Upon further review...

Peanus is creepy, even for my warped sense of humor. The Helpful Bus, however, is absolutely hilarious. So my apologies for the former, but you'd better thank my ass for the latter. I'm batting .500 on the day; I'll take it. That is all. Cheers (and the Celts game is at the half and it's going to be a dicey 3rd and 4th...).

This is some good s...

And to throw it way, way, way back:

These just made my day. I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard. And this site is a personal fave of mine: Abstinenceonly.com. Pay special attention to anal abstinence, it will save your life. If you don't think all of this is hilarious then you need to check your sense of humor. PG Porn? Flat out awesome.

I've also decided I'm no longer sick. Sickness is only in the mind. I may not be able to hear. I may still be coughing up some wonderful delicacies. But when you pay forty f-ing dollars for a 10 day prescription for pills that are bigger than Cadbury Creme Eggs then I'd better get god damn healthy and it had better be now. It's on.

O, and how about my girl Allison winning the crowd last night. Usually I agree with Simon on his assessments but I was glad to see the crowd went against his picks this week. Matt was awful, and even with the so much producer support (starting on a giant staircase, fucking really?!) Adam is losing his touch. Way to much production, not backing it up anymore. He's Broadway (well, off-Broadway to be serious), Allison has got to let loose this week. Rock and roll week, with SLASH as the special guest?! It doesn't get any better than this! I'll get a pick out for Allison later, maybe tomorrow, but I've been screaming Grace Potter since Day 1 so that would be really cool to see her belt out some of that. It would be a little risky, Ms. Potter and the Nocturnals are not super popular so her song wouldn't be overly familiar, but I would like it a lot. That, and it would be nice to know once and for all she reads the 'Pad.

Celts Game 6 tonight? You'll certainly find me at Gippers. Cheers (to that, go Celts but Fuck NESN who will be giving up Game 2 of the Bruins series next week to presumably televise an early May Sox-Rays game. Fucking pathetic, and I'm not even a huge hockey fan. NESN should just get it over with and change its name to RSES Network, they're not fooling anyone saying they're about New England sports...)

Ron Paul tells it like it is:

Swine flu? Who gives a whippity shit about swine flu when Tb is still on the loose? You don't remember the Tb outbreak from the 70's? What's wrong with you? Ron Paul does. Because he's a doctor.

On a serious note, he makes an excellent point midway through: "Do bigger governments always solve these problems? They usually make them much worse." States-Rights! States-Rights! I'm a Ron Paul fan, you all know that. Paul 2012, right it down (get it?! get it?!). Cheers.

Guess it's been awhile...

I don't the last time I've been on here writing and that's a bad thing. This cold (they still called it a sinus infection today...but that's just too long. I'm going to keep calling it a cold...) has seriously ended my life. I'm no fun to be around. I haven't been able to hear for 8 days (and counting...) and the doc said today it could be another week or two before that "ability" comes back...fuckers. And the first nurse I saw was the same one I saw last week. The first thing she said when she saw me: "So, are you sure you haven't been to Mexico recently? HAHAHA (Seriously, laughing hard at her joke). Actually, that's not funny. Not funny at all." Actually, yes. Yes, it is (Because I laughed and immediately started coughing. But it was worth it).

They did give me some horse pills. And some steroids. But no pain killers. Hopefully this cocktail will work, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

And, yes, I broke into the quackery realm and I've used a Neti pot the last couple of days. To marginal success. Monday I tried to use it before I went to work and the water wouldn't come out the other side. How miserable and I, you ask? Very miserable...

Tip: the alternating toe touches really make it work, though, so if you try it don't forget that part.

Anyways it's Tuesday so you know I watched Idol. Allison killed it, Matt sucked, Adam was way too Broadway for me. Same old same, but I'll be rip shit if Allison ends up going home, Simon is an asshole.

Funny blogs I've stumbled upon:
64 Miller Lites. Named from a popular Wade Boggs story from his playing days. Only was around for a couple of months in early 2008 but had some excellent material during it's 17-post run. And their praise of Marshawn Lynch led me to his personal site. Seriously, how can a first round NFL pick have a site this shitty? At least his blog is amusing...and HILARIOUS bio, too.

