Thanks for reading, Allison.

So a week or two ago I throw up a big time shout out for everyone to remember No Doubt, and lo and behold my girl Allison Iraheta comes through and does me a solid tonight and throws it back to '96 with "Don't Speak". AWESOME.

While I wouldn't say you blew me away with the opening (keep "the axe [thanks for that, Paula]" in the closet you rushed through the first part) you did finish strong and closed it out with your typical flair. And I don't care what those judges said, kid, your getup was a nice touch. You are a rock star, you can pull it off. If you get a chance mess try messing around with a Grace Potter track in an upcoming week - I think it would be a perfect fit. Keep checking back in, thanks for the support!

(Today this still really is good stuff)

Keep on keeping on. Don't worry, the video will be posted Wednesday whenever I have a minute. Cheers.

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And Nick: You know I'm a Megan fan too, so I know we're on the same page with her having no shame and promoting herself as a sign off with Ryan ("Vote for me everybody!"). Seldom used, but definitely effective. I absolutely loved it. And I have no doubt she'll be back next week shimmying and shaking unconsciously. You heard it here first.

Fuck you, Facebook

So Facebook decided to get all cool and made up some dating matchmaking how-do-you-do on there. Whatever. None of my business. Well, it wasn't my business until they got rid of the big photo thinger and replaced it with this steaming pile of dating dogshit. So now no one can see this beautiful picture of the fab 5 from when I graduated; Midnight madness is a ball-buster. But we got it done. Anyways. I'm not impressed with Zuckerman or Zuckerberg or whatever the hell that asshole's name is. For awhile the picture would still come up, but when I checked today it was gone. Bastards. So from now on it will be enshrined here. Cheers.

(That was one hell of an afternoon...and fear the mullet.)

(You all knew this already, but...)I have no shame...

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

Happy Monday. You may notice a new box on the right side of your screen. Yes, it's time for me to look to you, the world, and the kindness you all possess within your hearts. If you have dreams of where this site can go then click it and send me there.

If you forget how good the buffalo wings at Gipper's taste then slip a 10spot my way and I will describe in great detail how deliciously messy they are.

If you want to hear me rant and rave about the new exhibit at the Portland Museum of Art (which reminds me: Sam you've got to go to your museum and let me know how that Matisse and Picasso exhibit is...I'm unhappy it wasn't open while I was down and will not be open by the time I am able to return...) then go halves-ies with me and I will not disappoint.

This isn't gambling, this is as close to a sure thing as you can get around here.
The world is my oyster (as long as you all are buying...).

Cheers.

Sweet night

It's 11:48pm on a Saturday night. Needless to say I'm at home doing ABSOLUTELY nothing. Beerfest is on Comedy Central. Awful movie. But when Farva died they drop a legendary Poison power ballad...which I think just made my night.

But leads me to a query: Why do these fuckers on youtube not allow you to embed good music videos? I'm stuck with this live cut from Rio (still pretty sweet because it's one of the few that gets Poison in the early days when they were still all coked up...and Rio? That has to be a good time down there) instead of the legitimate cheesey '80's video (And be honest, those panties are legit) which I cannot embed (Hair metal, leather and drugs. That's what 80's rock does!). This shit pisses me off. I first got angry at this with R.Kelly from a week or so ago, but at least he peed on people so you know he's a little f'd up. "Embed disabled by request" my ass. I expected the star of Rock Of Love to be fine with any publicity he could get. Maybe this is just a little bit of Jack talking. Maybe not. Flip a coin, I suppose.

And, "yeah...it does." Cheers.


p.s. And Nick, you know you'd never succeed in an international beer festival because you need to actually finish the beer in your cup to win. Just throwing that out there. ZING! Peace, I'm outta here.

Quote of the week:

"On the other hand, you have different fingers."
- Woody Paige's chalkboard on Around the Horn.

This was from Thursday. But, Happy Friday all the same.

And the fact that there is a website dedicated to posting Woody Paige chalkboard quotes shows you can find ANYTHING on the "internet." Frightening.

I saw this on the show, but wanted to quote it correctly, which allowed me to stumble there...scary.

Have a great weekend. Cheers.

