have to slip the jab quite as much but obviously it was nowhere as handy as the more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do that has been present on most cars built in the last, oh, fifteen years or so.

ASIDE HERE: This is not to say until this time home I've never used this more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do, just that it's never been my daily driver. Ma's gold Chevrolet Malibu used to have this twisty speed, I just didn't drive it enough to call it my daily-driver and thus develop the idiosyncraties that generally result with someone spending an inordinate amount of time with something.

SECONDARY ASIDE: This more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do is the doo-dad that twists on your windshield wiper stick that, when clicked to the corresponding angle (usually it goes from "OFF" to this more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do to "ON" to "SUPER FAST" in one direction and then you can slip the jab in the other direction. So when in the more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do setting you can twist the column and adjust the delay between wipes from just more than your standard "ON" setting to fifteen or so seconds between passes. Glad we cleared that up..

ANWAYS I drove Ma's Nissan to Albany and this car, being built within the last fifteen or so years, possessed the more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do setting. We'll call it the "DELAY" setting from here on out. As the rain changed speed I adjusted the tempo of the delay accordingly. I'd say over the four hours of on-and-off wet travel I ended up "ON" for less than five minutes. Between an hour and ninety minutes were spent in the "DELAY" range. This was changed about every thirty seconds because I NEED MY WIPERS TO BE RESPONDING TO THE EXACT RATE OF RAINDROP FALL. Then the rest was a jab here and a jab there.

Skip doesn't do any of this. Hasn't for as long as I can remember. All I remember is "SQUEEEEAK." Still hurts my ears. It drives me up a WALL. Love you, Skip. You don't read. Ma does. She'll tell you. I expect a "FUCK YOURSELF" text or voice message within the next twelve hours. I deserve it. But, god dammit, dial in your wipers, folks.

Also the drive I listened to the Crowes' The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion. Their second album. As it turned out they played quite a bit at the show but it was certainly nice to reconnect with this gem. Ten high-quality songs. A lot more blues-rocky than their debut. I'mma huge fan. Few folks still live in the 207 but most Bull Moose's stock this used for under $3 ($2.97, but still, under three Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers..). If you like the Crowes and don't have this album then you're a fool. If you don't know if you like the Crowes then scoop the for three bucks and you'll see that you like the Crowes. It's that simple. I even provided you with a picture of the album cover so you'll know what to look for. It's delightful.

-Note to KathV & Jenn with two N's: Here is your test: If you have been staying current with your readership of the 'Pad I will find out quite soon. I obtained a copy of the Crowes show we went to. Ya. "She Talks To Angels." "Hard To Handle." "By Your Side." SEVENTEEN MINUTES of "Wiser Time." A cover of Velvet Underground's "Oh! Sweet Nuthin'." All that. Three hours of memories can be yours if I receive in text message within the next 48 hours: "And the band played on, in golden harmony."

Cheers.

Gone 'til November..

2010-10-30T17:29:00.000-04:00

I'm plum-tuckered out. Things have been crazy busy this week. I suppose crazy busy isn't the appropriate adjective; I'm just flat out exhausted from traveling, haven't had a huge amount of time to relax, and don't see that time coming for about a week. I learned that the midwest was having some of the worst weather they've seen in 50 or so years...as I sitting on my flight out of PWM Tuesday morning heading for Chicago. SWELL! Haha. O'hare grounded all planes for a couple of hours but the folks in Portland were kind enough to let us off the plane while we were grounded. Back in college I was in Minneapolis heading back to Maine and a snowstorm grounded us for six hours and they kept us on the plane for the first five of those hours. It was fucking brutal. I don't swear a lot on here but that's just how brutal it was. Miserable. The only time in my life I didn't bat an eye at paying $8 for a beer was when they let us off for a half hour so me and another guy from Bates sprinted to the bar, pounded beers, then ran back to re-board. Airline travel is miserable.

Anyways I missed my connection for LAX but managed to get on another flight a bit later so I was still set to get to Maui no sweat. The connecting flight, however, was delayed in Boston for the same reasons we were delayed in Portland so the plan was about 90 minutes late arriving, and concurrently, I missed another connection. Boo hoo. So, instead of flying to Maui I took the last flight from LAX to Honolulu, then had to book a separate flight over to Maui. BUT I MADE IT! Landed around 9pm, got picked up around 10pm, was in bed around 11pm, then up to move into my new digs for 9am the next morning. Hindsight says this was poor planning on my part and hindsight is always 20/20.

New place is swell, though (I wanted to devote an entire post to this and call it "New Place, New Plan (Redux)" but as with the first "New Place, New Plan" only a couple people get the joke so it's not a huge hit humor-wise and I'm on my way to work so if it ever comes it'll have to wait..). The last couple nights have finally felt like I have a home, whereas my first few months here I felt like a guest in a house and the couple months after that in August and September I felt like a transient. Having a place to live that you can call your own is nothing to sneeze at. Remember that, kids.

Time to make the donuts. Posts won't be coming up for the next couple of days with Halloween making a return to my life. I'm not super stoked on my costume but I think I'll make an OK Zorro if I can locate a sword and some mustache wax. Halloween's still weird for me. It's been all downhill since this:

Cheers (And yes, I will be talking about this costume for the rest of my life. Old, wrinkly women in the nursing home will be jumping my shrunken, calcium-deficient bones in fifty or sixty years at this picture. Admit it: It was, in fact, that good..).

Tired, but wiser for the time..

2010-10-25T00:44:00.001-04:00

It's been really nice to be back in Maine for the last couple of weeks. I don't know if I was busy or not. It felt kind of busy but some of it was just challenges that are presented when I wanted to venture around the Northeast without a car of my own to drive. So some flexibility and fluidity with scheduling needed to apply. All in all I think I managed to squeeze in a lot of high-priority events. Things got off to a proper start with a Flatbread dinner minutes after landing at PWM and continued on a proper path from there, as Wallingford's cider donuts were waiting patiently as I arrived home. TREMENDOUS. Made it to Gipper's plenty, and all signs lead to having one last dinner there Monday evening prior to my Tuesday, 6:33am departure from the Portland International Jetport as I resume my island odyssey.

All things considered it was a fantastic trip home. I feel like this time around I had plenty more big ticket days than my trip home in July as I was more judicious in my traveling. Yes, I spent a little under nine hours driving to and from Albany, NY, but saw a killer Black Crowes show with my sistas Jenny and KathV and still made it back to greater L/A Saturday to catch all of Skip's football game and hobnob with Bates' finest for the afternoon. Sunday brought a hastily-planned Casco Bay lobster boat cruise with my sister where the Pabst's flowed like wine. A good time was had by all involved.

Concluding this past week, and more or less my trip, I suppose, was the wedding of Liam and Rachel, two very close friends. The gang was back in full force for three nights of silliness, two Yarmouth, wedding-hoopla'd evenings sandwiching a traditional Auburn evening of Gipper's, Goose, and an afterparty which saw about a dozen pallets go up in the span of an hour and multiple bets on what would soon be drawing the attention of the Auburn Fire Department: structure or forest fire? As luck would have it nothing but my feets caught fire so everyone went home with smiles on their faces.

After snaking a post-wedding ride back to Auburn and immediately falling asleep at the after party I awoke to a crisp, fall morning and, well, no one else at the house besides the owners. As luck would have it Ma was already out of bed so my call did not wake her and she was happy to swing by and grab me, but this pickle enticed me to begin heading home on foot. I was still attired as nicely as my closet allowed for the previous afternoon's wedding (think college professor more than power broker..) so my sweater and corduroy blazer kept me toasty warm even as I was rocking $4 Surfah sandals on my feets (I found these to be more appropriate than either the asic's running shoes I brought home or the 8" Chippewa loggers I had been wearing most days as they're my favorite footwear and I'm going to miss them this winter as it'll be the first winter in seven years we won't see snow together. I hope I showed them enough love over these last couple weeks..

--

K, got that little recap all out of the way. The Black Crowes show was legit. Very, very happy I made it back to see them. I was tempted to squeeze in a round two viewing but when J.Mac came up with Citizen Cope tickets I decided two shows was enough. There's certainly some temptation to cruise to San Fran for a couple of days in December to catch a show or two during their six night Fillmore stand but that's another story for another day. The show took place at The Palace, an old, fairly seedy-looking theater whose interior was either very well-restored or has just aged remarkably well. Going in I had hoped to hear an acoustic version of "Good Friday" and I was lucky enough to have that dream come true. I felt kind of silly though because it was the third song of the night and I didn't recognize the harmonica opening right away so it took a little while for me to build into things. Overall I was quite happy with the setlist and the seventeen minute "Wiser Time" in the first set was absolutely killer. Jenny-babe hooked it up from her Pepsi-folks and we were within ten rows of the stage, which isn't bad starting pay. Low key, heady crowd down front, too, which was a plus, with the exception of one moron who tried to hop on stage and proceeded to get crosschecked by Chris Robinson and his mic stand. Silliness all around. The show continued as planned, as far as I could tell.