Another funny one from 64ML's: Stuff White People Like. Funny, because I'm white and I like most of the stuff that's mentioned. Most recently: Ed Hardy sucks. And hummus is good. These fuckers got a book deal pointing out what white people like in semi-humorous and ironic ways...sonofabitch.

Video of the day:

Nothing like a drunk discount sale...

Music Video of the week:

It's the 80's in it's prime. Billy Joel. Huey Lewis. Kenny Rogers (looks the same as he does today), The Boss, and it's the 80's so Kenny Loggins had a prominent role. Among others. Apparently SNL did a spoof of this because it was the 80's and SNL was funny in the 80's so they'd do funny things like spoof this unintentionally funny music video but youtube had no evidence of this. However, I was led (somehow...) to Cat Stevens. Watch this video of a small acoustic performance with pillows on the floor and smoke and bells and goofy shit and tell me he didn't just cruise the country in the 60's and 70's with his beard and bobbing hair and head gyrations and hip sways saying, "Oh, hi. My name's Cat. I play guitar and write my own music. Want to go to bed together? I'll write a song about you.."

With 10,000,000 young and innocent hippie-free-loving-girls saying yes. Jerk. Cheers.

--

ps. I'm confident these drugs are going to take and I will be back to writing more regularly in the coming days. Thanks for bearing with me during these hard and difficult times. Let me put it this way: I laid off MD for the first Saturday in 6 weeks because of how bad I was/am feeling. I'm not making this up - it's a son of a bitch. I enjoy you use me as a distraction during the day, and I enjoy needing a distraction during the day other than coughing, blowing my nose and trying not to pass out on my keyboard. Better days are near, mark my words..

It's 12:30 am Sunday morning

Think about this when you go to church today:

Religion can be scary. Cheers.

If you believe in Dinosaurs

Then you may be interested to know that there was a longer span of years between the first dinosaurs and the Tyrannosaurus Rex (85 million years) than between the Tyrannosaurus Rex and us (65 million years). That and these "scientists" say dinosaurs are not extinct because there are still birds kicking around. Whatever you say, guys. All I know is the big bang occurred when God (G-d, for you chosen people) and ::BANG!:: It happened. So if He made dinosaurs too then more power to Him, it's just about time he wrote a foreword to the Old Testament.

Karma is a bitch
So I spent the last 6 week mocking that blind guy on American Idol (well, not mocking him but wanting him to get off the show because he was an awful singer and he just made their choreographed dances awkward and the painful comedy when he's have to get helped across the stage because they, for whatever reason, wouldn't let him carry his cane onstage. I mean, he still wouldn't have been able to find his mark. He was destined to fail from the start he's not Ray Charles so that's all there is to it) and all week with this bastard of a cold I've been partially deaf. I can't hear my phone ring when it's in my pocket. My head wants to pop like a zit. I feel like there's water in me up to my eyeballs.

Hold on - History Channel is telling me an asteroid the size of Mt. Everest hit the Earth 65 million years ago and that's why the dinosaurs died. Interesting.

Back to my story. I STILL FEEL AWFUL. These drugs haven't done a god damn thing. Other than irritate me. They said I have a sinus infection. What good is health care if they can't even give me good drugs to get rid of this and other shit quickly? Damn it.

When the asteroid hit the ocean it created a tsunami with waves that were two or 3 miles high. I would have paid to see that.

Maybe I just need some cosmic rays...Cheers.

Back on the usual Tuesday schedule

But I'm feeling awful. This cold has seriously kicked my ass. I broke down and went whining to my doctor this afternoon to get some prescription drugs. I got some horse pill antibiotics but alas, no painkillers. The jury's still out on whether just the antibiotics will be worth the $20 copay and $4 pill charge. I'll keep you posted.

But really, I need to alert Crayola about some of the colors I'm coughing up and blowing out my nose. It's just filthy. All I do is sleep and blow my nose and cough. I'm miserable. I need to get better soon, I can't take this whole not blogging thing. As soon as the pressure in my head subsides and I stop sneezing on my keyboard I'll be back at it hardcore to make up for lost time.

Wednesday morning I will be departing for Philadelphia, PA to attend the Penn Relays with a couple people from my team, so Wednesday and Thursday blogging may be tough due to my ass will be driving for more or less 2 days straight. But it beats being in the office, I'll tell you that right now. And after this week there's a month left of the season...yikes. My ass needs to find a job. Well, I say that but we all no I'm in no rush. Because I'm lazy.

