Friday, October 30, 2009

Oh, what a year..

Yep, believe it or not, this is the one year anniversary of the 'Pad.  Time seems to have flown I don't feel like I've accomplished all that much in the past 12 months.  Yes, I've changed jobs (and will soon be changing again, whether I'd really like to or not.  The resume is coming together, I swear..), seen much of the northeastern United States via automobile (and a couple states just south of the Mason-Dixon line..), sat at home quite a bit, slept close to 1/3 of the year (somewhere around there, I'm sure.  Law of averages..), drank plenty of beers at Gipper's (believe it or not, but I was there this evening.  Until close.  Shocking, I know..), among other things.............

But for the most part October 30, 2008 to October 30, 2009 was a pretty good year.  Surely, it ranked somewhere in my top twenty five (This got me to snicker but I know most of my audience is more mature than I am.  But humor me..).  I had fun writing.  I hope you had fun reading.  As long as I continue to entertain myself I will continue to get things upon here.  I'm somewhere just north of 200 posts, as this sucker goes up so I guess my goal (until I give this up is..) to keep on the average of 3-4 a week.  Unless I get back to having a job with my own office.  When I had an office this provided for a good time (The number of posts tell the story..).  These days I don't have the energy to post as much as I did back in the late winter/early spring.  I like to sleep too much.  And I'm back on a reading kick.  I've got four books started.  Ishmael which I've got about 100 pages left, and Fahrenheit 451, The Catcher in the Rye, and Getting Stoned with Savages (Thanks, Brion and Maureen.  Liam let me borrow it, in case he didn't tell you and Brion happens to read this..) which all are just in the beginning stages.  One of these days I'll settle on one at a time and start to plow through them but I just haven't gotten on that track.

At any rate, I know I've got about fifteen dedicated readers, so keep up the good work.  Check the months on the sidebar or use the search to see any old favorites.  But because I have some time on my hands here are some of my best work (both in my opinion and from what I've heard..):

Where it all began (That's really all it was.  Humble beginnings, indeed..)

V-Day (From what I've heard this is the best thing I've written on here.  With throwback stories I try to measure everything I write by this.  If it's about as half as good as this then I go ahead.  If not I just keep it to myself.  One of these days I'm sure I'll top it but I have no idea when.  This was impressive, even for my awkwardness..) 2nd: (February was a good month...My life, L-Town, Boobies..guess that was about it...or was it?!)

Jimmy and Josh go to the goose..

ARAB MONEY! No, actually I don't have a video,because it's here and my favorite video OF ALL TIME!!

And this was from February, too, but it fits for the current month.  I'm AWESOME (the stool can be slow sometimes..).

If I missed anything, feel free to share (I'm not sober...maybe try April, May, June, July, August, Sepember, etc..).  Thanks again for coming out.  I'll try to keep up the good (read: decent) work.  And if I'm stuggling on verbage then I'm sorry.  The spirits got me.  I HATE grammatical errors on most days, and thank me later for the full post.(...I've got to get readership up somehow...)..  Cheers.

Monday, October 26, 2009


Was going to get some words out on this crisp fall evening, but I'd rather go to bed.  Fantasy football wheeling and dealing took priority this evening post dinner.  Be afraid, my friends, as Hacksaw JD's U.S.A. Brigade is storming back into contention after a three week hiatus from attention-paying by its owner/GM.  I'm back to massaging egos and demanding excellence all around and the boys have bought back into the system.  It's on like donkey kong..

I've got some good words in my dome, too.  Made an excellent venison stew, compared and contrasted the 86 Celtics and 96 Bulls, did some job conversating/networking with multiple folks, hated on the Maineiacs HARD, went to Boston, and probably did some other things of note which I am unable to remember at this particular moment, too.  Perhaps one or all of these subjects will arise again at another date and time.  I'm preparing to sleep well, and I hope you did/do, as well.  Cheers.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wednesday was Where the Wild Things Are (Or Were? Or May Have Been?)..

