Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day & End of May..

Man, Memorial Day is already upon us...yikes!

I left my Stars and Stripes at home so Ma and Pa will be hanging it proudly on the deck Monday morning.  This is where it has been the past few summers so there's no sense changing a good thing even though I'm not around to chill out there at the moment.  It's not the Capone deck unless we're reppin' Old Glory like you read about.

This is another little moment when I get a bit homesick right here.  There was something early on that is escaping me right now.  Then there was Mother's Day more recently.  Now that the summer's upon us it's Memorial Day, then it'll be Father's Day and then July 4th.  All days where grilling has been a Capone staple for many, many years makes me feel kind of flat when I'm not home to grill and chill.  O, Easter was the first day that I felt a little flat about being away from family and old friends.  It's actually been kind of a silly week because I just booked my ticket for my July Maine swing a couple of days ago, so I've been thinking about home and the good things I do in Maine significantly more than usual.  So really, while I'll be disappointed tomorrow when I work all day instead of sucking down beers while cooking up piles of grub for 20 people like I've done the last couple of years on Memorial Day, I'm not losing too much sleep over it because I'm already starting to get the wheels in motion for some good fun come mid-July.  Yippee-mother trucking-skippee.  And I'll still have my swim trunks on.  And I'll still be hopping in the Pacific when I get off at five.  Life's not all bad..


Speaking of homeward bounding, my 2 week vacation is already starting to shape up and is looking more busy than I'd prefer.  I mean, everything I'll end up doing will be solid, like seeing family and hitting the sticks in the Lobster Bowl golf tourney like usual and hit up Gipper's on Thursdays after 9 and the like, but at the same time I also like to do very little sometimes.  I'll definitely be finding my way back up on a roof for at least a day, just for the hilarious of busting Johnny's chops all day.  Hopefully he's got plenty of new, off-color jokes for me.  His off-color jokes are something my life's been missing for the last few months.  Really put a smile on my face.  That and listening to country music for 8 hours straight.  Country isn't that popular out here...,even though it kind of is like the country in most places.  Or, more appropriately, what country people sing about: either backwoods from your hardcore country folks or sun tans and islands from your pop country folks.  To me it's like a mermaid trying to slide into a pair of jeans: It just don't make sense.


I consider myself over my bout of sickness, but I still have a lame-ass dry cough that pokes up way too often.  I'd prefer it too stop.  Lame-ass dry coughs really make me feel flat.


It's midnight and I have to get up for work tomorrow morning so I guess this is really all I can pull together for tonight.  I can't believe it's basically June.  WHERE IS THE YEAR GOING?!?!  IS THE SUN OUT HERE JUST EVAPORATING IT AWAY?!?!

I have no idea.  But to those who serve or have served, and to those who have family who serve or have served, Thank you kindly for your generosity and selflessness.  I like to disrespect the government quite a bit but you'll never hear me belittle any serviceman or woman.  Sincerely, Thanks.

And to anyone reading this in town: feel free to swing by Skip and Marie's tomorrow - they'll treat youto a tall, frothy beverage in a frosted glass.  I don't know what's on tap...but if you're really not going to show up to free beer because you don't love the taste or any Shipyard or Sam Adams or something similar then you can go piss up a rope.  Skip and Marie would love to see you.  They don't know that I said this but I'm sure they'd love to see any of the (very, very few..) folks who are in town.

Last but not least, it wouldn't be Memorial Day without a little Toby.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Bits & Pieces..

Did you know that Tater Tots were created in the early 1950's as a way to utilize french fry waste?  Well, now you do know that.  Tell your friends.


I've been feeling pretty sickly for the past couple few days so I've been trying to sleep quite a bit.  My sickness has been kind of nasty; it's tough living out here.  I don't know what I was thinking: I worked almost thirty five (35!!!!) hours last week.  WAAAAAY too much.  I really need to slow down.

The last couple days were pretty rough, though.  I was getting the shivers and the shakes and the sweats and generally felt crummy.  Cough.  Mucus.  Sniffles.  The whole nine yards, really.  I was pretty miserable.  Being sick is the anti-cool.

I'm pretty certain I'm rebounding right now.  I have a headache this morning but I think that's more from being dehydrated (a couple too many tall, frothy beverages the night before can do that to you..) than from being sickly.  I bought some theraflu last night on my cycle home so I'm going to give that a whirl once I get down to work.  I suppose it can't hurt, right?