Not a video of aforementioned stage-bum-rusher. Just a video of good music..

The Crowes do a lot of taping of their shows so I broke down today and bought the show from their archive site. I'm a sucker for tracking down the live shows I've been to so naturally I was going to scoop this as it was readily available. It's put a nice smile on my face this evening as I've been collecting the items I brought home so they can be repacked sometime on Monday. It's going to be a little more weird heading out this time around as I don't really have a definitive plan on when I'll be back to the 207 again. I'm sure I'll be back next summer at least for Em's Run but other than that I've really got no plan. We shall see, eh?

Is this silly?

2010-10-20T03:51:00.000-04:00

Got gifted a Rainwater LP at the Citizen Cope show I went to on Monday. Hadn't heard anything off of it other than "Keep Askin" and that was at Bonnaroo well back. Anyways, a lot of the album has static in between songs like you'd normally hear listening to vinyl (hence the "lp" tag on the album, I'd suspect..). Cracks and pops and whatnot. Brought me back to all of my parents albums I used to listen to back in the day. And the time I bought an ODB album on vinyl during the couple years in high school I braided my hair and wore oversized sweat suits.

Anywho...this album is also sold on vinyl. If I were to listen to the vinyl, in between tracks would I be hearing vinyl static...while hearing vinyl static? Is that silly to anyone but me? I'd think this scenario would cause the world to implode upon itself...but I guess not since it hasn't happened yet and I think the album has been out for quite some time. Ya, Amazon says March. Something tells me at least one of those suckers has been sold and listened to by now and we're still spinning. Maybe, as crafty as Clarence Greenwood seems to be (he ties a proficient hair knot..) the "vinyl static" has been removed from the vinyl...but, how would you know? Right? Because you'd still be hearing static from the vinyl on the needle. I need to stop thinking about this; I'm sure no one cares about this but me and I don't care all that much.

Maybe it's like in Wayne's World when they're all in the studio looking over the set of Wayne's basement and Garth says "We're looking down at Wayne's basement. Only that's not Wayne's basement. Isn't that weird" Weird, indeed, good sir. Once again, Wayne's World provides.

Show was solid though, low key vibe. The stage could have been higher. I had my boots on and I still struggled to see. Mother fucking tall people.

Cheers.

Things are shaping up nicely..

2010-10-15T10:08:00.003-04:00

It was an excellent idea to come back for this wedding hootenanny a week early. I've been able to line up plenty of entertainment.

First of all I'm happy to say I've added "hootenanny" to my lexicon. Rob Zombie's current tour with Alice Cooper is called the "Gruesome Twosome Halloween Hootenanny" tour. While it's unfortunately I missed their performance last night at the Cumberland County Civic Center recently I've reconnected with Robert and his hellbilly ways through eBay where I was lucky to stumble upon this gem late one night:

I had it shipped home as I didn't have an address on the island at the time of the impulse buy so it was waiting for me Monday evening when I made it back to the 04210. This could potentially be my favorite eBay purchase ever and I've got a feedback score of 57 with !00% positives so it's not my first eBay rodeo.

I went to this concert back in high school with Nick, Randy, and Luke Robinson. Ya, a mod squad we were. Holy smokes. We sw him at the Central Maine Civic Center pre-city takeover and present Collisee status. AKA back in the good ol' days. Saw plenty of freaks last night, so much so that for the opening acts we hung out in a penalty box to protect ourselves from the hundreds (read: less than 1000 in attendance, I'm sure..) of people who wanted to get dead. This was really about his heyday, though, as Sinister Urge had just been released and a lot of folks were still super high on Hellbilly Deluxe. I know I thought it was a kickass album, and still do.

But yeah, it was a hell of a show. I remember we were about the lamest kids there. Some people rolled in in a hearse. And fuckers dressed up like kids from Children of the Corn and handed out fliers to get people to go to their fucked up website. God damn freak shows, I tell ya. I was considered the "most hard" because I was wearing a Subway polo shirt that I had picked up at Sal's Boutique. Fairly certain the rest of my party was in A+F as that was the standard getup for high school kids in Auburn in the early 2000's. Bunch of winners we were, really. Looking back I can't fathom how I had no problem spending thirty or forty bones on a t shirt when I was making six or seven dollars an hour. I guess Lester Burnham said it best when he worked all summer to by an 8-track player: "It was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me." Indeed.

Actually, we weren't the lamest people there. One of the opening acts played six or seven songs of angry, close-to-speed metal chock full of death, murder, and rape lyrics but in between every song the lead singer would pony up to the mic all heart felt and whine things like, "We will never forget this!!" practically tearing up like a middle school girl writing in her diary about how Jimmy Football Hero touched her hand while he was reaching for the ketchup in the lunch line. Vagina Face. Grow up. Can I get Charles Barkley to throw out an "embarrassing" right here. "That's EMBURRRRUUUSUUUNG." Thanks, Chuck.

Anyways long story short it was kick ass. For whatever reason in those days Rob had a pretty strong affinity for Lewiston and even played a couple of Halloween shows there over the years. Literally, on Halloween. Rob Zombie. Pretty big deal. In Lewiston. I didn't go but man I bet it was extra kickass.

Under most conditions I'd be pretty steamed that I missed a show like Zombie and Alice Cooper (rock legend, I'd probably feel like Wayne and Garth did if I had made it down...not worthy..) but I've actually already got a stellar live music lineup dialed in for the weekend. As soon as I finish this up (the Zombie t-shirt tangent was supposed to be a couple of sentences and a picture. Go figure..) I'm hopping in the shower ad then heading to Albany to see the Black Crowes. Stoked. Love the Crowes and had been planning seeing them while I was back for awhile as a few of you know who read back in the day when I'd actually post on the semi-regular. Should be kick ass but super rushed as I need to (NEED TO!) hot shot it back to Maine Saturday morning so I can see Skip coach. Haven't missed a season in my 26 years on this rock so I'm not about to start now. Go Bobcats.

Then for Monday J.Mac came through and scored tickets for Citizen Cope at Port City Music Hall in Portland. Small-ass venue so should be a lot different than when I saw him in Tennessee at Bonnaroo a couple minutes back. GIVE ME ACOUSTIC PABLO PICASSO, DAMMIT.

Then, you know, The Crowes will be in Burlington Tuesday and Wednesday...if inspiration strikes you never know... We'll see how tonight goes and go from there. Shit, Burlington's just a rental car away, right?

Wish me luck driving in this weather. It's raining cats and dogs and blowing goats out. F this weather; give me the nice fall weather the rest of the way through. Cheers.

PS. Hootenanny. Up until last night I'm pretty sure the last time I've seen or heard hootenanny used was in Disney's animated Robin Hood from back in the day. I think it's in the "Robin Hood and Little John walkin' through the forest" song right from the beginning. Robin Hood was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard hootenanny on the Zombie/Cooper commercial at Gipper's so it must be true.Oo-da-lolly, what a weekend.

P.P.S. Zombie is the goddamn man:

Nice double meaning there, right?! The "god damn" modifies "man" in current American slang-lish to mean "quite good," while at the same time Zombie, in his stage presence, at least, more or less damn's God. Think about it for only a couple of seconds or you might just have your mind blown before your weekend even begins..

I'm clever this morning; I've got to write more I'm in the zone. Must be home field advantage.

October is 1/3rd completed...

2010-10-13T03:56:00.000-04:00

...and this is my first post of the month. Also my first post from Maine in a couple of months, too. Yep, back east coast for a of couple weeks, until the 26th. Liam is getting hitched and I wasn't going to buy a ticket home for just a long weekend; I wanted to (somewhat..) get my money's worth. Landed in Portland around 5pm EST on Monday and haven't looked back since. Very, very happy to be back for some fall season.

