Spent a little bit of time yesterday getting things up and running and now she seems pretty slick. So now it's more or less 100% (read: 70/30...k, 60/40) certain that the 'Pad will not die anytime soon.
(image courtesy makerichppc)
Life, or something like it.
Yes, I spelled lucky wrong but I thought people would look past that. And I already had one "like" so there was no way I was going to correct my grammar at the expense of a "like;" that's just silly. But seriously, how is that not a laugh riot? You see what I did? I jumped back a few months to when Artie Lange destroyed Joe Buck on his first show and the term "lucky pierre" was brought into the everyday vernacular of the sports/pop culture/media/ blog world, and I spun it back to some hilariously current wordplay presented as Super Bowl commentary. I guess it's a good thing Conan's out of a job because now I have seven months to pitch this to him and get hired before he's back on the airin September. I'm good at what I do. Sometimes the moon and the stars just align.In a Super Bowl match-up between Pierre Thomas and Pierre Garcon, the question has to arise: who will be the lukcy pierre?
Sidenote here: I've seriously never read or heard this anywhere so I don't know if it's been said before, but Farve's bath and forth seemed to have given Leno a perfect set-up of how to handle a comeback, right? You just have to not give a shit and do your thing. Even if you do your thing and shit the bed, like Favre did last year with NY he was still loved this year when he wanted to play again. Leno should be all set then because it seems like the bad blood just slides by the wayside if you go out and have a couple of good performances right off the bat. I'd say by his second JayWalking that Leno will be back to his old self and no one will really care. The haters will still hate, because they have always hated. But the world at large will go on like nothing...ever...changed. A little unfortunate, perhaps, but at least Mr. Favre has provided this much needed blueprint on comebacks and staying in the limelight. Take notes, Urban Meyer.I'm not going to chime in one way or the other, I've thought he should have retired as a Packer because I like those feelgood stories of an entire career in one location but on the whole that's his business not mine. I'll make no bones about this, however: I loved every minute of the NFC game last night. Watching Brett Favre get his ass beat for sixty football minutes was easily the highlight of my month. The Saints hit him early, hit him often, took penalties to hit his ass...and when it was all said and done he looked old as fuck. I have to admit it, though: That tough cocksucker didn't quit. As depressing as it is this asshat might legitimately still have another year of wear left to put into his Wranglers. Shit.
[FYI: This one started it all] + That's the thing about Buckner -- he's not afraid to muff a grounder. That's one of the things I most admire about him. #FavreRulesForAllYikes...but, you have to admit it: if the folks who thought these up go down they're gonna go down trying to make a play. And you've GOT to respect that. Cheers.
+ That's the thing about god - earthquakes, floods, hurricanes... he's just having fun out there. #FavreRulesForAll
+ Jeffrey Dahmer was hungry. And you know what? He wasn't afraid to improvise. #ESPNFavreRulesForAll
+ That's the thing about Lincoln. He's not afraid to go to a play with minimal security. Gotta respect that. #ESPNFavreRulesForAll
+ You gotta hand it to Stalin. When he killed millions, you know what that says to me? He was trying. #ESPNFavreRulesForAll
Did anyone else find it a little amusing that Neil Young performed, and this was immediately followed by Will Ferrell dressed as Ronnie Van Zandt as Conan, a guy from ZZ Top, Ben Harper on slide (I think...don't hold me to that. I hope it was just because that would make it much better as Ben Harper is a hell of a slide player...from what I've been told - I'm no guitar expert..) played a Skynyrd song?Neil Young and Ronnie Van Zandt had a little bit of a feud back in the day as the Skynyrd boys took offense to Young's "Southern Man." I don't know how serious this "feud" was, though it did come out in "Sweet Home Alabama" - one of music's first diss tracks, perhaps? That is "This is a diss track, perhaps it is one of the first?" It obviously is a diss track, I just don't know when diss tracks came onto the scene. I'm just guessing that this has to be one of the first..
The conversation I had with the DOBO [Director of Basketball Operations at Ohio State] ...basically featured him telling me that the NBA had called the Ohio State basketball office and requested that I take my name out of the draft because they feared that I was making a mockery of the process. He claimed that it wasn’t all that serious, but as a precaution I should not talk about the draft on my blog any more. I kindly obliged.A funny summation from a third party that has a catchy title can also be read by clicking the following link:
Today, (no this isn’t an FML) Dobo again approached me, only this time his face suggested that either the situation with the NBA had escalated or he found out that I was the one who spread peanut butter underneath his car handle door. Unluckily for me, it was the former, but luckily for me, he still doesn’t know that I was responsible for the peanut butter so keep that hush if you don’t mind. The NBA had called back and this time they demanded I pull my name out "or else."