Even though I was feeling pretty flat from my cold Sunday evening when I got home from work I happened to flip on the television and the Pac-10 track & field championships were on.  It's really the first time I've just sat back and watched a meet since my coaching stint ended about a year ago.  Holy smokes.  It has been a year.  The last 12 months have hustled on by pretty quickly.  Anyways I think team championships are a lot cooler than the Olympics or anything like that because every point counts.  Oregon has a sick decathlete, too, who won the dec and then won the 110 hurdles and came in second in the 100 the next day.  He's OK.  He broke the world record in the hept. indoors.  No big deal.

But I actually forced myself to watch until the end so I could see the 4x4 relays.  This was the first time I missed the 4x4 since I retired from competitive running a few moons ago.  It's such a cool event but it's absolutely miserable to run.  Way too hard.

Man, those were the good old days.  I'm not saying that I ever want to run it again...because I don't...ever...but watching the event on the TV brought back some good memories of letting the fur fly.

Don't sleep on the bobcats, friends.  Cheers.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

(Super Sweet..) Mustache Update..

I'm pretty happy with where things are at right now.  I know I should be happy because half of the people I work with feel obligated to tell me it's filthy on a regular basis.  A Hula friend, Keoni, caught one of the female bartenders staring with a disgusted face and when he called her on it she said, "I can't help it; it's just getting creepier by the day."  So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

That was a couple of days ago.  Today I went in to pick up my meager paycheck and three of my managers were in the office: two of the guys I get along with well and one of the young ladies who is way too pretty so I always say stupid things around her because she's too pretty for me anyway so I might as well get a laugh out of her.  The two guys started laughing at my 'stache.  One of them said I had a long way to go to get something good going and that he wouldn't be happy until I pulled handlebars into it.  I responded: "Anyone can wear a bushy mustache and think they're cool.  It takes a real man to wear this puny thing with no regard."  Brought the house down.

And it's funny, because it's true.  It's a regular Christmas card photo..


Also, 1977 called looking for its mustache and shitty sideburns.  I said I'd trade the package for two cartons of Winston's but I guess my price was too steep.  I'll just go on living my life.  Cheers.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Jinx, and I owe myself a new chain..

I finally threw up a snapshot of my two wheeler on the Facebook a day or two ago...and yesterday my fartin' chain broke as I was arriving at work.  Some luck I have.

Many would say my bike is cursed and I should just scrap it and start over.  While I 100% agree my two wheeler is a piece of shit, I've fixed just about everything on it so if I can get the chain fixed for cheap then I'm fairly certain there's nothing else that can go wrong with in until the things I've already fixed start to about a week.  Life's hard out here..

At any rate here are some photos of my two wheeler prior to its most recent break down.  She's pretty pretty..

And my hood ornament.  Just because it's silly..

Yep.  When it's cruising it's the nuts.  When it's out of commission it's the POS.  I'll still take'r.  Cheers.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A sad example of the things I know..

I flipped the TV on this morning and put it on the Food Network.  It was during the day so it was Food Network: In The Kitchen and actually good television rather than the Food Network: At Night shit where the shows don't teach you a damn thing about making delicious fritadas or scrumptious curried chicken salad.  At any rate I flipped it to Food Network and there was a shot, with no sound, of hands chopping an onion.  I knew immediately and definitively what show I was watching by a tight shot of hands chopping onions.  No voice.  No background music.  No torso.  Not even an idea of what dish this cook was creating, other than the fact it involved a simple, chopped white onion.  I know something isn't quite right about me knowing that...right?  Cheers.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Splintered thoughts..

Is there any better feeling in the world than the couple of seconds after you pull a splinter out?  HOLY SMOKES, THAT FEELS GOOD.  I managed to get a splinter in my finger a couple of days ago while I was at work and that sucker felt pressure packed.  You know, just sore, nasty pain.  Silly that it comes from something so tiny.  I couldn't get my hands on a needle or tweezers but I was able to get my fingers on a nail clipper so I hacked and I hacked and I hacked and after a few minutes I got it out and WOOOOO.  Instant relief.  SO good.  I don't get a lot of splinters these days but back in my days on the roofs I'd get asphalt splinters quite a bit  and those suckers suck.  It was never a big deal because I'd just dig them out with a utility knife but they still hurt like a son of a gun.

Last night I was taking out the glass bin at work and I cut my finger on a little piece of broken glass.  It was just a little scratch but it bled like I was in a Tarantino flick.  I walked to a sink to wash it and get the blood off before I went to get a band-aid and a server saw my bloody finger and thought I hand spilled ketchup on myself.  When I told her it was blood, not ketchup, she didn't seem all that impressed.

Actually as I assess both situations I realize that the splinter and the cut happened on the same finger.  My right index is getting the shit kicked out of it this week.  Rough week at the office, indeed.