TOTAL DOMINATION

You know (like every week...I suck) I watched Idol last night. And you know (like every week) Allison BROUGHT THE HOUSE DOWN WITH HER PIPES. It was just an unbelievable performance. She flat out gets it done. My week doesn't start until I hear her sing. Even the Idol producers knew last week's slap in the face of being in the bottom three was going to light a fire under her ass. So they give her the main event spot and she goes to work, another day at the office.

I know a lot of people are telling me how swell they thought Adam was last night. And I'll admit, he was good. But you can't make chicken salad from chicken shit and all that dinkus really wants to do is sing shitty emo music in a shitty-sounding, ear-piercing, way-too-high voice. This was the exception, not the rule. Must I remind you of his flat out embarrassing "Ring of Fire" last week? NEVER FORGET: This guy blows. Cheers.

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You may be noticing a trend in that I've gone from only talking about The Wrestler to only talking about Idol. Sorry, but Allison is that good. That's how you know I'm serious. And I've kind of been talking a vacation from the blogosphere this week and I've avoided computers when I leave the office. I'll have some new material for tomorrow or next week. Don't worry about it. I'm like the newspaper: I'm there every morning...

Cinnamon + Sugar, Food, etc.

Together, they taste just like they smell: DELICIOUS! But before I get too ahead of myself...Don't start with me. I know I was lazy and didn't pre-mix the cinnamon and sugar together so that there is the perfect balance of sugary goodness to combine with cinnamony zip. So, consider this a half-assed version of perfection. I did use butter, though, which is also very, very necessary to creating a delicious cinnamon & sugar bagel. Margainine is for donkeys. I don't eat these for breakfast, but I suppose you could and I know if I did I would be smiling all day. This is usually an after dinner snack when I have dinner too early and need to feed the monster (so to speak, this isn't my creation but I use it from time to time...I don't steal shit) before I go to bed.

While on the subject of food...lemme recommend a dining establishment for your stank asses (Redman's legit but that's a story for another place and another time. I'll be dat later): Holly's Own Deli & Restaurant in the A-U-B. I had been here a few time for dinner and/or drinks, but yesterday I found out they have an excellent lunch spread. Marie had an AM appointment which required her to take the day off, so I took most of the day off too, well, because you can do things like that when you're your own boss. So after a little trip to Freeport we grabbed a sandwich at Holly's. Muy bueno (I'll be fluent and visiting in no time, Camps). The yellow curried chicken sandwich was good, but I still have to say the best I've had was at Nothin' But the Blues in the Lew, which is now closed and pisses me off every time I drive by it all shut up and graffitti'd on...jerks. That place was great. Anyways back to Holly's. Very nice, relaxed atmosphere, they have mugs for their coffee and not paper cups, what's not to love? When summertime comes around they've got a big patio out back complete with ashtrays, they know their market and cater to it nicely. Most weekend nights they have live music in the upstairs dining room that really brings quite an eclectic blend of people together. Last but certainly not least: they always have Long Tail Double Bag on tap, which may just be the best beer on earth.

Screw the bagel, thoughts of Double Bag will keep me smiling all day...Cheers.

Nobdy sees anything wrong...

With a little bump & grind. Camps - this is for you. I mean, you sent this to me so I'm getting it out in the open for you. Pretty funny, very staged, but still a good laugh.

And because R.Kelly is an asshole and doesn't let people embed his vid's form youtube I'm forced to throw up a video of these clowns which is probably more funny than Camp's previous.

MY BODYYYYYYY.............MY BODYYYYYYY........IS TELLING ME YEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cheers.


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Also, checked out ClubTrillion this weekend for the first time. It's a blog started by an Ohio State basketball player who lives on the bench. It's a reference to the post-game stat lines when he gets in for garbage time for a minute or two so it shows 1 game played and then 0's in the next 9 columns for points, rebounds, attempts, fouls, etc...I heard of this awhile back when I was an awful basketball player who only say garbage time...Skip would joke for me to foul a guy as soon as I got on the court to get something in the stat line and break up the streak of zero's...and besides that, fouling was really all I could do on the court so I guess this is a story for another day...haha, my basketball career...STAY TUNED!

ANYWAYS. We started our blogs at about the same time...I'm quickly approaching 3000 hits...this asshole is up to about 700,000 and gets shout outs from Bill Simmons. Garnett was right, though, and anything is possible(!!!!!!!!!!!!!). I just need to get the word out so I can get close to a million hits and still be making $0, like this kid. Well played, sir. Well played.

