Headline News

Editor's Note: I wrote this January 18 but forgot to post it...my b. This was also written during my sailor phase so I think there may be a couple cusses in it. But, seriously, this troubled me...

I don’t usually read the news because I’m lazy and figure I can pick up enough of the goings-on via word of mouth or that newfangled "internet," but I happened to pick up the Sun Journal sports page a couple Saturdays ago. A few of us had planned to return to Edward Little High School and catch the 2nd half of the basketball game there but by the time we made it across town cars were rolling away and our plans were forced to change. So I was interested to see if they had played well or not. The front page said they won by about 30, so I flipped through to the sports section to read about how this occurred and who they played and saw the headline: “EDDIES BOIL WITCHES.” I don’t know why but I just found this to be pretty inappropriate.

Well, actually I do know why and I’m going to tell you right now…maybe because there weren’t any real witches, just hysteria created by wormshit little 17th century girls in Puritan New England villages which caused 20 or so people to be killed. Real cool. And boiling was a torture device used to force the accused to confess their wicked ways and discovered God before they were hanged or shot or burned to death at the stake. Really cool. Religion is great (don’t worry, I’m not about to go down that road. If you like God or Jesus or G-d or Mohammad or Vishnu or any of the dillion others that’s your business, not mine)… So kudos to the S-J for thinking that headline was PC. Newsflash: NOT EVERYONE IN THE U.S. IS CHRISTIAN…AS “SCARY” AS IT IS SOME PEOPLE ARE EVEN ::GASP:: AGNOSTICS OR ATHEISTS AND DON’T BELIEVE IN REGION AT ALL…This again just points out the blatant Judeo-Christian bias present in this country, which trickles from the Federal Government on down to municipal governments and workplaces and even homes. Free exercise my ass. While Wicca’s don’t generally consider themselves witches I’m sure that headline is not something which they’d like to begin their Saturday with especially with all the other backhanded shit I’m sure they take on a regular basis.

I apologize for the mini rant but this is just a pretty big pet peeve of mine. Be happy the holiday season is over or I could go on for hours. The city councilors who put out “holiday” trees and “multi-faith” decorations can go piss up a rope. Christmas should not be a federal holiday. If you choose to not open your business on a given day that is…your business. That’s what you have personal days for, too. Sorry this has been a tangent but government interference on this shit just grinds my gears. Anyways to conclude, Randy Whitehouse and S-J editors: clean it up.