Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tuesday Night Craziness..

Today is Tuesday. (Obviously..) I had nothing in the way of plans for after my workday was over with. So last night I was propositioned to proxy-draft a fantasy football for the junior Mr. Fletcher while he ate cake and went to his golf lesson. And if getting someone to draft your fantasy football team so you can take a golf lesson doesn't scream cake eater then I don't know what does. Sign me up for being the sketchy guy that lives in your basement later in life. Anywho. Let me tell you something: If you've never proxy-drafted a fantasy football team for someone who takes fantasy sports seriously (As serious as AIDS, actually, in the case of our friend Mr. Fletcher..) then CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY AND DON'T EVER CONSIDER DOING IT. It is absolutely miserable.

(As I say often enough..) I'm not a gambler and I never intend to be one (I say being owed two tall Buds at Gipper's because I bet Byrd would get the win AND a quality start last Sunday...I had a feeling about the Byrdman, what can I say? Well, I can say this: That was a $5 bet as I only go to Gipper's on Thursday after 9pm when the drafts are half price. So that's not really relevant to anything; I really hate to gamble..), so I don't even enjoy when I play fantasy football for money. I don't like to risk dinero on people that I have no control over, and also who have very little control themselves over what they do as far as their number go (other than Pey-shithead-ton Manning who "calls his own plays"...but we'll see how that goes this year with a new OC, slick...I hate that ka-ka hut). So here I am, as a guy who hates to lose his own money...trying not to lose someone else's money. And my direction was: "RB and WR heavy...I want at least one of the top tier WR's." Thanks, donkey.

With the #8 pick I was able to get LaDanian Tomlinson (He's not LT...There's only one LT, my friends, and he's the Defensive G.O.A.T. You'd better recognize..). Also got Randall Moss, Greg Jennings, Thomas Jones (who showed on Barstool NYC that he's the man), Tony Gonzo and the Vike's D. Not a bad haul of starters for a 12 team league, in my opinion. So I guess I held up my end of the bargain.
O, and note to those of you who play on ESPN...If you have NOT drafted yet then use the "Lite" Draft package; their super-flashy draft board is an absolute pain in the ass. I did my first draft with Lite because I didn't have the most up-to-date Flash BS and I couldn't update it because it occurred during my month without "internet" at the house...AWESOME but actually lucky come -to-find-out. The Lite lacks bye weeks but it's so much easier to navigate and stay up to speed. Take note and trust me.
I was so-so happy with my own draft from last week or whenever it was. I still haven't looked yet to see who I ended up with; I don't remember I guess I blacked out during it, or something. I'll stay with the not-checking plan in case I had an awful draft so that way I won't know I had an awful draft for another week or so. You know what they say: In the race between the tortoise and the hare, don't bet on the chicken (What, you thought I was going to say "Ignorance is bliss?" Amateur..).

Whatever, onward and up(er, down..)ward:

Awhile back I found some old Shel Silverstein poem collections in my home library (yes, I have a library...maybe I'm the eater of cake..) and I started to read some of my childhood memories prior to resting my eyes each evening. What's funny about Shel (at least, what I think is funny about Shel..), is that while many people know him as a humorous poet who wrote a bunch of children's poems, he also was a regular contributor in words and drawings to Playboy magazine throughout its existence and was a close friend of Hugh Hefner. He lived at the mansion for quite a while, too. Both mansions, I think, first the Chicago mansion (Yes, Heff had a Chicago mansion) and then again once Heff moved his shop to LA. I was a subscriber for a couple of years. And yes, I read the articles (This is proof, actually..) But anyways ya I guess it was kind of obvious as a lot of his poems and drawings were a little twisted. I'm not meaning to imply that he wrote a ton of Penthouse Forum-esque stories complete with illustrations, just that he was also a very popular adult humorist to-boot. All-in-all a great guy.

For whatever reason during my semi-recent nightly readings I had wanted to recite a poem or two for all of you out there hiding in the "internet" but I never really got around to it. Also RIGHT AFTER I thought of this (well, not right after but within 36 hours...I wish I was making this up..) I was at Bull Moose wandering through their selection and they had a CD of Shel Silverstein reciting a bunch of his poems from A Light In The Attic (one of my two Silverstein collections, along with Where The Sidewalk Ends). I didn't buy it because I wanted to hear myself reciting his stuff first so I wouldn't be biased and attempt to do it with a Silverstein-ian twist on things. I like me and trust my steeze.

All that was to say here's me doing Shel in by second vlog here on the 'Pad:

I'd actually like to vlog more because I'm a slow typer. Maybe if I ever make it back to LL Bean and I buy one of those neat and tiny tripods that have three little, flexible legs that can mold and shape around things and allow a camera to balance on uneven surfaces (like rocks, or cluttered desks..) then I'd do it more. Right now I don't have a good way for me to get my smiling face in the frame without me holding the camera itself. And that's just too technical for me.

O, and if you don't like my oratory skillz: bite me. And if you have any requests for a reading let me know. I also have a great voice and am an excellent signer. Probably the best singer I know. Just sayin'..

Cheers (Wow I've used way too many parentheses tonight, even for me. Maybe I should just try to stay on a single thought one of these days...IT'S JUST SO DAMN HARD TO DO!!).

1 comment:

  1. Thanks again Capone... While I don't yet have a basement for you to live in, I do have some italian leather couches with your name on it - come to Charlotte soon!