...I’m not really all that upset about them treating me differently. In fact, I’m somewhat excited. I could very well be the first person in the history of the NBA to basically be told to go away. I’m aware that the NBA has kicked guys out before, but I’ve never heard of anyone who meets all the requirements being told that they can’t even be in the draft. Think about all the people who came before me who apparently were not enough of a train wreck to be told to stay out. People like Shawn Kemp, Dennis Rodman, and Zach Randolph were allowed a chance to play in the NBA, yet my blog and I aren’t. Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your kids away from me. I’m a loose cannon who simply cannot be trusted.
Okay, here’s what’s chapping my dickskin lately: Apple. Steve Jobs is, make no mistake, a genius. I know, that’s hardly a revolutionary statement, but people ignore his most amazing invention and focus on the small stuff. People point to the ipod and go nuts about how this little gizmo revitalized a whole industry, destroyed another industry or two and you know, changed the world. And fuck, they’re right. It did. And the iphone is pretty great too, just in terms of pushing the envelope of how we think about phones, and the computers are cool, but man, none of that shit is as important as his greatest and most overlooked innovation. Disposable technology. Man. This dude found out that it’s not enough to keep offering technological upgrades, you have to make shit break after a while too. See, people are, first and foremost, creatures of habit. Once shit gets to a level of ease, only a few types of folks will seek out the next level of techie advances, because really, the energy it’s gonna take to learn the new way of doing everything is gonna outweigh the amount easier it becomes, at least at first. That’s why no one bought Laser Discs…well, and they were stupidly huge…but you get the idea. That’s why people don’t really give a fuck about blu ray, or watching the whole movie on Qmov. It’s not worth the extra effort and money to make something already easy just that tiny bit better. That’s why shit has to be poorly crafted.The guy's got a point, right? So now, as I sit here, looking at new MacBooks claiming innovation with an "advanced, built-in battery," I find myself more skeptical than I usually am. Did these cock knockers just upgrade from ripping people off every two years on iPods batteries crapping out to now ripping people off every two years for a FUCKING LAPTOP? I mean, the idea of needing to buy new battery for a laptop sucks but at least there's the concept of, well, BEING ABLE TO REPLACE THE BATTERY AND NOT THE WHOLE DAMNED COMPUTER. No more of that, Apple? Sneaky...very sneaky.
Think about it. Apple really nailed this one. There’s an apple store here in Chicago, and I remember going in there only 2 years after the first ipods came out and there was a bin for ‘recycling your ipod’ right there in the store. There was a sign above it that said something like “it’s been good to you, now recycle it”. Dude? Are you fucking kidding me? Those things cost like 300 bucks! I hate to sound like a fucking grandpa, but back in my day shit that cost three hundred bucks wasn’t supposed to fucking die EVER. I mean, what kind of brass iBalls does this company have that they can sell this shit for so much money and then when you bring it in because it’s broken, they can smile smugly and say “hey, it’s not supposed to last much more than 2 years. It’s been good to you, right? Now recycle it and get another one.” Fuck. You. (and yeah, I’ll take another one…snivel)
...It’s not that the technology doesn’t EXIST to make these fucking things last…it’s that they actively have a business model that encourages the manufacture of shoddy products in order to keep everyone in lines at the apple store waiting to talk to dumb hacker nerds with pimples and bad breath and condescending attitudes and stupid ringer tees on and have them point out that the product line is perfect, but it’s quickly evolving and as such, this one piece of gear that you have that actually still works is outmoded, sorry. Can’t replace those speakers that totally suck and broke after six months, because we use new ports now.
ARGH! Fuck, man. You’re so fucking….smart. Jesus. It’s so smart it burns me up inside. I think that Steve Jobs seriously (seriously) applied the principles of the drug trade to the “white market economy” (get it? Because macs are to white people what uh…oooh, jeez, I dunno…this analogy is teetering dangerously close to uh, racist…nevermind). It’s like, they get you hooked, then you get some gear, then it suddenly runs out, then you need more shit to keep the shit you already have going and then you’re so deep into the fucking cult that learning to use a dell would be like drinking coffee instead of sniffing glue while you shoot heroin into your dickhole, and you’re on the fucking horse, or you’ve got a monkey on your back or you’re chasing the dragon or something….I dunno. Smart guy. That’s all I’m saying. You get it, dontcha?