Today proved to be a short day a for work, escaping after a free lunch at Hammond Lumber (which was tasty. Fine day for it, too..) and I was afforded a free afternoon to do WHATEVER I damn well pleased.  So this is how things went down:
1.) Drove home from my boss' house, emptied my pocketses on the kitchen table, and removed my shoes.
2.) Went to the little boys room, picking up the newest Time that I could find on my way in (if you catch my drift..).
3.) Saw on the cover they had an article about Where The Wild Things Are.
4.) Said to myself, "Self, you don't like to read reviews before you see the movie which is being reviewed, and you want to see Where The Wild Things Are, so I guess you'd better see it soon before this magazine disappears."
5.) Myself said to me, "Well, Matt, you've got a free afternoon right here.."
6.) Me and myself decided to see Where The Wild Things Are.
And, let me tell you: I've been hesitant.  I LOVE the original book.  Easily my favorite children's book of all time.  If Brian Scalabrine asked me, "Like, all time all time?"  I would say, "Yes, Brian.  All time all time."  I like it that much.  Simple.  To the point.  Love between a mother and child, through thick and thin, even when the kid is being a little shit head.  Just warm and fuzzies all over the 20 pages or however long it is (Thirty seven, actually.  Just took a minute and counted.  Time counted 338 words, and I guess I'll trust Time on that figure.  Maybe the magazine's actually good for something..).  But at any rate I've been skeptical since I heard talk of a feature-length release some time ago.  Three hundred and thirty eight words and 37 pages over 90 minutes?  This could go many places, and none of them probably for the better..

Sunday, October 18, 2009


I think fall may have just decided to say, "F it," this year and just moved through the fun, colorful, WARMER portion of the season as things seemed to just get balls cold from October 1 onward.  And my creaky, old-man body is not happy about Mother Nature's decision to go ahead with this plan.  This aggression will not stand, man.  My joints are achy, what the hell?!  I'm 25, not 65.  This crap sucks.  My shoulders have been especially troubling all week.  This happens fairly frequently as I've had shoulder problems from mid-high school onward.  I've done the MRI thing, I just opted not to get cut.  I don't like surgery, or even painkillers for that matter.  So every two or three months I go through a spell where my shoulders hurt like hell for a few days, then things balance out and I go back to normal life.  I think the cold has made this particular bout of pain suck more ass than usual, as I've had to pop two Aleve on two occasions this week.  Sonofabitch.  Couple with knee and hip stiffness and I think the years are slowly catching up with this spring chicken.  I may not be as good as I once was.  Shucks.  Maybe it's time to start exercising, that way I have a reason to say I'm in pain.  However, I trust within the week I'll feel marvelous again and be ready to grab the world by the tail, pull it down, fold it up, and stick it in my pocket [Editor's note: As of concluding this blog I'm already feeling better.  No big deal..].  Ya, that sounds swell.

In other news I think I may be back on a little white russian kick.  Caucasians, if you will.  This all started because I went to the Cumberland Farms across from Gipper's Thursday evening to pick up a couple bottles of MD red grape wine for the weekend and for whatever reason they decided 11pm was a good time to wax the floors and not allow anyone in.  Zingered.  So sans keg in the basement I thought quick Friday following work and noticed I had plenty of good quality vodka (Kettle One, my personal fave, and Absolut) and Kahlua.  Of course I was lacking half & half (I prefer half & half to cream or milk.  Kind of the best of both worlds, really.  And that's how the Dude made them, so it has to be correct..) so I had to get a little creative: soy milk.  Ya, sounds gross, I know.  But lemme tell you something: Soy-casians taste just like they smell: DELICIOUS. 

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Ides of October...

