Thursday, December 30, 2010

Le tired..

This doesn't happen a lot but last night I got home from work a little late, a little tired, and went to sleep.  Just seconds later, it seemed, my alarm went off and it was morning.  No dreams, no nothing.  Just a groggy, morning wake up.  I was none to pleased about this.  I don't remember my dreams too often but I do know most nights laying down for seven hours doesn't feel like seven seconds.  This could be a long day..

The year's almost over!  I don't know why that seems crazy today, but it DOES!  IF YOU'VE GOT ANYTHING LEFT YOU WANTED TO DO THIS YEAR, YOU SHOULD DO IT ASAP.  Cheers.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

It was a celebration, bitches..

The Christmas holiday has come and gone. While I would have much rather been at home with family and old friends, my Christmas here was a pretty special experience. One of my roommates, Louis, decided to cook a ham for Christmas dinner so around 3pm we had a family dinner of ham, mashed taters and corn. TASTY. Following this the four of us ventured out of the house in the early evening to attend another dinner, this time at the home of a co-worker. The house was absolutely gorgeous and easily made its way into my relatively arbitrary “Top Ten Houses I've Ever Entered,” as it was a well-apportioned spread high in some pineapple fields, overlooking the beautiful West Maui coastline. I didn't take any pictures because I figured that would have looked amateur so you'll just have to take my word that this was a baller house. It's the kind of house you'd expect the VP of TS Restaurants (TS owns the restaurant that's on my paycheck..) to have, as we happened to be at the house of the VP of TS Restaurants. Small world, eh? Again, clearly, it's not what you know, but who.

How we ended up at this particular house, the Moon house, to be a bit more specific, is a somewhat long and silly story but to sum the Moon household consists of Papa Moon, Mama Moon, and Miss Moon. Miss Moon works at Hula, as well, “(As the TS Family tends to be, literally, the TS family..) and we've become somewhat social through various work-related circumstances. Also, one of our good friends from Hula is close friends with the family, and his dad actually rents a smaller house on this family's property.

At any rate we get invited to the Moon house to have the pleasure of dining with the Moons and some other of their close family friends. Jon and I bonded with one gentleman, the father of one of Miss Moon's best friends, as we talked about Maine and he shared a story of an acid trip he went on while on top of Cadillac Mountain. It sounded downright fantastic, but I digress.

The party totaled twelve and after dinner the wine continued to flow until seven twenty-somethings and the Moon parents remained. At this point we were all socializing outside so, for whatever reason, Mr. Moon tosses about twenty golf balls onto the lawn and a driver emerges. Don't threaten me with a good time, right?

It's safe to say everyone took their fair share of whacks over the next half hour or so and well over a hundred balls ended up piercing the darkness on their (mostly..) airborne rides into the pineapple fields. After a solid slice to kick things off I found my groove easily. I felt like holes 19-27 of a thirty six hole day, when I've had enough beers to finally loosen up and shake the rust off. Or like holes 8-13 of a scramble when the drink goes down at a much more rapid rate so I can find my swing sooner. But, in either case I tend to continue down a sudsy road even once I find my groove so my game steadily regresses from this optimal golfing state. God damn alcohol and it's negative effects. Luckily for me I didn't quite reach that stage Christmas night, so Mr. Moon was pretty impressed with my swing as I was the big hitter of the group. Mr. Moon has a hell of a consistent swing, so whether just the wine talking or not I've chosen to take his kind words as a compliment.

The Moon's were so warm, welcoming, and inviting that, while making me feel incredibly happy to be allowed entry into their Christmas traditions, as I took stock well into the evening of what I was a part of I became quite bummed because it reminded me so much of summer holiday gatherings on the Capone deck, chock full of good food and drink for virtually all comers. Though, in the spirit of Christmas this party didn't turn into the debaucherous train wreck that more than one of the Capone social gatherings have turned into over the years. Ah, memories..

More or less, selflessness and generosity are desirable traits whether you make $20K, $200K, or $2000K. Spread the like.


Monday, December 27, 2010

Intensity in ten cities..

It's Monday.  Get to it.  Cheers.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Pretty happy about this..

Earlier today when I posted the Mule clip all I had really wanted to put up was the album version of "Banks of the Deep End" but youtube did not cooperate.  From there I performed a little google search to see how to embed .mp3's to Blogger but that cam up relatively unsuccessfully because all I could really find was using Windows Movie Maker to add a picture with a song and upload it as a movie.  I did not have Windows Movie maker so, in the spirit of Kevin McCallister, I gave it a whirl and downloaded it because it was free and I figured it would be super simple to pop up a picture of Warren Haynes from Bonnaroo and bing bang boom I could sub out the video up now with a new simple clip.  But when I popped open my 'Roo folder I saw all the good pictures I had taken and Nick had taken and KathV had taken I thought, "Well, shit.  I might as use some of the good ones of us."

Outside of seeing Grace Potter on some serious PED's the 1a highlight of my trip was hearing this song live.  I don't know why, I'm just into the song.  So, I present to you ten days of debauchery set to probably my favorite song.  Hold on to a piece of dry land..


This made me smile.  Miss you, friends.  I'd like to say I'm sorry for not including other good friends and family who didn't make the trip, but, if you weren't there you can't really understand, man..  

Happy Christmas to all you "Christians" out there and sorry to my Jew friends I didn't give you folks a shout out for your eight crazy nights of Hanukkah. I'll do better next year.


I'm just seeing today that my counter has malfunctioned.  I'm not stressing it but I'll look into some soluations before the new year  Today I exited the information superhighway on MyYellowNotepad and found my hits under 40.  Just now it was under 8000.  Not to be self conscious, but I know earlier in December I was well (WELL!!!!!!!!!!) over 16,000 hits.  No big deal..

I know about six of you out there tune in on the regular.  You're [each] the best...Cheers.

Friday, December 24, 2010

On Christmases, and other musings..

A Little Christmas in your Heart..

I've been listening to Gov't Mule and I have to say that it had been awhile since I last listened. Can't put a finger on why I stopped, probably just to diversify a little bit, but for whatever reason I cracked open a little bit of “Banks of the Deep End” about three hours ago and this Mule train hasn't slowed a bit. I've also wanted to write quite a bit but, again, for whatever reason I haven't put fingers to keys or pencil to paper for quite some time, either [Ed's Note: “Quite some time” for writing is more than a few days. “Quite some time” between Mule sessions is more than a couple of weeks. In case you were wondering..]

I think it's because I've kind of been muddling over some heavy shit for the past week or so. I finally realized Christmas is here and I wouldn't be back in town, some other stuff that comes up from time to time, just random tangented thoughts that have been somewhat tangled and clustered and far more personal than I usually delve into on here. The 'Pad is about fun, right? Not lame ass bullshit. At least that's my take. The only lame shit I bring up is goofy shit that happened to me that I can spin in a self-deprecating manner. Mopey Matt doesn't make for good 'Pad stories. So it goes; I'm somewhat over it as there's nothing I can do about it now except for deciding I'll be sleeping in close proximity to 48 Smith Street a year from now.

It's just kind of silly to me that I've found a way to not make it home for Christmas after I'd never been away from home for more than ten days or so up until this year. And I never planned to skip Christmas ; just between coming home in July and October it would have been hard to justify another vacation six weeks after my last vacation. So, shucks and we'll fix it next year. I know the gang was at Samm-o's Thursday night and whoever wasn't there was sucking'em up at Gipper's after 9pm. Thinking of both of those places did put a little frown on my face. I like me some Gipper's and I like em some Fletcher basement beer pong. Together we might have had a perfect storm of lighthearted, festive debauchery. And from the sounds of things no one was overly beligerent at Samm-o's, so my presence was clearly missed. Last year I don't remember being at Samm-o's; I misplaced time for a couple of hours and those hours still haven't turned up. That was back when I was young and foolish – I'm older now...
Small sidenote here. I just want to give a quick random shout-out and name drop that I should have done right after I left town in October. A couple of nights before I was heading back out, it was Friday, I believe, I'm at Gipper's with my old boss Mr. Haggerty and a couple other folks and One of the owners, Tom Fournier, comes in for some dinner. We each wave hello, as he knows my pops from way back when, as his son played him some fooseball under the guidance of Skip. But just a couple of minutes later he waves me over, saying he's got to talk to me about something. Let's just say I'm not always the most sober person in the crowd when I partake in Rollback Thursdays so I'm fairly certain he's about to bust my balls for getting nutty. Nothing of the sort! Tom Fournier is an avid 'Pad reader. So, Tom. In the spirit of the holidays I wish you a very Merry Christmas and I thank you for your continued support of the 'Pad. In the past I've done my best to publicize my patronage of L/A's best sportsbar, in fact I spent some of my 21st birthday at Gipper's (I had drank close to a fifth of Jack prior to arriving so I ordered a beer, walked back outside and passed out in the parking lot...but the effort was there.........).
With that, I enjoy knowing who reads. So, say hello sometime. Let me know what you like of my material and what you think sucks. But if you think anything I post sucks you can piss up a rope. THIS IS FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT ONLY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Oh, and Gov't Mule kicks some serious tail.  Don't forget that, either.