Yesterday I watched the first three quarters of the Celts game before I had to ride my bike to work and I was shocked, SHOCKED, when I saw Ray Ray throw it down while getting the hoop with the harm.  I thought he lost those ups about, oh, five years ago.

Also on the subject of basketball, and the C's C's series, I'm pretty sure it was last year Lebron took a bunch of shit for walking off the court without shaking hands after the Cav's got bounced.  Things looked a bit different this year, eh?  My memory isn't great but it seemed like the playoffs happened a lot later last year.  I feel like I was watching this in a bar in Nashville when this happened.  Chances are I'm wrong.  My memory is a little hazy about a lot of things involving that trip........

But back to Lebron...I think he'll stay.  I think as much as he wants to be a global icon he's too concerned about his image to make the move.  He'd be ruined in Cleveland if he leaves, and many people would say "Oh, ya but it's just Cleveland.." but everyone in the world saw him play like shit his last couple games, and especially at home in Game 5.  I think he threw whatshiscoach under the bus by laying down.  Jerk.  It's kind of silly that when a team wins 61 games in the regular season it's because they have great players but when they lose in six in the conference semi's it's because they have a lousy coach.  Sweet, sweet irony...


One thing I do remember (and I just want to remind you all, too..) throws it back to '08 and I was in the arena for Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals when Bron Bron and The Truth went for 43 and 41 and Eddie Hype-Man House waved the towel over someone's head from the bench when someone was shooting a three from the corner and psyched them out Baseketball style.  That was some day.  And I was there.  Thanks to Nate Cleveland for that 2am call the morning of the game.  Made my day, I must say.  I guess it's still making my day; that was pretty swell.


Yesterday I didn't have to work until later on in the evening so I rode down to Lahaina to run some errands.  I got some grease for my two wheeler and lubed up every place that moved and now she's slipping and sliding like you read about.  I've got to say it was a good day.

Saturday night is bringing a Battle of the Bands, '80s cover style, to my eardrums.  Don't worry: G'N'F'N'R will be in full effect.  Cheers.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Flipped Idol on for a minute looking for Family Guy and happened upon this gem..

You know I love me some Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.  That's all that I've got tonight.  Cheers.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Did anyone else grow up watching Roseanne..?

Because I guess you could say I kind of did and last night I watched a couple episodes on TV Land and they made me laugh.  One of them was a Halloween episode, which were my favorites.  They always centered on tricks and spooks set up to spook other members of the family and/or people in the neighborhood.  Roseanne considered herself the queen prankster and also believed she was unable to be pranked.  I don't remember if she ever got got or not.  Way too long ago.  I feel like I was pretty little when it was on.  Basically Halloween was sweet on TV because of The Simpsons and Roseanne Halloween specials.

I know the last season of Roseanne sucked but that was about all I remembered until I started watching last night.  And come to find out Roseanne was kind of a bitch on the show, heh, heh.  For an actor I'd bet she had the perfect gig.  She could show up and be herself every day and say whatever she wanted because, well, she was playing herself.  Hell, I guess she was a reality TV star before anyone knew what a reality TV star was. A regular Truman Show, only she was Jim Carey AND Ed Harris.  She was married to Tom Arnold during some of the seasons, so he's on the show.  Classy move.

I also think John Goodman is hilarious, in general.  That's a total aside.  He's good in small roles on the big screen, too.  I can't exactly remember the last movie I saw him in...but I know he had a smaller role but he was very good.

While watching said Halloween Roseanne episode I also remembered her and Dan always had killer costumes that the wore to their Lodge Halloween parties.  Maybe this was a subconscious influence on my ridiculous costumes of yesteryear.  Those were the days...i hope this is my year to make a triumphant return..

For virtually all of you who are unfamiliar with the show let me provide you with a clip from the Halloween episode I watched:

I will say you all should at least fast forward to the last 30 seconds of this clip, because you wouldn't believe who Jackie's moose suitor at the party is even if I told you.  It just looks unimaginably silly in 2010..

Want to know something?  I'm not the least bit embarrassed to admit that I was a Roseanne fan.  I think I may still be..

I would like to know something from you folks out there, though: Am I the only one who used to watch?  Do most people even know this show existed, let alone watched it regularly?


Thursday, May 6, 2010

Cinco came shortly after tres..

Three plus months down.  No complaints thus far.  Well, I could complain, I'm sure, but it would be picking knits.  For instance, I just had to crush the shit out of my first roach in my hacienda.  Kind of lame.  And Yesterday I thought I had my bike tires on the path to fix-dom when the bead on my front tire slipped off the rim when I was putting air in it and the tube got pinched and went BOOOOOOOM.  I didn't just feel flat yesterday: I felt instantly deflated.