And what do I have for you?  Nothing.  It was Thursday, so I was at Gipper's taking in the NLCS.  Manny being Manny BABAY.  That's where my allegiance lies.  I want to see the LA Dodgers win it all, because I think Manny deserves another ring.  Guy was the best hitter in baseball, and he chose to juice...for the fans, OBVIOUSLY.  Can't question that kind of commitment.  To the Sox fans out there:  sorry, I'm a Manny guy.  Always have been (since his Cleveland days; he could always flat out rake and that's impressive), always will be.  Ya, he tanked an at-bat in a Sox uniform in a contract year.  But I look past that one for the 2000 good ones he had with that B on his head.  And I don't care what people say, the guy could play the wall.  Granted he got tested a lot, but for being a "mediocre" below average fielder he was always up there in outfield assists.  Just like with his at-bats...he baits you to sleep and the he capitalizes.  He's playing chess while you're all playing checkers.  And to you Yankee fans:  Piss up a flagpole you guys suck balls.  Everyone else...don't worry about it.  Ya, I know the D's probably lost tonight.  I don't care.  Not when Manny's being Manny.

In other news  need to work Friday and the world-traveling JMac of Portland is coming up north to visit (Jenny be jealous you were one week early..) out, town.  Both of those, and the Ides of October have already passed...I guess I have nothing to beware of any more and hence no reason to post anything when all my good thoughts can wait for the weekend.  Cheers.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Nick's Quick...

Not sure how he came up with it, but young Nicholas posted the correct question early Tuesday evening.  Good for win a pat on the back the next time we run into one another.  Well done.  Watched way too much television this evening.  The Factor was unimpressive.  This troubled me because I had not watched the factor over the past few moons.  I wanted pointed commentary on the health care debate and I got interviews on nothing of importance.  For shame, Bill.  And I think I'm hooked on Sons of Anarchy.  I've gotten pretty locked in on the F/X network, in general.  Goodness every night-ish.  Though I'm a little concerned about Wednesday's problematic situation at a little kid and watch South Park or be a girl and watch Nip/Tuck.  Decisions, decisions.  Both have their pluses and minuses.  Guess it'll either be a game time decision or whatever Marie decided to flip on.  I don't believe she's watched Nip/Tuck so I'd say there's a 75% chance Cartman and the boys will be on.  No worries.

O, but check this out if you like Jeopardy!'ll be impressed and saddened at the same time.  Impressed because of the time and accuracy someone had to put in, and saddened because of the...time...and accuracy...someone had to...put in..


Monday, October 12, 2009

What is...the question?

Earlier this evening Ma flipped on ABC and Jeopardy! prior to the Monday Night fooseball game coming on.  I had been taking a shower when she did this because it usually takes me about 2-3 hours to make my way to the shower once I get home form work because I'm lazy so while I was home from work before 5:30pm I was not in then shower until after 7:30pm, but at any rate I missed all of Jeopardy! but the "Final Jeopardy!" round.
Category: Anniversaries & Farewells.  
Answer: In 2009 it celebrated its 40th anniversary with a farewell tour of the British Isles, where it was built; today, it's in Dubai.
Anyways long story short I nailed the question (didn't think it was too hard being from around here.  Maybe this is just another example of

Sunday, October 11, 2009

In honor of fall...a very swell season, indeed..

Their new album hits stores at the end of October.  If you have a half hour to kill then this can be a perfect escape.  I love these two...they're playing a show in early November in Boston.  I don't know if tickets are still available but if there's anyone interested in a low-key concert setting consisting of great music then I'm all ears.

Grace may be in order for mid-November, too...stay tuned..

Cheers (and more to come, I know last week I got a little lazy..).

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I listen to country music..

And most of it, I enjoy.  But Darryl Worley's new song has been getting heavy airplay and it just bugs the shit out of me.  Ya, ya, it's catchy and it has that down home vibe which consists of everyone having problem and that's just the way it is.  But the song opens as follows:
Got a call last night from an old friend’s wife / Said I hate to bother you
Johnny Ray fell off the wagon /He’s been gone all afternoon
And so the unnamed protagonist heads to the bar Johnny Ray is at, Johnny Ray says he has various things going on which are stressing him out, and the unnamed protagonist says "it sounds like life to me."  Riveting storytelling, as are most country music tunes. 