I can already tell it's going to be a challenge working back into an EST sleep schedule. I didn't go to bed Monday night, choosing to rather muscle up on Tuesday and just try to get back on track Tuesday night. Instead I dozed off on the couch for about four hours early Tuesday evening and now it's nearing 2:30am and I'm again wide awake. I wouldn't say it's something I'm especially worried about, but I can tell already it's going to be interesting negotiating sleep into my routine for the next few days. I found last time around two weeks is just long enough to have a miserable first week back then become fairly accustomed to sleeping at normal times again for the second week so upon return to the island another miserable sleep week will be on the horizon. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

I knew I would definitely be coming back now for quite some time so the couple of months on-island between my East Coast trips felt very disjointed because I didn't bother to find a permanent home over this period of August - early October. Two globe-trotting friends were kind enough to let me get back settled by sleeping on their couch. Both were traveling home for a week each in early August so my first couple of weeks back I had a bed...then sort of milked their hospitality in exchange for monetary compensation, chores, and a gigantic free dinner Hula Grill provided for my employee of the month prize from the summertime. I'm not going to lie though, there was a little stretch where things where things were fairly snug as both of them and their respective boyfriends were home on the regular...but that's neither here nor there now. Once again one roommate left for my final ten days as she traveled cross-country from NY to LA with some friends.

To Anna & Steph: you girls are the best and your generosity will not go unnoticed or unrewarded.

This situation was all due to the fact J.Mac had discussed a possible return to the 808 so I felt it would be better to wait on choosing a long-ish term home until his plans were finalized, with eyes on locking down a nice place for us post-Liam's wedding. Quite surprisingly this worked out exactly as planned. Upon my landing at PWM I had a message waiting that my rental application was approved for a nice three bedroom condo in a posh little spot in the Kahana district of Lahaina. It's a nice corner unit with an ocean view and should provide a significantly upgraded home base for our shenanigans this time around. J.Mac lined up another friend to make the trip so we'll be one happy family by early November. Between lots of hours at the office and viewings and applications my final few days on the island were not spent in the sunshine to a great extent and thus I am pretty unimpressed with my current pasty complexion...but in the long run F you for judging me as I'll get back and be well-bronzed again by the end of October as you New England folks will be frosted and nearing snowfall. Sorry about your luck.

But for the first time in my life I actually took a bit of initiative and didn't procrastinate and for this I am immensely proud of myself. Too bad that spark wasn't there for my thesis..

--

I'm really joking about the tan and I don't mean to hate about the snow. I'm going to miss it this year, I can already tell. I feel almost as though life is too easy out there as I just deal with riding through a rainshower in 80 degree temps every now and again. The air was crisp exiting the airport terminal and it was a tremendous pleasue to walk around the waterfront for a bit in Portland Moday evening, eat outside at Flatbread and then roll home with the windows down on Rt. 100 rather than the hustle and bustle of I-95.

And as I put my baby out to pasture when I dipped out in July I'll be taking a bit of my island lifestyle around town as my old two wheeler will be my mode of transportation. Let's just say it's well below the quality of my Schwinn Cruiser parked on the island. It's a mountain bike I picked up in middle school saving pennies and Christmas checks which I rode about ten times before I left it for dead in the back of our garage. The wheels are a hair smaller, the frame is shorter from seat to handles and I just didn't feel like I could get up on it and muscle up hills like you can on a single speed. I want to go fast, all the time. I don't care if it's hard. So many gears make for too many options, so I left it in the high gear and just made it work as best I could. At least I'll finally get a little bit of return on investment now. I rode it today down to the bank and the post office and over to Bates and back home again. It's by no means ideal but it will certainly get the job done in the interim, provided the lightly dry-rotted tires don't crack and pop out on a commute.

It was nice to see a couple other people on bikes around town today. It was also nice to ride a bike for more than five minutes without becoming plastered in sweat.

Another example of why the 207 is the way life should be. Cheers.

My days always seem to go better..

2010-09-29T07:15:00.000-04:00

..when I floss my teeth. Try it out.

--

Two plus years later, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss' Raising Sand is still a tremendous album. I'm listening to it right now. "Rich Woman" came into my head tonight at work when I saw some lowlife getting dinner bought by his two good looking female companions, who also happen to be my co-workers. This scene was predicted by a server, who said it happens quite regularly.

Jealous and/or bitter, you say? Perhaps, yes. Sue me. HAH!

Cheers.

Saturday Nights; Sunday Mornings..

2010-09-19T06:44:00.002-04:00

Today I didn't work. At all. Which was stellar. Whole day off. Went to the beach. Read some book. Napped. Listened to some Blues Traveler on the iPod. Soaked up some rays. Solid outdoor day on the whole from just after noontime until a tad bit before five. Plenty o'sun. No more pasty-ness. Freshly salted hair. Woo. Hoo. Temporarily shook the rust off from my end-of-summer doldrums. Hopefully this was the start of something new.

Before I get going too much further I just have to say I've been on a pretty big Blues Traveler kick for the past couple of weeks. Four has been a regular player on my rides to and from the office and the couple other cd's I have have been being clicked on regularly when the laptop is booted and iTunes is open. They played at LL Bean's outdoor summer stage a couple of years ago for free and I thought about going down but I saw a flyer with the band beforehand and everyone was skinny so I thought John Popper had either left the band or died so I didn't bother to head down. Turns out he had gastric bypass surgery in the 2000's and lost a good deal of weight and was normal sized and still in the band. So, F my decision. Hindsight always seems to be 20/20, eh?

After some dinner tonight I settled in to watch some TV and caught the 2nd half of the Arizona v. Iowa game. I watch Iowa games quite a bit because they're head coach, Kirk Ferentz, coached the Black Bears awhile back so Skip knows him. When he was with the Browns he got me a personalized Eric Metcalf autographed picture, which is nothing to sneeze at and because of this it goes without saying I'll be pro-Kirk for life. It's also neat to say you have ties to the highest-paid state employee in Iowa. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

The Hawkeyes played pretty terribly, however, and were down three TD's after the first half but worked their way back into the game as Arizona kept shooting themselves in the foot with penalties, a muffed punt, and a pick six and in th 4th Iowa had a chance to take the lead but missed an extra point. Special teams win games, folks. And, clearly, lose games, as Iowa went on to lose. Get'em next week, Kirk.

That Iowa talk really had nothing to do with anything except it's kind of random and semi-interesting to me and it ledd into the fact The Perfect Storm came on around the time the game ended and I started watching The Perfect Storm, because, well, I had nothing better to do and it took place in New England and since I'm 5,000 miles away from New England programs and movies and songs and the like which involve New England interest me more than they used to when I was in New England. I just said New England a lot. I should stop that; it was kind of amateur. I head home in three weeks, though, which I think is kind of cool. I enjoy Maine immensely in autumn. Well, fall. I don't generally use autumn. Too high brow for my eclectic verbage. I can't wait to go to Wallingford's. Cider donuts. Yes, sir. There will be plenty else going on and Liam's wedding to go to, but cider donuts are pretty high up on my list of reasons why I enjoy Maine in the fall. Wallingford's is the cat's purrr-jamas.

I've always thought The Perfect Storm was a pretty good movie. Good in the sense I can watch it multiple times and still be amused, and be able to jump into it when it's half over without incident. I had forgotten John C. Reilly was in it. I just saw The River Wild on an HBO a week or two ago, and had forgotten he was in that, too. So if you were wondering it takes only one degree to connect John C. Reilly to Kevin Bacon, as both were in The River Wild. Write that down. Reilly also damn near brought a tear to my eye tonight as The Perfect Storm was ending after the boat capsizes and he and another of the crew are trapped in the cabin and the water's up to their chins and he looks over at the other guy and says, "This is going to be hard on my little boy" and then the water fills the cabin. I don't know why it's affecting me so much but even as I type this out I just have to say, "Fuck, that's just shitty all the way around." I saw a dead cat on the side of the road I ride to work every day and that kind of got me feeling flat, too. It looked like my first cat when I was little. His name was Tigger. He also died in an automobile accident. Ironic. But ya, I had to ride past this two days straight before it finally got removed by someone more considerate than myself:

I didn't have a shovel, sorry.

Anyways, back to the film. Early on in the movie in a bar scene the jukebox is on and Bruce Springsteen is blasting when everyone's happy as the scene opens but when the controversy picks up and George Clooney's Skipper character tells the crew they're going out for one last go-round of the season a Tom Waits song is on in the background. Today, before Blues Traveler, I listened to most of Closing Time while I was napping on a hotel lawn chair. Guy's legit. I know I've mentioned my adoration of Waits' early works so it was nice to find someone in the movie bizz who appreciated his tremendous works. My big sis got me keen to him one way or another awhile back, so if I didn't give you credit the first time around the block then, "Thanks for introducing me to the music of Tom Waits." The song that was playing in the bar is called "(Looking for) The Heart of Saturday Night." I found this especially fitting, as this is, well, a Saturday night. Eerie...