Video for my own amusement:

It's just Delonte West being Delonte West. I don't know if the Herp made him dumber but he just might take the cake on the low-IQ award in the NBA...and that's saying something. The chicken wings and fruit punch before practice was a nice touch, though. I have have to give him credit for that.

Bonnaroo Artist of the week:

Citizen Cope. MC from DC. Legit. I recommend The Clarence Greenwood Recordings. You've probably heard "Son's Gonna Rise" but youtube wouldn't let me embed the video...same old shit. He's a little more small time than some so I bet he'll have a nice small stage to operate on. I like him better with his beats but I'm confident in a good time either way.

Second Bonnaroo Artist of the Week:

Nine Inch Nails. Not just legit. Fucking legit. Trent Reznor is just crazy, with or without hard drugs (Better with, I'll be honest). Listen to The Fragile and tell me it's not a work of genius. If you do you're only lying to yourself. Look at the challenge of that song, Rock Band 2 gave proper credit where proper credit is due.

Snack of the week:

Yep. Use butter and milk and cook it on a stovetop...don't buy the bowls. You're not in college anymore, be an adult. A broke-ass adult. Cheers.

Semi-regular tribute video to Shawn Campbell

I think Shawn will appreciate this more than most, mainly because he seems to appreciate sappy rhythm and blues songs more than most. And Shawn's an honest man, too. So I think he will appreciate an honest R&B song. I know I did.

And this lead me to these two gems, which are actually more appropriate to your present location. The first is made by these same guys, brokenbox or some shit(it's actually broken box but I was too lazy to look back when i wrote brokenbox and I thought that was funny). They've got 10,000,000 hits between their two video...what the shit am I doing wrong? I guess I'm just not funny enough. Or maybe it's the videos, maybe I need my own videos. Ya, that's it. Stay tuned.

And this, just because I'm a giver. Take notes, champ.

Did I deliver or did I deliver? Cheers.

Wait just one second...

And I have a movie song to end all movie songs. How could I forget this from one of my top 6 favorite movies of all time? I watched this (at least) once a week my senior year in college. I'm kicking myself right now for needing a do-over to get this out...

(The way Allison handled Steven Tyler tells me she's definitely got the chops to get after Freddie Mercury...)

Good bit of movie trivia: Pay special attention to Dana Carvey. He was supposed to learn the words but didn't bother so he looks like a jackass. Deleted scenes told me he was furious when they put his uncomfortable mumbles in the finished product but it couldn't have been any more perfect if they planned it that way from the start. Cinematic masterpiece. Cheers.

The wait is over

Good day to all. Apparently I have a couple of dedicated readers because I've been catching shit for not getting anything up since the middle of the weekend. Maybe I was lazy, maybe I just wanted you to think about my last post...the world may never know.

Actually I've been sick (and still am, shit) since Thursday and I've been miserable through the weekend and the beginning of this week and thus I haven't been doing a whole heck of a lot. Tuesday is usually a prime blog day for me with Idol on for a couple of hours I usually have a chance to get a few words out then. This week, however, I wasn't home to watch. Yes, it's true I missed my first live American Idol of the season on Tuesday. I was on a 5 hour drive to Fitchburg, MA and back because we left something there at a meet a couple weeks ago. I don't want to get into it, but Fitchburg wasn't any nicer the 3rd time I've been there in my life. So, hopefully I'll never have to go back.

I watched it last night when I got home from work before the results show came on. Marie hooked it up and taped it for me when I wasn't around. Which leads me to a question: who out there still has a VCR that they have hooked up to record programs they miss? My guess is none of you. DVR? I don't need no stinking DVR. Give me low-def, (slightly-) scrambly-picture, snow-in-and-out recordings to the same VHS we've been using to record programs at the Capone household for the last 5 years or so. No need to mess with perfection.

Concerning the results show all I have to say is with the save being used up on a hack I'm going to freak the fuck out if Allison gets voted off this coming week. She's top 3 talent. Matt is an up and downer and when they show him on TV I don't know whether to smile or hang a coat from his forehead. That's not Idol material where I'm from.

