Saturday, November 29, 2008

So, this is Thanksgiving...

So as the Thanksgiving weekend comes to a close I'd just like to reminisce on the good times which always seem to occur when everybody returns to the good 'ole A-U-B for a couple days of debauchery. The first thanks must go to Jeff Campbell, because without his generosity the Auburn party scene would be vastly different. That house is legendary, has been that way for almost 9 years now, and I'm cautiously optimistic that it will be more of the same as Christmas approaches...

I don't know whether to punch or thank Beaver Lever for her unannounced gift which she felt necessary to bring to Campbell's house Wednesday night and throw down an unspoken challenge for me to wear said gift for the remainder of the evening. This gift will neither be given a name nor described further than me saying it was an apron. A Patriots apron, not a Giants apron...but I guess that was neither here nor there when it's all put into perspective. But I'm pretty sure everyone at Gritty's appreciated it. Thanks to those of you who kicked a dollar or two to "bet" me to wear it in...the only thing that taste better than beer is free beer.

Thanks also to Mr. Skip for starting our turkey at 5:30am for absolutely no reason. Nothing like rolling out of bed at 10:45 Thanksgiving morning and having a golden brown turkey on your kitchen table. I wasn't mad about that. Good form.

Last but not least, cudo's to CBS for getting Andy Rooney on air to lay into corporate America about holiday sales starting long before Thanksgiving even gets here. Mr Rooney believes it should be a law that bans Christmas displays in stores until December 1st. Now that would be something to be thankful for... cheers.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

New Life for the Red Dragon

I'm proud to say I'm back to being a two car family. The Jeep is back on the road.

I had my eye on new vehicles for most of the spring as I was sure I had no intention of getting the Jeep to pass inspection in June. The little red wagon needed serious exhaust work, a lot of body work, and neither inside door handles work. The Maine State Police frowns upon all of these. So I knew at some point I would be in need of new wheels. Uncle Henry's helped me out and I made some calls about some possibilities and happened upon a 1986 Volvo 240 near the end of June and fell in love.

She's got some quirks and I'm still plugging along with some minor repairs, but she's been my daily driver pretty much since I picked her up. It was a nice change. By mid-summer the Jeep had blown a tire and, of course, the rim was rusted onto the hub so no matter how hard I beat on that bastard with a sledge (and let me tell you, I hit that little turd hard) I was down a vehicle as my baby, my first (my last, my everything) car was out of commission.

That was until this week, when I finally decided to break down, trash the tire and just drive her down to my auto repair shop to get some help in throwing my spare on. Decided to get the oil changed too, figured what the hell. And over the past 2 days, I've remembered exactly why I never wanted another vehicle. There's nothing more fun than that little red wagon.

Granted, it doesn't go over 70. That doesn't mean I choose not to go over 70 with it...but it is not possible. In high school I maxed it our at 73...with my foot on the clutch as I was going downhill. That's all she's got. But for an in town car this little sonofabitch zips. Glass is everywhere so you can see everything, it's shorter than I am so it turns on a dime and parks like a breeze, you really can't ask for more. And the summer months it sheds its doors and top and that's when the magic happens. Ah, memories. Those of you who have been in it need to say nothing. Those of you who haven't will just never understand. The CAP-1 will always live on in the good ol' days.

So, the volv is a nice piece of machinery. It still catches the eye and elicits smiles as I pass down the pavement. I don't plan to lose it any time soon, if she's still going in 2018 you know I'll still have it because that's just how I operate. The Jeep is still not inspected, nor will it probably ever be again, at least while I'm paying. Hey, fuck the man. But as we come upon the holiday season I just want to give thanks to my baby, the Red Dragon, the Little Red Wagon, the Cap-1 mobile, the 1991 4cylinder Jeep Wrangler who has been one of my best and closest friends since we met that April moring in 2001. Auburn has never been the same since.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone to you and yours. Cheers.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Up and Down

Tonight may be a long night. It may not be. Depends on how I feel once i get going. First, great atmosphere at Gip's tonight. A lot of the old guard. That's the '03 class. Not the "OH HEY IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU" stuff, but the "' great to see you..." But any time you see Dek, Pelkey, and Shawula (sp?) in the same place at the same time and they all say hi to this guy...whatever, it was a good evening and things are looking up for the fiesta that is the L/A Thanksgiving...