So, so good. If you don't know, now you know.
-

It's now Sunday morning. Both here, and wherever you are if you're in the US. Moreso than here, as it is actually Sunday morning, but it doesn't really feel like Sunday morning because I haven't been to bed yet so really it still feels like Saturday night. Since you will be reading this on , presumably after a heavy night of boozing and other PED's, let me provide you with my favorite Sunday song, as only two legends can do..

Kris Kristofferson is one hell of a songwriter. Again, just throwing that out there; if you don't know now you know. Cheers.

Where'd I leave off..

2010-09-18T07:58:00.000-04:00

Aloha. In case you forgot who I am, my name is Matt. I moved from Maine to Hawaii some months ago. I started this blog about two years ago. Over those two years this is by far the longest I've gone between posts. I've been incredibly lazy these past couple weeks. Since I returned to Maui in August I've been leading the sad life of a working man, slaving away for damn near 40 hours of my week, working six out of seven days and all the while pretty much hating life. My past weeks have consisted of, more or less, the following:

-Rise sometime in the morning. If I work during the day then that's around 8. If I work at night then around 11.

-Put on ESPN2 for an hour or so on work days, to catch the Scott Van Pelt show highlights. These highlights are also generally the highlights of my day. SVP and Ryen Russillo are hilarious. Russillo is a New England guy,too, so that's always a solid.

-Go to work. If I work at night then I waste the day away by walking to the store to grab a couple of groceries or napping/tv watching, then go to work.

-Come home from work. Scour the internet for flights home for Liam's wedding and to see what happened in the world that particular day on ESPN, CNN, Fox News, and bbc. And Gmail and Facebook. And my work schedule. Watch Family Guy and Mike and Mike in the Morning, both of which begin at midnight.

-Fall asleep.

Fucking pathetic, eh? I live on a beautiful island with beaches and sun and plenty to do...and for the most part I go to work or waste time until I go to work. What the shit is wrong with me?! I am a loser.

--

Not that blogging will make me cool. Just, why would I blog when I don't. do. anything. It's just not interesting. The things that have crossed my mind and made me laugh recently are Family Guy clips. And I guess I can only post so many Family Guy clips where the bulk of the post is THE clip, with nothing more for me to say other than, "I thought it was funny." The clips have no direct link to any aspect of my life besides me enjoying Family Guy and it's on every night at midnight so there's a pretty strong chance I'm awake to catch it. It's just become a part of my day. Most Family Guys have at least one clip that I find quite funny, which then makes me want to see if youtube has the clip, and if youtube has the clip then I think I should post it. Usually, however, I don't bother. A lot of the good ones aren't on there at all, or are only on there in foreign languages. Most scenes just aren't as funny when you can't understand what is being said.

--

I started watching The Informant! a couple of weeks ago. The plot was pretty lame but I found the inner monologue of Matt Damon's character hilarious. And he had a killer mustache, which was nice. Somewhere I read that someone had a "molestache." AKA molest-stache. AKA molester stache. I thought it was pretty funny. I hope some people consider my lip sweater to be working its way into the molestache category.

This was intended to be more about Damon's internal monologue being eerily similar to how I go through most of my days feeling like I talk to myself nonstop. Is this normal? Do other people constantly have ridiculous thoughts going through their heads that just drift from one starting point and slowly tangent outward and outward and outward. Thought entropy, really. Nonstop. Earlier this week the song "Your Woman" popped into my head at work. I knew it was sung by a group that had "white" in its name. White Town. I don't recall why I thought of this but the video is pretty neat, silent film style..

But anyways a couple of weeks ago I was leaving work after a day shift and I was walking through the shopping center/district that Hula Grill is on the edge of (bike parking is at the front of this center. Whaler's Village. Lot of classy stores (Louis V, Galleries, etc) mixed in with surf clothiers (Volcom, Quicksilver, Billabong, etc) mixed in with cheap ass "island items" stores that sell knick knacks and random ass shit. Kind of funky but it's a popular tourist spot as it's got a few hotels on either side of it and, of course, Hula Grill draws a crowd..) and I had my headphones on and a little jazz session going on in my head (not jazz as in jazz music, but jazz as in "impromptu performance." The D-backs coach at Bates would always say that when you intercept a pass or scoop a fumble that it was time for a jazz session. I thought it was silly, but catchy. He's the same guy who would also interrupt any time you fucked up and started to say "I thought it was.." with "You thought you farted but you shit your pants." He's a character..) with some boardshorts and a random ass t-shirt on (I think it was my new USA tie dye. If you haven't seen it yet I'll try to wear it more. Picked it up from the Mystical Emporium when I was home in July. It's swell..) headed back to my bike to ride off into the sunset when I passed some people and one of the guys said, "Hey, that's the guy from the Hula Grill."

Clearly my nappy ponytail and skeevy mustache attracts some attention, but it's nice to know that people comment about my steeze to their friends and family. Multiple servers have told me they've overheard their guests joke that I could be Ron Jeremy's younger brother. That one is a mixed blessing, as my goal in life is not to be a short, fat man. But clearly my upper lip has taken on a personality all its own. Multiple isn't ten, but three. Three's enough to know there's plenty of silly banter sparked by the goodness I've got going on. That's good enough for me. I guess this is just another step in the escalator that is my look. There have been some downs brought on by institutions of higher learning which claim to promote egalitarian perspectives within the liberal arts but are quite oppressive in regards to the hair length possessed by their young coaches. But hey, I got a mullet out of the deal for a couple of months so I guess it was worth it. As things stand today these hairs won't be touched by the cold steel or barbershop Fiskars for quite some time. And we can leave it at that and go on our merry ways..

--

I think I'm crazy but I'm 90% sure that by the end of the weekend I'll have registered to run a marathon in January. I need something to kick start my training mindset so giving myself four months to gear up will provide enough time to not kill myself and overtrain but also a short enough span that I'll need to start doing something ASAP. There's a marathon here on Sunday that finishes right close to where I work so I'll probably wander down and check it out. They were doing a bunch of setting up today so the bike racks I usually park at got moved to a couple parking spaces in the parking garage. I feel way to classy being able to park my bike under a roof for the next three days.

But I think it would be an alright goal. Marathons aren't about talent, just persistence. I feel like once I get going not wanting to embarrass myself will be enough motivation to hit the pavement most days of the week. I have a feeling I'll probably hurt myself and not be able to work for a few days after the run, but what the hell. I need something to do. Motivation as an adult sucks; I need to find a way to build activity into my life. Wish me luck. Cheers (and it's good to be back. Missed the few of you who have been missing my words...Maine-dogs I'll be back 207 from Oct 11-25. Fall in Maine. Can't wait. No proofread tonight, either. I'll try to look it over tomorrow...or the next day..)

Now that my mustache is established..

2010-08-28T06:49:00.000-04:00

Maybe I should learn to speak Italian. I need a hobby, right? Cheers.

I think I missed a killer sunset tonight..

2010-08-24T06:39:00.000-04:00

..and that really grinds my gears because I wasn't doing anything of consequence. I got out of work at five and had some dinner (well, really it's lunch because I eat breakfast around 9am and then don't eat again until after I get off the floor, then have more to eat around 8 or 9pm..) and then rode home. When I got up the hill I ride every day that overlooks the golf course I saw that it was kind of cloudy over the water so I made a mental note to check out the sunset...then promptly forgot once I walked in the door. A little after six thirty I looked out the balcony window and saw pinks and purples through the clouds and said, "Shit." I grabbed my camera and hopped on my bike to ride down to the park to get a good view but the sun was already well down and the sunset was over with. Shucks. Sometimes you take things for granted out here. The sunset is nice every day, especially the days I'm getting paid to watch it, but it really grinds my gears when I miss a good one. I still haven't got a mind-blowing one on camera yet. Maybe tomorrow..

I'm talking to my manager tomorrow about getting time off for Liam's wedding. I think I need two weeks. That makes sense for a wedding, right? I'll make it happen. Barring a catastrophe or a delay I'll be back at Gipper's on Thursday, October 14. Write it down. Also, I threw this out on the facebook and I don't think many people read this because I post so infrequently but I'm planning to head to Burlington to catch The Black Crowes' two night stand at Higher Ground on Tuesday, Oct. 19 & Wednesday, Oct.20. If you want to see some killer music then let me know pretty soon; some of you may be getting a friendly inquiry from me. I get paid Thursday of this week so after I buy my plane ticket home I'll be scooping tickets so let me know if you're in. Sounds like they're playing two sets a night - one electric and one acoustic. While this is their 20th anniversary it's also sounding more and more like a farewell tour as things progress so I don't plan to miss out. An "indefinite haitus" is scheduled following the tour's conclusion in San Fran.