On song choices: How did no one pull out a Kenny Loggins song for this? I was utterly shocked. I guess this is just showing how young this crop is...If you saw a cheesy movie in the late 80's you KNEW Kenny Loggins would be closing it out with a rock ballad. My personal choice: "Meet Me Halfway" which you all already know was a big part of why Over The Top ends up in Sylvester Stallone's top-5 best movies of his career. Visual evidence of Stallone's great acting and Kenny Loggins being...well, I don't know exactly what he's being here...is provided:

I mean, the premise of the movie is Stallone is a owner-operator of a shitty trucking business and is a small-time arm wrestler and enters the National or World or some shit Arm Wrestling championships for $50k (i think...he also bet's on himself...I'm sure Dodgeball stole their betting idea from here) and a (you guessed it...) brand-spanking-new truck. There's alsosome story of Stallone and his kid getting reunited and father-son bonding and an evil grandfather but who the hell would pay to see that? I've got a copy for anyone who would want to borrow it. INSTANT CLASSIC.

Other choice for great artist that should have been done: Huey Lewis and the News. Many would say "YES. 'The Power of Love' MADE Back to the Future!!" Hah, nice try. I'm talking "Hip to be Square" from American Psycho. What the hell would the producers have said about that choice? And Tarantino would have eaten that shit up. It just would have been perfect, especially if when they (I think Adam would have been the only one who could have pulled this off, which would have just added to my hatred of him) finished singing, were asked why they chose the song and went all "...He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think he has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor...most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself..." I should write for TV.


This is a little weird. So I had no idea that this week was movie week on Idol. But I did have some movie-ness on the mind before I found out this was the show's theme. There's no way to separate these two thoughts now because one will immediately lead into the next. But once I found out the theme I was hoping Lil Rounds would choose "I Will Always Love You" from The Bodyguard, not because she could handle the song (she would've gotten train-wrecked and would be home right now...I mean she should be home right now but that's besides the point - at least the blind guy's gone...) but because I wanted to bring this up (I had this thought on Monday...): Is there a more under-rated, under-appreciated and borderline-forgotten movie badass than Frank Farmer in The Bodyguard? if there is then let me know because I can't think of someone. This guy would eat Chuck Norris' heart while it was still beating.

("Not on my shift." = BADASS.)

This guy's former Secret Service who spent 6 years serving two Presidents and he can do everything. Throw knives? Check. Shoot bullets? Check. Asks for orange juice instead of water? Check. Slam faces into cookware? Check. Run at twice the speed of light in 80's-tight jeans? Check. Have the girl fall in love with you because you take a bullet fired by a crazy stalker? Check, and mate. Cheers (and back on the grind...how'd I do? Hope it was worth the wait).

Who ya got?

Apollo 13 and The Ten Commandments were both on Saturday night at about the same time. Which begs the question:

Which is the bigger work of fiction:

The "moon landing"


OR

The story of how Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt (hell, all of the Bible, let's be serious...)?

I'd be interested to hear people's opinions. My opinion? Pick'em. Cheers.

--

Funny story. I was dog tired after working Saturday which explains why I was in to watch the Saturday evening prime time movies. An old friends from Bates was also watching The Ten Commandments while we were g-chatting and the first time Moses saw the burning bush and God spoke to Moses she dropped this gem:

"And I was expecting it to be Alanis Morrisette..."

Less than 5 people will probably get this reference but I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Quick wit.

Email correspondence

This was sent by a friend a couple of days ago. Gmail email is weird (weird because I don't use it enough so I don't know all of its nuances) so when I was trying to forward it to people who didn't have gmail the images weren't loading properly. D'oh. But check out below and see what you think...the captions are a little over-the-top Republican but the images themselves still make a pretty direct point. Cheers.