But while at Gippers' a more pressingf issue came up. I watched the Celts...not the Steelers-Cinncy game. The Celts played great...until the 4th quarter. Few people may see it my way, most will see this as garbage time minutes, and so who cares. What I saw at the 7 minute mark was Pruitt at the 1, Tony Allen at the 2, Leon Powe at the 3, Big Baby Davis at the 4...and Scal at the no fucking place on the court...
I like Scal. He's a great quote. Perk is a beast knows that. The LA media knows that. The Boston media knows that if Bob Ryan and Dan Shawnasay (probably spelled wrong but he spews garbage so fuck him) didn't dominate the headlines. Scal's hilarious. But the hilarity he demonstrates to the mic is the same hilarity he demonstrates to the game of basketball...keep this actor off the court! He knows his way through an interview, but this guy's a 7 year pro...he should! Pruitt...get him on the court! Powe...get him on the court! Scal? Get that character on the bench STAT. Doc started him earlier in the week...Really? I saw...(don't worry, I have nothing better to do...) tell Doc to lay off the shrooms...this ginger isn't Bill Walton. We know what Scal's him Rudy. Gete the youngsters on the floor when you're up 25...not this dinkus.

I guess outside of this I don't have much. Had some big words planned about how the Celts finally got rolling in the first half and really turned it on for the 3rd qtr...but that was all overshadowed by Scal's final 7 minutes...I'm sorry. I'll accept sneaky layups from time to time but there's no way Scal should see the floor for 7 straight minutes, even in the last 7 of the 4th up 25...

Added note to this: The only reason the Celts got #17 last year was Scott Pollard. Said it last year when he was signed (verbally, the typing is new), but YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN. Scal's not Scott. Sorry. Just FYI. #18 is still possible in '09 but just know it will not be for the same reason as last year...Scott Pollard.

On my way to the Bean for the next few days. You won't hear from me in the bustling metropolis. I'm ready for sensory overload...don't you worry about that. cheers.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Notepad > The Stool

Many of you know I don't like to toot my own horn. But some of you may have noticed I beat the 'stool in publicly appreciating David Thorn and his spider currency antics by a day or two. While I stole this story from a comment section on the 'stool, I hope you're all able to see I aim to please. I knew in my heart of hearts this was going to be a hit, and the kind of humor my dear friends would appreciate. This was just too funny to resist. (toot, toot!)

I'd also like to use this as a time to announce the passing of the hilarious This blog has been around for a few years and basically just shit on commentators and sportswriters who spew garbage and misinformation with no disregard whatsoever. Washington needs watchdogs like this (I know, I know, Washington does have watchdogs like this. And in Washington, like the media, no one listens to them. If the media listened to, I can guarantee you that cock knocker Jay Mariotti would be out of a job. That guy is just awful. But I digress...). But, if you have a minute (or half a day at the office) to waste check it out and some of their past stories they write some good stuff. They claim they're done, but I could see a little MJ with the Wizards in their future. There will always be a market for them because sportscasters and writers will always spew 2500 words of garbage when 200 words of fact would do. And that's my 2 cents...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Comments Section

Just want to apologize for the comments not popping up on the same screen but bringing you to a new screen which contains only that particular post. I am confined to the fixed nature of google's blogger application and thus it is out of my control. I encourage the banter and enjoy the humor and insight outside voices bring to this fine forum, so read, respond, and re-respond. cheers.

Not sure if I'll be out on Thursday..if I'm out I'll do my best to come up with something good. But don't get your hopes aim is a career arch similar to Jose Canseco... .280 average with some bombs from time to time. And when things turn sour I'll turn to reality tv and narc-ing on my friends. But, feel safe...I'll feel bad about it afterwards.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I wish I could take credit for this...

...but I happened upon this while scanning comments on the 'Stool. I don't know if this is real or fake, but even if it's made up this is some serious amount of legwork and makes it equally amusing. To set the scene, a collection agent emails a gentleman reminding him he has a debt which needs to be paid, and said gentleman attempts to settle the debt. If you don't think this is funny, your heart is black.

A nice try, I must say...


I got to snooping and this guy, David Thorn, might just be crazier than a shit house rat (click the finger to get started...). I may have just found some inspiration and direction for this new, crisp notepad. Only time will tell..

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Financial, savvy?