But in all seriousness it still doesn't really feel like Christmas. It's not the lack of cold or snow or a tree or decorations or any of those physical sorts of things, it's just my close friends and family are all 5000 miles away, for the most part. I've met plenty of cool people, I live with cool people, but, shit, it's just not the same. I can't bust my mom's chops for listening to shitty Christmas albums “just so she can say she's listened to them all this year” or my pops for opening his presents while someone else is opening one. He's selfish and greedy, really. Or getting on Krysta's nerves, well, just because it's easy and I'm a jerk. Then knowing you don't have to talk to anyone Christmas night because we're all going to end up at Gipper's anyway by six or seven and then trek to the Goose for the best Christmas party in the world. So, I know it's early, but can someone please play some Temple of the Dog on the jukebox and then sit up on top of the booths while it's playing, smiling down on the couple hundred folks packed in tight to wait a half hour in between beers because no one can move. I can't think of a better way to spend Christmas.

To those who I love: I love and miss you. To those that I miss: I miss you. To everyone else: Merry Christmas and thanks for reading.

And to all: The airport code is OGG. Just let me know the day and time you land.

I've been sick-ish for about a week and a half now. I say sick-ish because I'm definitely sick but I'm continually telling myself I'm not sick while trying to blame my symptoms on other contributing factors. For instance, all of this week has been super voggy. Vog is volcanic fog that I'm sure isn't exactly healthy for you. When the winds are right (or wrong, is more like it..) they blow over from the Big Island and it's super hazy and humid and it can get a little difficult to breathe. More or less, it sucks. So the vog has definitely been making me feel worse than just your standard cough due to a cold but at the same time I still don't feel that bad. My nose drips, I have a hacking cough and one of my ears has been plugged up for the last four days or so...but I'm not really sweating over it. I'll get better, right? I've been self-medicating with Wild Turkey, Steve-weiser, and plenty of salad. I can't for the life of me figure out why I'm not back to 100% yet. Wednesday night I smoked my first cigarette since July. I'm a bad person. Peer pressure is a motherfucker and those cancer sticks are just so darned tasty sometimes I need to have them. I'm not addicted...I'm not addicted..

No, I'm not addicted. They're just tasty treats sometimes.

Back to the cold. I know some of the reason I'm not super bummed about getting a cold is because it's still pretty gorgeous out every day. I'm not stuck in stale, office air all day. I sleep with my windows open. The poison has plenty of opportunity to drift away so I don't feel like I'm swimming in my own filth while I'm sick. I'd still prefer to not be snuffly, so hopefully two days off for the holiday will turn my mini-frown upside down..

It appears I've developed a pretty serious personality as the guy who rides his bike all the time without a shirt on. I have a rear rack ad bungee cord so I bungee my book and a t-shirt onto the back of my bike wherever I go, then if I need to wear a shirt I'll have the shirt to throw on. Then, when I head back up north I usually just ride shirtless again, even at night because it's still warm enough for me to work up a sweat so why would I wear a shirt for fifteen minutes just to take it off when I get home because I'm sweaty? I'd be left with a dirty shirt EVERY day. Talk about waste?!?! So I ride shirtless. It's pretty badass. I'm pretty badass. No big deal, ladies and gents.

It just funny that multiple people have come up and used “I know I see you riding your bike all the time, but I don't exactly know you” as an opener. It's gotta be the 'stache. Fear the 'stache. Finally, it's starting to get a little ridiculous. I think it may finally be time to locate some wax. Wax would kick the flair factor up at least another notch (From “WOOO” to “WOOOOOO..” I know eventually I'm not going to be able to go much higher. One of the bartenders thinks my look now is the spitting image of John Bonham, drummer for Led Zep. So, I've got that going for me, too. You've still got to wonder what people think when they see goofy-ass me, though, right? If I wasn't me I don't know what I'd think if I saw me. Hell, I am me and sometimes I see myself in the mirror and crack up. That's because I'm in on the joke. It's a GOOD one.

Thursday morning some landscapper folks came and trimmed up the palm trees right in front of our door. Now we've got a killer view of the ocean. Even more killer than we had before. One of the guys cutting down the palms was standing outside of our door and said: “Holy shit. Look at this fucking place. View of the ocean and Barbe's? That's fucking perfect.” If it's good enough for seedy landscapers then it's good enough for me. I'll leave you with this. I'm running out of steam. I don't work Friday so I wasn't concerned about staying up until all hours of the night, because if I get tired during a day off I can just take a nap. This brain dump was worth staying up until 2:30am for. And the Mule train is still going strong. In case I don't get anything else up before Saturday I hope you all have a holly, jolly Christmas. It's the best time of the year. Say hello to friends you know, and have a cup of cheer.

And in case you didn't hear:

O, by golly, have a holly, jolly Christmas this year, indeed. Cheers.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010

F-ing ATM's..

I went to the cash machine last night to withdraw some US currency so I could by a little salad and, wouldn't you know it, I left my card in the machine.  It was one of those old, bootleg machines where the card slot and receipt slots are no where near one another and the card doesn't get spit back out until AFTER the receipt.  That seems pretty back-assward, if you ask me.  PLUS almost all of the machines have gone to swipes so I always have my card re-elastized before I even enter my personal identification number.  F me, man.  I was at the cash machine attached to the bank so I hope, so long as no one took it out of the machine, that the machine ate the card and I'll be able to get it back tomorrow morning.  I need to go to the bank to deposit some checks so it shouldn't be too much of an inconvenience.  But, F, man.  Not too impressed with myself right now.

I didn't realize I had left my card in the machine until Sunday afternoon when I was attempting to pay for a late breakfast.  Bollocks.  There were intentions of this post being longer yesterday but I got sidetracked and now I need to head to the bank so I can allow myself ample time to pedal to work.  Sue me.  Cheers.

Friday, December 10, 2010

My freshman year in high school I played basketball on the freshman team and we ran train on just about every team we played. Somehow I managed to start my fair share of games and we'd run the same play to start every game and I'd always get the ball under the basket and lay it in. Well, shoot it from close range and have it go in. I could sky back then but my 5'8” wasn't getting up over the rim far enough to lay it in. But I averaged about 2.5 points per game that year. Not too shabby if you ask me.

I thought of this because I was listening to some profane songs on iTunes and I remembered back to freshman year, before internet downloading caught on, and I made our froshy warmup mix by placing a cd player next to a cassette recorder and dubbing the CD track onto the cassette while muting any time a profane word occurred. I'm pretty sure I got some “Ruff Ryder's Anthem” on there too, which is pretty impressive in hindsight considering the plethora of N- and F-words DMX throws around on that particular track. I know a couple of them I had the bunk-ass clean mix, from singles or random CD's, but for the most part the warmup tape was the result of my quick fingers. I know we had “Ain't Nothin' But A G Thang” on there. We were pretty badass for fourteen and fifteen year olds.


For my new position as a food runner I'm required to know ingredient lists for every item on the menu. Not gonna bullshit you: right now I don't even know what some of the dishes we serve look like. This could get pretty silly pretty quickly. I bought some flash cards though so I'm sure manage. Right now one of my tests is scheduled for the morning following our company Christmas Party. I've got three words for that test: NO. FUCKING. WAY. That shit's getting bumped ASAP tomorrow AM, and we'll leave it at that.