Subject: Fwd: IOWA - THIS IS A MUST SEE!!!l

email correspondence

IOWA MAKES YOU THINK... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IOWA (THE HEARTLAND OF AMERICA ) AND THE DECAYING CESSPOOL THAT WE CALLED NEW ORLEANS . NEW ORLEANS KNEW THAT A HURRICANE WAS COMING AND CHOSE TO DO LITTLE - THEN EXPECT THE GOVERNMENT AND THE TAXPAYERS TO REBUILD THE CITY AND THEIR HOMES BETTER THAN THEY WERE PRIOR TO THE HURRI-CANE. IOWA JUST WATCHED IT RAIN AND DEALT WITH IT!!! Where are the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods? Where is good old Michael Moore? Why is the media NOT asking the tough questions about why the Federal Govern-ment hasn't solved this problem? Asking where the FEMA trucks and trailers and food services are? Why isn't the Federal Government moving Iowa people into free hotels in Chicago and Minneapolis ? When will Spike Lee say the Federal Government blew up the levees that failed in Des Moines ? Where are Sean Penn, Bono and the Dixie Chicks? Where are all the looters stealing high-end tennis shoes, cases of beer and television sets? When will we hear Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a "vanilla" Iowa ... because that's what God wants? Where is the hysterical 24/7 media coverage complete with reports of shootings at rescuers, of rapes and murder? Where are all the people screaming that George Bush hates white rural people? My God - where are Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Oprah and Ray Coniff, Jr.? How come in another two weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again? Where are the Government bailout vouchers? The Government debit cards? There must be one hell of a big difference between the value of the people of Iowa and value of the people of Louisiana . PASS THIS UNEDITED, UNDOCTORED, FACTUAL INFORMATION AROUND - TO GET AMERICA THINKING Let's float this one around for a while in contrast to all of the hullabaloo that New Orleans received.

Opening Day was Tuesday...

and I made no mention of it here. Not because I wasn't watching, just because it never came up. So, something in honor of the baseball season beginning:

I'm sure you've all seen this before, but I find it especially funny because it ends with Youkilis looking like his usual asshole self. He deserved to get his ass beat last year - Manny got set up.

Have a fine Saturday.

Friday

It's now 11:15am and I'm just settling in at my desk. I'm going to miss these days when I actually have a boss watching over me. But sorry, if it's a slow news day I'm not going to sit here on my ass all day just so I can feel like I put in a full day's work. I'm all about efficiency.

Caught some of Mike and Mike this morning before I come in. Both Mike's were on so it was better than it's been the last couple of times I've flipped it on with some minor leaguers filling in. This wasn't on the part i saw but I thought it was pretty humorous.

Watch your ass when you're on facebook, you never know who's looking.



Underrated sangwich of the day: Peanut butter and (you name it). Bread doesn't matter as long as it's wheat or lighter. Pumpernickel is a definite no-go with this sangwich genre, and all ryes should be excluded, too. White, wheat, multi-grain, honey oat, however, are all excellent choices depending on what else you're adding to this delicacy. Peanut butter and jelly on anything. peanut butter and fluff on white. peanut butter and banana with honey on oat. Peanut butter and honey on wheat. Peanut butter and apple slices on 12 grain.

Toasted, untoasted...the possibilities are ENDLESS. Have one for dinner tonight or as a snack after work.





Quote of the day: from Immortal Technique's "The 3rd World," which I picked up last week but just listened to yesterday from the start of my morning commute until I made it home after a trip to Gipper's and everywhere in between:

[I'm] From where the only place democracy's acceptable,
Is if America's candidate is electable

Yay, America...
Cheers (and have a great weekend).

'Tis the season

I know it doesn't quite feel like spring yet but last night I decided to have my first ice cream cone of the year. Some would say this shouldn't be a big deal - I eat ice cream most of the year - but there's something that sets a soft serve cone apart from a dish of hard ice cream or fro-yo. I didn't make it to Dairy Joy to pick this bad boy up, but let me get the word out that all locations are open and seem to be doing great business in spite of the slacking economy. This is especially of note because I've just found out in the last month that two of my favorite small time joints in town have closed their doors. Dore's closed around Christmas time (maybe the fact I didn't notice this until a month ago was part of the reason they closed...shit) and Cafe Bon Bon closed just recently. I used to walk to Cafe Bon Bon quite a bit when lived in Ewiston but, again, I have to say I haven't been in since early winter. They had great sangwiches. I'll need to find some place new to read and relax when I'm unemployed. There are other options, not to worry. But the plight of the mom and pop food service industry is troubling to me, I hope it is not a trend which continues.