Young Nicholas makes a fine point in response to my last jab at him and his lap dance fetish...we cannot let these hard economic times interfere with our post-collegiate freedoms. The crafty and intelligent will never cut corners even when the little known disease myfundsarelow strikes...they will find creative strategies to continue living, and living well. Not to toot my own horn, but as many of you know I did this even during the good times. A dollar saved is a dollar you can spend later, my friends. So let me provide you with some sounds investment strategies to help get you through these rocky times.

The first is simple: Wear a sweater, stupid. If you have an apartment and you're on a middle floor...wear a sweater and you don't need to keep your heat turned on. At all. Heat rises, my friends. Your pipes will not freeze, because you're stealing heat from the apartment below you and any pipes above you will be heated by the poor saps living above you. Hell, as long as you're on the 2nd floor or above, even on the top floor heat is a commodity. Having your special someone over for dinner? Kick that thermostat back on and show her a good time. But when you get up to go to work and her ass stays in the sheets, that dial goes back down, my friends. Pipes don't freeze at 50, they freeze at're fine, trust me.

2: Learn the "young adult specials." As much as I try to resist, we are in fact social creatures. That means we as young adults enjoy interacting at restaurants and bars. But, nothing says you need to go to the $5 beer 7$ mix drink shitholes with no service. EVER (Fuck you, Gritty's). After 9pm drink and ap specials are a survival tool fiscal conservatives need to learn and love. Some are nice. In town Applebee's has an after 9 drink special every night. But Fridays and Saturdays they slow play you with full price ap's. A sucker would pass this off and say "On the whole, I can pay a little bit more on these is the weekend after all. WRONG! Gip's throws it down after 10 on Fridays with half price ap's. If you don't know, now you know. Gip's on Thursday, half price 32 oz. after 9. Mix and match. Thursday grab a quick chicken basket and Killians at the Bee's before hopping over to Gip's for their tall, cool Budweisers. Fridays, just a Killians at the Bee's to loosen up then go to Gip's for a late dinner, maybe even to go, then have your tall cool Budweiser poured by yourself from a 30 pack can (this is simply not possible and i made myseld laugh as I'm typing it. I've yet to meet a person who can walk into Gipper's and not order a tall, cool Budweiser. Well, at least I can't, so that's my $4 splurge in a given week. Sue me.).

2a: Goose. That's all I have to say.

2b: These aren't money saving strategies but just need to be mentioned in this section. Always tip your waitress. And tip them fairly. Not always well, but if you're a regular and you have a tall, cool Budweiser placed at your table within a minute of sitting, that deserves a little more that your average. And I'm a 20% guy. See, jerks, I'm not cheap, I'm just quirky in my spending. And at these places my tips equal fair market value. You're ordering a $4 beer and $8 ap, even if it only costs you $6. 6+3 = 9. 4+8+3=15. It's not rocket surgery you're still making out like a bandit.

3: Pay with cash. This may thrown a little bit of you for a loop, but this might be my only true investment strategy. Very few purchases (other than restaurants and bar settings) are for just dollars. There are almost always cents left over. These cents, when placed in your pocket, brought home, and collected in a safe space eventually produce a small amount of savings. You seem to pay a tad bit more initially, But 40 cents here and 30 cents there are negligible and forgotten as soon as the purchase is made...but this becomes a rainy day fund. You start doing this, my friends, and pay mostly with cash from now on, you could find yourself with close to $40 dollars by Christmas time that you forgot you had. This equals cards for mom and the grandparents, who eat that shit up (+/-$10) That's still close to 30 bones to blow on food and drinks. Follow steps 2 and 2a and you've got yourself a free weekend right there almost every month. (Some of you are saying, "Matt, how can this be? I don't think I spend all that much money." Well let me spell out my voodoo math. I believe (in most cases) everything in life comes back to 50/50 odds. Some things are up, some are down. In this case, sometimes you get more change than 50 cents when you pay with cash, sometimes less. But if you make 20 purcheses a week, no matter if you spend a dollar and change or $100 and change, my voodoo math says about $10 a week will come back to your pocket slightly unexpected at a later date. You're not gaining any money doing it, but trust me most times it sure as hell puts a smile on your face when you find your trust sack of quarters.

3a: Coinstar is the devil. If you want to give 11 cent's on the dollar to me I'll roll your changes with a smile on my face all the way to the bizank. It takes a half hour (+ or -) to roll $100 in coin, less if it's mostly silver. Don't pay the evil machines $20 an hour to do this for you.

