Monday, May 21, 2012

Pretty sure that tonight I witnessed the universe implode upon itself..

Got sucked into the television tonight.  Had nothing to do.  My track season's over with for the summer time.  Classes are over until, well, Wednesday, but TONIGHT I had nothing to do.  So I sat to eat a fine, home-cooked supper in front of the tele to take in some Family Guy and Two and a Half Men reruns on the WB.  I don't get cable just the bootleg 10-12 channels but any station that has an house of Family Guy followed by an hour of Two and a Half Men is, in my opinion, flat out awesome.  These are the old, good Two and a Half Men, too, with Charlie Sheen in his pre-bloated/drugged-out-chic prime.  They're so terrible it's impossible not to laugh at the simplicity of Charlie Sheen playing himself.  But that, of course, is not what I'm here to talk about.

At the 8pm hour I still had absolutely nothing to do with my life so I flipped through my ten channels and forced myself to watch CBS for no apparent reason.  Full disclosure: Antiques Roadshow was an option but I turned it down tonight.  Don't judge.  Anyway, the television for the next two hours is irrelevant to what I hope to eventually discuss, though in that timespan one of the new Two and a Half Mens with Ashton Kutcher came on and I didn't find it to be as bad as the other one and a half I've seen.  That's disturbing, but nowhere near a cleverly disturbing as what came on CBS at the ten o'clock hour...Clash of the Commercials: USA vs the World.

The premise of the USA vs the world thing isn't all that crazy.  Anyone who has spent more than 1000 hours on the youtube knows that the world has much much much better commercials than the US, as few countries have the wormshit, Bible-thumping squares that good, ole AMERICA has in its censorship department.  The fucked up aspect is CBS ran the program...and then aired commercials at the usual programming break points.  A TV show of commercials with commercial interludes.

Yeah, that was all that was really on my mind.  I think I found the rock bottom of television tonight.

Quasi-aside: How shitty is Tiki Barber's life?  Quits football to do TV and ditches his wife for some young twenty-something but gets skewered by the media so no deal happens, tries to get back into football but no one wants his sorry ass because he shit on his former teammates when he was trying to make a name for himself in the studio.  Then the Giants win TWO Super Bowls (boo yah!) and CBS brings in a Tiki Barber doppelganger (doppelganger may be a bit too strong...but, another smallish, similarly builded, bald man with unnaturally white teeth..) to co-host that Commercial monstrosity alongside Heidi Klum.

Hah.  Go Giants.  And speaking of football and commercials isn't it a little ridiculous that this program is airing oh, three and a half months AFTER the Super Bowl?  Couldn't CBS have raked in a hell of a lot more viewers right after the big game, when all everyone in the US is thinking is about the new funny commercials that they just saw?  No commercials stand the test of time in terms of longevity on television, so shouldn't you strike while the iron is hot?  Did they have to wait to air until all of the spots were off of the air so the companies the ads were for wouldn't have to be compensated or something?  I WANT ANSWERS.


That was weak.  My apologies.  GO GIANTS.  Cheers.

No comments:

Post a Comment