If you live in or around Burlington expect some contact from me, too. I plan to neither sleep in a car nor a hotel so someone hook a brother up!

These guys are the "Most 'Rock & Roll' Rock & Roll Band of all time!" What's not to like? Cheers.

I don't know why I haven't posted these earlier..

2010-08-18T04:13:00.000-04:00

Straight off the rock...Hawaii's not so subtle ad campaign against teen meth use..

Yikes. Stuff sounds pretty serious. Don't do meth, kids. NOT EVEN ONCE..

I know these both say Montana Meth Project at the end, but trust me when I say these are the same commercials that come on during my Family Guy and South Park shows. Quite a downer. They put posters up all over the place, too. Pleasant. It sounds like it's working, though. Shocking what happens when you just try to scare the shit out of kids. This is like D.A.R.E. on steroids: instead of threatening kids with incarceration these folks just cut to the chase and show the tweakers. Novel concept: "Hey kid: Don't be that guy, alright?"

Enough of this negativity...time for a good, ol' reliable knee slapper:

Cheers.

Out of it..

2010-08-16T06:41:00.000-04:00

The last day or two I've been in a pretty good funk. I think it started Wednesday. I was working a dinner shift, just kind of going through the motions doing my thing clearing a table and a server came over and just said thanks for doing a good job and always being in a good mood and I just kind of laughed it off and said something along the lines of, "Let's be serious, it's just wiping up dirty tables." And for whatever reason my own sentiment on my job has sort of been sticking in my craw for the last couple days. And it's pretty silly because, yeah, in the whole scheme of things I get paid to clean up tables. But at the same time I get paid more than well enough to get by, and I get to live in a pretty nice setting. So while I was at my job when I came to a realization that something (or things, I suppose..) in my life are making me feel not quite right, I'm fairly certain that my discontent does not stem directly from my job. Which is good, I guess?

At the same time I have sort of been in mercenary mode recently. Well, I didn't know I was in mercenary mode until I coined the term while I was on the john earlier today. Basically, I came back with a goal to make some moo-la-moo between landing back on the rock at the end of July and leaving the rock in October for Liam's wedding and I've sort of become consumed with that goal, which is kind of silly. Dollars are useful from time to time but I need to start living by the other tenants of the TS Restaurants mission statement, which include having fun and with aloha. Yep, that sounds nice. Hell, the last two days I didn't work and I didn't make it out of the apartment I'm staying in. How lame is that? I live on the beach, gosh darn it, and I'm pretty pasty white right now. This [apathy] cannot stand, man..

In other news I went through some old drafts of posts I had started but never finished and these videos were from back in January. I guess I thought they were funny back then. The first one is hilarious and one we used to listen to all the time back in the day and laugh pretty hard to. The other two aren't as funny as I remembered them to be. Well, the last one is funny, because most Family Guy is funny. The Muppets tried the corner and missed. Just a bit outside, in my humble opinion. They're no Wayne, Garth, & Co. But still use them to waste a few minutes of your day. Carry on. Cheers.

The WEED Man.

Muppets do Bohemian Rhapsody.

Family Guy Plywood Cutouts:

Baywatch is on Comedy Central tonight..

2010-08-13T06:13:00.000-04:00

I have nothing better to do, so I'm watching an episode right now. I don't ever recall seeing an episode before. This is hilarious. The Hoff just saved some buxom surfer's life in six feet of water. She had on a wet suit, but when he got to her it was necessary to remove said wet suit to reveal a thong bikini. Well played, David.

Next scene is the two of them in a room filling out an incident report. The Hoff has redressed. The blond is still letting her puppies breathe. It began:

Hoff: Okay, what's your name, miss?
Girl: Destiny.
Hoff: And your last name?
Girl: Just Destiny.
Hoff: Oh, that's an unusual name..
Girl: Not if it's meant to be...

HAH. These writers were gold. I don't see how this show isn't still on today, like Law & Order. I can't for the life of me figure out what went wrong.

The show was also cool because it had a three minute intro. That's genius. If you waste three minutes just running through the credits then that's three less minutes you have to fill dialogue and plot. It's the female asses that put the asses in the seats, not the talkie talkie. Another brilliant move, gentlemen.

Side note: Blogger doesn't recognize "dialogue" as a word. Are you kidding me? That's farting ridiculous...

--

I spent a bunch of time (wasted a bunch of time..) making another animated film but it's taking a long gosh darn time to load or process or whatever. So I guess a replay of my first goofiness will have to do for now.

Hopefully things will be shipshape tomorrow. I'm confident it'll be the nuts. TTFN. Cheers.

Odd thought..

2010-08-10T15:23:00.000-04:00

I guess I have a lot of odd thoughts, but just had to get this bit of pondering out there. Came to my while on my two wheeler last night headed home:

You know how sometimes you start drinking and just sit there for awhile drinking, usually in a bar or a basement or on a deck (lanai for some..). Somewhere that you luck out and someone else is always fetching the beers so you don't have to get up for like, two or three hours straight. And you just started drinking then so you don't have to get up to pee pee for a long time (unless your Sam or Camps, this really can't apply to you since you guys go every 10 minutes when you're sipping..). Then after all that time and all that booze you stand up and get all stumbly and realize: "Holy smokes...I'm pretty shitcanned right now."

Your night can never quite rebound from there because the hooch snuck up on ya Ashton Kutcher top-rope Punk'd style. It's not necessarily a bad night, it's just a night that the booze snuck up on ya.

Well, what happens with people in wheelchairs...do they ever know they're drunk? Is remaining seated alcohol's kryptonite? If you never get up, do you never get drunk? I may need a bed pan and a bottle of Jack to test this hypothesis..

--

In other news...I started working again yesterday. I work eleven hours (ya...double digit hours..) today alone. I think four weeks may have been a bit too much to take off...I really didn't want to go back to work. I suppose no one really wants to work. My Grandpa would always say, "Work ain't work unless you don't like what you're doing." Truer words have never been spoken..

I more or less have to work now, as Liam and Rachel's wedding is in just over two months. Man, that date crept up. Maybe because invitations still haven't been mailed out...then again maybe it's just because 30 days aren't as long as they used to be. It'll be nice to be in Maine during the fall, though. Good call, guys. It wouldn't be a real fall if I was without Wallingford's cider donuts and a leaf peeping hike or two and a chilly (but not too chilly..) trip to the ocean and going to one of Skip's fooseball games. All should be able to be squeezed in, if all goes well...Cheers.

Big Island, big view..

2010-08-09T06:00:00.017-04:00

As today is my last day before I return to work I just kind of felt like hanging out all day. I may go for a jog later on, but we'll have to see about that. Each day I've been back on Maui I've been saying I'm going to run...and it hasn't really happened yet. I seem to be lacking a routine...maybe I just need a good kick in the ass. That's neither here nor there right now because it's hot out and I'm going to wait until the sun starts to go down before I reconsider that whole "exercising" thing. Right now I've got the Big Island back on my mind.

I had been mulling over the best way to recap this trip and I was struggling because even as I was taking pictures I knew none of them really did this location its due justice. This place was, to sum: unreal. I've been to a couple of picturesque oceanfront houses in Maine and neither of these really hold a candle to where I lived for three days, in my humble opinion. I guess the only place I've been that I could try to compare and contrast would be Haggerty's grandparents' place off the coast of Harpswell. Literally off the coast of Harpswell, on an island. Long Island. Long Island, Maine. Not that other, shittier, longer Long Island. And at the northern end of Long Island, away from the other houses and buildings and roads so the only way there is by boat. That's how you "get away from it all."

But this post isn't about Long Island, it's about Keaau, Hawaii. So let me narrate a bit as to how this all transpired. About the only person I still talk to from my coaching days at Bates is the women's track coach, Jay. Jay's husband has pretty deep Hawaiian roots. Haole roots, but roots all the same. Jay's husband, Andy, had a great great great (I think that's enough greats..) grandpappy who was a missionary headed to Micronesia but stopped in Lahaina so his wife could give birth. They ended up moving to the Big Island, Hawaii, rather than continuing on so this guy's son, William H. Shipman, grew up on Hawaii, went to the mainland to be educated, then headed back to Hawaii to begin business enterprises. In the 1880's he and two other guys bought up 70,000 acres that were being sold by a recently deceased Hawaiian king for $20,000 and within two years this Shipman fellow bought out his two partners. Crafty, crafty. This land was super fertile so he leased much of it to farmers and he and his family have more or less been reaping the rewards ever since.