4: and this goes back to a finishing suggestion from point 2. Buying in bulk is generally your friend. Generally, that is, because if you cannot engage in portion control with your bulk purchases you will lose money. That is, say you buy a 30 pack for 18 dollars, but feel the need to drink 5 when 2 will do. Indulges have their time, but don't make it every night. We are being frugal, right? And when you buy cans and bottles, save your cans and bottles. Like change, it's yours but you get it back. Let's call changes and cans diversification within your portfolio.

5: And this is my favorite, but will probably find some haters: Live with your parents. This is not to say you can live a freewheeling lifestyle. Hear me out. I'm single, and I don't have the knack for conversation with the opposite sex. From time to time, however, I do get lucky, and at times these fine co-eds are also without adequate and/or appropriate housing. "Matt, how do find a way?" A little thing I call a low priced, but clean, hotel room. "Matt, what the shit? Hotels cost money...You've led me along for this long and now in your last point your thesis comes crumbling to the ground..." Not so fast, my friends. What's a room go for, $75, maybe? Say the moon and the stars align and I'm in need of a hotel room 4 weekend evenings in a given month. Do the math, that's $300 at the absolute most. Think about the cost of an apartment, even in Lewiston. $500ish. That's at least $200 in my pocket (and let's be honest, $550 a month since I moved back because I'm in what the unlucky call a "cold streak") every month.

"Matt, you are a genius."

(toot, toot).

Friday, November 14, 2008

Fell on Black Days

So, this is my first retort to comments, and I really didn't expect to bother with this...but it's Thursday and this post may be caused by my weekly Gipper's night. Though in truth this Gipper's night saw only 5 minutes of Gippers and then ventured from Applebee's to Margarita's to the Goose because Gip's has the NFL network so it was packed and I was pissed come 8:15pm when I remembered this crucial tidbit of information as I pulled into a packed parking lot...but I digress. Margarita's had the game on so I saw most the second half and OT there which made me warm and fuzzy inside because now I'm pretty sure my Giants have this league on lock; but, again, that's neither here nor there.

I did not watch the CMA's last night because the Celts were playing the Hawks in a key early season match up...CMA's vs. Celts/Hawks?...that's not even up for debate. Game was an instant classic, too, so I had no reason to change the channel once it was locked in on Comcast Sports New England. This also may have been a result of the Blue Bird's CD (that's compact dics, they came out prior to Ipods and provide better quality audio than the mp3 or AAC format. Still nowhere near the warmth of LP's, but I'm pretty sure no one reading this appreciates LP's so this will fall on deaf ears...) player recently finding old Soundgarden and Alice In Chains. I couldn't say I was ever truly interested in the grunge sound when it came out...but that was 1990-1994 and I was 7-10 at the time. Sue me. But over the last few months I've found it powerful. If it wasn't for heavy, heavy intravenous drug use Layne Staley may have been viewed in the same light as Robert Plant and Mick Jagger (the key being neither of the latter died of chronic heroin use). But this period of heavy, heavy drug use produced heavy, heavy, guitar riffs, and that has intrigued lately. Country has been on the back burner. Grunge, (and 98.9WCLZ, mainly Sarah Barellis and Grace Potter, two fine female songwriters who have ABSOLUTELY no link to the aforementioned artists but shut up they're good) have been where my musical interests have been positioned since August. Toss on Dirt and you'll see what I'm getting at...

As far as Fantasy Football goes...I mentioned the good old days. And those were the good old days. Some people (Jaguars fans from New England) know their season is over before it begins, so all they have to look forward to is rooting for players who don't play in Florida and gloating when the Pat's don't win the 1-in-32 lottery that is the Super Bowl Championship. I don't like fantasy football because I appreciate the game for what it is...EVERYTHING(Other than Oakland, AL Davis needs to quit)! A 14-10 battle against two power running and defensive juggernauts in just as impressive as a 42-41 shootout, because they are both exactly what the game should be. I just don't want to sweat over either all fall for a measly 20 bucks. I'm not filthy rich; but, bitches, I'm barely broke. My point: Raise the stakes or our league will continue being treated as dated in this day and age (Sam will still compete because he's greedy, and Nick will still compete because the winner's share will buy him 5 lap dances. Campbell will still compete, but his efforts are in futility and I'll be the first to say I have no problem taking Jeff's money from his 2-7, unemployed ass. I'll end on that...still in parentheses...SHOOTER!).