I guess out here there's no PC police because it's not called the “Holiday Party” or any of that shit. Like, “Yeah, it's a holiday party. I know Hanukkah happened two weeks ago. We only put it right before Christmas because that's when it's most convenient for everyone.” But pretty excited to get hammered drunk on the company's dime. Should be A-OK.


I probably should have been studying menu items last night but all I could do was play solitaire.  IT'S LIKE COLLEGE ALL OVER AGAIN.  Cheers.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

[Yet another..] Glimpse into my awkward life..

This has been an odd week. I'm not sure as though it was necessarily a great week, yet at the same time I wouldn't go so far as to call it a bad week. Just more or less odd. I've spent a few down minutes during the days and in the evenings attempting to make sense of how things actually got to where they did and then transpired in the manners in which they did and as I pause to reflect about all I can really say is things are just silly sometimes.

I had a female visitor this week not named Jenny or KathV who came to the island for the week and we didn't sleep together. The fact I didn't get laid didn't bother me particularly; as a twenty six year old male I'll more or less take any hide the carrot opportunities that arise these days but I don't lose sleep when things don't go my way in this particular department. This wasn't anyone who I had crush-ed or sweat-ed on or was interested in encountering on a more intimate level as a potential “one” or any of that idealized, romanticized b.s. which quite a bit of my younger days [read: wait that still happens, just not in this particular instance so let's move on..] were spent hemming and hawing over.

Tuesday evening after dinner prior to sleepytime I offered space in my bed. She chose the couch. That was the end of my effort for the week. Call me a gentleman in that respect. A boyfriend was mentioned beforehand. I didn't detect seriousness but I didn't inquire deeply and that sneaky shit has never really jived with me so the lack of action has undoubtedly provided me with less discontent now than I would be feeling had I fornicated with some guy's girlfriend, no matter the circumstance. Karma's comes around in unpredictable ways and I don't need to be worrying about any of that malarkey biting me in the ass anywhere down the line.

I suppose my growing aloha spirit allowed me to be selfless and permit travels to the island with more or less nothing in return besides an opportunity to play tour guide around what is commonly referred to as one of the most beautiful places on Earth. If this doesn't prove that I'm a nice guy – a gentleman – than I don't know what does.

[From here I wrote another page and a half that was actually going to break down more of the week's events that provided me to think to myself, “This is just downright odd and unlike anything I'd do (or generally any person I more-or-less associate with, for that matter..), especially while I'm on vacation, and I'm quite certain I'm not the only one who would find this odd, too..” but I don't really think there's any way I could elaborate on even one instance and my thought process which followed without the strong likelihood of sounding like a pretty big asshole or insensitive in some way and today I don't feel much like walking down that road. I've grown tired of slippery slopes. But as I am generally in the habit of pseudonyming (yep, just conjured up this term. I think it works..) the names of random folks who may not wish to be included on the 'Pad I bid Shirley safe travels back east and good luck with whatever work comes on Monday and, presumably, every Monday thereafter. Hope you enjoyed your time here immensely.]


I clipped my fingernails today but once I left the house I realized that I should have clipped my toenails, too. This wasn't a big deal but the nails on both of my big toes had pretty legit chips in them from a hike I went on a couple of days ago. So, in actuality, I should have clipped my toenails a couple of days ago but I put it off when I got home because I don't like to clip my nails right after I get out of the shower because sometimes when they're soft from the water I trim a little too much and then I have sore toes or fingers (DIGITS!) and that doesn't leave me with a smile: it leaves me with a frown. At present I still haven't clipped my toe nails. I hiked on Thursday. It's been a busy week........


The aforementioned hike was the Bamboo Forest hike I've gone on a couple of times (and posted pictures of..) well back in the day. March, maybe April. It's on the east side of the island and it's gorgeous. On the walk up (Ya, it's a walk, not really a hike. It takes about an hour to go in and an hour to go back. This isn't really the kind of training I need for a potential AT thru-hike, but you can't beat the scenery so I just go with it..) you pass three waterfalls along a river and then you hop in the river and swim about 100 yards upstream and climb some rocks to get to about a 70 footer. This time around the top fall was just a trickle but it never ceases to strike me with awe. SAY YES TO THE NATURAL SUBLIME...IT WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE ON THURSDAY.

Prior to this hike we cruised the West Maui mountains. I enjoy this drive a little more than the drive out to Hana for a couple of reasons:
  1. It's closer, and I don't really enjoy driving much.
  2. I think the West Maui drive is more gnarly than the road to Hana. 
Hana's longer so there are more one lane bridges and the like but I really think the West Maui drive has far more truly sketchy places. You're on cliff's edge a lot more, there's a greater chance of encountering fallen rocks in the road, it's less traveled. You're right on the oceanside, at times looking down hundreds (maybe even thousdands, the West Maui's peak over 6,000 so there are times you're way the f up there just skirting the shoreline..) of feet to the ocean below. It's just cooler. And that got the day started! BIG DAY ALREADY, WATCH OUT.

Then, AFTER the hike we drove up Haleakela, a 10,000ft “dormant” volcano. There was actually a little earthquake a couple of days before Thanksgiving that I forgot to mentioned because I didn't actually notice it but apparently shit shook at the restaurant and shit shook at the apartment. It was determined to be a 4.3. When this sucker pops again it's going to be CRAZY, but I don't anticipate being here when it does. I'll activate my car's wings and fly away. Yeah...I don't have a car. Guess it better not pop soon.

ANYWAYS we made it up to the top just a few minutes before sunset so it was absolutely nutty watching the sun set over the clouds. It felt like I was in a plane, only the plane was all glass and I wasn't cramped or angry about being on the plane. But yeah, I found the views to be breathtaking and as usual I'm quite certain my pictures did in no way, shape, or form do it justice. You could see the Big Island from up there. Yeah, it's big and all but it's also far away. That was pretty wild.

It was also cold as balls on top, as you're standing 10,000 feet above sea level and I guess that does something to bring the temperature down when the sun isn't directly overhead. We brought sweatshirts but we all had shorts on. It felt like being back in Maine in a way so I may investigate getting back to the top on Christmas Day. If I can't have a white Christmas I may just have to take an quasi-uncomfortably cold one, at least for a small portion of the day. Much like in Maine, my feet weren't cold. Maybe I have magic feet but neither one seems to mind sandals in the cold. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Now I can more or less say I've seen “everything” on the island. I wasn't in any sort of rush to drive up to the top because I had toyed a little while back with walking up a trail on the backside that starts at sea level and goes to 9000 ft, then down into the crater and meets another network of trails that gets you to the top. It would have been a pretty solid day hike but it also would have involved things like planning so I took the easy way out. In this instance I found the easy way to be worth it, to the point I can't imagine how crazy I would have felt walking up it and then seeing that view for the first time. I probably would have been more silly than the double rainbow guy. But, I didn't walk so I guess we'll never know. I'll have to settle with hiking Everest now. Cheers.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


I just had a pretty tremendous transition on my iTunes random play. I was only planning to listen to a little bit of Gin N Juice from the Snoop D O Double Gizzle but when that particular track ended I was pleasantly surprised with some Live Era Guns N Roses “Sweet Child O Mine.” Oh, baby. You know I like me some GNR most all of the time. So I got me some GNR at that particular time. THEN, the party continued to Alice in Chains' unplugged “Heaven Beside You.” I've got close to 18,000 songs in my library (within 300, not 3000, so it's close enough..) and music for days “(over fifty, actually, according to the neat little feature at the bottom of the window..) so it's nice to know that every now and again iTunes comes through and doesn't just throw out lame tracks when I'm on the random library shuffle. It hit some good, good tracks and that put a smile on my face. Nice evening, I suppose.