(not to seem insensitive...) But back to ice cream. I didn't go to the DJ because I went to our dining hall for free, and they've got a soft serve machine there. I've never been mad about that. Went with a standard choc-van twist with chocolate sprinkles. Usually I go rainbow but I don't know what gt into me. Kept it fairly small, too, only about three inches of height. I'll get back in ice cream shape soon. It sucks to have to pay for it now, when back a couple of years ago we'd get all the ice cream I could eat from DJ for free because i was in good with an ice cream attendant. Those were the good old days my wallet can't handle $4 mix-in's more than once a week. Which is probably good for my midsection. Cheers.


--


O, Thank you, America for ending the pitiful struggle that was the blind guy on American Idol. It was long overdue. You knew it, I knew it...just admit it. Hope next week is much better than the past week...most of those were painful to watch. And thanks tot he producers for the unintentional comedy which resulted in Flowmaster or whatever the first act was named lip-synching their entire song and then the guy speaking into the mic with Seacrest like it actually worked. Well played, sir.

Question: This didn't really click in until last night. Adam chose "Mad World" which was originally recorded by Tears for Fears in 1982, so it fit right within the parameters of the weekly guidelines. But As I assess his performance he really just covered with relatively few changes the Gary Jules version...so all of the originality the judges praised from him should really just get credited to Mr. Jules or his arranger. I had to go back and listen to the tears for Fears version (here it is, I don't want to embed the video). And I know most of you know the Jules version that was in Donnie Darko, which is a cool fucking video so you should really click that one. But, right? It really wasn't that original, right? Other than the fact he botched the words near the beginning, right? BUT NO ONE NOTICES THESE THINGS BECAUSE ADAM FUCKING LAMBERT CAN DO NO WRONG. Peace, I'm outta here.

Typical Tuesday

Pretty shitty Idol tonight, in my opinion. Allison was very good, of course. And don't forget I compared her to Bonnie Raitt in an earlier Idol blog...it may have been the first blog a wrote about her. So, needless to say I was happy with the song choice. And she did a bang up job. Adam sucks but at least he chose a good song. Finding out I'm older than six of the 8 contestants left started as a kick to the short and curlies until I realized 7 of those left will be unemployed at just about the same time I am...sweet irony.

Word to the wise: The Departed on FX seems like a great idea...until you actually watch it. Bye Bye strippers and blow, hello "jerk" and "heck." These may have been the worst overdubs I've ever seen in a movie since Lethal Weapon. Just painful to watch. Guys can get capped in the head and blood can cover a room after, but a fuck-bomb? No, No, No! It was borderline humorous.

Rescue Me is a phenomenal show but this sucker has to get on before 10pm...these 11pm bedtimes are kicking my ass. I'm a gamer though and I'll keep things together tomorrow. You don't know how happy I was when I found out the only show I watch on Fox was ending at 9 tonight...then this came on at 10 and I'm still up. Shucks. But on this note I'm out.

This may or may not be deemed inappropriate.
Since it was on cable I choose to believe the former..

Cheers. Wait. The Hangover looks awful, just saw the preview for the first time. But any preview that opens with some Butthole Surfers is OK with me. They've got me intrigued.

Answers to Collegian Queries/Comments

I like to think that I have a pretty good amount of useless information stocked up in my head, and thus from time to time I am asked some random ass questions. Last week one of these questions was asked and I had no idea so I went to sleuthing the "internet" to get to the bottom of this query: Jamie Lee Curtis...biologically male? Ya, welcome to my life. I wish Idiot Savants was still on MTV, I used to love that show. Now I like to think I could hold my own, I know I'm lying to myself but it would be cool - I know more useless shit than valuable knowledge. O well..

Anyways, back to Jamie Lee. So I am clearly not the first to search for this on the "internet" as there were quite a few pages devoted to this same question (Which makes me ask, "why don't you lazy fockers try google before you ask me something like this?" Though at the same time at least I can add this to the vault...)

