Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Rain, rain, go away.

This April showers shit can stop sometime soon. There's a week left in June, this sucks. "Roofing" and "rain" only go together in sentences like: You CAN roof when it's not raining. You CANNOT roof when it is raining. F me. And the Joe Cupo's of the world can't just say on the 11pm news that it's going to rain all day, either. They sugarcoat shit. So my ass gets out of bed at 6am to drive to Turner where I get to sit in my car for an hour and a half while the rain is "about to let up," then work for 45 minutes before going back in the car to wait while a brief shower "passes through" for 3 hours. Woe is me.
The sad (read: typical) thing is that we'd actually like to work and are trying not to go out and suck down beers every night; evening activities that made up much of last summer. I'm not saying I'm an angel, and much of it is probably a personal desire to cleanse and detoxify my body after a 10 day bender, but still. I can count the number of times I was up at 6 last summer on one hand. This week I'm already three for three (well, 2 for 3, I went out on Tuesday night. But this just proves my point..). But now the weather is tea-bagging the best damn roofing crew in Maine. That's horseshit. If someone who prays on the regular could pray for this shit to stop I would really appreciate it.

Drink of the week:
Cranberry Juice. No booze in it, just cranberry juice. Lots of antioxidants. It tastes just like it smells: DELICIOUS. I get the all-natural, high-test and then go 50/50 with...tap water. That way it's not any of that light, sugar-free trash. It's still extra tasty but I can have two glasses instead of one with the same effects on my waistline. This really works with about anything sugary. Water it down and it actually tastes good. Gatorade, lemonade, kool-aid. You name it.

Snack of the week:
Yep, a classic. Chef Boyardee mini raviolis. And not just the mini's. Or the raviloi's. Pretty much you name it and it'll be delicious. Half the time I eat them room temperature and straight out of the can. I'm a man. I do what I want.
Secret: Most underrated and forgotten Boyardee product is the spagetti and meatball. Most know of the ravioli. EVERYONE knows beefaroni (sidenote here: Why the hell do we still call American Chop Suey American Chop Suey when beefaroni works so much better? This makes no sense to me. I know, I know, Boyardee probably has beefaroni trademarked because it actually makes sense and describes what's in the meal instead of "We're America. Let's take a Chinese dish, add Italian food and call it our own." More than ridiculous. Ridonkulous, I say. So, tomorrow do me a favor and go out and spread the word. Out with American Chop Suey. In with Beefaroni for dinner!). But most forget about his fine spagetti and meatball. My message to you all: Don't. Try it, Mikey, you'll like it. And remember this: Spagetti-O's aint got shit on Chef Boyardee products. If your parents fed you Spagetti-O's as a child it was because you were a bad child. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

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Due to work being called on account of "God's work" I got a chance to watch Gran Torino with my folks this afternoon. Predictable at some points but still a very fine film. Not Oscar-worthy, in my opinion, but Clint still has a load of hard-ass in his old...ass. I wouldn't go as far as to call the script well-written, but it felt real, Like what I'd expect an old, crotchety Korean vet to talk like after he's worked in an auto plant in Deeee-troit for 30 or 40 years. Let's just say it's colorful. Good. No Hangover, but still good. And Eastwood sucks down Pabst the whole movie. Touch of class, right there.

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The MLB sucks and I'm not able to embed this for you but this happened on Tuesday during the first game against the Nationals: Bottom of the third inning, one out, runner on first. Ball up the middle, Nick green makes a hell of a play on the 2nd base side of the bag, dives and tags out Christian Guzeman, tumbles, rolls over and throws out whoever was at the plate to end the inning. Looked great, was great. For whatever reason NESN doesn't show a replay going to commercial they just rush away. Whatever, they'll show it again when coverage resumes before Boston comes up to bat, right? WRONG. John Fucking Kerry is in the booth for the entire fourth inning. No replay was replayed. I'm sorry, John. I don't remember.

PLAY THAT SHIT AGAIN, SHUT THE HELL UP WITH YOUR PREPARED BUZZ WORDS AND NAME DROPPING AND STOP PRETENDING YOU LIKE BASEBALL AND ACTUALLY FOLLOW THE TEAM. Go have some ketchup. You're an asshat. That is all. Go Sox. Cheers.

1 comment:

  1. Literally 85% sox fans at that game. The Nats have set record attendance two nights straight. -ST

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