Today is pay day. Pay days are nice. I'm training for a new position at the restaurant next week so I won't be able to work as many shifts for the next couple weeks as I usually do while I go through the training to be a food runner. When training I do not get tipped out, eight of my shifts over the next two weeks will be for $7.25 an hour. YIKES! TIC-TACS IN STOCKINGS FOR EVERYONE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

But yeah, food running. This means that from time to time instead of wiping down dirty tables I will be delivering food to hungry patrons. This means more direct interaction with customers, which I'm not entirely thrilled about but I guess I'll deal. Right now I can go amongst my tasks in relative obscurity and on days when I don't feel like talking to people (read: most every day..) I just, well, don't. I put my sunglasses on and stare straight ahead.

To food run I'm require to pass a test on the menu. Ingredient lists, cooking methods, etc. I've got a 20 page packet I need to memorize for a 200+ question test. I feel like I'm back in college (well, middle school..) and I'm not happy about it. I went to the local office supply store and bought index cards to make flash cards for all the menu items and dressings and aoilis and other random junk we serve. If I actually go through with making flash cards this could be the most effort I've put into studying for anything in my entire life. This is not an exaggeration: I've never made flash cards before in my life. I've never done more than transcribe jumbled notes into more concise notes, often because of insider info on likely test questions. It will be cool to know what's in everything. I'll certainly be able to bug the shit out of a lot of people with this rather useless knowledge. And let me tell you: I tend to jump at any opportunity I have to add to my collection of useless knowledge.

Have you ever seen something and been like, “Fuck, that's such a good idea how had I never thought of that before?” Not like half the shit on the infomercials only on a smaller scale, something that probably won't make you a millionaire. I won't be saying, “Sham wow” any time soon. But a friend of mine has a facebook album (she's a real friend, though. Not just a facebook friend.) that she titled “3 6 5” and it contains a new picture every day. I just found this pretty cool and when I saw it awhile ago I found myself saying “Fuck, that's such a good idea how had I never thought of that before?”

It's not anything I'm thinking of adding to the 'Pad or stealing (facebook albums do absolutely nothing for me.) because, I don't know, I try to keep things original. But at the same time, what's really original, you know? Most everything that we do is the result of learned behavior, right?  Even if we're making an independent decision very few decisions in life, if any at all, are true coin flips, right?  I'm not talking about walking down the street and getting hit from behind by a car but just on a day-to-day, week-to-week, year-to-year, decade-to-decade, over the course of a lifetime can you ever actually say you had a totally original thought or action that wasn't prompted positively or negatively by something else, or a multitude of factors that occurred previous to this particular "original thought?" I don't really think of myself as having a deterministic worldview but at what point will nothing be original?  Are we already there yet?  Is building a faster microprocessor really anything "new and original," or is it just now a slight improvement over an already created process?  Will we ever reach a time when EVERYTHING has already been written down, and thoughts must regularly be footnoted?  

Where the hell am I going with this?  I don't know and I only had three beers six hours ago.  

I know I'm not the first to think this, so even this isn't an original thought. GASP! Think about that as you go about your Thursdays...Cheers (I was going somewhere with this but lost my steam. Then tried to revise and add and just made it worse.  Premature idea evacuation.  Sorry..).

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Today I wanted to do some laundry after work.  So once I finished my shift I changed and left my clothes in my locker as I usually do before I went upstairs to eat my free meal.  Today I chose a delightful cheeseburger and I threw some mango barbecue sauce on it.  HOOOOOO WEEEEEEE.  But in the hoopla of all of that delicious dinner I forgot my clothes in my locker downstairs and just pedaled home.  Sonofabitch.  The kicker was I NEEDED to do laundry today: my shit stank.  It was already a couple of days overdue so I really wasn't comfortable stretching any longer.  I only like to do laundry on day shift days or days I have off, because I don't like to do laundry late in the evening when I generally just want to go to sleep and I always feel like a dick that the washing machine and/or dryer may be keeping someone awake, and I also don't want to put the pressure on and have to get up in the morning to wash my gear before work.  So where I got home around seven I just hopped back on my two wheeler and cruised back down to Hula in back.  A little extra exercise has never hurt anyone but at the same time that shit took damn near 45 minutes.  Walk outside.  Unlock bike.  Get music situated.  Ride.  Get to Hula.  Lock up bike.  Walk to get stank ass clothes.  Get stank ass clothes.  Walk to bike.  Unlock bike.  Pedal home.  Lock bike back up.  Jeeze.  It's a tough life I lead.


It's been a full moon out here which I think means it's a full moon damn near everywhere but I enjoy riding quite a bit once the moon has come up high.  Saturday and Sunday nights I worked late so I was rolling home around eleven and the moon was super high and super bright and I could see the neighboring island of Molokai quite clearly.  It was pretty impressive with the waves rolling in and whatnot.  Was a pretty good treat.  Then tonight when I rolled home the first time around seven it was dark as shit, but when I was rolling the second time, from a little after eight until about 9, it was getting brighter and brighter as the moon got higher and higher.  So while the need for a second ride irritated me, the view was much better the second time around.  So, lucky me?


NASCAR's Sprint Cup season came to a close this past Sunday with Jimmie Johnson winning his fifth consecutive title.  Sam Thomas is a big #48 fan.  Well, claims to be.  I bet his sorry ass didn't watch more than one race all year long.  And the guy is from Virginia.  Note to SThomas: You're a jerk.  SMOKE in '11 BABAYYYYYYYYY.

But on the NASCAR front here's a video of Daytona being repaved.  It's more or less like paving a regular road except the whole track is banked so the equipment has to be hung on the correct angles by cranes and other serious machinery.  It's pretty damn technical for some shit ass, redneck sport.
Excuse me while I crack open a tall, cool Budweiser to honor of this display of hillbilly ingenuity.  Cheers (This surface lasted fifty years and then they  tore up and repaved it in nineteen weeks.  Private project vs public project, much?  Fuck you, government.  Take a god damn note and stop wasting my tax dollars with slow ass crews.  All the government should be doing is paving roads and protecting our borders, anyway.  GET YOUR GUNS READY, FOLKS.  THE END IS NEAR!!!!!!  K, I got carried away [Takes deep breath.  "Three two one.  One two three.  What the heck is bothering me?"  Ah, good.  Let's proceed]...but I still thought the timeline compared to the scale of the project was impressive..).

Monday, November 22, 2010

Joke in the form of a question..

How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Click to continue and you will receive the answer to the question..

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Well, I was going to throw it back.  Then I came across this:
Enjoy your Sundays, folks.  Cheers.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I guess there are some things you just don't skimp on..

I eat peanut butter sangwiches a lot (We've been over this before.  Open faced, one side peanut butter, one side jelly or jam or fluff.  Then folded together.  I call it a bullet.  It tastes just like it smells: DELICIOUS..).  I never skimp on peanut butter.  It's always a name brand, generally with Jif being my favorite.  I wait until it goes on sale and then I scoop a couple and go from there.  It's especially nice when it's two for three dollars, but I'll take two for $4 in a pinch when I need that shit, maaaaaaan.  Today Smucker's strawberry jam was on sale - the first time I've seen a big jar of Smucker's on sale since I've been out here.  So I picked up one and finally got around to making a sangwich bullet just right now.

I may never go back.  This stuff is incredible.  It's so much goddam better than the generic strawberry preserves crap I've been buying since I got out here.  The sale ends tomorrow so I'm headed back in the AM to get another two or three big jars.  I mean, my mind is blown right now.  It is SO. DAMN. GOOD.  I can't believe I had been selling my peanut butter sangwiches short for this long.  Yes, a lot of it had to do with price but now I'm nervous I may never go back.  Today I was shooting the shit with one of our bartenders before I started to work and he had just recently gotten back from Japan and he was talking about the Kobe beef they serve and how it's kind of ruined steak for him since he's been back.  Hula has a steak special once a week that's a 24oz. dry aged rib eye, a cowboy steak, if you will.  I've had it and he asked my opinion as I've had it before a little while back and he was going to try it for the first time tonight and I told him it was pretty good.  That immediately ruined it for him.  I haven't heard his verdict but he was going into things a bit sourly.  He wanted me to say GREAT.  But it wasn't great; it was pretty good.  It's listed at $40 or something like that so for a $40 steak I thought it was pretty good.  For the $20 I paid for it I suppose it was a delicious and tasty steak.  Close to great.  But I'm sure it's no Kobe.  I'd like to say it wasn't up to Mac's snuff, either, but that could just be me being a homer.  When I was home my folks and I got some take out and we got some kind of "bullet" or "bb's" appetizer that was tip steak wrapped in bacon.  Let me tell you: they were tremendous.  Bacon makes everything about 1000000% better.  I bet if you took some doggie poo poo and wrapped it in bacon it would at least be palatable.  Sloat: try this out and let me know your thoughts.

