Saturday, September 18, 2010

Where'd I leave off..

Aloha.  In case you forgot who I am, my name is Matt.  I moved from Maine to Hawaii some months ago.  I started this blog about two years ago.  Over those two years this is by far the longest I've gone between posts.  I've been incredibly lazy these past couple weeks.  Since I returned to Maui in August I've been leading the sad life of a working man, slaving away for damn near 40 hours of my week, working six out of seven days and all the while pretty much hating life.  My past weeks have consisted of, more or less, the following:
-Rise sometime in the morning.  If I work during the day then that's around 8.  If I work at night then around 11.
-Put on ESPN2 for an hour or so on work days, to catch the Scott Van Pelt show highlights.  These highlights are also generally the highlights of my day.  SVP and Ryen Russillo are hilarious.  Russillo is a New England guy,too, so that's always a solid.
-Go to work.  If I work at night then I waste the day away by walking to the store to grab a couple of groceries or napping/tv watching, then go to work.
-Come home from work.  Scour the internet for flights home for Liam's wedding and to see what happened in the world that particular day on ESPN, CNN, Fox News, and bbc.  And Gmail and Facebook.  And my work schedule.  Watch Family Guy and Mike and Mike in the Morning, both of which begin at midnight.
-Fall asleep.
Fucking pathetic, eh?  I live on a beautiful island with beaches and sun and plenty to do...and for the most part I go to work or waste time until I go to work.  What the shit is wrong with me?!  I am a loser.


Not that blogging will make me cool.  Just, why would I blog when I don't. do. anything.  It's just not interesting.  The things that have crossed my mind and made me laugh recently are Family Guy clips.  And I guess I can only post so many Family Guy clips where the bulk of the post is THE clip, with nothing more for me to say other than, "I thought it was funny."  The clips have no direct link to any aspect of my life besides me enjoying Family Guy and it's on every night at midnight so there's a pretty strong chance I'm awake to catch it.  It's just become a part of my day.  Most Family Guys have at least one clip that I find quite funny, which then makes me want to see if youtube has the clip, and if youtube has the clip then I think I should post it.  Usually, however, I don't bother.  A lot of the good ones aren't on there at all, or are only on there in foreign languages.  Most scenes just aren't as funny when you can't understand what is being said.


I started watching The Informant! a couple of weeks ago.  The plot was pretty lame but I found the inner monologue of Matt Damon's character hilarious.  And he had a killer mustache, which was nice.  Somewhere I read that someone had a "molestache."  AKA molest-stache.  AKA molester stache.  I thought it was pretty funny.  I hope some people consider my lip sweater to be working its way into the molestache category.

This was intended to be more about Damon's internal monologue being eerily similar to how I go through most of my days feeling like I talk to myself nonstop.  Is this normal?  Do other people constantly have ridiculous thoughts going through their heads that just drift from one starting point and slowly tangent outward and outward and outward.  Thought entropy, really.  Nonstop.  Earlier this week the song "Your Woman" popped into my head at work.  I knew it was sung by a group that had "white" in its name.  White Town.  I don't recall why I thought of this but the video is pretty neat, silent film style..

But anyways a couple of weeks ago I was leaving work after a day shift and I was walking through the shopping center/district that Hula Grill is on the edge of (bike parking is at the front of this center.  Whaler's Village.  Lot of classy stores (Louis V, Galleries, etc) mixed in with surf clothiers (Volcom, Quicksilver, Billabong, etc) mixed in with cheap ass "island items" stores that sell knick knacks and random ass shit.  Kind of funky but it's a popular tourist spot as it's got a few hotels on either side of it and, of course, Hula Grill draws a crowd..) and I had my headphones on and a little jazz session going on in my head (not jazz as in jazz music, but jazz as in "impromptu performance."  The D-backs coach at Bates would always say that when you intercept a pass or scoop a fumble that it was time for a jazz session.  I thought it was silly, but catchy.  He's the same guy who would also interrupt any time you fucked up and started to say "I thought it was.." with "You thought you farted but you shit your pants."  He's a character..) with some boardshorts and a random ass t-shirt on (I think it was my new USA tie dye.  If you haven't seen it yet I'll try to wear it more.  Picked it up from the Mystical Emporium when I was home in July.  It's swell..) headed back to my bike to ride off into the sunset when I passed some people and one of the guys said, "Hey, that's the guy from the Hula Grill."

Clearly my nappy ponytail and skeevy mustache attracts some attention, but it's nice to know that people comment about my steeze to their friends and family.  Multiple servers have told me they've overheard their guests joke that I could be Ron Jeremy's younger brother.  That one is a mixed blessing, as my goal in life is not to be a short, fat man.  But clearly my upper lip has taken on a personality all its own.  Multiple isn't ten, but three.  Three's enough to know there's plenty of silly banter sparked by the goodness I've got going on.  That's good enough for me.  I guess this is just another step in the escalator that is my look.  There have been some downs brought on by institutions of higher learning which claim to promote egalitarian perspectives within the liberal arts but are quite oppressive in regards to the hair length possessed by their young coaches.  But hey, I got a mullet out of the deal for a couple of months so I guess it was worth it.  As things stand today these hairs won't be touched by the cold steel or barbershop Fiskars for quite some time.  And we can leave it at that and go on our merry ways..


I think I'm crazy but I'm 90% sure that by the end of the weekend I'll have registered to run a marathon in January.  I need something to kick start my training mindset so giving myself four months to gear up will provide enough time to not kill myself and overtrain but also a short enough span that I'll need to start doing something ASAP.  There's a marathon here on Sunday that finishes right close to where I work so I'll probably wander down and check it out.  They were doing a bunch of setting up today so the bike racks I usually park at got moved to a couple parking spaces in the parking garage.  I feel way to classy being able to park my bike under a roof for the next three days.

But I think it would be an alright goal.  Marathons aren't about talent, just persistence.  I feel like once I get going not wanting to embarrass myself will be enough motivation to hit the pavement most days of the week.  I have a feeling I'll probably hurt myself and not be able to work for a few days after the run, but what the hell.  I need something to do.  Motivation as an adult sucks; I need to find a way to build activity into my life.  Wish me luck.  Cheers (and it's good to be back.  Missed the few of you who have been missing my words...Maine-dogs I'll be back 207 from Oct 11-25.  Fall in Maine.  Can't wait.  No proofread tonight, either.  I'll try to look it over tomorrow...or the next day..)

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