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Celtic Pride

On a complete tangent that results from Pierce nailing a game-winning 18 foot rainbow with :00.5 left on the clock...If you haven't watched a Celt's game yet this year...get your ass in gear! Just make sure it's a home game...Tommy doesn't seem to be traveling this year, and Mike Gorman and (insert random warm body here) are nobodies. Nothing screams blatant homerism like Tommy Heinson, and that my friends, is true Boston sports.

And c'mon, after the last two games you're not fired up? That shit's baby food. NBA: Where Paul Pierce happens. Have a Pepsi Max or something and wake up, people.

On a side note...Pierce has put up more points in each of his last two games than Campbell has put up in each of his last two weeks in the Auburn Football League. Is Paul Pierce just that amazing, or is Campbell just that inept ("NBA: Where Paul Pierce ouscores Campbell's fantasy football team on a nightly basis happens," anyone...)? The jury may still be out on that, but stay tuned...

Fantasy Foo(y)ball.

Marie and I had a good conversation over dinner tonight that made me think just how long I've been doing fantasy football. Started in 1998, in 8th grade. So this is my 11th year. Double digits, I'm old...or am I? I feel like my league was on the cutting edge, still in the diapers era of fantasy football. Our commissioner was Dennis (The Menace) Cormier, a pioneer in the development of fantasy sports and a devotee of the Monday morning Sun Journal which contained all the box scores of Sunday games. Internet? What the fuck was the internet? "Live" updates of scores happened as halftime and postgame shows those first couple years. When 56k became the standard is was a good day if you could check all 6 1 o'clock games before the 4pm games were at halftime. It took until Wednesday at lunchtime to get stats out if the Monday night game ended after the delivery print of the paper had already gone to press. Those were the good old days.

My first year (not to brag, but you'll see I'm the man) I grabbed Steve Young (career high 36 td's and first QB to throw for 6 consecutive 300+yd games, in his last full season) in the 1st round and found a little gem I like to call Fred Taylor (rookie year when he rushed for a then Jaguars record 1223 yds, 1600+ total yards and 17 total the 14th round of a 16 round last two picks were kickers...that's what's up). The rest of the nuts and bolts are a blur other than the "phantom trade" which occured when one Jeff Sloat called the commish and said I consented to a trade (ERRONEOUS!) and STOLE Gary Anderson from me in week ll...but that's neither here nor there. To continue, I wound up 12-4 when it was all said and done and carried the banner of the inagural Auburn Football League Champion (I'll accept handshakes and pats on the back whenever you deem appropriate).

But much has changed in the 10 years that have followed, and my focus has certainly waned at times (Sabastian Janikowski in the 1st round his rookie year was not one of those lapses in judgment...I saw something special in that kid), but this year I decided to rededicate myself to the sport. And what I've found is I hate fantasy football. My team is 6-4, 2nd in the division and ranked 4th overall (though #2 in points scored), and not to fluff myself up, I have a stud team (Brian Westbrook and Tony Romo [who are currently on their way to the Naughty Dolphins for Aaron Rodgers and Larry Fitzgerald], Ronnie Brown, Chris Johnson and LenDale White at RB, Aquan Boldin, Andre Johnson, Eddie Royal, Desean Jackson to name a few at WR, Owen Daniels at TE (he's the #3TE in the league this year and plays for the Texans, if you don't know now you know) whatever kicker has a good matchup against a good but not great D so the ball will move but not result in touchdowns, and last usually a defense that is playing either the Raiders or the Rams (the beauty of week-to-week waiver wire moves).

Over the last 5 weeks I've put up over 600 points and have gone 4-1, and this caused me to forget why I hate fantasy football. It's easy to be happy when you're scoring points. But when you see the Titans with 20 total rushing yards (like those dinks did last week in an otherwise entertaining football game) you want to change the channel because your guys are playing like ass. But I guess my point is I like football, not football players. I like watching good football, not the blowouts that fantasy folks want to see. It was a lot easier for me to watch my Giants (2008 Superbowl Champion Giants, I remind you) when I don't have to worry about who has Plaxico Buress or Brandon Jacobs on their team (If you drafted Eli, however, I feel sorry for you). My football seasons were a lot more enjoyable when the 20 bones I threw to the league was just looked at as a night in August I would have to stay in rather than have a few tall, cool Budweisers at Gippers. The minute you start to take this crap seriously, you're ruined, and I'm sorry for you (and 2008 me...).