ANYWAYS now that I've refreshed the Smucker's taste buds I'm not sure if my peanut butter sangwiches will ever match up to today's without Smucker's on the right side, playing STRONG SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to the peanut butter's LEFT SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Maybe I'm just overcooking my own grits here.  Shit, who am I kidding, I'll still buy whatever's cheapest when all my jars of Smucker's are gone.

When I was smaller and younger we'd pick fruits and then make our own strawberry, blueberry and raspberry jams or jellies or whatever.  I know there's a distinction between jams, jellies, and preserves but I don't recall now what the hell the differences are.  I think it has to do with texture and straining or something or that nature.  Marmalade, too.  But we never made marmalade so that's a whole separate can of words.  But I'd always try to add extra sugar to the recipes.  I think all kids do that.  When I'd make Kool-Aid I'd sugar the shit out of it.  It was like Fun Dip at the bottom of your glass.  Ah, memories.  Cheers "(and time for another delicious peanut butter and jam sangwich before bed!!!!!).

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Kindergarten throwback..

I was logged into facebook a couple of days ago and I happened to see someone had their profile picture as David the Gnome riding on the back of his friend Fox (or whatever that particular fox was named on the show; I don't recall it..) and I was brought back to five year old me, still picking my nose and peeing my pants every now and again (I guess old habits die hard..) but ALWAYS watching David the Gnome on Nickelodeon.  This was classic children's television at it's finest.  And Tom Bosely as David?  What the shit?  That let's you know it was ahead of it's time.

Sad to say, as I was watching this video right before posting I still remembered half the words.  I don't think I've seen the show in well over fifteen years and the last time I heard the theme was probably early on in high school when I was trying to appear clever by downloading the song in Sloat's basement.

After today, however, we'll all be able to remember the last time we watched an episode:

I googled "the gnome" as that's the title of the book the show is based on as I finished up Watership Down a couple of weeks ago and I thought another tale of little woodland creatures may prove interesting.  No book came up immediately so I clicked on David the Gnome's wiki page and learned that this is actually a spanish show dubbed into english.  I think that makes it even better though I'm not sure why.

Good to see the Spaniards were pioneers in the children's television industry in the 80's.  Muy Bueno!  Cheers "(On an unrelated related note for the longest time I thought kindergarten was spelled kindergarden.  I mean a long time.  Well into high school, at least.  What, you grow kids into elementary school, right?  I guess I'm not as smart as I think I am sometimes..).

Monday, November 15, 2010


It appears in all of my late-October concerting and wedding-attending and westward traveling and starting back to working I totally forgot that the 'Pad's two year anniversary occurred on October 30th at about 8:30pm east coast time.  This was a Thursday and shortly before I headed to Gipper's for their weekly after 9pm roll-back beer prices.  Some things haven't really changed that much.  I guess you could say my first post was sort of a mission statement of sorts:
I really have nothing better to do these days. I lead a fairly uneventful and simple life, but let's see if I can lie cheat and steal my way into interesting. I look forward to the challenge. Let me know your thoughts. And grammatical and spelling errors. Those really grind my gears. Cheers.
Uneventful is all relative, I suppose, but I'm pretty certain I've done an OK job of sticking to my guns as far as where I started, where I've gone, and where I'll continue to go (spelling errors be damned; it became far too much work to re-read before posting...we're all friends here, right?).  I appreciate that people read but at the same time this is as much for my own enjoyment as it is for you few folks there that get off at the "My Yellow NotePad" exit on the information superhighway from time to time (It'll always be Exit 12 in my eyes.  Dated folks in the 207 I hope you remember those simpler times and smile.  Writing that put a smile on my face and a glisten in my eye..).  If it wasn't for the people I care about who read this to keep tabs on me I'd have about thirty three hits from Asia right now.  I'm not always PC.  I don't always hit the ball out of the park when it comes to my commentary.  I probably use far too many commas.  As well as providing an overabundance of "I guess" I suppose" and "but anyways."

But anyways after a spotty few months I think I'm back in the right mindset for regular posting.  This is post number 95 for the year.  I know there's no way I'll get anywhere close to the near-200 show I put on in the year to close the decade but I'm looking to settle back into a routine of 3-5 posts a week with a couple being short and sweet videos or links or just random shit I've stumbled upon and a couple more being of my garden variety "this happened" or "this is what I think" or "let me elaborate for the folks at home."  I don't know if I still have the power to put asses in the seats like I used to; I feel some of you may still be jaded from the disinterest I showed over the last three or four or five or, hell, I don't know how long it's been since I even got ten posts up in a month.  But, god dammit, this head has thoughts in it and I might as well get as many of them out there before we're taken over by China and chained up in barns for years and this happens (Don't click the link unless you want to throw up in your mouth a little.  I feel ill just thinking about posting it and I apologize in advance.  But, you know China will be knocking on our door one day, right?  So keep buying on credit, then I'll be holed up on my homestead, good lord willin'..).

For those of you who are new to the game and want to kill some time scroll back through my "turned pages," an archive of blogs past.  Somewhere around late October or early November I did a one year anniversary tribute blog that contained some fan favorites.  Clicking on a year will give you the whole year on a page, clicking on a month will give you the whole month on a page, clicking on a title will give you that particular post and only that particular post.  Most of the time I black out (figuratively, I don't often drink and blog.  BWI can lead to improper grammar and usage as well as a high probability of spelling errors) and forget what I wrote about so this may even be good for me.  I hope I haven't repeated myself a lot.  That would just be shitty all the way around.

As I've said for quite some time, as long as you keep reading I'll keep writing.  So thanks again for sticking with me and here's to many more postings of inconsequential instances of silly thought.  Cheers.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Another week in the books. I have a little weekly calendar Ma gave me that I use to write my schedule down in. All the scheduling is done online and I still check it daily (pretty much every time I fire my machine up to find the on-ramp to the information superhighway which is usually more than once a day but whatever..) but I still write it down every week. I have paydays written in there, too. Because I'm an anal-retentive dork. But the calendar has a little ribbon that is sewn into the binding and acts as a bookmark so it's always nice to turn the page on weeks after my last shift. Earlier in the summertime this would sometimes happen on Thursdays, and let me tell you in case you don't know: It feels GREAT to end a week on a Thursday. UN-BE-LIEVABLE. Since I've gotten back this has happened on Saturday once, then Friday, and this week Saturday again. One day weekends are pretty lame but sometimes I've got to work to live the lifestyle I've become accustomed to.


Both times I've headed back out here Ma has stuck a little note in my effects along with a small bit of spending monies. The notes are sweet. The money certainly isn't necessary but I've yet to find the note before I've left the state so once it crosses state lines I consider un-gifting in poor taste so I find ways to spend it. This time around I was instructed to buy something nice for my new apartment. I bought tequila shots for my roommate and some friends on Halloween. That brought good karma to the place, so in turn thank you, Ma, for allowing me to purchase good karma for my new living situation.

I don't really stress about furniture and that sort of junk. The place came “mostly” furnished with beds in each room and a couple of couches and a TV and a kitchen table (with chairs!!) and enough kitchenware to more or less get by, so about the only thing I kind of could use is a reading lamp and maybe a small fan. However, I've gotten by without those for the last couple of weeks so I don't really see a point in getting them when I've been managing fine without them. For instance, I've needed a soap dish, too. But this time around when I opened a new bar of soap instead of opening it from the side-like I cut the top off. PRESTO: soap dish. You can give me shit about being cheap all you want but it's creative frugality and I'm fairly certain it'll pay off somewhere, somehow down the line. You can write that down.

