If you're a Lebowski fan like myself then you can't help but be impressed. This guy took the time to re-write the entire script to The Big Lebowski in iambic pentameter as a Shakespearean play. I shit you not. Seriously, take a look below for a glimpse at how The Dude and Walter would discuss Walter bringing his exwife's dog bowling and Walter explaining he didn't rent it shoes and he's not buying the dog a beer or letting it take his turn. And just to clear things up for you since I didn't include the "persons of the play," The Knave is The Dude. Walter is Walter. Glad we cleared things up.
1.5[The bowling green. Enter THE KNAVE, WALTER (with a dog), and JACK SMOKE, to play at ninepins]
WALTER
Thy tale is the stuff of dreams, and yet a waking dream of will. I had those words under a spreading tree in Jerusalem.
THE KNAVE
An I were dreaming afore, I care not, but do I dream anew? What manner of beast bringest thou to our nightly sport?
WALTER
Marry, ‘tis the remnant of a previous life’s nightly sport. That I was once a married man, thou knowest well; that the Lady Cynthia was a great lover of dogs, thou know’st in lesser degree; and the cur abandon’d has a tendency to dine upon chair-leg and oaken table, most retrograde to my lady’s desire.
THE KNAVE
Thou speakest in riddles.
WALTER
It hath been my charge to attend this cur ere my Lady Cynthia return ashore from a voyage to the islands, commanded by Sir Martin of Ackerman.
THE KNAVE
Thou bringest a cur to ninepins?
WALTER
I bring naught to ninepins. The dog is not attired by my hand to play at sport, nor do I fetch it ale, nor shall he throw thy bowl-turn in thy stead.
So, Adam Bertocci, today I call you a genius. Well played, sir. Well played, indeed. Cheers.
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