I fell into the trap this year, and while it appears I may get my money back this time around it's caused me far more aggravation than I need in Autumn. So next year, it may very well be hello Jeff Wolfert (and with good reason, this kid reminds me of a young Janikowski without the Polish heritage).

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Goose Turned 75 Last Night

Just wanted to get the word out. It was festive, let's just leave it at that.

Quote of the night came not from a person at the Goose (though there were some good ones there), but from Reese Davis on the ESPN college fooseball halftime show when he was talking about the first half of the Florida-Vandy game (Florida was up 28-nil at that point)..."If it was a fight, they would have stopped it. If it was a horse, they would have shot it." Davis 1, PETA 0.

Friday, November 7, 2008

It happens...

So yesterday was Thursday, which clearly meant I was going to have a couple of drinks. With Campbell unemployed he was obviously interested, so in trying something new (because i had a gift certificate) we went to Espo's to have a couple of drinks and some slices of pizza pie. First off we get fucked because we order a pizza for 15 bucks, then we see the specials on the board and they have twin lobsters for $11. Sonofabitch. But that's neither here nor there, I just would have appreciated having a waitress who would actually tell us the specials. Anyway.

The hostess who seated us and got us our first drink was a lewsiton dime piece. 5'6", fit. nice smile, little fuck me glasses, and what was most impressive is she seemed happy with her job and was smiling. That's something you don't see every day. But, both Shawn and I were taken by her, but we both lack confidence and don't have the stones to just call her back over and ask her about her situation. So after the meal and a couple Jack & Cokes my internal monologue says "Fuck it, if you don't weigh in, you don't wrassle." I pull our waitress aside and ask about the fine young woman in the black top who seated us. Her response was...

"Umm, yeah. I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend...yes, she does...and just so you know, I think she's kind of young..."

Whoops. Needless to say Shawn had to hustle to down his drink so I wouldn't make a scene breaking into hysterics inside. I'm a gamer so I was able to make it outside before I started laughing uncontrollably. We didn't see that coming. Another fine evening in the AUB.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Purple Tuesday

Said yesterday I'd go political today, so here it is. I currently dislike both Obama and McCain on the whole. Obama is untested and more of an ideal than an actual candidate. McCain seemed like a good choice until he went all Christian-right and alienated independent voters and picked Palin for his running mate. If this was a McCain-Lieberman ticket for the Republicans I'd be driving old folks to the polls tomorrow to vote for those two...but that's not the case. In my heart of hearts I'm a libertarian. Give me roads. Give me safe borders. Call it a day. Lack of government is the best government. Which is why is puckers up my butthole to vote for "the idea" of Obama, a man who has successfully aquired absolutely no record on any issues while he's been in political office. But Bob Barr as a Libertarian candidate? Former prosecuter who led the War On Drugs for 10 years through the 90's? To you, sir, I say, "C'mon." So Obama it is. That and I am a strong supporter of pro-choice, and a vote for McCain will be a vote to restrict civil liberties. Let our folks do what they want.

Senate race is a waste of time, of course I'm voting for Susan Collins. WHile it should be reason enough to vote against Allen because he's a Bowdoin grad, I don't have to because Collin's record and her level of respect within the Senate speaks for itself. Keep the good work coming.

Mike Michaud is still my vote in the House. Voted for him last time and he's done nothing to lose my vote since then. The fact I haven't received a single piece of mail from him is also a plus. I like the confidence he demonstrated by not even bothering to campaign.

Maine State Senate will be an authoritative vote for Lois Snowe-Mello. Deb Simpson wasted far too much paper in her campaign, which makes me want to puke. I've been receiving two flyers a week for the past two months...with nothing of substance on any of them. Not just cheap 8.5'x11" recycled paper, but heavy duty glossy cardstock. This blatant waste does not fly with me so I will vote for the incubant with a record of reigning in spending within the state.

Maine House District 70...this is a tough call. I know it's district 70 because Panthea Burns stopped by my parents house Saturday afternoon in an effort to get out the vote...and didn't endorse herself other than introducing herself. I like that confidence. I liked it so much I wished her luck. That sold me.

Ballot Issues:
1. aka the tax issue. I'll be voting for the veto. Dirigo is a flawed program that has not been successfully implemented. Taxing my beer is not the way to go about it. I'm not fed up with taxes, but I don't want my tax dollars going to a flawed program.