I guess it's just I see people move out here and then spend A LOT of money to start out. People get here, get settled for a couple of months and everything is gravy and they decide, “Well, I'm here, I might as well ship my car out here as well as a bunch of my home-shit.” Only to see them leave six months later and ship cars and home-shits right back. When all the while they had been getting by fine beforehand without any of that hoopla. To me that's just basic, need-based economics. I don't need a car, ergo I don't buy one and sold mine back home. Some additional comforts are nice, but why not pick up a cheap-ass Maui hoopty for half the price of shipping a car one way? Maybe it's just I don't feel like I need all that much to live comfortably.  Counter to what is certainly an overly consumer-rich culture we have here in the ol' U.S.of A., more is not always better.  Some people poke fun at my bike but biking around is some of the most fun I have out here. It feels like freedom. And that's what America is about, right (I know Dodge says America is about cars AND freedom but fuck that noise..)?  

I'm pretty sure I posted this very early on in the 'Pad's history, circa late 2008, but I believe Time's article on The 100 Challenge should be examined (or reexamined, for those of you who have been here from jump..) by us all.  
"It comes down to the products vs. the promise," says organizational consultant Peter Walsh, who characterizes himself as part contractor, part therapist. "It's not necessarily about the new pots and pans but the idea of the cozy family meals that they will provide. People are finding that their homes are full of stuff, but their lives are littered with unfulfilled promises."
Maybe this is all to say that I've grown quite content with my daily and weekly routines.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I need a DVD player ASAP..

This has been out of my life for too long.  I think Sunday I'm going to make it happen.

And if this doesn't help get you over the hump then I don't know what will...Cheers.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Stolen photos..

If facebook's good for one thing it's that you can look at other people's photos and represent them as your own as the need arises.  For instance, when you are in Hawaii with your digital camera yet the cord to connect said camera to your computer is 5000 miles away.  So, here are some pictures of the new place and Halloween I "borrowed" from my new roommate, Jon's buddy (and now my buddy), Louis:
Front stoop.  Gonna do me plenty of sitting here.  Already have, actually.  And, of course, my baby Blue..
I don't think "plastic" and "white picket fence" went together in the 50's or whenever the hell white picket fences were in style, but we've got a classy plastic one close by.  Plus a towering view of the ocean and the island of Moloka'i.  It's more impressive in person.  It always is..
My lair.  I offered the master to Louis to be a nice guy.  He, in turn, offered it back to me.  So, I, in turn, took it.  Swell quarters and my own shitter: I really can't ask for much more.


In other news I was on Wiki last night looking up random bits of information (if you're ever bored just go to Wiki, pick something to search for, then start reading and click on links that seem interesting within whatever page you're reading.  You can do this for hours.  Well, at least I can..) and ended up learning more about The Black Crowes' The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion, the same album I brought up a week or so ago.  Anyways, did you know this album was the first album in Billboard history to have four (4!!!!) #1 Mainstream Rock hits on it.  Out of ten songs.  Strong?  Nah, quite strong.
And as I do a bit more research now, The Black Crowes are one of two artists to have consecutive #1 songs, and it occurred with two songs from this album.  First "Sting Me," followed immediately by "Remedy."  STP is the other with two songs of of the extra-tasty album Purple, "Vasoline" and "Interstate Love Song," respectively.  Pretty neat, right?
But back to what I found out last night:

The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion was #1 on the Billboard 200 back in '92, and guess what album preceded AND followed it?  A little group known as Kris Kross, with their album Totally Krossed Out.  Yep, "Jump," "Warm It Up," "I Missed The Bus."  This was the first "real" cassette I had ever gotten.  By real, I mean not Raffi or Rick Charette or Disney or that sort of stuff.  It was a Christmas gift from an Aunt.  Auntie got skillz.

I'm pretty hard, right?  Getting a Jermaine Dupri-produced gem ups my "badass quotient" to the n'th degree, if I do say so myself.  


Back to the pictures, here are a couple from The [Blackout] Express that was Halloween..

Forgotten news & notes..

I mentioned awhile back that I have, in fact, moved into a new place.  El apart-e-ment-o.  It's no third floor penthouse on Wood St. in the Lew but it's not too shabby, all things considered.  Who am I trying to's pretty dope.  In a perfect world I'd post some pictures of it but as luck would have it I left the cord that connects my camera to my laptop in Maine.  OOPS!  Guess I need to jet back soon, right??

I noticed I was without a cord after I took a few pictures of Reese's Pieces that I put together in the shape of flowers.  Well, I thought they looked flowery.  I used one brown Pieces for the center and then put three orange and three yellow Pieces around the brown Pieces so it looked like a pretty, colorful flower.  I apparently have way too much time on my hands as I wasn't under the influence of any PED's and I still found this enthralling for a good twenty minutes.  Once I made the flower I had to eat the flower whole, though.  All seven Pieces.  I didn't want to pick petals.  I would have much preferred Peanut Butter M&M's but I'm not sure if Peanut Butter M&M's would match up as well as the Pieces did.  It was quite remarkable, actually.  It was like Mr. Reese himself chose the diameter of his Pieces to require six more Pieces to fit exactly around the circumference of one Pieces.  No, wait.  Chances are this is a math equation and chances are good you could do this with about any circular object, no matter the size, you'd just have more negative space in between the circles that would kind of look triangular.  Triangles in between my petals would look shitty, so I'll stick with my Pieces for art and Peanut Butter M&M's for eat.  I just got geometric on your asses, right there.  But, math majors, help me out.  If you have seven circles of equal diameter if you circle six of them around the seventh it should always fit pretty good, because of pi, right?

I just found the answer using cans of chili and soup.  It's a pretty good fit.  You all can thank me later as I know this has crossed all of your minds many times.  You may now continue with your respective days.


I will try to get pictures up sometime soon, some way, somehow.  This place is pretty dope; I wouldn't bullshit and it's not just because I'd been couch surfing for the two-plus months prior to move-in.  We're on the ground floor with an ocean view right out of our front door.  Plus I can lock my bike up right next to our door.  That was the big selling point for me, really.

But, ya, now I actually have places for folks to crash so Samm-o: whenever you want to find that aloha spirit again you've got an open invitation.

Many mahalos also go out to the few folks who still read this and actually check in fairly frequently to see that I commonly go days without posting and even on the off chance I do post I write about fucking Reese's Pieces flowers.  Seriously, though.  They look just like cute little flowers.  Colorful and daisy-like.  But, anyways: YOU'RE ALL INVITED, TOO!  COME JOIN THE PAHHHHTAYYYY!  Cheers.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Notepad Abides..

Forgot about this one, but the original incarnation of the yellow notepad came in handy during my trip back to the islands. As I think I mentioned before I got delayed quite a bit and had to get pretty creative to make it back to Maui in just one day so each time I was on the phone with an airline representative (The first three or four times this was with United and then finally with Hawaiian to make sure I'd be able to hop the “shuttle” over...or jettle, maybe? Jet-shuttle, get it? Catchy, methinks..) I needed to remember flight times and flight numbers and various other factoids and the yellow notepad came through in the clutch. As did the houndstooth hip pouch. You haters out there can zip it about my bootleg look because as everyone in line was scrambling though their carry ons in hope of coming up with writing implements and paper I had paper, pencils and pens for miles right close by. I was even kind enough to give out two sheets and let someone borrow a pen, too. Good travel karma, right there. A couple people had the iPhones and blackberrys (that's correct pluralization, right? As it's a proper name, not the delicious fruit. I think I'm correct..) but it looked miserable having to hold the phone, say, “Yep, hold on,” take the phone away from their ears, type a couple of letters or numbers or words or whatever, then say “OK, go,” and do it again and again and again. I plopped that phone on in between my shoulder and ear and just wrote away. No delay, no pause. “Yep, yep, yep.” I kick ass. Do not hate on my travel ability. I hate airline travel but I'm skillfully adapting to it. Any travel with windows up is pretty lame, if you ask me.