This land also had a killer beach, Haena Beach,and nice beaches are few and far between on the east side of Hawaii. It's a lot like Hana on Maui as it has a rocky, jagged coastline. So this land is pretty posh. This all relates to me because in the very early 1900's this Shipman guy built a couple of houses on the ocean shore deep within his land, just behind this beautiful Haena Beach. I've been told the land looks like a pizza slice, and the houses are at the center of the crust. Hawaii has a state law that all beaches are public so people can get to the beach, but they have to walk three or four miles in along the shore and the rest of the land is private. In one house resides Andy's uncle who is now the president of W.H. Shipman, Ltd., and the other house is known as the Shipman Beach House and anyone who has Shipman blood running through their veins can book it out. And since there are six bedrooms in this house and I was already in the Hawaiian Islands I got the invite over to spend some days there. Lucky me.

I spent some time trying to find a way to show this on a map and wikipedia hooked it up the easiest. For whatever reason when I typed in "auburn, me" it wasn't a location, but Haena Beach (And the Shipman Puna properties..) both were. So on a very vanilla scale this is what I was looking at:

From Hilo, the biggest city on Hawaii's east side, you headed south seven or eight miles and then banged a left onto two or three miles of gates, gravel backroads through macadamia nut trees, banana trees, papaya trees, etc, then through another gate and onto a mile or two of paved (ya...paved. Blacktop. Let's just say a couple miles of blacktop isn't cheap and just leave it at that..) road through a gosh darn jungle until you pop out onto the Shipman property. From here I'll leave you with pictures and captions. I spent a little time in Volcanoes National Park and a little time in Hilo at a farmer's market and at Akaka Falls a little north of Hilo, but other than that I hung out here. I think I got my money's worth..

There she is: The Shipman Beach House..

From da front..

Through the palm trees, on da beach..

From da side. That's a freshwater spring that runs into the ocean.
Complete with carp and various other freshwater fish. Not too shabby..

While I was taking pictures sitting here two workers came up to make sure I wasn't a local trespassing.
Most everyone else I was with was pretty pale and red-headed. I guess I stuck out..

Through the palms, to da beach..

Mi haciendo..

View, through the screen and slats, from my room. A-OK..

Left side, circa oh seven hundred..

Strong side, still circa oh seven hundred..

Later in the day..

More should come sometime down the line. I got bird pictures, turtle pictures, volcano pictures, interior pictures, waterfall pictures, flower pictures, jungle pictures. I think I took too many pictures.

But I think you get the idea. Plenty of peace and tranquility going on. Felt pretty damn lucky to be there. Still feel pretty damn lucky. Thanks Jay and Andy. Cheers.

207 Recapped in word, picture, and musical tributes..

2010-08-08T21:29:00.001-04:00

I haven't worked since July 13th. That seems so long ago. It is so long ago. Damn near a month. But things start back up tomorrow. Here are some things that occurred while I was in the 207 for a couple of weeks...I don't have a lot of pictures from my two weeks but the highlight was a Maine steamed dinner with my folks and Mr. Gallagher, who always seems to find his way to my house when the Capone's chow down on lobstah..

It wasn't totally traditional: we didn't have corn on the cob but but did have plenty of Marie's kick ass 'tater salad, but a good time was had by all and at the end of the afternoon we all had full bellies. As I sit back and reflect on my time in Vacationland it appears that, while I was home for two weeks, the days went by in the blink of an eye (a young girl's eye, that is..).
Though things moved quickly the timing was perfect. Most all of my friends were home or made it home for the weekend festivities.

After having a delightful Flatbread dinner in Portland's Old Port with my folks for their 31st anniversary the fun never stopped. After a Mattie family reunion in CT and some delicious chicken I traveled through Greater Boston for a couple of days to see some fellow Batesies too lazy to drive to Maine to see me. Jerks, more or less. Also had a delightful walk around Cambridge, more specifically Harvard's campus on Monday afternoon while most people were stuck in their respective offices.

This is how we cooked chicken in Mattie country, aka Limerick, Maine.
In a rotisserie basket over hot coals. Un-be-lievable..

Squeezed three rounds of golf into my first week, two with Skip and one with Nicholas; drank plenty of beer and cracked plenty of jokes. I got my money's worth, as this is most certainly how not to finish a golf swing..

Pitiful iron shot all the way around...no wonder I spray'em like little league bp..

Got a chance to show off on the grill early on and impress KathV's Hamiltonian friends as well as some other high school buddies whom I hadn't seen it quite some time. The following weekend found the boys together for Liam's mostly tame but exceedingly fun bachelor party (about what you'd expect with anything associated with young Mr. Gallagher..) which was able to end at Camp Fletch like many good, summer times always seem to.

We managed to rally the following evening to engage in the usual pre-Fletcher 5k festivities poolside at the Lawler residence and per usual the banter and shenanigans were top notch. Nick graciously took his usual heel turn when he brought down the thunder on KathV and Jenny Goldberg-spear-style shortly after sundown. No surprises there, really.

When it rains sometimes you gotta improvise with the garage...I think this was when Nick destroyed the beer pong table, too...well done all around, Nicholas..

Nick, however, wasn't laughing quite as hard following the next morning's 5k..

Just happy to be there..

Speaking of the 5k, registration was up over 600 again and it was great to see everyone who came out to support such a worthy cause. I ran with my ma and it was fun. Too hot, but fun. It was a great "end" to my trip, as even though I had a couple days left before I flew out I was ready to do absolutely nothing and kick it at home. Which was, more or less, what I did, other than putting my baby out to pasture..

And Gipper's. Of course, there was Gipper's. It was great to see Mel, Karen, and all the girls plenty of times, especially Thursdays with Mr. Haggerty. Thursdays at Gip's is about all the I miss about roofing. Not really, but really. Man, I miss Gipper's. Camps: have some wings for me, k?

So thanks to all of you from the 207 who made my visit home a memorable one. I think I've name dropped more in this post than I have in the entire 21+ month history of the 'Pad. If you got mentioned then congratulations. If you did not, I apologize. Maybe next time around..

See you in October, 207...Cheers.

Aloha: 2.0

2010-08-01T00:37:00.000-04:00

Traveling by plane weirds me out to a certain extent. When I was taking the red eye back home a couple of weeks ago after about four hours of flight time it occured to me that flying in a plane is almost like time travel. I mean, I don't travel a lot but when I think about traveling 6000 miles in less than a day my brain kind of turns to mush. It just says," Okay...if you say so." It just doesn't compute. Sci-Fi stuff. I brought this up to a couple of people back home and was met with laughs and shoulder shrugs. I may be alone on this one. This feeling of incomprehensibility may also relate to the fact for the previous six-ish months prior to my trip home I could count the number of times I've been in a car on my fingers and toes, without re-counting fingers or toes. That means I was in a car less than 20 times. I can't put my finger on what makes foot and bike travel different, it was just a little weird to me. Perhaps I just feel more comfortable traveling a bit slower than most. Perhaps I just failed in an attempt to come off as profound. Either way, flying's pretty silly.

My ma asked me yesterday what it was like to fly over tons and tons of water and I told her I didn't know because my first trip over I sat in the middle aisle without a view outside and my trip back was a red eye and by the time the sun came up we were already back on land. Watching the sun come up over the desert and mountains and clouds was pretty intsense on that occasion, I must say, but that doesn't really relate to what I was talking about. As I'm now traveling back across the open ocean and I have a view outside I really don't see a whole lot of difference. Clouds block most of your view of the ground so for the most part it looks the same as traveling over land. The was a few minutes where I looked up and the clouds were quite thin so much of the blue from the ocean (remember, I'm in the Pacific now so I don't worry about tar balls. Just giant conglomerations of plastic that collects miles wide...but again, stories for another day..) and I thought it looked similar to what people might see if they flew in a puddle jumper over much of the Arctic. Big chunks of ice separated by deep, blue ocean. I, however, have never been anywhere remotely close to the Arctic so this is really just the Discovery Channel talking. This does make me want to check out Alaska, though. That'd be a good time, I reckon.

It also kind of looks like you're looking down at the sky. This is also a bit disconcerting as you can't actually look down at the sky. But the clouds are there, and you're over the clouds and underneath is blue ocean but it looks like blue sky. WILD AND CRAZY.

--

In other news, while I'm coming back to the islands after a two week trip home I still have another week before I start work up again. I've got a couple days to hang out before I'm taking a trip over to the Big Island to meet up with my friend Jay and her family. Her husband has family on the big island and (from what I've been told..) they have a rather large plantation house where I can lay my head for a couple of days before I have to get back to the office. I expect a swell time, and you should expect some pictures of a new locale. I think it'll be the perfect vacation before I have to get back to work. This will also be my first inter-island travel, so I've got that going for me...which is nice. While this was my first "vacation," I'd be pretty bummed if I had to go back to work the day after a serious flight (Like from Maine...not from the Big Island..) after taking time away from work. I think a vacaction after your vacation is the way I'm going to try to do things for a little while. And by a little while I mean as long as I can, haha. At worst I plan to leave at least a day off upon my return to the island prior to returning to work, just to make sure I've had time to shake the rust off. Going home was stressful, lemme tell ya..