Hermaphrodism (from Hermes, Greek god associated with male sexuality + Aphrodite, Greek goddess associated with female sexuality) is an obsolete medical term (clinicians now prefer interesx) for a set of conditions characterized mainly by genitalia which are either "ambiguous" (i.e., not clearly male or female) or at odds with the subject's chromosomal gender. Depending on the specific symptoms, hermaphroditism / intersexuality may be the result of either a genetic anomaly or a hormonal excess (or deficiency) during gestation. It has been estimated that as many as 1 in 2,000 children born in the United States are diagnosed with ambiguous external genitalia, of whom a small percentage undergo "sex reassignment" surgery in infancy
The specific condition most often attributed to Jamie Lee Curtis is AIS, or Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. People born with AIS are genetically male (defined as having one X and one Y chromosome) but are resistant to androgens, the hormones responsible for male sexual development. As a result, they display female physical characteristics despite being genetically male. "In its classic form (complete androgen resistance), the person appears to be female but has no uterus, and has sparse armpit and pubic hair," states the MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia. "At puberty, female secondary sex characteristics (e.g., breasts) develop, but menstruation and fertility do not."(taken from about.com)

Well, well, well. What have we got? She's adopted two kids, obvious (in my opinion) silicone-enhanced chesticles, and to be honest really nothing else that sparks controversy. Some people infer the gender-neutral name Jamie was chosen because the parents were unsure at first. Mom (hers, not mine) denies and it makes sense, you can choose not to know until birth so a gender neutral name would let you pick just one name rather than two. To be honest I don't care what her chromosomes say and neither should you. She's always been gorgeous, still is (And probably put on the best striptease in cinematic history in True Lies). That's my $.02



--

Also, I've heard some whispers that posting pictures of my past shenanigans as a conflict of interest with my current profession. All I have to say to you is look at track record: when I was running I was serious enough to not booze. Made it from November 1 to senior week with but a glass of champagne at Gala my senior year. I didn't have a sip after Axl didn't show up to that god damn "GNR" (I need to quotes that, should be called Axl and his new friends Guns died with the UYI albums but I know you already knew that...) show in Portland. And looking back I was happy with how things turned out.

What many people don't realize is there is a finite window one can devote to the sport of their choice and have the opportunity to take it seriously. After college unless you work 20 hours a week so you can live the proverbial dream, your competition days are over. Slow-down basketball may seem like fun but something tells me you're not going to get up for a game against Meinekee Muffler quite the same as you would against Williams.

You have the rest of your life to eat, drink, and be merry without having to worry about being in top physical condition, and believe it or not there is an ever-growing body of evidence which demonstrates alcohol adversely affects athletic performance. It's a shocker, I know. Now I've got the rest of my life to get a mean drunk on in a safe manner whenever I'd like, so I think I made the right decision. I mean, look at these hops!

So look before you leap (HAH). And think before you speak. Cheers.

Folk Art

Taken in CT this past summer. Consider this a half-hearted salute to the ACM awards, that I made it up for just about all of. I like that no one really cares about the awards - it's just an excuse to get a dillion great acts on stage in one place. Really enjoyed Jamey Johnson's performance. Big fan of that song, but never knew who sang it. Underrated.

Anyways this was taken form a car, it was on a barn. I just about missed it, but I'm a gamer. And when I raise a barn you can bet your ass after two coats of exterior that suckers getting the stars and stripes on a side. Write that down. Cheers.

A good story is below:

Not going to make it up for all of the ACM Awards, sorry. Toby's performing right now, brings back fond memories of summers past..

But I wanted to get this up tonight; I was going to try last night but some bum wine got the better of me and I lost ambition before I could find the video and when I tried to bootleg it with my camera I found out it was 12 minutes long and I would have had to remove a lot of pictures and it would have been way too much work for a Saturday night after 11pm.

But anyways this is a story about an EL kid, Josh Titus, with autism who has been the basketball manager the last four years and got to play in their last regular season game this year. It's also about a kid from Greeley with downs syndrome who got to do the same thing, and ties back with an autistic kid who dropped 20 in 4 minutes in the same sort of story and is doing real well.

This was on the CBS Final Four pregame show, which I thought was pretty cool. Deadspin ran a little blurb about this and gave the shout out to the Greeley kid, not the EL kid. So, consider this my rebuttal. This is what high school sports is all about: anyone who busts their ass should get a chance to get out there and play at some point during their careers. And good for these kids, who will get to realize like many of us that the most fun you'll ever have playing sports will be in high school. It's all downhill after that. Cheers.

More on the subject of Bonnaroo...

So I said I was going to post new artists every week but this is just too good to pass up. It's like the moon and the stars aligned and said "we just teed it up, hit a slow roller back up the middle and try not to get thrown out at first."