2. aka the casino issue. I'm against it, but not because I'm terribly opposed to casinos. I have a sneaking suspicison the taxes paid by the casinos will end up right in the pockets of the poor Mainer morons who gamble well above their finances, but I can look past that to the wording of the ballot issue. This would limit the state to one casino. If we want to go down this road let's be f'ing Vegas. Don't limit it to one casino in Maine, that's poppycock. rewrite the law then we'll talk. After shitting on the natives since we came across the pond, I think it's time to let the do what they want with the shitty scraps we've given them back.

3. Bond issue for drinking water. I like drinking water, I'm in. and bond issues allow for the maintainence of roads and other public necessities, and that's all I really care about in government. Give me roads. Protect my borders. Let me do what I want. I vote yes. Cheers.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Crap (or Not? Jury's still out...)

So this day has just gone to shit. Matt Schuab got hurt for my fantasy team and has put a damper on any hopes I have for knocking off young Samuel Fletcher and giving him his first loss on the year. It's one thing if I leave points on the bench. That's my own fault and I can wear that. But getting injured? C'mon. And Matt Schaub? David Carr starts as a rookie, gets absolutely pummeled for 5 or 6 years and doesn't miss a game. He sucked 97% of the time and probably didn't deserve his starting job, but he didn't miss a god damn game. Now this jerkus has missed or left 3 games in his first 8 starts this year...lock it up and get your shit together, man.

Track starts Wednesday, too. Am I prepared? No. Let's just leave it at that...

Having just gone on that tirade above, The Matt Schaub All-Stars are up 39 points over the Fletch-Cats at the conclusion of the Sunday afternoon contests. The younger, better looking GM of the 'Cats has Randall "Straight Cash Homie" Moss tonight and Clinton "aka Southeast Jerome, aka Coach Janky Spanky, aka Bro Sweets, aka Choo-Choo, aka Sheriff Gonnagetcha, aka Dr. Do-itch Big, aka Dolemite Jenkins, aka Bud Foxx" Portis on Monday Night Football. Big Ben needs to not get a hard on during pre game and play well...but let's just say 40 isn't a long shot with those two characters in the mix.

Close to 8, Indy-Pats can wait since the G-men kicked ass today, I'm watching the Simpson's Halloween Special. Peace, I'm out.

For the record...

...the no double spaces after sentences on this thing is killing me. It looks like shit, in my humble opinion. So, it's the "geniuses" at Google who can't pick their nose and drink a beer at the same time that's making it happen, not laziness on my part.

And, on a lighter note, stay tuned for my thoughts on the two party system that we call democracy within this fine Union. I'll try to lay off the libertarianism but no promises.

0 for 2

My collegiate Halloween costumes were legendary...that goes without saying. However, last year, my first year out I had no motivation to continue. Same went for costume ideas hit the proverbial shit fan when I cut the flow and could no longer typecast myself as a popular longhair (while never resorting to the lame-ass Jesus getup.). That's a niche market few can capture without selling out and wearing a wig. Wigs? that shit's baby food. So at any rate it appears I've found my link to Sampson, the mythical legend who lost his strength when he cut his hair...I've lost my Halloween mojo. And let's be serious, it's not like I'm pulling any tail right now either, so Halloween is a cheap excuse to get boozed up and grab ass. But my commitment to a legitimate costume has clearly caused me major hickups. As I attempt to bring the flow back I'll have to see if I can fix my feelings of costume inadequacies by next October 31st. My sources say I'll get the ship righted.

Sitting on my ass both Friday and Saturday nights stone sober (outside of a couple road sodas on the way home from the xc meet, but, c'mon, backroads on a Saturday afternoon? You know those are coming out. But that's neitehr here nor there.), I was able to watch some good and some so bad it's good TV. New favorite hour of television It's Always Sunny and Philadelpia and Testees were not as good as advertised this week. I was unimpressed.

Also watched one very good movie Thank You For Smoking, and one so bad it's good movie: Beer Leauge. And concerning Beer League...why the fuck in every movie that has a salty old man he has to end up dead? Dodgeball? Patches...dead. Old School? Blue...dead. Beer League...needless to say Dirt ends up dead. And if you've never seen it, let me quote Gump..."I'm sorry I ruined your New Year's Eve party, Lieutenant Dan. She tasted like cigarettes."