1.5[The bowling green. Enter THE KNAVE, WALTER (with a dog), and JACK SMOKE, to play at ninepins]
WALTER
Thy tale is the stuff of dreams, and yet a waking dream of will. I had those words under a spreading tree in Jerusalem.
THE KNAVE
An I were dreaming afore, I care not, but do I dream anew? What manner of beast bringest thou to our nightly sport?
WALTER
Marry, ‘tis the remnant of a previous life’s nightly sport. That I was once a married man, thou knowest well; that the Lady Cynthia was a great lover of dogs, thou know’st in lesser degree; and the cur abandon’d has a tendency to dine upon chair-leg and oaken table, most retrograde to my lady’s desire.
THE KNAVE
Thou speakest in riddles.
WALTER
It hath been my charge to attend this cur ere my Lady Cynthia return ashore from a voyage to the islands, commanded by Sir Martin of Ackerman.
THE KNAVE
Thou bringest a cur to ninepins?
WALTER
I bring naught to ninepins. The dog is not attired by my hand to play at sport, nor do I fetch it ale, nor shall he throw thy bowl-turn in thy stead.
Still, on this subject Bobby Bowden was the man and easily my favorite college coach of all time. Unfortunate he had to get forced out after such a low season but he certainly looked out of his element more than once this season. He still MADE Florida State the dynasty it was from the late 80's through the early 2000's. Just unheard of success for 15 years. This guy was the man. Back in his heyday papa Skip was kind enough to use his connections to get me a personalized Bobby Bowden 8x10. Which, of course, I have no idea of its location. Some folder on some shelf, I'm sure. O well. I gots Lou Holtz' too, but I probably wouldn't had been so excited for that one if I had ever heard him in an interview...How the hell could he recruit with that lisp? Just because with that lisp he was able to win a national title he should go down as the best coach in the history of sport.[Editor's Note: I was looking for those pictures...sue me. To continue..]
sidenote: If you've read a lot of Simmons' blog already then I wouldn't say the book adds much...except for descriptions of decent 70's players that I thumbed over. Some of his NBA and ABA history was OK...but go to a library, don't support his candy ass. He frames it around him "learning" the secret of basketball from Isiah Thomas...which is a load of shit that any 5th grader already knows (well any 5th grader who was born around my time or before...I can't speak for the knee-high me-me-me miscreants that are roaming around these days..). So, Bill, William, I give you a -C. You could have been a contender.But anyways to continue Bill mentioned a story in the book that he loves to recount because it involves Michael Jordan in Vegas on All-Star weekend because this makes Bill seem cool for ESPN comping him a trip to Vegas(this is more sour grapes than anything...but I promise, ESPN, if you comp me a trip to Vegas I wouldn't STILL BE TALKING ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME TODAY. Bill Simmons is a cock knocker in my eyes. That's just the way it is. Damn, I keep getting of track. But this involves Charles Oakley being around Jordan, so Bill is reminded that at one time he asks a pretty high quality NBA'er why everyone was scared of Oak and the player said something along the lines of "There are a lot of bad dudes in the NBA. But Oak just doesn't give a fuck." Ladies and gentlemen, that was the 80's and 90's Miami Hurricanes football. A lot of guys at that time talked tough. A lot of programs at that time talked tough. But Miami? they just didn't give a fuck. It cost them a couple of titles but that's who they were. And I'll take not giving a fuck, missing out on a couple but winning a few over giving a fuck and not winning any. Hope you followed me there.
And on this subject I really don't understand most people who bitch and moan about having to do their taxes and then put them off until the last minute. This is probably because I'm still in a bracket where I get monies back I'm not really going to worry about it, because it feels like a big surprise to get my own monies back at the end of the year. It was kind of like how Bates was sort of paying me with my own monies for two years. Anyways, I don't like the idea of floating the government my monies, but I'll be honest with you: Until They say, "Matt, actually this year we're just going to keep all of that. Sorry about your luck," and the I go all Whiskey Rebellion style with shotguns raised and drop off the face of the earth and start my own Ruby Ridge somewhere in east bum and things escalate to "really weird" I'm not going to worry about it too much. But something for you folks to look forward to, I guess. And if the FBI is reading then that crazy talk was probably just the coffee talking. Let's pretend that never happened and move on.At any rate I'm excited to get monies back. Even though it's not new money. The thought of it still excites me. And I like thoughts that excite me. And come to think about it I'm pretty sure I spoke about my tax stance last year. I don't like them, don't think I'll ever like them, but I suppose I'll keep paying them. Well, the ones I have to.