Speaking of old business pertaining to my flight from east to west, while in Chicago awaiting my flight to LAX I had a chance to talk to Clay Matthews' parents for a minute.  Actually, Clay Matthews III's parents, as Clay Matthews' father is Clay Matthews Jr.  Clay Matthews III is a helluva player for the Packers and former USC stud, and his pops was a linebacker in the league for many, many years in the 70's, 80's, & 90's.  Clay Jr.'s brother, Bruce played tackle for nineteen seasons in the league and started close to 300 games in his career.  Never missed a start, either.  First ballot hall of famer, you know, just your average career.  As I look at Clay Jr's wiki page is tells me he played in the 16th most games all time.  Bruce never missed a start in his career and, until BrettFave passes him this season, played in the most games ever by a non kicker/punter.  This family has nothing to sneeze at when it comes to football.  The third Matthews son is a linebacker at Oregon now and they're, oh, #2 in the country right now.  Ho hum.

I knew a a lot more about Bruce than I did about Clay Jr.  I knew Clay Jr. was in the league but I didn't know he had played as long as he did until today.  I guess you learn something new(-ish..) every day.
Speaking of the league: the TV show The League on FX sucks big donkey balls.  I watched the first season and it was kind of funny but the one episode I saw of season 2 was awful.  They had commissioner issues but these issues were decided upon by 5 people.  WHERE THE HELL WAS THE INPUT FROM THE OTHER THREE PEOPLE WHO SUPPOSEDLY PICKED VIA TELEPHONE IN SEASON ONE?!  Trash, if you ask me.  Talk about a plot hole.  Clearly these writers have very little knowledge of the seriousness most long time gamers take their fantasy football.  This shit pisses me off.  If you've only got one good season of ideas don't come back for season 2 and just fill it with fear boners and shit like that.  The fear boner storyline began pretty humorously but lost all steam when the competition for new commissioner came down to a running race watched by the three other people who live close by without any input from the remainder of the league.  Poppycock.  Five-team leagues don't fucking happen.  See?!  I'm swearing over the ridiculousness of this show.  GET IT OFF THE AIR ASAP.  I'd like to burn Craig right now with what he used to do in high school (Hell, may still do, I'll have to ask Nick..) but that's a league-eyes-only matter and not fit for discussion here.  You're lucky I respect the sanctity of our league, Mr. Cormier, Jr.  AS ANY TRUE FANTASY FOOTBALLER WOULD, UNLIKE THE SHMUCKS WHO WRITE FOR THAT BABY TURD EXCUSE FOR A TV SHOW.
But at any rate I was at O'Hare waiting for my connection to LAX having already bumped my LAX-Maui flight to LAX-Honolulu via telephone when I saw this big middle aged dude milling about.  Not out of the ordinary by any stretch at a big airport, I know.  He happened to be standing relatively close to where I was sitting down when the woman he was with turned around and she was wearing a "ROSE BOWL GAME" backpack with "MATTHEWS" embroidered on it.  I had to go over and say hello and demonstrate my knowledge of the Matthews' family.  They were super nice folks.  Still pumped up after Green Bay's dismantling of the BrettFavre disaster a couple of days beforehand.  

They flew economy plus, not first class.  I respected that, too.  

As I was boarding, long after the Matthews' had boarded as they sprung for middle class, a woman came up and asked who it was I was talking to.  I told her and she was super excited because her son played D-line at U Idaho so she knew her son would love to hear about who she was on the plane with.  I envisioned him saying, "Cool, mom..." in a brush off way but knowing deep down he would have liked to have been there.  20-something sons are jerks.  Her son is a high school football coach, so we talked high school fooseball coaching in general for a brief minute, too.  The jet bridge was long, I'm not making it up.  That day was easily more than I had ever spoken in airports in my life, combined, including trips I traveled with other people.  I guess I was in a good mood.  


For the past couple of days it's been raining intermittently here.  And by intermittently I mean 90% of the time it is showering, 5% of the time it is raining, and the other 5% the sun is out.  More or less all this means is I get SOAKED on my bike rides.  I need to keep a towel on my bike at all times so when I get to wherever I'm going I can towel off before proceeding inside.  It's not really that bad, I suppose, as it's still 75 out when this is going on.  But I didn't move away from Vacationland to live on a vacation island for it to rain all of the time. This has got to stop ASAP.

People look at me like I'm crazy, too, when I ride around in the rain.  It hardly rains like this here, well, ever, so I'll take 350 days of sunny bike riding and fifteen or so lousy ones all the way to the bank.  All the way to the bank in the rain today, actually, as I need to order checks today.  Life doesn't stop because of showers, unless you're the Wicked Witch of the West.  My clever wit doesn't stop, either.  Cheers.

Monday, November 1, 2010

"What, did you go on vacation...?

"...I figured. You're looking pretty pale."

So began my return to the Hula Grill Wednesday, not much more than twelve hours after my return to the 808 from the friendly, homely confines of the 207. It's a tough life I lead, really. I found the aforementioned comment pretty hysterical as most people returning from vacation stand out because they are, in fact, tan. Maui living is...different. 


Back home on my way to Albany to catch the Crowes it was intermittently raining cats and dogs so I was forced to use my windshield wipers  from time to time.  I am tremendously OCD when it come to windshield wiper operation.  I believe windshield wiper speed should be adjusted according to the precipitation and if precipitation slows then windshield wiper speed should also slow accordingly.  As a passenger if this does not occur then I get annoyed, exceedingly so if the wipers make that annoying "SQUEEEEEAK" when there's not enough moisture on the windshield to properly lubricate the wipers.  I'm not kidding, I freak out inside when this happens.  It ruins my driving experience.

In my Jeep well back when I didn't have the slow-ish speed that you could adjust.  I just had "OFF," "ON," and "SUPER FAST."  "SUPER FAST" should never be used, except in hurricane- or tornado-like conditions.  
The one, ONE time I used the "SUPER FAST" setting was in my Volvo cruising from Nashville to Manchester, TN to Bonnaroo when we drover through tornado reports.  It was frightening.  I was going 35 on the highway and we could see ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT RAINDROP SLATTER, even in "SUPER FAST" mode.  Never do this; it's not much fun.  Nick can attest to this.  He was hating life.  My driving was piss poor at best that morning.  FYI: PED'S increase chances of hangover.
At any rate, this lack of options contributed to my enjoyment of driving as long as I could with raindrops accumulating on the windshield until, just prior to raindrop-out, "SWISH."  This wasn't turning the windshield wipers on but rather just slipping the jab, so to speak, and sparking the single shot wiper.  I'd drive for plenty long just single shotting every 30 seconds or so rather than have my wipers moving two drops a pass.  That's just how I rolled.  This kept me squeak-free for a good six years.  

When I picked up the Volvo and because a two car family I gained not only another car but another speed of windshield wiper freedom, in the form of the "SLOWER ON" speed.  It was handy in that I didn't have to slip the jab quite as much but obviously it was nowhere as handy as the more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do that has been present on most cars built in the last, oh, fifteen years or so.
ASIDE HERE: This is not to say until this time home I've never used this more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do, just that it's never been my daily driver.  Ma's gold Chevrolet Malibu used to have this twisty speed, I just didn't drive it enough to call it my daily-driver and thus develop the idiosyncraties that generally result with someone spending an inordinate amount of time with something.   
SECONDARY ASIDE: This more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do is the doo-dad that twists on your windshield wiper stick that, when clicked to the corresponding angle (usually it goes from "OFF" to this more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do to "ON" to "SUPER FAST" in one direction and then you can slip the jab in the other direction.  So when in the more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do setting you can twist the column and adjust the delay between wipes from just more than your standard "ON" setting to fifteen or so seconds between passes.  Glad we cleared that up..
ANWAYS I drove Ma's Nissan to Albany and this car, being built within the last fifteen or so years, possessed the more modern, multi-speed twister how-do-you-do setting.  We'll call it the "DELAY" setting from here on out.  As the rain changed speed I adjusted the tempo of the delay accordingly.  I'd say over the four hours of on-and-off wet travel I ended up "ON" for less than five minutes.  Between an hour and ninety minutes were spent in the "DELAY" range.  This was changed about every thirty seconds because I NEED MY WIPERS TO BE RESPONDING TO THE EXACT RATE OF RAINDROP FALL.  Then the rest was a jab here and a jab there.

Skip doesn't do any of this.  Hasn't for as long as I can remember.  All I remember is "SQUEEEEAK."  Still hurts my ears.  It drives me up a WALL.  Love you, Skip.  You don't read.  Ma does.  She'll tell you.  I expect a "FUCK YOURSELF" text or voice message within the next twelve hours.  I deserve it.  But, god dammit, dial in your wipers, folks.