Bracketology

I've done no research, I've watched less than 15 minutes total of college basketball this winter, I've read no predictions, I've seen no spreads. But this is my bracket:


I'm feeling a hot streak this year, to the tune of the year Sloat only got two games wrong in his entire bracket...ZING!!

Like the President, even in the midst of the greatest national crisis since the Great Depression I was still able to squeeze in time to do this. If the President could fit it in, dammit, so could I!

Enjoy the tourney, I'll be watching far too much of it at Gipper's. Wait, with beer on tap at the house, after tonight my ass isn't going to leave my couch for quite some time. It's Export on tap, but that's what I call...living the high life. Cheers.

Let me start by apologizing...

I'm almost certain this will be the most insensitive thing I've said on here: The blind guy has to go on American Idol. I'm sorry. I feel badly saying it. But seriously, it's just got to end. Just admit that he has no chance to win. None. I've got a better chance to be President than this guy does to win. That's just the way it is, that's life. The guy's got a decent voice and he's an excellent piano player, but the last person to idolize pianists (haha, I could be very childish here but I'm not going to even bother...) was Schroeder from Peanuts. It's just awkward for everyone involved. The contestants when they all sing together, the judges when they have to say he wasn't that good (Other than Simon, because he's the only one who really tells it like it is. It seems that Paula, on the other hand, would blow [hell, maybe has blown] him just because he's blind...) and the voters because who really wants to vote against a blind guy? So don't vote against him. Just, don't vote for him and we can put an end to this "feel-good" story. QUit the reverse discrimination against the sighted who are better singers.

Chances are tomorrow I'll break my leg for the previous incensitive paragraph. But, I feel I've got to tell it like it is. Cheers.

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Much better take on OK Go than those Idol clowns (and I NEED a digital camcorder so I can experiment with this s...):

Likes, dislikes...

I've decided that I absolutely love Chex mix. I don't know why. But, it really has everything...pretzels, Chex, bread, other little things that kind of look like a sex toy...what more can you really ask for? They're low in fat and they have some good flavor to them so I recommend to all. I haven't found a flavor I haven't enjoyed, but some of the ones with some chocolate kick to them are excellent. However, as I say with Law & Order: The original is still the best. And that's the truth with Chex mix. I don't think I've ever tried to make my own but I'm sure that would be the best of everything. That way I could throw in some nuts, wheat Chex, corn Chex, pretzels and some semi-sweet morsels. Milk chocolate is for suckers. Try it out and let me know how it tastes. There's something magical about the combination of salty and sweet...Other-worldly, really.

I absolutely can't stand guys who let urinals "mellow" in public bathrooms. Flush that piss down. When I used to live alone I would always let it mellow but that's in the privacy of my own home. If I get my own piss on me then whatever, it's my piss. But I don't want to look at your piss or splash my piss around in your piss. That just doesn't do it for me. So press the god damn lever and send your stream south. Public restrooms could solve this problem with those newfangled contraptions that are urinals without water. I don't know how they work but I like them. Believe me, when I put a urinal in the master suite of my house you can bet your ass I'll be flushing that thing only when I'm catching a buzz of the nitrogen, but for now I will flush and so should you.

While on the subject of bathrooms...gotta respect the 2ply TP. Anything less would be uncivilized. But at the same time...wicked dislike to the stalls in public restrooms that align a crack of the door with the toilet that's in there. I don't like the feeling of looking out to see who's washing their hands, and i don't like the feeling of people looking in and staring at my willy. It's just a little disconcerting to me. I need more privacy than that. This is much more common in handicrappers, so I've phased back my usage there. It was just a couple of years ago that I could only relax on a handicrapper high seat, but I've since kicked the habit when I became a first stall man. Which leads back to an earlier question, but now twisted: If the first stall is a h-crapper is that the "first stall" (read: usually cleanest) or would it then bump to the 2nd stall? See, I have a sneaking suspicion a lot of folks out there like the extra space and high seat. A king sized room on a mighty fine throne. This is something the world may never know.

Last my memory sucks. This, I dislike. I feel like 95% of the things that pass through this brain of mine that causes me to think "That's interesting" or "YES!" are forgotten within 5 minutes. Just zoom. zoom. zoom. So I wonder: what's actually been solved by really smart people, but was forgotten before they could write it down? I bet some really good stuff. Stew over that one for a couple of minutes. Cheers.