Slight diversion here: As I sit on this 777 typing while I head back to my island I've just begun to realize that while I'm going back to what I call home I don't actually have a home there. I'll be couch crashing for at least a few days and I have no difinitive plan on where I'll be staying. I laughed this off when I was packing up my little bits of junk and storing them at friends' places, but now it's starting to hit me that quite soon I'll need to figure out a place to live. In a perfect world I hoped to be coming back to a 3 bedroom place ready for an August 1 move in...but this does not seem to be perfect world as I have no 3 bedroom place to move into. Zoinks! Could be looking for another room in a random house quite soon, which would really make me feel flat. It'll all get sorted out though, I'm sure. Right?

On the work subject you should all be happy to know that, much to my dismay, I was named Hula's employee of the month for June. Luckily I was in Maine when this occured as I don't enjoy attention being drawn to me in professional settings. Only social settings, I suppose, and that's not so much because I enjoy it but because I tend to be a little bit more ridiculous than most and for whatever reason that seems to attract stares from time to time. So it goes. Anyways, I don't like the idea of coming in and rocking the boat; I just enjoy going about my business under the radar. The book I'm reading is a memoir of sorts of a Brit who drove around backwater towns in America and wrote what he saw. In one Louisiana town he stopped and met a prision inmate who was the editor of the prision's monthly (or bi-monthly...I don't recall at this moment..) magazine, a magazine that, over his time as editor, had been responsible for yard-sale positive changes within the prision, firings of certain people of power within the prison, and the release of innocent inmates. The magazine had an outside subscription of close to 30,000 people around the country (as of the year 2000-ish..), including many journalists looking for leads to stories for themselves. Anywhoo this guy has been locked up for quite some time and has seen many people who committed the same crime he did (murder in the first degree) have their life sentences commuted and parole granted. He felt that he had no chance of being released due to the notoriety he had gained as the edior of the magazine. He feels that to have any success in getting out of prison you have to basically be annonymous within the system.

Man, how I wanted to remain annonymous within the Hula Grill. As Bob Dylan sang awhile back: " 'It's my work,' he'd say. 'I do it for pay. And when it's over I'd just as soon go on my way.' " It's not like I wanted to skate by or anything; it may sound sick and twisted but I do enjoy what I do and have never had a problem working hard. I just don't like people talking about the fact I tend to work fairly hard. I don't sweat it too much if I work with other people who are fine skating by and I have to do more than my share of the work, as has happened in other professions over my years in various crumby jobs. I just do what I do, you just do what you do, and everything's gravy. Hopefully when I return to work August 6th everyone will have forgotten about little, old me. JAG: just another guy. That would be tremendous.

The $100 gift certificate is a nice touch, though. As is the longboard trophy for my mantle...Cheers.

Tip a 40oz..

2010-07-28T19:49:00.001-04:00

Today was a bittersweet day for me. It had been a long time coming but today I finally had to do something about the Blue Goose. Since I picked her up the last day of June, 2008, I hadn't looked back. Damn near 20,000 miles later I've come to realize we did a lot of great things together. From day-to-day commuting to Lewiston to scantily-planned yet ultimately tremendous trips to Virginia and Tennessee there aren't a lot of spots in the northeast I saw without getting there behind the wheel of my 24 year old, four wheeled friend. It was a good run, kid. A great run, to be even more appropriate..

Since I hopped into the driver's seat a few hours after I touched down in Portland the end was in sight but I put off this day as long as I could. I had grandiose dreams of firing the Goose up just like before I had left, driving it for a few more days, lining a shady mechanic to get an inspection sticker on it then and then craigslisting the shit out of it for close to what I had paid for it. But when I hopped in it that fateful evening the battery was dead, the emergency brake had rusted to the rear wheels, and the brakes, well, didn't really enjoy braking anymore. I saw the writing on the wall: my baby was headed to a junkyard..

Semi-Sidenote: When I got home a couple Wednesdays ago I hopped into the same 1986, rusting, un-inspected, old bucket of bolts that intimidated most of its passengers. These intimidated folks (most likely afflicted with conditions of wimpitis and/or sissy syndrome, though sandy vag could be another possibility..) looked at my baby as nothing more than blueberry dump while I looked at the Bird as a friend that was a little rough around the edges, yet could always be trusted. I found the whole to truly be much greater than the some it its (mostly questionable..) parts.

Naysayers will mention that I never paid for a sticker for it and that me driving it without one for quite some time doesn't cover up the fact she had bald tires, bad brakes, rust holes straight through and bad shocks. To these haters I respond: Walk. Whether the temp was 101 or -1 or anything in between she fired up on the first go round and never looked back. Outside of it's price tag, oil changes and gas its only additional costs were new front tires and a new clutch cable. Two grand plus gas for 20,000 miles...I'll take that all the way to the bizzank every day of the week. They just don't make cars like that any more..

Luckily I knew just the place to bring my baby and that was the place I took it to get serviced a couple of times over the last couple years: AC Auto in Leeds. The proprietor, Al Wheeler, specializes in older Volvo repair and has himself quite a collection. It's a veritable Volvo graveyard out there behind his shop. Basically it's the perfect place for my baby Goose. I look at it as her heading out to pasture; she now resides at the no-kill shelter, rather than a glue factory. That will help me sleep easy tonight. Now time for some baby photos of today's trip..

And some memories of me and the Goose from the last couple years...we've seen some shit together..

It was weird being home and driving my folks cars around - they both have new Nissans these days. New just isn't me. When I'd drive around and goof off to the music or stare at pretty girls I just wouldn't feel cool...I'd feel like a dork. The Goose didn't make me feel self-conscious like these new-fangled automobiles. We went together like peas and carrots..

Just like my previous gem, the Red Dragon, the Blue Goose was all me. It epitomized my steeze. Well, actually, in the nature of full disclosure: it didn't have a crank sun roof. Next time around when I get a 240 wagon, I suppose..

In lieu of a proper eulogy feel free to share your favorite memories below. She was a good egg. Cheers.

Maine-ly Swell..

2010-07-22T03:03:00.001-04:00

I was really, truly, going to write something of substance today. I clicked on Blogger in the AM but then I took a nap. Then I ran some errands, ate some pasta and watched Seinfeld with my mom, played with a 2 year old, went to Gritty's Brew Pub then across the street to the former Midnight Blues Club& Muddy Waters Cafe; the new name escapes me now but the new name is beside the point of this short narrative..

Anywho there was a sick cover band playing of high school-ish looking fellows. It was impressive because it was Phil Collins-esque: the lead singer banged away on drums all night. They were solid, very good actually. But an older gentleman with one leg playing between sets laid down a kick ass cover of a more obscure song from an album I picked up a couple years back by a Maine-dog who has been playing out of Texas for awhile now. First heard hime on WCLZ.

But, man, the song is a favorite of mine. Well played, old timer..

This caused me to get home after close and listen to the album before bed, and while that was on I noticed Slightly Stoopid immediately followed "Slaid Cleaves" in my iTunes library. I saw Slightly Stoopid a little bit ago. They were swell. I talked about them today when I talked to J.Mac on my cellular telephone for the first time since he left the Vally Isle.

I didn't think I had any Ess Tee Double Oh Pee Eye Dee in my library but when I saw I had downloaded this track from WLCZ's website I decided to check out their homepage where I saw a Lucinda Williams song was on air. Good tune it is, too, off of a good album..

So after Slaid Cleaves' cd ended and I got a little Stoopid Car Wheels on A Gravel Road was played. It's been quite a night, and a hell of a day, lemme tell ya...Cheers.

Homeward Bound..

2010-07-13T15:32:00.000-04:00

Yep. Chapter 1 is in the books and I'm heading on my first vacation home, well, ever. All of my previous "vacations" involved heading away from good, ol' L/A. Now I'm making my triumphant return to town. Getcha popcorn ready. I'll need to find plenty to do to occupy my mind since I'm moving out of my current place at this very moment and stashing bags with two friends. So while I won't have a place to live upon my return...at least I have a job. And in this economy, that's saying something. Right? HAH. No stress, though. I'll sleep on the beach with the meth tweakers..

Credit to young Samuel for the video credit...and yes, Stop Making Sense will be watched no less than five times while I'm home. It's packed.