I went to Bull Moose music and sold an assload of lousy cd's and dvd's last week so I had about $60 in store credit burning a hole in my pocket throughout last weekend which made me stop in on my way home Monday and I picked up a bunch of random stuff including Immortal's new release (well, new as of last year...) and a Ben Harper compact disc I had been meaning to pick up for about a year now. But I just got around to sticking it in my mobile jukebox this morning and remembered why I had wanted to buy the cd.

So then I get home from the office fairly early Thursday and I finally have some free time because neither Marie nor Skip are home and so I flip on the tv for a bit because I finally have control of the remote. First, I found out Jay Cutler got traded for 2 first round picks and Kyle Orton which gave me a good chuckle because most would rank Cassel a better passer and he was only moved for a 2nd rounder, but that's neither here nor there in terms of this story. The point here is ESPN had NOTHING else to talk about because the NCAA or whoever the hell it is that handles the tournament decides to wait a week between the regional finals and the final 4...waste of time.

But I get to flipping and stumble upon the Ovation channel. Not all of you may know the Ovation channel but it plays a lot of live music usually from the 70's and some real bizarre shit and also other artsy stuff but they had some good stuff on this evening which got me interested, mainly because...Ben Harper was performing a live set. And it was an outdoor show so I said to myself "this is pretty cool, he 's playing Bonnaroo this year and is an act I would like to see; he played a couple of years ago, too (yes, I use semicolons when I talk to myself)." And then the camera panned back and he was on a Bonnaroo stage. So that was neat.

Anyways, Ben Harper is legit. He was playing with the Innocent Criminals then but will be with the Relentless7 this time around. He's a bit too preachy for me, but hey if you love G-d (gotta be safe in case some chosen peoples are reading this) then get it out in the open; I don't want that sneaking up on me. But this is a personal favorite. Enjoy.

Cheers.

Thursday business

So my apologies to Nick as Megan Joy was sent home last night on Idol. And she took full advantage of her swan (or turkey, or whatever the hell bird she was trying to be) song to demonstrate she really doesn't give two shits about American Idol. Look for an album form her in 6-9 months, something tells me she's already got a couple of deals to mull over as of this writing today. Everyone likes that smokey jazz sound and with a little production she'll be fine. The producers make her sound fine on the lip-synced shit they do to kick off every program so I have no doubt she'll be wearing gold plated diapers sometime very soon.

America needs to have a diet pespi max and wake the hell up. I'm getting tired of seeing her end up in the bottom three. Only I probably shouldn't be...this week she's going to drop another bomb I can already feel it. She'll give this nation the kick in the collective ass that it deserves for still not giving her the proper amount of dap.

And while I'm on the Idol subject, tell me something like this wouldn't be perfect for young Allison. Granted I posted this because I thought the video was impressive in its concept and its simplicity (I was planning to post a live song before I stumbled upon this) but I hear a lot of similarities. Except that Ms. Potter can, in fact, play instruments...But dope video, dope band, dope comparison. 3 dopes in a row, nice...

And segueing from Idol to the Bonnaroo front (I don't just post videos to post videos) Grace Potter and the Nocturnals will also be the first of a brand new feature on the 'Pad entitled "Bonnaroo Band of the Week." Each week up until the show time (or until I get lazy and stop doing it) I'm going to try to get up some video or audio of an act I'm really going to try to see (the exceptions being that I won't bother posting Phish because I really don't/care to know much about Phish, though I have a tshirt from a '95 tour...and the Boss unless I can find video of his power slide camera crash from the Super Bowl) These may be small time acts that I will know nothing about for another couple of weeks when I find something I really like and lo and behold I feature them to get them out to the masses (of 10-20 people). So this may turn out being an exploratory endeavour for multiple parties (me exploring the internet and then you exploring what I find interesting). I know I've mentioned GP&theN's (my creation, watch it start sticking...) before here so for serious if you haven't paid attention yet give these folks a listen.

And from music I will be seeing to things I will be bringing: Definitely a beer bong.

(Don't be embarrassed Mrs. Capone...Both pictures show incredible determination...)

Because it just looks like a good idea, right? Throw it back to high school for old time's sake. Cheers.