But the shallow story is not the issue.  I take issue with the close of the second stanza (or whatever you'd like to call it...I'm no music major..)  Johnny Ray continues with his problems and then says he just found out that his wife, Sarah, is two months late.  So our unnamed protagonist responds:
...Hey bartender set us up a round / We need to celebrate
Are you kidding me?  Johnny Ray's a recovering alcoholic who just fell off the wagon and you're going to buy him a drink?  What kind of a friend are you, unnamed protagonist?  A shitty one, that's what kind.  Donkey. 


I was going to continue on, but I'm le tired.  If it rains hopefully I'll get my act in gear and get some exercise in (Ya, I said it.  I've been working hard to plump up for my winter hibernation but I guess I've grown tired of that line of thought.  Stationary bike, here I come.  What, you thought I was going to jog?  Get real.  I need to get back doing something before I engage in that stupid activity..).  I may or may not have some randomly collected youtubes that I'd like to get up tomorrow, too.  Could be great, but don't get your hopes up because chances are I won't come through.  I'd say even odds.  Laziness is a tough mindset to shake..

Cheers (But it'll have to be a cranberry juice cheers tonight so I can help show Johnny Ray alcohol doesn't need to be present to have a good time or to solve your problems.  If you don't like cranberry juice, perhaps milk?  Milk.  That reminds me...Drink it up.  Yeah, that's the good stuff.. heh, heh..).

Monday, October 5, 2009

Oh, you didn't know?

It's official...I don't know what brought it on, but I'm caught up again big time.  I've been youtubing quite a few late 90's wrestling clips over the past week (Ed Note: I wrote this Friday but never had a chance to proofread it...and spent 4 hours Saturday doing the same thing.  This has been extreme.  If you have a problem with that I'll amck your lips off your face, pick them up off the ground, and make them kiss my ass.  Know your role and shut your mouth..).  Not in the new crap that's on now, but in the Attitude era WWF where the Monday night ratings war was HUGE.  When I was really little (think 5-7...and I was REALLY little then) I'd watch WWF when Hogan was king and there were millions of little Hulkamaniacs out there taking their vitamins and saying their prayers because those 24 inch pythons told them all to.  But, to be honest, I was never a huge Hoagn fan.  Rick Rude was my man.  Guy was a bad ass.  And had a bitching porn 'stache.  Nickname: Ravishing.  Always had a beautiful girl under his arm whose name escapes me (forgive me...I think I was 7 the last time I saw him on TV).  He was slightly more of a technical wrestler than the Hulkster (meaning he could do more than lock up, the "Test of Strength," forearm smash, and leg drop people..) but he was much more of a showman than a tactician.  Whatever, I was 7.  I could like whoever I wanted to like.  And Jake the Snake.  EVERYONE liked Jake the Snake.  I had his action figure.  It came with a snake.  Clever bit of marketing right there. 

For whatever reason I stopped watching for a few years but just before middle school business picked back up.  This was when the WCW and WWF blew back up.  And I was a pubescent boy and there was always T&A on the screen and a bunch of guys being assholes.  There really isn't much more a 12-13 year old kid wants out of his television (except the Playboy channel, but back then you couldn't win them all...The Godfather and his Ho's were a close 2nd..). 

Thursday, October 1, 2009


 Let's just say my DDP shirt made an appearance at the jobsite today (nothing like blue and purple graphics from circa '98)...and everyone FELT...THE...BANG! 

Cheers (And goddamn do I wish I would have remembered DDP about 195 posts ago so "cheers" could have been "BANG."  That would have been TOOOO COOL.  SELF...HIGH...FIVE!).