See ya'll at Gipper's on Thursday at 9pm. Can't wait. I'd expect more from the plane, but no promises. Cheers (And yes. When I board I'll tell the flight attendant to tell the pilot not to crash. So all will be well Trust me..).

Stick'em up, punk..

2010-07-08T17:45:00.000-04:00

Woke up this morning and thought of this. Don't know what triggered it, but these guys are classics. Scooby Snacks and its Reservoir Dogs samples might be a bit better overall but this song is still a keeper:

Cheers.

Happy 4th; (Hopefully) A sign of things to come..

2010-07-04T16:57:00.000-04:00

Aloha!

Clearly my focus over the last month or so has not been on this little piece of the "internet." I'd like to say I'm sorry, but Jenn always said don't say sorry unless you mean it and so I'm not really sorry. I'm lazy.

I should have time to post here, just for whatever reason over the last couple weeks I haven't felt like writing. I've done some pretty fun stuff; I just haven't put fingers to keys to describe what I've been doing in my usual semi-eloquent, mostly silly fashion. I've started posts multiple times only to find them left unsaved or saved but never returned to.

I hope today can be me getting back on track. It's the 4th of July, possibly my favorite holiday because it means lots of food on the grill, beer in the fridge and friends on the deck. Well, that's what it has meant over the last couple few years. This year I'll be working tonight so the grilling will have to be squeezed in to the early afternoon hours. SHUCKS. But for those of you back home reading who have spent some time on the deck in years past know this: The countdown is on. In just about 10 days time I'll be home for a couple of weeks. I'm quite excited about this. Holidays will be observed during this time, as I missed Memorial Day and now the 4th.

Now that I'm writing I actually have more to say now but I want to get four miles in on the 4th, well, because I've never done it before and I haven't run in a couple of weeks so this seems like a good day to get back on track in more ways than one. So Happy 4th to all, Love and miss most of you and have a great afternoon.

Now, a country favorite that fits the holiday:

Can't wait to drive the Blue Bird. Cheers.

Writer's Block..

2010-06-17T14:55:00.001-04:00

I'm sure it's been more than a week since I've posted anything here, since it always seems like about a week goes by and then I think, "O snap. I should have something to say by now." And I usually do. Something's happened that's kind of silly and I can pull that out of my hat and entertain myself while I re-create my encounter or thought in font and then hopefully entertain the couple of you who read whenever you get around to logging onto the "internet" and typing in the 'pad's url. But today I don't really have much to say. Maybe just a bullet point or two..

- I've been listening to my iPod on shuffle lately. I have 969 songs on there right now and I think just about all of them are acceptable tunes to go out to if I encounter an automobile while on my two wheeler. I find it comforting that if I go down and someone comes onto the scene and checks my iPod they won't be able to say "He was listening to THAT?! He probably deserved his fate.." I'm fairly confident my taste in music would please most any audience. This being said, I prefer to not get runned over any time soon..

- I rode up to McDonald's just now to try to find some inspiration to type, and all I found was an ability to get my computer on the "internet." This is only the second time it's happened but both times have gotten me pretty steamed. I don't particularly enjoy dining at McDonald's. I come for the "internet." A cheap meal is a nice perk onto that. But I don't come for the meal. So when the "internet" doesn't exist when I get settled here I leave feeling a little flat.

Today was a little different than the first time because I had a nice talk with a guy named Marty from Chino, CA. He's a fine fellow, fine enough that I let my McChicken get cold while we discussed Maui development, California politics and various other topics. Today talking to a person was better than talking to a computer screen. So, a kind thank you goes out to Marty. Cheers.

It was all good just a week ago..

2010-06-07T15:37:00.002-04:00

Last week for Memorial Day I grabbed dinner at Hula with some promo that I had. Nothing like a delicious dinner when only a tip is needed. Yum, yum. I had been meaning to do this for a long time so it made my day when I remembered my camera as I was heading out the door for work, and I remembered after work that I had it, too. It was a big day. I woke up from a beach nap as the sun was setting so I snapped some shots to get into the mood..

I messed around with the "Sunset" setting but it kind of sucked in my opinion. The 16x9 wide angle is a nice touch, though.

I just need to break down and spend some dinero on an SLR. Ya...maybe tomorrow...or not.

Post-sunset, tasty treats were everywhere..

They were so tasty, in fact, I forgot to take pictures before going to town on the plates..

These are my favorite dish on the menu. Poke Tacos. There were three...but two disappeared before I was reminded of my intentions to document the meal. It's raw yellowfin, ahi, tuna with sautéed onions with a wasabi drizzle and stood up with fresh avocado. They're out of sight. Every time I have dinner I get an order. If you looked up "tasty treat" in my dictionary you'd find a picture of these. And a picture with all three of them. Because that would probably look a little more professional..

This was a crispy beet and asian pear salad, with a side of feta..

My main course was a fire-grilled Ahi tuna steak. Normally it comes whole and not cut, but I prefer to get it "pu pu" style as I'm lazy and prefer to have other people cut up my food for me when I can. Cooked rare, of course. Served with a side of tangy, mashed potatoes and some kind of slaw that I have no idea what's in it but it sure tastes good..

O, another good treat: Jalapeño cornbread with a dollop of spiced-up butter. Unreal..

Mixed and matched:

And for desert: the Hula Grill homemade ice cream sandwich. Vanilla ice cream sandwiched between macadamia nut brownies and drizzled with raspberry sauce and fresh, whipped cream on the side. And if you know people you get sides of chocolate, caramel, and raspberry to kick it up another notch.

This took place about two hours after I ate my employee meal. Let's just say my two-wheeled ride home wasn't much fun, but it was acceptable after a swell dining experience. Man, do I like to eat...Cheers.

Busted up from the sauce..

2010-06-06T20:02:00.001-04:00

I didn't have a whole lot to do yesterday so after spending the morning sleeping in and the afternoon at the beach I figured I might as well have a few cocktails as I didn't really have much else to do. So in the middle of watching Toy Story and The Incredibles on one of the kiddie channels...might have been ABC Family...I took a quick two-wheeled trip to the grocer and picked up a bottle of Jimmy Beam and some cola. I toyed with going with some ginger ale but they didn't have any ginger ale in cans so I settled on the cola. Now I'm second guessing my choice because some ginger ale could probably help settle my belly ache right now. O well...hindsight is always 20/20.

This is actually kind of silly but while I was at the beach I was thinking quite a bit about useless nonsense and Disney World came up inside my noggin. O, actually I first started wondering whether the little kids who take vacations to out here really appreciate how good they have it. But before I could finish that thought I started thinking about how even though I didn't grow up filthy rich we were barely broke (any chance I have to throw out that Peter Gunz thought I'm going to jump on it..) and me and the fam were able to go to Disney World twice (TWICE!!) when I was a youngster, and that that was pretty damn cool.

But before I really thought more about it I went back into little kid mode and started wondering what little kids think of the Magic Kingdom these days...like, there are a bunch of new movies that have come out recently and I have no idea how they're being incorporated into the setup down there. Do little kids still get jacked up when they see Cinderella's castle and Snow White and Pluto, or do the new youngsters not have any idea about the original Disney storylines? I know Disney keeps re-releasing their old animated stuff on DVD and every new technology that comes out, but do little kids STILL enjoy them? They should, right? I mean, those movies were already pretty old when I was little and I still liked them a lot and still enjoy watching them every chance I get, but for whatever reason yesterday I got a little flat thinking that maybe the new kids on the block only care about the Ice Age characters and the Incredibles; the Pixar-style movies and that they've forgotten or don'r care for the old-style animation and fairy tale storylines. I hope that's not the case so if any of you out there work with or, gasp, HAVE little kids then let me know if kids still think Lady and the Tramp is the bees knees.

And what about things like the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse? Does some of that stuff just become relics that are more for parents than for the kids? It's just weird how out of touch I feel about this sort of thing. I WANT ANSWERS. I feel like even though a movie like that was still pretty old when I was little me and all my friends had still seen it and enjoyed it. But, shoots, that was damn near 20 years ago.

Long story short I think I need to make it to the greater Orlando area in the next year or two to see where things are at. This thought has perked my interest. Do people even still think Disney World is cool? I know I still do...and imagine it now on PED's?! UNREAL. Like Maine: Worth a visit, worth a lifetime.

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O, this didn't come to me yesterday but happened when I typed Cinderella: I'm sure it's already been made but Sinderella would be a pretty solid porn title. You could go a lot of directions there, what with the evil stepsisters, fairy godmother, the prince...furry animals. Things could get out of hand pretty quickly. Porn industry: Take notes.

I'll leave you on that. Cheers.