This morning, however, my brain started working overtime and I put Jon's front tire on my bike (his rear tire was still flat after a second patch job...we're winners..) and rolled down to Lahaina and back before work to buy more tubes  This is something we should have thought of, o, THE DAY OUR TIRES WENT FLAT ABOUT TWO WEEKS AGO..

I broke down and bought a hand pump that worked wonders so I was back rolling today and it felt great.  So great, in fact, that it got me in the spending mood so I picked up a new pair of shorts after work, too.  It's pay day tomorrow so all will be forgotten in a few short hours.  I'd like to say since I bought those threads today and have been indulging in more cocktails than usual over these last few days that I won't spend any moo-la-moo tomorrow...but what's the fun in that?!  It's just money, right Skip?  And I'm kind of hot for another pair of shorts on sale.  And, hell, they're on sale.  That makes them a BAHHHH-GIN!


On the whole, Preparation H is still proving to be a fine plan.  I mixed up some music on my iPod yesterday and put some Black Crowes back on it.  I used to roll through town many, many days straight with nothing but Crowes coming from the speakers but hadn't listened to them in forever out here.  Rolling on my two wheeler to the Crowes today made me smile.

So this is in honor of my reconnecting with the Crowes and also my new shorts, as they have some sunflowers on them:
I don't have a picture of the shorts.  Another time, perhaps.  Maybe with my two-wheeler.  But trust me when I tell you they're some fresh threads and I'll be wearing them to and from the office tomorrow.  Not during, however.  My office is pretty corporate and I can't be farting around on the clock like some of you knockers reading this and getting paid right now..

At first I was going to say I don't know how this only has 6500 views, but I guess the audio and video doesn't really sync up well.  Still, it's good audio and decent video.  I enjoyed it..

O, and Ma: the album this song is on is strong, in my humble opinion.  I'd go as far as to call the Amorica quite strong.  Look past the fact it has a woman's pubis on the cover; she's just being patriotic.  Find it in my room when you have a spare minute and give it a listen when you have a spare fifty or sixty..

And here's this, because The Crowes covering The Band seems appropriate to me right now.
For you, KathV.  I know you like The Band.  Yay, The Band! or something..


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Silliness from May Day: A Preview

This will be brief.  More will (probably..) come later on down the line.  This was my Saturday:

Worked a six hour shift at Hula during the Maui Onion Festival.  The festival took place right outside the restaurant so I could check out live music and bikinis all day.  The bikinis aren't really different than any other day but it seemed more fun than usual on Saturday.

After work I walked outside the restaurant, took off my work shirt and walked into the Festival beer garden.  Sucked'em up for a couple of hours.  Met some Farmer's Market folks in there who were headed across the island to a full moon field party and I had nothing to do that night so it sounded like a good idea.

It did not disappoint.  About 400 people were there and it felt like I was right back at Bonnaroo during a late night set.  There was a huge tent set up, full DJ, trippy-ass videos, bliss lights, and a lot of electronic trance music.  Made it over there around 10pm, got a little silly until 5:30am or so and then headed back home as my ride had to work at 6:30am.  Made it home around seven AM pretty tuckered out.

Let me just say that a good time was had by all.

I found out yesterday that this was not actually a full moon party but a party to celebrate the Pagan New Year.  Whatever you do, don't tell Jesus what I did..


The beach calls my name now.  Carry on.  Cheers.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

There's nothing better..

Than using a freshly laundered towel when you take a shower.  I feel clean much longer using a fresh towel than a towel I've used a few times.  Back home I'd always rotate a couple of towels because I hate drying off with a damp towel.  I always thought it kind of defeated the point...since the towel was already damp.  Anyways out here since I do laundry quite a bit less I've been rotating three towels.  I use one a couple of days straights, then bring in a second and rotate those two for a little while, then when I feel like those towels need a little break I'll bring in #3 and then rotate them all until whenever I get around to doing laundry again.  It's foolproof genius, really.  Today I used #2 for the first time, and, MAN, has it been a good day.  COUNT IT.


In other news I just got approved for my extended trek home in July.  Right now I've blocked out July 14-August 5, with some of the days at the end to be spent on the Big Island.  But at least two weeks will be held down in and around the 207.  Make sure you've removed your training wheels again by then, and do your best to make it home during that time.  Especially for Em's Run on July 25.  Craig's dragon and Sloat's breakfast will be on display for all to see, if it's anything like years past...Cheers.