Also the drive I listened to the Crowes' The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion.  Their second album.  As it turned out they played quite a bit at the show but it was certainly nice to reconnect with this gem.  Ten high-quality songs.  A lot more blues-rocky than their debut.  I'mma huge fan.  Few folks still live in the 207 but most Bull Moose's stock this used for under $3 ($2.97, but still, under three Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers..).  If you like the Crowes and don't have this album then you're a fool.  If you don't know if you like the Crowes then scoop the for three bucks and you'll see that you like the Crowes.  It's that simple.  I even provided you with a picture of the album cover so you'll know what to look for.  It's delightful.

-Note to KathV & Jenn with two N's: Here is your test: If you have been staying current with your readership of the 'Pad I will find out quite soon.  I obtained a copy of the Crowes show we went to.  Ya.  "She Talks To Angels."  "Hard To Handle." "By Your Side."  SEVENTEEN MINUTES of "Wiser Time." A cover of Velvet Underground's "Oh! Sweet Nuthin'."  All that.  Three hours of memories can be yours if I receive in text message within the next 48 hours: "And the band played on, in golden harmony."



Saturday, October 30, 2010

Gone 'til November..

I'm plum-tuckered out.  Things have been crazy busy this week.  I suppose crazy busy isn't the appropriate adjective; I'm just flat out exhausted from traveling, haven't had a huge amount of time to relax, and don't see that time coming for about a week.  I learned that the midwest was having some of the worst weather they've seen in 50 or so I sitting on my flight out of PWM Tuesday morning heading for Chicago.  SWELL!  Haha.  O'hare grounded all planes for a couple of hours but the folks in Portland were kind enough to let us off the plane while we were grounded.  Back in college I was in Minneapolis heading back to Maine and a snowstorm grounded us for six hours and they kept us on the plane for the first five of those hours.  It was fucking brutal.  I don't swear a lot on here but that's just how brutal it was.  Miserable.  The only time in my life I didn't bat an eye at paying $8 for a beer was when they let us off for a half hour so me and another guy from Bates sprinted to the bar, pounded beers, then ran back to re-board.  Airline travel is miserable.

Anyways I missed my connection for LAX but managed to get on another flight a bit later so I was still set to get to Maui no sweat.  The connecting flight, however, was delayed in Boston for the same reasons we were delayed in Portland so the plan was about 90 minutes late arriving, and concurrently, I missed another connection.  Boo hoo.  So, instead of flying to Maui I took the last flight from LAX to Honolulu, then had to book a separate flight over to Maui.  BUT I MADE IT!  Landed around 9pm, got picked up around 10pm, was in bed around 11pm, then up to move into my new digs for 9am the next morning.  Hindsight says this was poor planning on my part and hindsight is always 20/20.  

New place is swell, though (I wanted to devote an entire post to this and call it "New Place, New Plan (Redux)" but as with the first "New Place, New Plan" only a couple people get the joke so it's not a huge hit humor-wise and I'm on my way to work so if it ever comes it'll have to wait..).  The last couple nights have finally felt like I have a home, whereas my first few months here I felt like a guest in a house and the couple months after that in August and September I felt like a transient.  Having a place to live that you can call your own is nothing to sneeze at.  Remember that, kids.

Time to make the donuts.  Posts won't be coming up for the next couple of days with Halloween making a return to my life.  I'm not super stoked on my costume but I think I'll make an OK Zorro if I can locate a sword and some mustache wax.  Halloween's still weird for me.  It's been all downhill since this:
Cheers (And yes, I will be talking about this costume for the rest of my life.  Old, wrinkly women in the nursing home will be jumping my shrunken, calcium-deficient bones in fifty or sixty years at this picture.  Admit it: It was, in fact, that good..).

Monday, October 25, 2010

Tired, but wiser for the time..

It's been really nice to be back in Maine for the last couple of weeks.  I don't know if I was busy or not.  It felt kind of busy but some of it was just challenges that are presented when I wanted to venture around the Northeast without a car of my own to drive.  So some flexibility and fluidity with scheduling needed to apply.  All in all I think I managed to squeeze in a lot of high-priority events.  Things got off to a proper start with a Flatbread dinner minutes after landing at PWM and continued on a proper path from there, as Wallingford's cider donuts were waiting patiently as I arrived home.  TREMENDOUS.  Made it to Gipper's plenty, and all signs lead to having one last dinner there Monday evening prior to my Tuesday, 6:33am departure from the Portland International Jetport as I resume my island odyssey. 

All things considered it was a fantastic trip home.  I feel like this time around I had plenty more big ticket days than my trip home in July as I was more judicious in my traveling.  Yes, I spent a little under nine hours driving to and from Albany, NY, but saw a killer Black Crowes show with my sistas Jenny and KathV and still made it back to greater L/A Saturday to catch all of Skip's football game and hobnob with Bates' finest for the afternoon.  Sunday brought a hastily-planned Casco Bay lobster boat cruise with my sister where the Pabst's flowed like wine.  A good time was had by all involved.

Concluding this past week, and more or less my trip, I suppose, was the wedding of Liam and Rachel, two very close friends.  The gang was back in full force for three nights of silliness, two Yarmouth, wedding-hoopla'd evenings sandwiching a traditional Auburn evening of Gipper's, Goose, and an afterparty which saw about a dozen pallets go up in the span of an hour and multiple bets on what would soon be drawing the attention of the Auburn Fire Department: structure or forest fire?  As luck would have it nothing but my feets caught fire so everyone went home with smiles on their faces.

After snaking a post-wedding ride back to Auburn and immediately falling asleep at the after party I awoke to a crisp, fall morning and, well, no one else at the house besides the owners.  As luck would have it Ma was already out of bed so my call did not wake her and she was happy to swing by and grab me, but this pickle enticed me to begin heading home on foot.  I was still attired as nicely as my closet allowed for the previous afternoon's wedding (think college professor more than power broker..) so my sweater and corduroy blazer kept me toasty warm even as I was rocking $4 Surfah sandals on my feets (I found these to be more appropriate than either the asic's running shoes I brought home or the 8" Chippewa loggers I had been wearing most days as they're my favorite footwear and I'm going to miss them this winter as it'll be the first winter in seven years we won't see snow together.  I hope I showed them enough love over these last couple weeks..


K, got that little recap all out of the way.  The Black Crowes show was legit.  Very, very happy I made it back to see them.  I was tempted to squeeze in a round two viewing but when J.Mac came up with Citizen Cope tickets I decided two shows was enough.  There's certainly some temptation to cruise to San Fran for a couple of days in December to catch a show or two during their six night Fillmore stand but that's another story for another day.  The show took place at The Palace, an old, fairly seedy-looking theater whose interior was either very well-restored or has just aged remarkably well.  Going in I had hoped to hear an acoustic version of "Good Friday" and I was lucky enough to have that dream come true.  I felt kind of silly though because it was the third song of the night and I didn't recognize the harmonica opening right away so it took a little while for me to build into things.    Overall I was quite happy with the setlist and the seventeen minute "Wiser Time" in the first set was absolutely killer.  Jenny-babe hooked it up from her Pepsi-folks and we were within ten rows of the stage, which isn't bad starting pay.  Low key, heady crowd down front, too, which was a plus, with the exception of one moron who tried to hop on stage and proceeded to get crosschecked by Chris Robinson and his mic stand.  Silliness all around.  The show continued as planned, as far as I could tell.

Not a video of aforementioned stage-bum-rusher.  Just a video of good music..

The Crowes do a lot of taping of their shows so I broke down today and bought the show from their archive site.  I'm a sucker for tracking down the live shows I've been to so naturally I was going to scoop this as it was readily available.  It's put a nice smile on my face this evening as I've been collecting the items I brought home so they can be repacked sometime on Monday.  It's going to be a little more weird heading out this time around as I don't really have a definitive plan on when I'll be back to the 207 again.  I'm sure I'll be back next summer at least for Em's Run but other than that I've really got no plan.  We shall see, eh?